Single mothers, OMG

[JesusFightClub]

I think this is a very interesting post.

I recognize them as a threat, and it won’t take all that long before people figure out that JBs kids do not go over to the homes of kids who have single mothers

judgybitch.com/2013/09/24/what-hell-is-this-the-brave-new-world-we-have-bequeathed-our-children-is-more-frightening-than-i-imagined-and-the-remedy-is-gonna-make-me-one-of-the-most-hated-moms-on-the-block-boo-fucking-hoo/

I dunno. My nieces have a single dad. He's supposed to be SOOO BRAVE and SOOOO MANLY and the woman in the picture is usually insulted as a nasty bitch by people who don't know the circumstances.

He's said to me "It's weird that women don't get respect for bringing up kids alone. It's difficult...."

No-one would be scared off a dad bringing up kids as a single parent. They're brave and selfless. A woman, bringing up kids as a single parent, is a slut. :doh:

[anjulibai]

Yes, because all of that crap doesn't go on in the homes of married parents, including ones with a SAHM.

[lexiloumarie]

I was raised by a single mother before she remarried, and yes at the time she was a young, not well off single mom. I just can't with that lady's holier than thou bullshit.

[ILoveJellybeans]

What JB doesnt realise, is that single mothers arent all "sluts" who dont know who the fathers of their children are. She could easily end up as a single mother. What would she do if her husband left her or died, give the kids up for adoption?

Yes, it is terrible that this young girl got naked on webcam for internet strangers, and the girl's mother should supervise her better, but it isnt something that happens only with single mothers. There are many kids who are sexting or having adult conversations with internet strangers, or getting groomed by pedophiles who are in all kinds of families, whether theyve got both a mom and dad, two same sex parents, a single mom, single dad, living with a parent and step parent, living with other people who arent their parents. The problem here is that this girl's mom didnt supervise her child properly, and didnt teach her about internet safety, which could easily happen if there were two parents.

[anjulibai]

My mom was a single mom, too. She divorced my dad for abuse. But I'm guessing JB would think my mom just wasn't a good enough housewife or something to cause that.

[Arete]

I think this is a very interesting post.

judgybitch.com/2013/09/24/what-hell-is-this-the-brave-new-world-we-have-bequeathed-our-children-is-more-frightening-than-i-imagined-and-the-remedy-is-gonna-make-me-one-of-the-most-hated-moms-on-the-block-boo-fucking-hoo/

I dunno. My nieces have a single dad. He's supposed to be SOOO BRAVE and SOOOO MANLY and the woman in the picture is usually insulted as a nasty bitch by people who don't know the circumstances.

He's said to me "It's weird that women don't get respect for bringing up kids alone. It's difficult...."

No-one would be scared off a dad bringing up kids as a single parent. They're brave and selfless. A woman, bringing up kids as a single parent, is a slut. :doh:

Your wrong there, JFC. At least you would have been in the 70s. There were definitely 2 homes in the neighborhood we were blacklisted from for the sin of being brought up by a single father. It was also openly understood that at least one if not all of us would become prostitutes because we lacked a maternal presence in the home (this was the 70s, people didn't believe in sparing their children their opinions, and their children did not spare us these reports). Actually, quite a few people felt he was a selfish prick for not making acquiring a stepmother for us a priority. "He's a man! What does he know about raising girls, he'll be too busy chasing girlfriends!" People of judgybitch's ilk are scared of anyone who does anything differently and without apology to society. The numbers skew to single mother as opposed to single father households, so bitchy probably hasn't had her neighborhood marred by a single father household, but if she did the future hooker/ teenage mother comments would not be far behind.

I'm glad Small and Smaller's father is getting some credit for raising his family. ALL single parents should get such credit, but then people don't like reminders right in their neighborhood on how badly things can go wrong.

[discordia]

Ugh. I have known two single mothers and both became single because the guy they thought loved them abandoned them as soon as they became pregnant. One of them is still single and works as a nurse and the other is my now sister in law. They are both wonderful parents who love their kids....Judgy bitch and people who act like single mothers are destroying society can go hug a cactus

[Sumeri]

Miserable bitch.

