Chaviva's husband can't return to the US for months

[LucySnowe]

Sorry for forgetting to break the link, Happy Atheist!

I guess that makes sense about Denver, but...I don't know. It just seems like a halfway solution with the potential to make no one happy. Of course she's closer to her parents than if she were on another continent, but being in an Orthodox community in Denver doesn't seem to be providing much help or support, as has been discussed.

[Arete]

My husband was a master plumber in NZ and only two states wouldn't take his license here, one of them being the one we are in!

But wouldn't the plumbing be a lot less different than the electrical work? You could be right, I was thinking that with electrician credentials there might be concerns with how each system's safety requirements for its voltage set ups might preclude an electrician from being able to work without extra training.

[FaustianSlip]

I guess that makes sense about Denver, but...I don't know. It just seems like a halfway solution with the potential to make no one happy. Of course she's closer to her parents than if she were on another continent, but being in an Orthodox community in Denver doesn't seem to be providing much help or support, as has been discussed.

Personally, if one of my parents was so sick that I was packing up my household and moving across continents to be with them, I would move close enough to actually spend time with them, even if it meant that it made my religious considerations more difficult. There's a Chabad in Omaha- if they can manage to live there, Chaviva could. Not that it would be a laugh a minute, but at least she'd have family support. Being in Denver has gained her nothing- it doesn't appear that she's receiving an iota of support from the frum community there, anyway.

[Peas n carrots]

Personally, if one of my parents was so sick that I was packing up my household and moving across continents to be with them, I would move close enough to actually spend time with them, even if it meant that it made my religious considerations more difficult. There's a Chabad in Omaha- if they can manage to live there, Chaviva could. Not that it would be a laugh a minute, but at least she'd have family support. Being in Denver has gained her nothing- it doesn't appear that she's receiving an iota of support from the frum community there, anyway.

She has the added benefit of being able to work from anywhere too.

In her blog archives she seemed to have a lot of great things to say about the Omaha Orthodox community. But the article is from 2011...I wonder if something has changed in the last few years where the vibe to her isn't what it was? But agreed it is extremely strange she moves half a world to be near her family but chooses to still live several hours from them when there is a community she could join roughly an hour away.

mamaloshen.blogspot.com/2011/10/yes-there-are-jews-in-omaha.html#.VPMTAfnF_T8

[LucySnowe]

In her blog archives she seemed to have a lot of great things to say about the Omaha Orthodox community. But the article is from 2011...I wonder if something has changed in the last few years where the vibe to her isn't what it was? But agreed it is extremely strange she moves half a world to be near her family but chooses to still live several hours from them when there is a community she could join roughly an hour away.

Wow, you're not kidding. "Believe me, if I weren't in Denver right now, I might very well be in Omaha. My friends are there, the congregation is growing, the amount of children running around is enough to put a smile on your face, and there's a bagel joint. What more could you ask for?"

[EmiGirl]

Personally, if one of my parents was so sick that I was packing up my household and moving across continents to be with them, I would move close enough to actually spend time with them, even if it meant that it made my religious considerations more difficult. There's a Chabad in Omaha- if they can manage to live there, Chaviva could. Not that it would be a laugh a minute, but at least she'd have family support. Being in Denver has gained her nothing- it doesn't appear that she's receiving an iota of support from the frum community there, anyway.

if my parents were that bad off then I think I may be willing to sacrifice a few of the rules to be able to be close and take care of them.

[nelliebelle1197]

But wouldn't the plumbing be a lot less different than the electrical work? You could be right, I was thinking that with electrician credentials there might be concerns with how each system's safety requirements for its voltage set ups might preclude an electrician from being able to work without extra training.

I actually meant to finish that thought along those lines but seemed to fail miserably!

[Soulhuntress]

She has the added benefit of being able to work from anywhere too.

