Botkin Family End-of-Year Letter. 2014 Edition-MERGED

[Howl]

I glanced at the small print under the title of the book and read "How to fellate 10 guys" instead of "How to relate to guys". Yup, time for reading glasses. :embarrassed:

Wow, that one was close. I had just swallowed my sip of tea; otherwise I would have sprayed my keyboard with a fine mist of organic jasmine green. Too funny.

(by the way, i highly recommend no-line bifocals, if that's where you're headed.)

...or MAYBE, the Anna-Elizabeths have a subliminal message going on, where the text changes depending on viewing angle. Wouldn't be too hard for someone (ahem!) who studies electrical engineering to digitally enhance text.

[Odd1Out]

It does seem like they're trying to somewhat hide or at least distract from AS & E. And how nice that they just lump them together with a vague description about their year in the family newsletter.

[Peas n carrots]

I noticed too it appears they are trying to hide the spinster sisters. Is it becoming and embarrassment to the Dick Biologist?

[PrairieGirl]

I noticed too it appears they are trying to hide the spinster sisters. Is it becoming and embarrassment to the Dick Biologist?

Geoff Botkin is a phony Dick Biologist?

That could be a typo, but I hope it wasn't!

[FoxyMoxie]

Not very relevant, but I like the outfit the lady on the left is wearing, with the lace shirt over the maxi dress. Those plain sleeveless/t-shirt type maxi dresses are comfy but boring, that's a nice way to dress them up.

[GenerationCedarchip]

I just love Katie Botkin!

Not sure there is much hope for AS and E escaping Dad anytime soon.

I'm not entirely convinced that Pa Botkin is what keeps those two single. Granted, the father-daughter relationship sounds pretty weird in some of the things he's written. But the two actually seem happy with their writing and I wonder sometimes if they stay single because it allows them to keep pursuing their interests - at least as much as they acceptably can in that community. I remember someone(Cloakndagger or maybe KISA?) visiting here and saying that there were plenty of men interested in AS & E but that they tended to set themselves above most of the interested parties.

I saw it in my own church growing up. Women were pretty much on the shelf if not married by 25-ish but there have always been a few who (by choice, at least it seemed) married in their mid to late 30s and then only had 1 or 2 kids. In quiverfull circles, it's the acceptable way to have a small family. And I do sometimes wonder if that might be what AS & E are thinking, too.

[Coco]

I'm not entirely convinced that Pa Botkin is what keeps those two single. Granted, the father-daughter relationship sounds pretty weird in some of the things he's written. But the two actually seem happy with their writing and I wonder sometimes if they stay single because it allows them to keep pursuing their interests - at least as much as they acceptably can in that community. I remember someone(Cloakndagger or maybe KISA?) visiting here and saying that there were plenty of men interested in AS & E but that they tended to set themselves above most of the interested parties.

I saw it in my own church growing up. Women were pretty much on the shelf if not married by 25-ish but there have always been a few who (by choice, at least it seemed) married in their mid to late 30s and then only had 1 or 2 kids. In quiverfull circles, it's the acceptable way to have a small family. And I do sometimes wonder if that might be what AS & E are thinking, too.

Maybe so. At the same time it seems like they would have incredibly high expectations for their future families. And no guy has come along with the right pedigree. They probably expect to have handsome attentive husbands, genius children, beautifully furnished homes from the beginning, and financially secure places of influence in their circles. That's a tall order to fill, especially in a recession.

[Sister Mozz]

I'm not entirely convinced that Pa Botkin is what keeps those two single. Granted, the father-daughter relationship sounds pretty weird in some of the things he's written. But the two actually seem happy with their writing and I wonder sometimes if they stay single because it allows them to keep pursuing their interests - at least as much as they acceptably can in that community. I remember someone(Cloakndagger or maybe KISA?) visiting here and saying that there were plenty of men interested in AS & E but that they tended to set themselves above most of the interested parties.

Remember in that culture women aren't allowed to be anything but happy in whatever circumstances they find themselves. You become pretty good at faking it after a while. I don't know how the Botkinettes really feel, so it could be as you suggest, or they could be miserable and finding ways to hide it.