I was raised by a single mother (who was also, unfortunately, mentally ill - but that didn't have a thing to do with the fact that MY FATHER FUCKING DIED). I was a single mom, for many, many years. Thank goodness for me I lived in Chicago when my son was small and the VAST majority of my friends were single - some by choice, some not.

Plus, I don't believe her internet story. It's too conveniently crafted - what, this otherwise intelligent girl sends her slutty mother off on errands and off come the clothes with a new friend over so she can parade all nude on the internet? WTF. I call bullshit.

Here's something I do find interesting though, JFC - along with your original post. I was engaged when my son was little, to a man that was not his father, I met him when son was three. By then we lived in a much more conservative area - but thank sweet baby Jesus nothing like the area Judgy Bitch and her minions inhabit - and I ran into a lot of raised eyebrows about the fact that I was single and had "snagged" a good, local man. Seems I was looking for a meal ticket or something, even though I owned the house we lived in, worked more than he did, etc.

As it happened, fiancé died very suddenly when my son was 7, and all of a sudden I wasn't viewed as a single mom anymore. It was as though his dying put me in widow territory, and my son and I were viewed with sympathy instead of suspicion.

I read a comment in that awful post where old JB says "WIDOWS ARE NOT SINGLE MOMS" and it reminded me of that. Very strange.

[Feberin]

I was raised by a single father who gave us a lot of freedom. I never danced naked on a web cam but I did go onto AOL kids chat rooms and get propositioned for sex when I was 12. Of course my reaction was to report the creep. I don't see this issue as one about single parents but one about need to teach your children to stand up for themselves and not give in to peer pressure. Also I don't think the single mother did anything wrong. In my opinion most twelve year olds should be mature enough to stay at home alone since by thirteen many girls are babysitting (I was) and responsible for other people's children. I am a little miffed that the single mother didn't care that her daughter was dancing naked on her webcam but I don't see anything wrong with leaving a couple twelve year olds alone while you run to the store. Of course if it was somebody else's twelve year old I would check first especially if their mother was a judgy bitch.

[ThisOlGirl]

Do all these stories that JB, Shitstain, Lori, etc. tell seem to be getting less and less believable? It just seems like lately, with every anecdote I read by one of these bloggers I end up thinking "nope, didn't happen".

[Miss M]

This whole thing makes me so horribly sad, I was raised by a single Mother, as were my two siblings, why, because my FATHER ditched, went to another state and changed his name when my youngest brother was about a year old.

[Miggy]

Sorry JB but you undermine your own argument when your stories are so unbelievable.

[YPestis]

It's nice that there are some people so Christian they refuse to mix with people that don't meet their high moral standards. I'm sure that's exactly how Jesus acted. Their kids will come away thinking that a good Christian must live a pristine life, and that any mistakes (real or imaginary) will turn you into an instant pariah, so better not make a mistake!

[bananacat]

What JB doesnt realise, is that single mothers arent all "sluts" who dont know who the fathers of their children are. She could easily end up as a single mother. What would she do if her husband left her or died, give the kids up for adoption?

I know you mean well, but this type of reasoning isn't actually helpful. Even if a single mom is a "slut", it's still completely reprehensible to dislike her for being a single mom. The problem here is JB's hateful views, not that she incorrectly labeled certain people as sluts. Even the stereotype of the single mother who got knocked up at 17 doesn't deserve to be treated this way.

[Full enough quiver]

I was a single mom until my daughter was 7, and my stepdaughter's mom died when she was 6, so hubby raised her alone for 3 years. They are now 12 and 15, and everyone we know is constantly telling us how perfect they are, and what good influences they are on other kids. They are kind, obedient, smart, and honest. My sister's boys have been with us the last few months (she actually is a pretty crappy single mother who doesn't know who their fathers are and neglected them shamefully) and, I won't lie, their behavior needs work, but they are generally good, loving little boys. I had married parents, and my oldest sister is divorced, I got pregnant at 14, my younger sister is an addict who abandoned her children, the twins were both addicts (one is clean now, one committed suicide two years ago). Married parents does not guarantee your kids turning out ok. I wouldn't let my precious angels anywhere near JB's brats. I'd be worried they'd be a bad influence.