In her blog archives she seemed to have a lot of great things to say about the Omaha Orthodox community. But the article is from 2011...I wonder if something has changed in the last few years where the vibe to her isn't what it was? But agreed it is extremely strange she moves half a world to be near her family but chooses to still live several hours from them when there is a community she could join roughly an hour away.

mamaloshen.blogspot.com/2011/10/yes-there-are-jews-in-omaha.html#.VPMTAfnF_T8

Sounds like a nice community and it is a lot closer to her parents. Especially in Winter. an hour on I-80 is a lot better than 500 miles away.

[Peas n carrots]

Wow, you're not kidding. "Believe me, if I weren't in Denver right now, I might very well be in Omaha. My friends are there, the congregation is growing, the amount of children running around is enough to put a smile on your face, and there's a bagel joint. What more could you ask for?"

This is a bit of a mystery...why Denver? It seems the Omaha community would make wayyy more sense for her:

• Closer to family
• Low unemployment
• Lower cost of living
• Small, but vibrant frum community that has welcomed her in the past

The main drawback I can think of is the lack of kosher food availability - perhaps I'm wrong here but I wouldn't imagine Denver being so much better in that respect it trumps all the other benefits of living closer to her family. Plus she has the kind of job where she can work from anywhere. It makes me wonder if there are any burned bridges or theological issues with this community?

But I'm probably reading too much into it...as I always say, she seems to go out of the way to make her life harder. :shrug:

[LucySnowe]

I thought maybe it would be a hassle to deal with USCIS from far away, but the field office for all of Nebraska and a large chunk of Iowa is *in* Omaha.

A quick google shows two kosher restaurants (including a bagel place HELL YEAH) plus Krispy Kreme. If Chabad's there, as well a small frum community, there has to be some access to kosher groceries. (Side note: Sue Fishkoff's The Rebbe's Army is a fantastic look at Chabad and the places they go do. That poor guy in Alaska has to go to the dairy himself to make sure the milk is Cholev Yisroel....) I just can't see that being an issue for not moving, when balanced against needing to be with the ill family member.

Maybe more chance of employment for Mr. T?

[Peas n carrots]

I thought maybe it would be a hassle to deal with USCIS from far away, but the field office for all of Nebraska and a large chunk of Iowa is *in* Omaha.

A quick google shows two kosher restaurants (including a bagel place HELL YEAH) plus Krispy Kreme. If Chabad's there, as well a small frum community, there has to be some access to kosher groceries. (Side note: Sue Fishkoff's The Rebbe's Army is a fantastic look at Chabad and the places they go do. That poor guy in Alaska has to go to the dairy himself to make sure the milk is Cholev Yisroel....) I just can't see that being an issue for not moving, when balanced against needing to be with the ill family member.

Maybe more chance of employment for Mr. T?

I doubt it. Omaha was barely hit by the recession, and the market has fully recovered. Lots of new build housing going on

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/the-most-recession-proof-cities-in-the-country/

http://www.omaha.com/news/omaha-weathered-recession-better-than-any-other-u-s-city/article_98a78bd6-5ab1-58ab-8aff-e5884cc81b94.html

Looks like there are a few kosher product businesses in Omaha

jewishomaha.org/about/faq/

And it's not like Denver offers much more

scrollk.org/webeatingest.html

She has a pretty restrictive diet as it is...gluten free and pretty much vegan so she wouldn't have to worry about trying to find kosher meat and dairy like the poor guy in Alaska.

It's making less and less sense why she is out in Denver.

[FaustianSlip]

Just googling shows that there's a pretty decent Jewish community in Omaha- it's not Brooklyn, but there's Chabad, an Orthodox shul and stores stocking kosher food. It looks like there's even an eruv, and I'll bet money the cost of living is significantly lower there than it is in Denver. It makes no sense whatsoever to be living in Denver if the whole point of moving back to the States (and separating her husband from his other child, BTW) was her father's declining health. I can't see what corners she'd have to cut, observance-wise, to live in Omaha. It seems quite bizarre.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Doesn't make sense to me either. Her son is young enough that Jewish schools, for example, aren't a factor.

