Ever Wonder What A Snozzberry Tasted Like?

[doggie]

This is just crazy.

http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/the- ... ens-movie/

One of the most beloved and oft-quoted moments in the ridiculously beloved and oft-quoted film Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is the sequence in which the unbalanced candymaker displays his newest invention: lickable wallpaper. As the children and their guardians go to town on the wallpaper, Wonka declares: "Lick an orange. It tastes like an orange. The strawberries taste like strawberries! The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!"

 

We laugh, because "snozzberries" is obviously a fanciful, fictional word, and nobody knows what they really were. Except that Roald Dahl, the book's author, knew exactly what snozzberries were: They're dicks. Snozzberries are dicks. Willy Wonka made those kids lick dick-flavored wallpaper.

 

It turns out the guy who thought a story about an insane recluse casually murdering a group of children had a pretty fucked up sense of humor.

 

In 1979, Dahl decided to revisit snozzberries in his adult novel My Uncle Oswald. The equally witty and disgusting story revolves around Oswald Hendryks Cornelius, the titular uncle and "greatest fornicator of all time." Along with his sexy accomplice Yasmin Howcomely, he devises a complicated get-rich-quick scheme that involves Howcomely seducing Europe's most famous men and then selling used condoms full of their spent semen to women wishing to birth famous progeny. Please take some time to remind yourself that this book was written by one of the world's most beloved children's authors.

 

The term "snozzberry" comes up when Yasmin Howcomely recounts her experience with George Bernard Shaw:

 

"How did you manage to roll the old rubbery thing on him?"

 

"There's only one way when they get violent," Yasmin said. "I grabbed hold of his snozzberry and hung onto it like grim death and gave it a twist or two to make him hold still."

 

"Ow."

 

"Very effective."

 

"I'll bet it is."

 

"You can lead them around anywhere you want like that."

 

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/the- ... z2laQae73y

[crazyforkate]

My Uncle Oswald is seriously the greatest thing ever. What's especially fun is when people assume Dahl only wrote children's books, and then they get a look at this...

[longskirtlotsakids]

I've read all of Dahl's short stories. Some of them are hilarious, others are horrifying, all are genius.

Of you learn of his childhood, you soon see why. One of his man jobs at boarding school was to go sit on the lavatories in the morning to warm them up for upperclassmen.

[laura oz]

I'm going to be in the minority here. I've never liked Dahl after the way he treated his wife Patricia O'Neil. I know the man was supposed to be an amazingly gifted writer, but I just can't get around the dick he was enough to try and enjoy his writing. Different strokes, I guess :shrug:

[treemom]

I'm going to be in the minority here. I've never liked Dahl after the way he treated his wife Patricia O'Neil. I know the man was supposed to be an amazingly gifted writer, but I just can't get around the dick he was enough to try and enjoy his writing. Different strokes, I guess :shrug:

I think it was less being a dick on purpose and more just being fucked up with grief. He became much more dickish after his baby was hit by a car and his daughter died. Patricia went on to have medical complications and sometimes that stress just ruins people. That doesn't excuse infidelity (although Patricia was the other woman to Gary Cooper in her younger days) or the fact he became what he did. But I think it offers insight.

Although I totally understand why you wouldn't read his books.

[laura oz]

I think it was less being a dick on purpose and more just being fucked up with grief. He became much more dickish after his baby was hit by a car and his daughter died. Patricia went on to have medical complications and sometimes that stress just ruins people. That doesn't excuse infidelity (although Patricia was the other woman to Gary Cooper in her younger days) or the fact he became what he did. But I think it offers insight.

Although I totally understand why you wouldn't read his books.

I remember reading her autobio about her affair with Coop. I can't remember if he waited until she was recovered from her stroke before he left, but I hope she was. I understand the grief, but he just didn't strike me as the nicest guy even before all the tragedies happened. Or, maybe I'm being "judgy". Pat wasn't an angel either, so maybe it was karma?

[crazyforkate]

I think it's more that everyone has some level of jerkdom in them. They both did some rotten things, had horrible things happen to them, and their marriage didn't survive. Personally, I love Dahl and Neal's work and will watch/read it forever.

[treemom]

I remember reading her autobio about her affair with Coop. I can't remember if he waited until she was recovered from her stroke before he left, but I hope she was. I understand the grief, but he just didn't strike me as the nicest guy even before all the tragedies happened. Or, maybe I'm being "judgy". Pat wasn't an angel either, so maybe it was karma?

He did wait until after that because they had another baby. She was pregnant when that happened.

He might not have been the nicest guy and he made some anti Semitic comments at one point but I think he got worse after his baby was hit by a car and another child died. Not an excuse at all.

[laura oz]

I knew he had a child that died, but didn't know the particulars. That's just so heartbreaking, and I can't imagine the grief and pain he and his wife went through. God, that's just sad & bound to have an effect on you. I still love Pats's movies (A Face in a Crowd) stands out in my memory, and Homecoming/Coming Home movie that was the pilot sort of for The Waltons in which she was supposed to play the mother. She was one hell of an actress. I like the old version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Wilder. It's a great movie & has Gene Wilder; ain't nothing wrong with that :D