[LurkerOverThePond]

This whole "Western Conservatory" thing just chafes my chaps no end. It is BEYOND pretentious. What territory lies beyond pretentious, I don't know. Is there even a word? It is as though Geoff B. considers himself entirely responsible for reinventing western civilization, based on the spelling of his first name alone. He is even more enchanted with his own bull sh*t than Doug Wilson.

This.

lh5.googleusercontent.com/-BhSNnYkAnq4/VI5s-XgddpI/AAAAAAAAADs/2AsZOxOJaC4/s912/IMG_5105_Fotor.jpg

"Katharine getting used to the sounds of power, technology and dominion."

WTF?!? I just C-A-N-T with these Grade One assholes... How about "Poor Katharine getting used to the sounds of pretentiousness, pompousness, and being a doormat."

[uber frau]

There really are no words that would respond adequately to such arrogance.

Geoff is so far up his own arse he's practically turned himself inside out. And he seems to have taught his children quite well I that regard.

[Avalondaughter]

I'm not entirely convinced that Pa Botkin is what keeps those two single. Granted, the father-daughter relationship sounds pretty weird in some of the things he's written. But the two actually seem happy with their writing and I wonder sometimes if they stay single because it allows them to keep pursuing their interests - at least as much as they acceptably can in that community. I remember someone(Cloakndagger or maybe KISA?) visiting here and saying that there were plenty of men interested in AS & E but that they tended to set themselves above most of the interested parties.

I saw it in my own church growing up. Women were pretty much on the shelf if not married by 25-ish but there have always been a few who (by choice, at least it seemed) married in their mid to late 30s and then only had 1 or 2 kids. In quiverfull circles, it's the acceptable way to have a small family. And I do sometimes wonder if that might be what AS & E are thinking, too.

I have to wonder if they will indefinitely be able to stay single by choice. Remember their father praying over AS's ovaries when she was born? If he wants them married, do you really think they would defy him? They are so beholden to him. I think at some point he will demand they marry and they won't be able to say no. They're just too heavily trained to obey.

[rosalitta]

In my head T-Rex Arms can only possible be very tiny guns that only work when you flail them and roar. Considering this is only slightly less dumb than what the business actually seems to be, I'm going to stick to my mental image on this one.

[Georgiana]

I have to wonder if they will indefinitely be able to stay single by choice. Remember their father praying over AS's ovaries when she was born? If he wants them married, do you really think they would defy him? They are so beholden to him. I think at some point he will demand they marry and they won't be able to say no. They're just too heavily trained to obey.

Well, if he wants them married and puts financial force behind it, they would have to. They can't/wont support themselves in the real world, so if daddy wont support them, they'll have to find someone else to do so. All their skills are tied up in the family ministry, so I have a hard time imagining that they would be able to find a paying job that quickly on the outside.

[hoipolloi]

WTF?!? I just C-A-N-T with these Grade One assholes... How about "Poor Katharine getting used to the sounds of pretentiousness, pompousness, her grandfather's fatuous commentary, and being a doormat."

There. Photo indicates that even a toddler recognizes a stupid bore when she hears one.

[Marian the Librarian]

In my head T-Rex Arms can only possible be very tiny guns that only work when you flail them and roar. Considering this is only slightly less dumb than what the business actually seems to be, I'm going to stick to my mental image on this one.

In the dumps? Feeling the need for some free, post-holiday entertainment and laughs? Mosey on over to the T.REX ARMS Facebook page, where you'll find several videos of the Botkin boys playing shoot-em-up, complete with night vision goggles, camo-wear, and other firearms-related paraphernalia. Not to mention lots of real, honest-to-goodness guns. "Getting used to the sounds of power, technology and dominion," indeed!

Do they really believe there's going to be some sort of armed invasion in Middle-Of-Nowhere, Tennessee??? Silly me, of course they do...

facebook.com/trexarmskydex

[ladyamylynn]

I'll just leave this here for the Dominion Wackiness Troll...

[Marian the Librarian]

[nokidsmom]

Well, if he wants them married and puts financial force behind it, they would have to. They can't/wont support themselves in the real world, so if daddy wont support them, they'll have to find someone else to do so. All their skills are tied up in the family ministry, so I have a hard time imagining that they would be able to find a paying job that quickly on the outside.