[Arete]

Gluten free AND vegan?! Dear God in heaven, how do people maintain that?

[LucySnowe]

The Gofundme hasn't moved on much, but apparently some very generous person has funded her to fly to the UK so she can meet Mr T. there.

That's a very large mitzvah!

[shedemei]

She's not Chabad, though. I can understand wanting to live where there's a community you fit in with and like. Her father clearly doesn't need her day-to-day help, and if there is an emergency she can get there via car without having to schedule and take a long plane ride.

If she's able to provide the level of support her family needs, or just meet her own need to be closer, then what's the problem?

[Peas n carrots]

She's not Chabad, though. I can understand wanting to live where there's a community you fit in with and like. Her father clearly doesn't need her day-to-day help, and if there is an emergency she can get there via car without having to schedule and take a long plane ride.

If she's able to provide the level of support her family needs, or just meet her own need to be closer, then what's the problem?

At the end of the day, you are right there isn't an issue. It just seems like a slightly curious decision from the outside looking in. If Chaviva felt comfortable discussing on her blog it would be an interesting read.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Gluten free AND vegan?! Dear God in heaven, how do people maintain that?

Fruits, veggies, beans and tofu, potatoes and rice, I suppose.

[browncoatslytherin]

At the end of the day, you are right there isn't an issue. It just seems like a slightly curious decision from the outside looking in. If Chaviva felt comfortable discussing on her blog it would be an interesting read.

agreed, it does seem rather odd from the outside that she would move back to the states for the stated purpose of being closer to her family, and then not move into a place where she is closest, where it can cater to her religious needs, the cost of living is lower, and where there are jobs available. a place further away just seems...odd. illogical, from all outside viewpoints thus far. if there really isn't another reason under the surface that she hasn't revealed yet, then i would say she is truly attempting to make her life as hard as possible.

[LucySnowe]

The thing is that it doesn't sound like she fits into the Denver community, though there have been some recent posts mentioning community things, which is great. She's had blog entries over the years extoling (sp?) how much she loves Denver, but there's not so much indicating it loves her back.

[Arete]

Fruits, veggies, beans and tofu, potatoes and rice, I suppose.

I think I'd starve from sheer boredom. It takes skill to keep a vegan diet interesting, I can't imagine doing it without bread and pasta to boot. Yes, there are gluten free options but most are inferior in taste and texture. There is one brand of Italian gluten free pasta that is quite good, but it cost 5 dollars a pound in this area.

[SunnyAndrsn]

Fruits, veggies, beans and tofu, potatoes and rice, I suppose.

It's interesting. I have a co-worker who started this in December for health reasons. She's dropped a tremendous amount of weight in a short amount of time. She was close to 300 pounds at the start of December, and has lost 60+ pounds since then. She eats a lot of beans, quinoa, veggies, salads, and some fruits. Occasionally brown rice, rarely potatoes, and lots of tofu based dishes.

[shedemei]

There's at least one blog that is dedicated to recipes that are vegan, gluten-free, AND soy-free.

I really don't think it's hard to have variety as a vegan, at all. I know not everyone sees it the same way, which is why veg*ns end up eating roasted vegetable wraps at restaurants because that's the vegetarian option.

[LucySnowe]

She recently posted a pancake that had yogurt on top, so I don't think she's vegan even if she leans in that direction. And there was definitely a turkey at Thanksgiving, but maybe that was only for family and/or guests.

I cannot imagine trying to be gluten-free, vegan, AND kosher at the same time.

[Mama Mia]

She recently posted a pancake that had yogurt on top, so I don't think she's vegan even if she leans in that direction. And there was definitely a turkey at Thanksgiving, but maybe that was only for family and/or guests.

I cannot imagine trying to be gluten-free, vegan, AND kosher at the same time.

There are lots of dairy free yogurts, ice creams etc.. They are just made with soy or almond milk instead. And a quick google showed that there are kosher brands. Some are actually really good. I'm not kosher or vegan, but my corner market carried a lot of these.