A book I wish the fundie girls could read

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

After hearing Matthew Hussey on the radio a few times, I sought out his book "Get the Guy." Not even a chapter in, I wished I could hand it to any number of the fundie girls talked about on here.

Some key quotes from chapter 1 that apply to these girls:

Both sexes are guilty if leaving their love lives to chance. Blame it on the fairy tales we're read as kids, blame it on Hollywood, but the fact remains that we've come to believe that true love is a product of fate. We've all been led to believe that someday it will just "happen," that one day fate will drop the person of our dreams right next to us while we're standing at a stoplight. The fate-will-bring-me-love approach lacks urgency, which leads to a lack of action. You assume that "when the time is right" the right guy will come along, and in the meantime you focus on your work, your ambitions, your family, your friends, your hobbies.... When people put aside their love life to focus on these other areas, years pass, and one day the lack of urgency turns into panic.

"Waiters" imagine they are playing it safe, but more often than not, only two things come to those who wait: the wrong thing or no-thing."

Scarcity makes us settle. If you believe that there aren't many good guys out there, you'll invest far too much in the first decent man you do meet, even if he's far from being the right one. Abundance, on the other hand, leads to choice and confidence. Abundance comes when we start increasing the amount of men going into that first funnel [discussed on the previous page; basically the first funnel is every guy you meet, whether you would consider dating them or not]. As soon as you heartily believe that there are plenty of men out there, you can adopt an easy come, easy go attitude and begin having fun with all of this.

The more new men you meet the more you'll have to choose from. This will allow you to be selective. We should all be extremely fussy when it comes to love. The person you spend most of your time with, are intimate with, share your life with, and whom you trust the most needs to be extraordinary for you specifically. There are extraordinary people everywhere, but it will take some filtering to find that certain someone who fills your particular needs and desires.

... those who know how to go out and find a relationship don't panic when they're single.

The French philosopher Voltaire said one of the wisest things I've ever heard: "Don't let perfect be the enemy of good." In other words, nothing is gained by waiting until all the circumstances are just right before we take any action, because the circumstance are never just right. Taking action now is what is required; we get more results from action than we do from waiting.

[Coco]

Thank you for sharing this :D That's awesome advice. Esp. "We should all be extremely fussy when it comes to love. The person you spend most of your time with, are intimate with, share your life with, and whom you trust the most needs to be extraordinary for you specifically."

And not letting the perfect be the enemy of the good, in the sense that you can choose someone even if you don't agree on everything perfectly, but make absolutely CERTAIN that you agree on the most important things.