Lori Alexander giving out financial advice based on Bible

[lilwriter85]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/10/financial-stability-before-marriage.html

Should a couple be financially stable before marriage? Do you realize how many couples in the history of the world were not financially stable when they got married? How come we think all our little ducks need to be in order before marriage? Are all our little ducks ever really in order?

Suppose a couple wants to get married but the man is just beginning medical school, like my parents, should they wait until he is a doctor to get married? I don't think so. He is getting a good education in order to support a family.

If a man has no ambition, no job, and isn't pursuing an education, then I don't think they should get married unless the wife doesn't care if her husband doesn't work hard and she lives on very little or has to get a job herself.

God is ultimately our provider. No matter how much money you have in the bank, what kind of a job you have, and the home you live in, it can all be taken away quickly. We have no security in this world. We live in a very insecure world. This is why we must put all of our hope in God.

We must not make rules for couples to follow that are not in the Bible. God tells us to marry a believer and that it is better to marry than to burn. Sure, most couples have to make sacrifices for the early years of marriage but sacrifice is not a bad thing. Hard times help us to become stronger and depend upon the Lord more.

My parents lived in a condemned building for awhile but my mom always made wherever they lived a home. It is not our circumstances that make us happy and content, it is a thankful attitude and a dependence on the Lord to provide.

Our society tells young people they must be financially stable before marriage. The Bible doesn't say that anywhere. It does say than the men need to be hard workers and provide for their families and the women need to be hard workers at home. As long as you are willing to work hard and sacrifice, you can marry even when you are not financially secure and watch how the Lord provides for you.

[sparkles]

I don't think it will take very long before god has enough of these leeches and sends down a message from on high that basically says "Go out and get an education and decent job so you can provide for your families, you lazy fuckers! I'm tapped out."

[kpmom]

What's with Lori and these "go ahead and get married even if you're not established" posts lately? Is one of her unmarried kids living in sin or something?

[2xx1xy1JD]

Oh, a fun topic!

Unlike Lori who just heard stories from her parents, I actually DID marry my husband while he was a med student.

I'll agree with her that it's not always necessary to have perfect financial security before you marry, if you are clearly on a path that will get you there. [Yes, I know it's shocking that Lori and I would every agree on anything....but keep reading.]

Here's what it involved:

I guess I made our apartment a home, whatever that means. I remember putting together an IKEA table. The main thing that I did was pay the rent, since my husband was so consumed with med school that holding down a job was impossible. It was my job that paid for the little things in life, like rent and food.

I'm not sure how Lori thinks it's possible for a wife to stay at home if her husband is a full-time student.

We had it easier than couples today would have it, because tuition fees were much lower in Ontario back then. Since I never paid more than $2,500 per year for law school, I was able to start our marriage with no student debt. My husband's tuition for med school was $5,000, which we paid from the wedding gift money. When it came time to repay his student loans, a portion of it was forgiven under the student assistance programs at the time. Low tuition and student grants require funding of evil secular universities by the evil government.

While I just managed to scrape together the rent every month, there was no way that we could have managed to have a baby in the first couple of years. We needed my income to survive, and his program barely allowed him time to sleep. Luckily, I had access to reliable evil birth control.

Like I said, medical residency programs are notorious for their workload. My husband worked 80-100 hours/week, including a 30 hour shift every 3 days. Workloads used to be worse, but the residents were organized into a - gasp! - union.

When I did get pregnant during his residency, we didn't worry about medical bills. Between the evil universal medicare and the benefits from the resident's union, we paid nothing out of pocket.

Our landlord couldn't kick us out of the apartment when we had the baby, because laws here don't allow building to discriminate on the basis of age or family status.

I was able to get support as a new mom from the local public health department, which ran programs at the local community centre. Lori would have run screaming from it and called it a house of sodomites (http://www.the519.org/ to see the center's website).

My husband was able to take paid parental leave for 3 months. He happily compromised his manhood by changing diapers and going to play groups while I had time to find a contract position and go back to work.

I took that contract position and put the baby in evil daycare, because medical residents were not paid enough to support a family.

[lilwriter85]

Oh, a fun topic!

Unlike Lori who just heard stories from her parents, I actually DID marry my husband while he was a med student.

I'll agree with her that it's not always necessary to have perfect financial security before you marry, if you are clearly on a path that will get you there. [Yes, I know it's shocking that Lori and I would every agree on anything....but keep reading.]

Here's what it involved:

I guess I made our apartment a home, whatever that means. I remember putting together an IKEA table. The main thing that I did was pay the rent, since my husband was so consumed with med school that holding down a job was impossible. It was my job that paid for the little things in life, like rent and food.

I'm not sure how Lori thinks it's possible for a wife to stay at home if her husband is a full-time student.

We had it easier than couples today would have it, because tuition fees were much lower in Ontario back then. Since I never paid more than $2,500 per year for law school, I was able to start our marriage with no student debt. My husband's tuition for med school was $5,000, which we paid from the wedding gift money. When it came time to repay his student loans, a portion of it was forgiven under the student assistance programs at the time. Low tuition and student grants require funding of evil secular universities by the evil government.

