Erin miscarried

[Firiel]

The whole "Jesus needed an angel to play with" really disturbs me. Honestly that thought doesn't even line up with their own belief system and I don't see how phrasing it that way brings much comfort especially to a child.

I hope she is able to sustain pregnancies. I had a fundie acquaintance who experienced many losses before finally being diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder. She went through hell and back with all the "just trust god" stuff. Medical issues like that are what can make fundie women in those circles feel so inadequate and wonder why Jesus doesn't fix them.

What a sad way to start a marriage. If only there wasn't so much pressure and they would just be allowed to enjoy being child free for a bit. :(

It disturbs me too, but I could see even quasi-religious, completely un-fundie folks saying similar things. "God just wanted an extra special angel" (unfortunately) doesn't seem like an uncommon notion in regards to losing a pregnancy or even a child...

Edited because spelling is hard.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I feel bad for Erin. Can someone tell me a link to their blog.

I just googled "Chad and Erin Paine blog."

[divadivine]

I feel bad for Erin. Can someone tell me a link to their blog.

chadsperspective.blogspot.ca

[ljohnson2006]

Who takes pics after a D&C? Weird.

[bekkah]

Its sad that I know his last name without even having to think about it or search for it.

I do hope that she is recovering and that they take their time with everything.

[Georgiana]

The whole "Jesus needed an angel to play with" really disturbs me. Honestly that thought doesn't even line up with their own belief system and I don't see how phrasing it that way brings much comfort especially to a child.

I hope she is able to sustain pregnancies. I had a fundie acquaintance who experienced many losses before finally being diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder. She went through hell and back with all the "just trust god" stuff. Medical issues like that are what can make fundie women in those circles feel so inadequate and wonder why Jesus doesn't fix them.

What a sad way to start a marriage. If only there wasn't so much pressure and they would just be allowed to enjoy being child free for a bit. :(

I got this logic a lot as a kid. It's comforting in that the baby didn't DIE, you see (because babies dying is sad), but Jesus called the baby home to a place of honor. It's OK because Jesus is taking care of the baby, and the baby is in a much better place. This being said, it's hard to come up with explanations for little kids when you're still reeling in grief, so I'll give them a pass on this. Probably just parroting something they've heard before, which is what people tend to do in these kind of situations.

When you believe that life begins at conception, it's hard to understand why God kills so many unborn babies. Trust me when I say that no one who believes this has a good answer for why so many fertilized eggs don't make it to birth. Science does, but fundies don't.

[snuggles911]

Who takes pics after a D&C? Weird.

I was thinking the same thing. I needed a D&C after miscarrying at 8 weeks b/c my body didn't expel all of the tissue, which caused me to bleed excessively. It was very traumatic.

I would not have wanted a family member to take my photo while I was in the hospital. I'm surprised Chad didn't ask the photo taker to put down the damn camera.

Then again, my miscarriage happened about 13 years ago. These days it seems like many young people want to document every moment of their lives to post on their social media sites. So, maybe it's not so weird.

[Justme]

Very sad for any young couple. I'm glad she was able to receive medical care from a Doctor, not just a midwife. (Not knocking midwives, they may be fine for non-complicated pregnancies and deliveries. A miscarriage may involve complications.)

I'm also glad that the couple could "announce" it as they saw fit, not Kelly.

[freethemall]

Wow, after all the discussions on here about them having problems in their pink bedroom and being behind Zach and Whitney, this is certainly a sad surprise.

[sleepygirl1]

I feel very sorry for them, my mother had 4 miscarriages and two stillbirths so I know its hard to have to tell people about it, and if they want to write a blog post about to help sort out their feelings then by all means go right ahead.

[Slt]

Ugh I've miscarried twice (once before each viable pregnancy) and it freakin sucks. Sad for her.

[ljohnson2006]

I wonder if they'll name the baby. Didn't Kelly name her miscarriages? I know they have a Jubilee like the Duggars.

[tabitha2]

I always though those discussions were a tad premature and overboard. Fundie newlyweds seem to get pregnancy insanely early so sex phobia or serious hang ups or not knowing 'how' is clearly not a common issue Chad obviously did not get a limp one from the Barbie dream house bedroom.

My theory is the that room and the cowboy room were actually planned for baby boy or girl Paine and they were Bing coy. Which is very sad now.

[ljohnson2006]

I hope that Erin's first time seeing the gyno wasn't for her DNC. How traumatic.

[takers401]

Of course it's no consolation but an early first pregnancy loss is common and not an indication of things. I hope they will test for any risk factors even so.

When I miscarried my doctor said that they typically don't do any type of testing until your third miscarriage. While I got the reasoning for that I still think it would just suck having to go through three miscarriages before potentially finding out about a problem that could have had an easy fix.

[Coconut Flan]

Three is the standard advice. Depending on family history or other issues, some doctors will do some testing after the first or second loss. We have an inheritable reason for miscarriages in our family and most doctors test for it after one miscarriage.

[BalconySmoker]

I blogged after all my pregnancy losses. Gave all the details (aside from gross /gory ones.)

Here's the deal, in some families and social circles you get so bombarded with phone calls and questions after a loss that it just gets exhausting. I posted blog entries after mine to more or less ward off tiresome questions. If I could answer questions online AHEAD of time through a post, it saved me a lot of social interaction during a time when I just wanted to be left alone to grieve with my husband. Truthfully, even the "I'm so sorry" text messages were just too damn much. It wasn't their fault, I just don't enjoy the comfort of other people when I've dealt with loss. The blog posts helped me keep people in the loop and briefly vent, without having to actually engage with them.

Given their family size, I wouldn't be surprised if Erin and Chad feel the same way. I don't blame them for sharing, I would have (and have done) the same thing.

[E Street Fan]

I hope nobody guilts her about her miscarriage.

[ljohnson2006]

I hope she doesn't try and get pregnant right away. I hope that seeing Whiney pregnant doesn't put her over the edge.

[0 kids n not countin]

While I do feel sad for them, I still think it's sad (& it sucks etc.) that both of them got pregnant so soon after marriage. Can't they even have just "a few" months (maybe 6 months) to be a married couple first? :angry-banghead:

[ljohnson2006]

No, 0 Kids N Not Countin'. They'd be seeing the fertility specialist by then. It has to happen now!

[Seren Ann]

Wow, now I feel so bad about the speculation on their marriage... She probably just went from homesick and adjusting to pregnant and tired to devastated by the miscarriage. No wonder her spark was gone.

And it must be so hard for her that Whitney is pregnant, I really feel for Erin, having to watch and fake a smile. A constant reminder of things that could have been.

[tabitha2]

She's Fundamentalists Christian....Not trying is not an option. If she initially got pregnant early and easy and she's otherwise healthy she'll be pregnant again possibly by the end of the year.

[0 kids n not countin]

No, 0 Kids N Not Countin'. They'd be seeing the fertility specialist by then. It has to happen now!

I know, I know, but the mentality just drives me nuts! Especially for the younger, newly-wed fundies.

[3 ring circus]

Chad put up a post about it. I feel so sorry for them, miscarriages suck!

I feel so bad for them. I saw a photo posted on the bates fan page on FB. Miscarriages are awful!!