[tralala]

I grew up in a single parent home. It was a home of love and nurturing, and that was possible due to the love and support my mother received from her church family. They did not shun her for something beyond her control, they did not become a crutch for her. They simply loved and showed compassion and kindness. And you know what? I truly believe thats what made the difference. People who stand up on their high horses do not give a shit about the family or the children involved in such cases. It's hard being a single parent, but I imagine its worse being legally bound to a toxic relationship.

[RachelB]

My mom and her two brothers were raised by their mother-- their dad died when my mother was 11.

I have mixed feelings about that particular grandmother. On the one hand, she did the best she could. She got factory work and kept her kids fed, clothed, and housed. And she insisted that my mom expect to work in adulthood, that she learn to do something that would enable her to take care of herself. On the other hand, my mom's mother, when she said, "learn a trade," meant teaching or secretarial work. She didn't expect or want a daughter who would do ordained ministry, which she saw as men's work. She favored her sons. The year that my grandfather died, my mom missed a lot of school-- not because my mom didn't want to go to school, but because if any logistical thing needed doing during the work day (like a package needed signing for), my mom was expected to stay home and deal with it. Her brothers were expected to prioritize their schoolwork.

I think my grandmother was caught between the values of the patriarchal culture in which she had been raised and her very real knowledge of what happens when you don't have much education or training and your spouse dies young.

My mom's feminism, and to some extent my own, are reactions not so much to my grandmother going off to work as to my grandmother insisting on relatively rigid gender categories that clearly don't always work.

[JesusFightClub]

I'm glad Small and Smaller's father is getting some credit for raising his family. ALL single parents should get such credit, but then people don't like reminders right in their neighborhood on how badly things can go wrong.

A very good point, AreteJo. Fear of single parents is probably a large dollop of "OHSHITWHATIFTHATWASME".

Let's face it, JB's man runs around on her (or did) and she's probably trying very hard to justify staying. So parents who didn't stay with an unsatisfactory partner (we don't know this woman's circumstances but I am guessing) are anathema to her, as they represent a choice she didn't make.

I was sorry to hear people were an arse (arses?) to you, as well. S&S haven't really encountered that, but when they lost their mum, a lot of people thought they would go into care because DADS DON'T LOOK AFTER CHILDREN AMIRITE. Or that my mum would take them (sorry, she has a full time job which involves a lot of travelling, but women are supposed to drop everything when there are kids around). Or that I would take them (you fucking what). So Bro gets an extra helping of "SO BRAVE" for doing what, as he puts it in a puzzled way "any dad would do, surely. I mean, they're my daughters for fuck's sake". :roll:

Anjulibai, I am willing to bet good money JB would think your mum had been brainwashed by the ebil feminists and that your dad was a lovely man, just misunderstood. Women like her have been making excuses for violent men since the dawn of time.

Sumeri, those people sound super judgemental! It's like something out of the 19th century. Surely they ought to be happy he met a good person, rather than be all "Oh fuck! An outsider stole one of our men!" :shock: I seriously thought that attitude was left back in the Elsie books.

[guidedbybobafett]

I know I will catch hell for this in my actual, lived reality, but one inescapable conclusion that I have come to is that children of single mothers have giant red stop-signs over their heads when it comes to interacting with my kids.

Is she one of the homeschooling ones? Because she's clearly unsure of causation vs. correlation and I wouldn't trust her to teach anyone over the age of 6.

I personally do not plan on allowing my kids to have their own computers until they are much, much older than 12, but who knows how this will go with the integration of technology into every day life. My children will undoubtedly have cell phones, and I can't imagine that the tablet as a "necessary" accessory is far behind. However, the dangers of the internet are a very important thing for parents to think about. This idiot just doesn't realize that being a single mother has NOTHING to do with it.

[Whipple]

Good point Guidedby. Another fundie giving her kiddos a life-limiting substandard "education."

