Sunshine Mary's husband throws her under the bus

[Jana814]

Their marriage sounds weird. How long have they been married.

[dawbs]

he's a jackass for the callout.

He's also a jackass for not having the taxi take him to the hospital.

And the comment callout game they're playing is proof that these people should never ever ever give anyone relationship advice.

[2xx1xy1JD]

So this is where all that "be totally submissive so your marriage will be great" stuff leads.

Well, this is how ER visits have played out in my non-submissive marriage:

1. When I started bleeding during my first preg, the nurses helped me to call my husband. He was on call at another hospital, but had the chief resident cover his shift and literally ran over so that we went to the ultrasound together. We had planned to fly to a conference the next day where he had a research poster, but he cancelled the flight and arranged to send the poster down without him. He stayed by my side except for when I was actually in the OR.

2. When he told me that he had a bunch of floaters in his left eye, I told him that he needed to get to a doctor NOW, because it sounded like a retinal tear, and I took him. Later, when he needed to go to the hospital for laser surgery, I called my folks to have them watch the kids, and took him.

3. When that surgery didn't work, I made umpteen more trips with him to the hospital for more surgeries, check-ups and follow-up appointments, and arranged for help with the kids.

4. When I sliced open my finger just before a holiday meal, he took me to the ER. We let everyone finish eating without us.

5. When I got a call from him that he had collapsed at the gym, I dropped everything and rushed to pick him up and drive him to the ER, and stayed with him until he had his ECG and was admitted. I couldn't be there 24/7 because of the kids, but we did make frequent visits over the next few days.

Would I have rushed to his side so quickly if he had a "harem" of women? Maybe not - but having a secret death wish for your husband is a sucky way to live.

Do we criticize each other? Occasionally - behind closed doors. We'll have political debates in public, but NEVER attack each other personally.

[salex]

Maybe that's just part of their fun little relationship.

She tells a story that makes herself look good, he humiliates her in public. Maybe she will grovel next, or protest and get further beaten down.

Wild sex ensues.

:fubar:

I think that is accurate. I'm not listening to their mastubatory exchange, and I don't read their blog, just what shows up here. I suspect the "Grovel on your blog" bit is similar to Penthouse letters for them.. "Go out in public with no panties and your skirt hiked up" or some such.... blah blah blah.

[docmom]

Like Ken and Lori, I'm eternally grateful that SSM and HHG have each other. This way no innocents are hurt....

[Ms Jess]

Like Ken and Lori, I'm eternally grateful that SSM and HHG have each other. This way no innocents are hurt....

Well, except their children.

[Rescinded and Mended]

Having a knee that's all messed up from skiing is different from having a broken leg. You can get a ski injury and still be able to walk on the knee, even if it causes you extreme pain. If the leg was actually broken, I have a hard time believing that Ken would have even been able to hobble on it, much less drag all his ski gear into the house later that night. Sounds to me like Ken was exaggerating the injury to a greater degree to make Mary look bad.

I would want to be at the ER if my spouse had an injured/broken limb, but that's mainly because I, you know, actually like and respect my husband, even before loving him. I have no idea how Ken and Mary can honestly believe this sort of passive-aggressive internet bickering between them is a foundation for a solid marriage.

[nokidsmom]

If my husband called me needing to be taken to the ER, I would absolutely do it so don't see his request asking her to take him as unreasonable. Though yes, it would be inconvenient as far as the kids whether getting someone to watch them or having to take them, but going to the ER never is.

Their mutually humiliating each other is pretty disgusting and shows how little they respect each other. Pretty sad.

[blue_the_puppy]

In her comments she said she "apologized profusely" again to HHG for reacting the way she did after his accident. Wonder if HHG apologized profusely to her for calling her out?

He has edited his original comment a bit -- took out "Guess she edited that part of the story out of her post because it was too long."

[Angharad Crewe]

Yikes. There's a load of comments she and HHG left on her blog last night. She's confessed to being an awful wife b/c for reacting the way she did when he asked her to bring him to the ER.

What's really sad, heartbreaking actually, is that he made a recording of her asking for his forgiveness and posted it.

I didn't break the link since it bypasses her blog and takes you straight to the recording. They sound like two normal people. I expected her to sound shrill and him to sound gruff, but they don't.

A really morbid part of me wants to listen to me, but I don't want to participate in their little sexual foreplay. Ick.

[Peppercorn]

Blech. I was hoping she'd literally been thrown under a bus.

My dad once cut off his leg with a chain saw and glued it back one with tree sap.* He was a Real Man.