I think that if Daddy really wanted those two married, they would be married by now. The fact that they aren't just suggests to me that Daddy is really just fine with them being right where they are, praying over ovaries notwithstanding.

No doubt they have had guys interested in them. So either the guys aren't passing muster with either Daddy or AS / E or both (standards are going to be high) or Daddy is really wanting to keep his daughters around because of their work such as it is, or their fawning attention to him.

I know from personal experience that a parent can talk all they want about the day their daughter gets married / has kids, but the reality for the parent can be quite different. So I do think it's very possible that it's Daddy who is keeping them single. AS and E are trained to be "happy happy joy joy" no matter what so I don't take anything they say that indicates they are happy with their lives right not as meaning much. They could be married, popping out a bunch of kids and totally exhausting themselves and be saying the same thing.

[Grimalkin]

Heh. That about sums it up.

Thank you, Burris for the great exegesis, but that phrase is a definite contender for the "wins internet" award.

I was going to nominate Geoff Botkin has fallic entitlement syndrome, but I still can't stop laughing inappropriately next to my snoring husband about Geoff Botkin is a fake dick biologist. Imagine the look on his face if he googled himself and saw that. Giggling again.

T-rex arms reminds me of a phrase my husband uses. Alligator arms- it refers to people who are cheap and never offer to pay or contribute when going out. Because alligators have short arms that cannot reach into their pocket for the wallet.

[Grimalkin]

I just looked at the family picture. For some reason I thought the Botkin brother were supposed to be hubba hubba instead of Howdy Doody.

Geoff Botkin is a fake dick biologist because I cannot say it enough.

[Burris]

Do they really believe there's going to be some sort of armed invasion in Middle-Of-Nowhere, Tennessee??? Silly me, of course they do...

They don't necessarily believe; they only hope.

I wonder if they ever stop to consider all the little things lost in war. Most people can at least conceive of losing life or limb, friends and family, belongings...but do they ever wonder what it would be like to go a month or more without an actual shower? To have very little privacy for activities such as urinating? Having to share water for activities such as washing one's face? To have limited and censored contact with family? To need clean, dry socks? To wake up on a cold morning wearing a thin layer of condensation that causes cold clothing to stick to cold body (and to worry about hypothermia)? To go from hours or even days of boredom to instant terror and then back to boredom again? To own practically nothing? (Even your underwear belongs to the government.) To hear rumours of contagion and feel more fear in contemplating that than of thinking about other physical dangers?

I didn't watch that stupid video; do they have battle vests too, or do they just forgo the armour because, y'know, it's just a game?

[DomWackTroll]

I'll just leave this here for the Dominion Wackiness Troll...

"Say hello to my little friend! No, not the gun-- Doug Phillips."

[Hane]

This whole "Western Conservatory" thing just chafes my chaps no end. It is BEYOND pretentious. What territory lies beyond pretentious, I don't know. Is there even a word? It is as though Geoff B. considers himself entirely responsible for reinventing western civilization, based on the spelling of his first name alone. He is even more enchanted with his own bull sh*t than Doug Wilson.

In a monumental fit of snark, I once sent GBIAFDB a faux-earnest email expressing admiration for and interest in his Conservatory[tm][/tm], and asking for information about its tuition fees and dormitory facilities. I was shocked, SHOCKED never to receive a response!

[Marian the Librarian]

In a monumental fit of snark, I once sent GBIAFDB a faux-earnest email expressing admiration for and interest in his Conservatory[tm][/tm], and asking for information about its tuition fees and dormitory facilities. I was shocked, SHOCKED never to receive a response!

I don't think GBIAFDB is going to win the Mr. Approachable award any time soon. Reminds me of the old joke about Boston Brahmins:

"And this is good old Boston,

The home of the bean and the cod,

Where the Lowells talk only to Cabots,

And the Cabots talk only to God."

[MamaJunebug]

I'll just leave this here for the Dominion Wackiness Troll...

ErMaGERD is that one of Jordan Niednagel's beloved Thomas Twins? In a Botkin-produced gun fantasy, no less? I'm weak-kneed at the thought of those two dynasties intermingling...