OT: Question about Munchausen by Internet

[justakitten]

Hi all,

I apologize if this is in the wrong forum- if so, please tell me and I'll move it. I need advice on how to deal with someone who is suspected of Munchausen online/habitual lying.

Quick backstory: I and about a dozen other people met online in a Craigslist forum because we were all pregnant, had child(ren), and now are FB friends and have a group there. We've known each other over five years. The past couple years one member started having bad luck, an occasional illness or thing here and there. The past year it's become WAY more frequent. She's had cancer scares (two separate), a physical attack, car accident, 24 hour coma, and arrest (the accident, coma, and arrest were supposedly in the last week).

The rest of us figured out that she was lying (messed up on dates, PM'ed different people different stories). We have removed her from the group, but on her FB page she validates that she is telling the truth and posted pictures of a hospital bracelet and other forms to "validate" her stories.

My question- do we confront her? Take any other actions? We have told her that she needed help on the group page, then removed her. Thank you in advance for any advice!

[fullmetalheart]

If you confront her, she'll backpedal and come up with excuses for her story. The meds made her mess up the dates, she was sick and having trouble remembering, etc and no good will come out of it (the same thing has happened with another friend of mine in another group of mine). Confronting will just make her lash out and create a huge clusterfuck.

[justakitten]

Thank you, fullmetalheart! Are we in the same group by chance? LOL. For now we are just ignoring her posts (which she randomly deletes). I know Razing Ruth was recently outed, but I haven't had chance to read all the posts and dialogue of what happened.

[fullmetalheart]

Ha, that would be hysterical if we were! I would just ignore her for now, but keep notes of what she posts.

[Jana814]

I would ignore it as well. I have an ex-friend from HS who used to say she was abused. Turned out it was not true & when she would bring it up (which was often espically when she felt she was not getting enough attaction from people) I would ignore her also.

[justakitten]

Thanks Jana- that's what we will try to do (it's so hard not to post "LIAR" on her FB though, but I know it won't help at this point). Fullmetalheart- did this happen recently to you? (In the last couple days)

[Jana814]

Thanks Jana- that's what we will try to do (it's so hard not to post "LIAR" on her FB though, but I know it won't help at this point).

No problem!! It was a weird situcation w/ the other girl cause EVERYONE!!! knew it was not true. Sounds like wat u discurbed that this woman wants sympothy.

[Minerva]

I agree that you should ignore her. These people feed off attention. I have to ask, though, why not go all the way and cut ties altogether?

[Jana814]

I agree that you should ignore her. These people feed off attention. I have to ask, though, why not go all the way and cut ties altogether?

Agree!!

[fullmetalheart]

Not super recently, no. She's still posting lies on her facebook that can easily be debunked (most recent one was just tonight) and it would be so easy to just call her out, but the problem is many people believe her. And that would be the other problem with calling someone like that out on her Facebook and calling her a liar there: I'm guessing there are people that still believe her, and so it would create a massive crapfest.

[Cran]

If you really feel the need to protect other people from her lies, I think you/the group shouldn't try to confront her, it will do no good, but put up a message or a webpage where just the facts are stated (dates do not match etc.), truth-about-ruth-style.

[lizziesmom]

IMO it's almost impossible to win an internet war with a liar. I would ignore her and remove her as a friend from any social media.

[fullmetalheart]

She isn't soliciting donations or anything, correct?

[RosyDaisy]

Unless she is scamming people out of their money or has committed a crime, leave her alone. People like that crave attention, even the negative kind. Don't feed that.