*okay, not exactly true, just the joke version of the time he deeply gashed his leg with a chain saw and packed it with tree sap to stop the bleeding so he could get back to work

[guidedbybobafett]

They're both so petty and pathetic, I love it. :lol:

[ems]

So wait, did he drive himself home so she could drive him to the ER? Why didn't he just go straight there?

And if he could take a taxi home, why not take a taxi there? An ambulance does seem a bit overkill for a broken leg.

Right, that's what I don't understand.

I mean, I could see him being like "honey, I'm going to the ER, will you meet me there?" and I can kind of understand him being upset if she didn't really believe he was injured. But if he was injured that badly, shouldn't he have gone straight to the ER? And if it was mild enough that he could drive, why wouldn't he drive himself there instead of going home and making wifey do it?

Oh, right, b/c he's an entitled jerk. I get the feeling he's exaggerating his injuries, though. And calling her out on her blog? Major dickwad move.

[Burris]

I don’t have a lot of sympathy for SSM: She has publicly humiliated her husband a few times on that blog of hers, under the pretence of honoring him and of instructing other women on how to do marriage correctly.

SSM is a passive-aggressive asshole whose philosophy – an admixture of Christianity and scraps from the pick-up artist subculture – allows her to play the martyr, and so much better than her feminist counterparts, even while beating her breast about what a terrible sinner she is. She panders to the most obnoxious sorts, men and women alike, and breezily dismisses legitimate complaints about her content by claiming any errors therein lie either with the feminist reader or are the fault of her female, sinful nature and thus not within her control. (See how she responds to her own husband’s complaint for an excellent example of the latter.)

Her husband is a philanderer who uses his wife’s ignorance and what I assume is her sexualize pleasure in being humiliated that he might keep a spouse for a long time without having to do any of the work usually required to maintain a marriage through many years.

Maybe the price he has to pay for this ‘freedom’ – ongoing humiliation at the hands of a woman who blabbers incessantly about how submissive she is even while courting a throng of male fans – is getting to be a little much even for him.

…or maybe this is merely their porn.

[Ari]

In her comments she said she "apologized profusely" again to HHG for reacting the way she did after his accident. Wonder if HHG apologized profusely to her for calling her out?

He has edited his original comment a bit -- took out "Guess she edited that part of the story out of her post because it was too long."

Well, of course he took that part out. It's smarmy and sarcastic passive-aggressive. I'd never add in a line like that unless I was in an argument with someone I had absolutely no respect for... like not even the basic respect you give to total strangers.

With that line gone, SSM can play that they're a loving couple just making some cute digs at each other, rather than two people in desperate trouble. She probably begged him to take that part out.

That's he reason I don't buy this "the blog is a public humiliation fantasy" thing. SSM is trying to control her image too tightly. She desperately wants to be seen as the woman who caught the sexy alpha male husband by becoming a submissive MRA, when it's obvious even to superfans like Elspeth that her husband is simply a massive douche and the marriage is terrible.

I can't believe I actually feel sorry for her :?

[Ari]

Oh, and that's another thing about her image that SSM is trying and failing to control: she constantly talks about HHG's misbehavior like he's some kind of lone-wolf macho guy who just can't be tamed because he's so manly, which a lot of women find sexy (whether or not they agree that it's husband material). Like, she wants us to think that maybe HHG is an asshole, but at least he's a sexy badboy asshole, like something out of an old Clint Eastwood movie or something.

But then this happens, and it turns out that he's not a bad boy, he's a whiny little bitch. It's not just asshole-ish, it's asshole-ish in a way that is kryptonite for female desire. Who desires a man who whines to everyone about how his wife didn't drive him to the ER after a non-serious skiing injury? Can you imagine the hero in a cowboy movie doing that?

[Sobeknofret]

My dad broke his shoulder (parachuting, he was in the Army, yadayadayada...). He repacked his chute, took it back to the armory, got his CO to take him to the hospital, where they confirmed it was broken, gave him a sling and pain meds, and then *stopped at the grocery store* on the way home to pick up some beer and groceries for the burrito supper he and mom were throwing for the guys in his unit and their families that same night. And my mother's first inkling that he was injured was when he walked in the front door. Although my mother blew a cork at him for not telling her immediately, she did it in private.

Suck on that HHG and SSM. :disgust:

[snuggles911]

In her comments she said she "apologized profusely" again to HHG for reacting the way she did after his accident. Wonder if HHG apologized profusely to her for calling her out?

He has edited his original comment a bit -- took out "Guess she edited that part of the story out of her post because it was too long."