BTW, I raised my DS for the last ten years as a single mom and it was hard. But I was "all in" and he turned out great. Anyway, I try not to be judgy, but I was at my judgy-bitchiest when I was trying to save the doomed marriage. So it could be that a lot of this is misery turned outward just like as with me. I didn't think people tried hard enough with their marriages and relationships. Boy was I deluded. It's not a perfect world and sometimes it is better for the parents to be apart. In my case mental illness was involved (that came out later) and my son thanked me regularly for getting him out of the situation and protecting him from more psychological harm at the hands of his ill father. JB needs to know that if I hadn't gotten out, DS would not be at a top college, he would have barely graduated high school and I may have needed to have him hospitalized a couple of times at least because of the trauma he would have endured. I guess JB could say that I made a bad choice of a mate but to be honest, what if he had been selected for me? A lot of these fundies are marrying at 18-20 before mental illness rears its ugly head. And with 3% of the population being affected with some sort of psychosis and fundies not being immune and all, it's bound to happen. It may even happen at a higher incidence in fundie-land because they are so tightly wound (genetics), marry early, have a ton of kids (stress), are often poor, don't have good insurance, and refuse help.

In the case of fundies, I've come to the conclusion for almost all of them, the chickens have yet to come home to their roosting-place. This level of extremism cannot sustain itself. The more judgy they are, it seems the more they have to hide and the more crazy-dysfunctional their lives are. I'm not posting as often because it is so sad to watch this happen to their 9000 kids. I guess this is why RR was so popular. People want to hear from the escapees after reading about the prisoners. Sorry for the ramble.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I know you mean well, but this type of reasoning isn't actually helpful. Even if a single mom is a "slut", it's still completely reprehensible to dislike her for being a single mom. The problem here is JB's hateful views, not that she incorrectly labeled certain people as sluts. Even the stereotype of the single mother who got knocked up at 17 doesn't deserve to be treated this way.

Yeah, true, there are plenty of single mothers out there who did get pregnant through casual sex and are loving, responsible mothers who look after their children and wouldnt want them getting naked on webcam.

Im sorry it came across in a bad way.

[lilah]

the logical fails astound me. You hear one story about a single parent making lousy parenting choices, therefore all single parents are bad. Or zsu had one bad experience with a church nursery at a seriously fucked up church therefore all daycares are the tool of satan.

[Arete]

FFS, is bitchy really making an argument that kids with married parents do not get naked and broadcast for webcams? Because I for one think the only far fetched aspect of bitchy's story is that it was supposedly done with parental approval and they were dancing "for men". Teens test boundaries all the time. The technology may be different now, but teens have been testing boundaries since they realized they could do really cool things with opposable thumbs. So when I was growing up, some of the kids from upstanding 2 parent families were playing "Truth or Dare" in groups in the woods, with dares costing articles of clothing. There were the upstanding young men taking and developing pictures of their penises, and the upstanding young women plus me a future hooker of America looking and giggling at pictures. Then there were all the upstanding Saturday in the woods pot smokers who were also the Sunday at Mass kids with mom and dad. I'm guessing if any of this happened, it was the girls dancing for some male classmates, and not random adult men. Why? Because even SINGLE parents protect their children from adult predators.

So she can go ahead and put the scarlett "S" on the kids with the single mothers, her pious little souls will find one way or another for a little rebellion. The good news is, despite the stripping, creative photography, MaryJane hazes and generalized hooking up, the kids will most likely be all right. It's having people like JB as a parent that really screws kids, not watching their peers dance naked.

[fundiefan]

Typical fundie BS - taking a story to its most extreme because no one will ever be able to tell you're talking out of your ass! This is true, dammit, and it proves my point. Blah, blah, blah. Just like those who were in the occult and sluts before being saved. All the same story, to the most extreme it can be, and oh, joy, Jesus has saved them from their darkness.

As the child of a single mother, I say shut the fuck up, bitch. You have no idea what you're talking about and your ugly imagination is getting the better of you.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

FFS, is bitchy really making an argument that kids with married parents do not get naked and broadcast for webcams? .

Maybe I should make a post about how my children aren't allowed to go to houses where there are married parents. Those people with partners could be SWINGERS! Ive heard all about how couples *disgusted cough* have sex with other couples. I just don't want my kids around that sort of thing.