While I just managed to scrape together the rent every month, there was no way that we could have managed to have a baby in the first couple of years. We needed my income to survive, and his program barely allowed him time to sleep. Luckily, I had access to reliable evil birth control.

Like I said, medical residency programs are notorious for their workload. My husband worked 80-100 hours/week, including a 30 hour shift every 3 days. Workloads used to be worse, but the residents were organized into a - gasp! - union.

When I did get pregnant during his residency, we didn't worry about medical bills. Between the evil universal medicare and the benefits from the resident's union, we paid nothing out of pocket.

Our landlord couldn't kick us out of the apartment when we had the baby, because laws here don't allow building to discriminate on the basis of age or family status.

I was able to get support as a new mom from the local public health department, which ran programs at the local community centre. Lori would have run screaming from it and called it a house of sodomites (http://www.the519.org/ to see the center's website).

My husband was able to take paid parental leave for 3 months. He happily compromised his manhood by changing diapers and going to play groups while I had time to find a contract position and go back to work.

I took that contract position and put the baby in evil daycare, because medical residents were not paid enough to support a family.

I agree that isn't always needed to start a marriage with perfect financial security. But I think Lori's advice is dangerous for other reasons like the whole "women stay at home while men work". I give you and husband a lot of credit for making it through. I know other people who went through similar experiences in which one spouse works while the other attends grad school, law school, med school etc. But Lori would hate the idea of a woman working outside the home or putting children in evil daycare.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Exactly. Something's gotta give - you can't have early marriage AND no birth control AND no working women AND no government benefits AND live independently from parents.

[rward]

Exactly. Something's gotta give - you can't have early marriage AND no birth control AND no working women AND no government benefits AND live independently from parents.

I'm pretty sure Lori promotes the parents supporting the married couple fully while the husband goes to school and the wife pops out a baby every year. How the average quiverfull family is supposed to manage that when they can't support their own kids, I don't know.

[lilwriter85]

I'm pretty sure Lori promotes the parents supporting the married couple fully while the husband goes to school and the wife pops out a baby every year. How the average quiverfull family is supposed to manage that when they can't support their own kids, I don't know.

Yup that was Lori. I recall she posted that last week. I think Lori doesn't think before she spouts off crappy advice. I think it is fine for parents to help their adult children and families when things like job loss, health problems, etc occur. But not many people could afford to support their adult children and their families for years. Lori lives differently from many of her fundie fans. She grew up in a smaller family and she only had 4 kids. She has stated that she didn't have more kids due to health problems.

[dilannsmom]

Lori's own words in a reply to a comment:

My parents helped us out when we were newly married and they are still generous with us

So, Lori Alexander is a Monster lives in "la-la-land." Not every family is in the position, or is willing, to support grown married couples. AND, many married couples would be unwilling to take money from the parents...I'm not married, my man and I live in sin and fornicate regularly. I would not be willing to take money from my parents (barring a life threatening emergency) so that I could get married, presumably just so I could have sex. WTF?

Hey Lori--taking money from your parents when you are married is a sign that you were NOT READY to get married.

(dumb butt) :kiss-ass:

(edited cuz my smiley didn't work right)

[GolightlyGrrl]

God: It's the fundies' ATM

[dairyfreelife]

What's with Lori and these "go ahead and get married even if you're not established" posts lately? Is one of her unmarried kids living in sin or something?

:twisted:

[patsymae]

Admittedly I'm not a Christian scholar. But when Jesus instructed his disciples to leave their wives and children to follow him, how does that translate into a 21st-century dictate about men dominating women?

[slickcat79]

My parents lived in a condemned building for awhile but my mom always made wherever they lived a home. It is not our circumstances that make us happy and content, it is a thankful attitude and a dependence on the Lord to provide.

Yeah, there's a good recommendation :shock: If one of Lori's siblings had died from eating lead paint or playing with exposed wires or a building collapse, I wonder if she'd say the same? Luck is frequently a factor, and just because something worked for you doesn't really make it a guideline for the rest of the world.

[quincygal]

Oh good timing!

Dear Lori-

Headship & I have been examining our bills & trying to cut back where we can, and we trying to switch our cell plans around. Headship has said that the lord laid it upon his heart that he needs a really expensive new iphone. I feel that the Lord, through prayer, has told me headship needs a much less expensive phone, a phone more befitting of a man who rarely uses it or even knows where he phone is almost all the time.

What does the Bible say I should do??????

[lilwriter85]

Yeah, there's a good recommendation :shock: If one of Lori's siblings had died from eating lead paint or playing with exposed wires or a building collapse, I wonder if she'd say the same? Luck is frequently a factor, and just because something worked for you doesn't really make it a guideline for the rest of the world.

The part about the condemned building made me wonder too. I get the feeling that Lori has never known truly hard times. She admitted that her parents helped her and Ken out in the beginning. Lori probably doesn't know the complete condition of the condemned building her parents lived in.