Erin miscarried

[Mama Mia]

I get the sneaking feeling this was posted because Kelly wanted the world to know her genetic match conceived first, and Chad probably wanted the world to know his shooter works faster. Erin's been sucked into all of this. I think she wants out of fundyism.

That's just ridiculous and cruel.

Lots of people post everything on the Internet. If they have a blog about their life they will probably post about important things going on in their lives.

I personally would nt do it, but I wouldn't have a personal blog either. If you have a gigantic family or are a well-known person it might make sense to just post once instead of having to tell everyone you know individually and answer a zillion questions.

[Ellimenopy]

LOLf, doesn't say much for that test. I can be 50% accurate pulling a random guess out of my ass, given there are only two options.

I think that if you have advanced genetic testing with amniocentesis, they can also tell you the gender earlier than normal. However, nobody does that for funsies because it actually carries a small but real risk of causing miscarriage so unless you're in a high-risk group and are willing to consider termination based on the outcomes of the genetic testing, it ends up being kind of a dangerous waste of money.

[nelliebelle1197]

I must admit, I cried while Reading the blog post. However, I never should have opened this thread in the first place, as I'm going through this right now

I should be 12 weeks pregnant, however the ultrasound says I'm less than 6 weeks pregnant. While I'm sure each OB has their own methods/preferences, I've been encouraged to wait it out naturally. There are meds that can be taken to help move things along, however those aren't usually offered until later in the pregnancy, when it becomes much riskier to have a miscarriage. A D&C is usually reserved for cases that don't progress naturally, where not everything is expelled naturally, or when the women is having a hard time coping and just needs it to be over with. (usually after multiple miscarriages). Again, it could just be my OB, but a D&C isn't even on the table for me, with it being my first miscarriage and an early one.

All that being said, I hope Erin and Chad are able to find comfort in each other, and come out stronger on the other side. Losing a much wanted pregnancy is tough, and they need to give each other time to heal emotionally, and for her, physically.

Don't wait. I had a fetus with a heart that stopped developing at 6 weeks and I went 16 weeks thanks to the advice of an OB telling me to wait for nature. 12 weeks is not that early. I will not tell you what happened but I think you should trust what your body is telling you and get to the hospital or a different doctor.

[tkr322]

The Panorama Test that the PP is referring to is brand new. (There are a few other tests that are the same thing but different brand) I am pregnant and it was not available during my previous pregnancies. Insurance won't pay for it unless you have advanced maternal age or other family history, etc. OOP it's like $150. You can get it anywhere from 9 weeks I believe. It tests for chromosomal disorders and they can tell you the sex of the baby. I don't think fundies would do this test because 1) It costs money and 2) they would keep the baby regardless of whether or not it had chromosomal disorders so the only benefit to them would be finding out the sex.

[Cleopatra7]

This miscarriage is unfortunate. However, I wonder if the fundie lifestyle amplifies the sadness surrounding an already difficult situation. If you believe that a fertilized egg/zygote/fetus is the moral and biological equivalent of a grown adult, as many fundies do, then the loss of an early pregnancy must feel like your body "murdered" someone.

[Peas n carrots]

Poor Erin, I genuinely send good vibes her and Chad's way.

I will say I agree the photo is very...well, I'm not sure I would personally want to document such a personal moment for the world to see. If they feel it helps them somehow, then I guess it's fine? But just really, really unusual. Besides I'm not sure how I would react in the same situation.

[Lilblazer]

The Panorama Test that the PP is referring to is brand new. (There are a few other tests that are the same thing but different brand) I am pregnant and it was not available during my previous pregnancies. Insurance won't pay for it unless you have advanced maternal age or other family history, etc. OOP it's like $150. You can get it anywhere from 9 weeks I believe. It tests for chromosomal disorders and they can tell you the sex of the baby. I don't think fundies would do this test because 1) It costs money and 2) they would keep the baby regardless of whether or not it had chromosomal disorders so the only benefit to them would be finding out the sex.