I wonder if he apologized profusely for cheating on her 30 times. If he's going to bring up her past mistakes, maybe she should bring up his. And, in the unlikely event that HHG does apologize, I think she should record it and put it on her blog, just as he did with her apology yesterday.

Sadly, I agree with the comment that said he probably gets off on humiliating her. Yesterday, she put a comment up about how women talk too much. She said that when she talks for too long he asks her, 'Isn't there anything more useful you could be doing with your mouth?" She didn't seem to realize what a jerk he is for saying something like that to her.

I looked for the comment just now, but couldn't find it. Maybe he made her take it down.

[Trynn]

I don't blame him for not calling an ambulance. They are very expensive, especially since a lot of fundies don't have insurance. That and, depending, a county may have a limited number of ems personnel on duty, so I wouldn't use one unless I thought I was dying.

When I had appendicitis, I took the BUS to the hospital. (Actually I wouldn't blame someone for calling an ambulance in that case, as that can be pretty serious). I actually did have someone offer to drive me but I didn't want to inconvenience her.

If this guy was already driving, I see no problem with making him drive himself to the ER, and meeting him there, if I could.

If my leg was that injured, I also would leave my ski gear in the car and ask someone else to remove it.

[miffy]

I don't blame him for not calling an ambulance. They are very expensive, especially since a lot of fundies don't have insurance. That and, depending, a county may have a limited number of ems personnel on duty, so I wouldn't use one unless I thought I was dying.

When I had appendicitis, I took the BUS to the hospital. (Actually I wouldn't blame someone for calling an ambulance in that case, as that can be pretty serious). I actually did have someone offer to drive me but I didn't want to inconvenience her.

If this guy was already driving, I see no problem with making him drive himself to the ER, and meeting him there, if I could.

If my leg was that injured, I also would leave my ski gear in the car and ask someone else to remove it.

He's a very senior murse at a university hospital. He would have insurance.

[guidedbybobafett]

I'm sorry, but I'm getting a super-creepy, porny vibe from this. And if it's not their idea of sexual fantasy made blog, it's certainly a lot of peoples. If I have been inadvertently made privy to SSM's sex life I am straight going to barf.

[Peppercorn]

She said that when she talks for too long he asks her, 'Isn't there anything more useful you could be doing with your mouth?"

I just threw up a little in my mouth. Make that a lot.

Porny vibe, for sure.

And now I shall click the 'Submit' button in honor of poor deluded SSM....

[JesusFightClub]

Well HHG, that was utterly fucking stupid.

I broke my ankle and surrounding bones fairly dramatically in a twist injury. I could not put even the slightest pressure on it and lo, an ambulance was called.

You, however, had sustained an injury to your leg you weren't quite sure about (it didn't prevent you driving). You decided it was more important, not to head straight to A&E, but to drive home in order to pester your wife (who had just put your children to bed) to take you to A&E instead, for whatever motives of your own.

There was a simple way to get past this:

1. Sustain injury. Ouch!

2. Test leg gingerly, decide can drive. Head off to A&E.

3. Upon arrival at A&E, go through triage. Doctor decides leg is broken. You ask doctor if it is OK to make phone call to let SSM know where you are. Doc says either "Yes, go for it" or "No, but I'll get someone to make the call for you."

4. Leg is fixed. Go to sleep.

5. While this is happening, SSM sorts out childcare arrangements and comes to see you at the hospital.

Do it right next time.

[Pam]

Well HHG, that was utterly fucking stupid.

I broke my ankle and surrounding bones fairly dramatically in a twist injury. I could not put even the slightest pressure on it and lo, an ambulance was called.

You, however, had sustained an injury to your leg you weren't quite sure about (it didn't prevent you driving). You decided it was more important, not to head straight to A&E, but to drive home in order to pester your wife (who had just put your children to bed) to take you to A&E instead, for whatever motives of your own.

I know, that's what struck me, also....HHG was going to be able to manage to get himself home, whether he was driving or someone at the ski hill area was going to drive him, but unable to get himself to the Emerg from the ski hill area. But, yeah, SSM was the selfish one for not wanting to wake their 6 children and get them all bundled up and ready to go spend a number of hours at the Emerg. or, perhaps, at the home of family/friends, disrupting their immediate plans for that day/evening. :confusion-scratchheadyellow:

[GolightlyGrrl]

What I infer from SSM's blog is that she and the HHG barely even like each other let alone love each other. Yet, somehow they totally connect in the sack. I bet they have a lot of hate sex.