I used the Verifi for twins test at 13 weeks because one of the twins was flagged as high risk for T21 (he was fine), and our test would have cost $1500 out of pocket. Thankfully, our insurance covered everything but $150. But I have a couple of girlfriends also pregnant who took the standard test (Harmony, Verifi, etc) as early as nine weeks and paid out of pocket just to know the sex that much sooner. My doctor said many woman (about 10% of her patients) are asking for it now becuse of early sex identification. Those tests are only valid for to detect aneuploidy, though. if you have a family history of some other illness or are looking for an all clear on something like spina bifida, I believe you are still going to need an amnnio or a CVS, depending on how far along.

Poor Erin. No matter how much we know (and hopefully her family and husband are telling her) that it was not her fault, she is still very likely too blame herself. I hope she gets the necessary time and support to come to terms with her grief and move on in a healthy manner. Who the hell took that picture though? Granted, to each their own, but had that been me, I would have strangled my husband for not stopping it and the photographer for taking it.

[Miggy]

I was told to wait three months after having a miscarriage before trying again. I don't know if this is standard advice or not. Assuming it is, how does a fundy wait for three months? No sex? Evil birth control? Ignore the doctors advice?

[bal maiden]

I was told to wait three months after having a miscarriage before trying again. I don't know if this is standard advice or not. Assuming it is, how does a fundy wait for three months? No sex? Evil birth control? Ignore the doctors advice?

I was told after mine that 3 months is old advice, but to wait at least one cycle after the mc.

[Miggy]

Thanks for that correction. My youngest is 15 so yes, my knowledge is a little out of date.

[DGayle]

That's just ridiculous and cruel.

Lots of people post everything on the Internet. If they have a blog about their life they will probably post about important things going on in their lives.

I personally would nt do it, but I wouldn't have a personal blog either. If you have a gigantic family or are a well-known person it might make sense to just post once instead of having to tell everyone you know individually and answer a zillion questions.

Cruel? No, what's cruel is how Erin doesn't have a right to privacy anymore. Because her parents shoved them all in the spotlight, lots of fans and nonfans think there's a continued right to know everything. Even then, sharing the news, "We had a miscarriage and are going through a tough time, please respect our privacy," is one thing, but a post with a posed picture that is all about making it public is another. Erin's very vulnerable right now, and the people who should be protecting her from the spotlight while she's in a fragile state are shoving her into it complete with a picture of her still dazed from the meds. That picture is what has me angrier.

[RosyDaisy]

I'm so sorry, curlykate.

[Adrienne83]

I wonder if they made a blog post because of the impending Whitney pregnancy announcement. This way no one would ask her (Erin) when she's going to have a baby. I'd do something like that if I was in that situation. Hopefully Erin is doing well.

[tkr322]

The standard advice now is to wait 1 month/cycle after a miscarriage to try again. I hope she does follow this advice. I didn't and miscarried again (both were very early though at 4-5 weeks).

Also coming from experience, it will be very hard for her to be around Whitney and pretend to be happy for her. I feel terrible for her and their culture they live in. All the self worth value seems to be placed on getting pregnant and having lots of babies. I'm sure she feels like a failure.

[gezykah]

I think that if you have advanced genetic testing with amniocentesis, they can also tell you the gender earlier than normal. However, nobody does that for funsies because it actually carries a small but real risk of causing miscarriage so unless you're in a high-risk group and are willing to consider termination based on the outcomes of the genetic testing, it ends up being kind of a dangerous waste of money.

I wasn't referring to some $30 test or an amnio test. I recently left a job where I had to deal with this issue often and there are blood prenatal screening tests where the main purpose isn't to determine gender but they can. I make jo assumptions as to whether or not Erin had this type of testing done but companies tha offer prenatal testing market themselves from a very fundy friendly stand point. Often the biggest obstacle to getting the testng paid for is simply not ordering them correctly. If the people filling out requisition for a provider don't give a damn the patient will have a battle on their hands to get coverage. Slightly off topic but I spent 6 months fight about $1,000 worth of bills last summer for stitches due to hospital errors.

[apple1]

Cruel? No, what's cruel is how Erin doesn't have a right to privacy anymore. Because her parents shoved them all in the spotlight, lots of fans and nonfans think there's a continued right to know everything. Even then, sharing the news, "We had a miscarriage and are going through a tough time, please respect our privacy," is one thing, but a post with a posed picture that is all about making it public is another. Erin's very vulnerable right now, and the people who should be protecting her from the spotlight while she's in a fragile state are shoving her into it complete with a picture of her still dazed from the meds. That picture is what has me angrier.

I agree.

[nokidsmom]

Cruel? No, what's cruel is how Erin doesn't have a right to privacy anymore. Because her parents shoved them all in the spotlight, lots of fans and nonfans think there's a continued right to know everything. Even then, sharing the news, "We had a miscarriage and are going through a tough time, please respect our privacy," is one thing, but a post with a posed picture that is all about making it public is another. Erin's very vulnerable right now, and the people who should be protecting her from the spotlight while she's in a fragile state are shoving her into it complete with a picture of her still dazed from the meds. That picture is what has me angrier.

I am hoping that Erin was indeed OK with posting about this. Perhaps she did tell Chad it was OK before she went in for the procedure. Who knows. It's too bad, she's gone through a lot in the last few months. Even if they weren't experiencing the issues speculated here, simply getting married and starting a new life is stressful even if things are going just swimmingly. And now she has the miscarriage.

But getting to the bolded: she might have been OK with Chad posting because it never would occur to her that she didn't have to if she didn't want to. Because her parents put her and her siblings into the life of living in a fishbowl and everything that goes on their lives is out there for public consumption, she might feel obligated to make this public even if she doesn't realize that feeling. Even if there's a little voice in there saying, "um, no".

[bal maiden]

Christ on a bike. All this judging about a bloody picture! So they made a slightly off judgement call when sharing their news? I made a LOT of bad judgement calls following my miscarriage as I was devastated and grieving, having just gone through the worst experience of my life; same with my husband. You don't think shit through properly when your world has just fallen through the floor... seriously people, cut them some slack!

[FrancineFishpaw]

Christ on a bike. All this judging about a bloody picture! So they made a slightly off judgement call when sharing their news? I made a LOT of bad judgement calls following my miscarriage as I was devastated and grieving, having just gone through the worst experience of my life; same with my husband. You don't think shit through properly when your world has just fallen through the floor... seriously people, cut them some slack!

Word.

[carebear]

I'm surprised at the honesty of the blog post.

[Dandruff]

I'm surprised at the honesty of the blog post.

Me too, and I'm feeling only sympathy for both of them. They lost their child. I doubt Chad would have posted the picture if he didn't believe it was OK with Erin.

[ThatSnark]

I'm very sad for Chad and Erin. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage as well, but just a few months later I became pregnant again and had a full-term healthy now-preteen.

The situation with Whitney being pregnant as well reminds me of a :shock: moment I had from my own mother. When my son was born, she hugged me and told me how glad she was that her first grandchild was from her own daughter (my brother had recently married; we're her only two children) -- I can't imagine that mattering, but apparently it did to her. I remember being very surprised.

[beautyandthefish]

Christ on a bike. All this judging about a bloody picture! So they made a slightly off judgement call when sharing their news? I made a LOT of bad judgement calls following my miscarriage as I was devastated and grieving, having just gone through the worst experience of my life; same with my husband. You don't think shit through properly when your world has just fallen through the floor... seriously people, cut them some slack!

:agree:

[FJismyheadship]

Does Kelly's history of miscarriages tie into her daughters ability to carry a child full term?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Does Kelly's history of miscarriages tie into her daughters ability to carry a child full term?

Statistically a lot of pregnancies end in early miscarriage, and I think Kelly only had four (I think) because the more pregnancies you have, the more likely it is that you will have one.