A Bounty of Botkinette Bloviation!

[Marian the Librarian]

Ladies, I direct your attention to "The Top 10 Things Girls Should Study (But Rarely Do)" - a ginormous wall o' text, in which A-S and E drop lots of impressive phrases like "supralapsarianism vs. infralapsarianism," and tell all the "girls" out there in homeschoolin' land everything they should be learning at the SOTDRT in order to prepare for "real life." Which, for A-S (age 28) and E (age 26), consists of living with Mom and Dad.

visionarydaughters.com

[salex]

Ladies, I direct your attention to "The Top 10 Things Girls Should Study (But Rarely Do)" - a ginormous wall o' text, in which A-S and E drop lots of impressive phrases like "supralapsarianism vs. infralapsarianism," and tell all the "girls" out there in homeschoolin' land everything they should be learning at the SOTDRT in order to prepare for "real life." Which, for A-S (age 28) and E (age 26), consists of living with Mom and Dad.

visionarydaughters.com

Scanned down through it-- appears to be an unofficial ad for the 39 Dollar course they are pimping right now.

[Alicepooh]

Had to laugh while reading the description of what this new and exciting Botkinette resource offers: it supposedly helps girls be ready "to lead in the gates" through military studies. I bet they're using state-of-the-art warfare tactics to defend their vaginas!

[ILoveJellybeans]

It sounds okay (except for the rarely do part), but most fundie girls, and even the Botkins do not do these things, or do not to it right. And everyone should know most of those things.

[Mary C Doates]

This made my brain hurt.

They must be having problems drumming up interest for their webinar. I can't imagine fundies would want their daughters to engage in this much "study", since it might develop *gasp* independent behaviour and critical thinking skills, instead of focusing on serving Daddy your husband THE LORD. Don't want the womenfolk for get all edumacated and uppity! They're liable to scare off Godly suitors.

I suppose the Botkinettes have to reinvent themselves as "advisors" to women as a whole, since they don't seem to have much credibility when it comes to advising younger women about how to find a husband.

[salex]

Had to laugh while reading the description of what this new and exciting Botkinette resource offers: it supposedly helps girls be ready "to lead in the gates" through military studies. I bet they're using state-of-the-art warfare tactics to defend their vaginas!

More military talk about taking over the culture (culture wars) and taking dominion of the world. Oozing with the whole "7 mountains" message of "retaking" family, religion, education, media, entertainment, business and government to be under Christian control (and by Christian they mean their control.

My state is being taken over by these kind of people, and all I wish for them is impotence and boils.

[Mary C Doates]

More military talk about taking over the culture (culture wars) and taking dominion of the world. Oozing with the whole "7 mountains" message of "retaking" family, religion, education, media, entertainment, business and government to be under Christian control (and by Christian they mean their control.

My state is being taken over by these kind of people, and all I wish for them is impotence and boils.

And by "taking dominion" they mean the men will do so. The women will serve tea and gaze adoringly from the veranda.

[salex]

And by "taking dominion" they mean the men will do so. The women will serve tea and gaze adoringly from the veranda.

And birth babies--assuming they ever get married.

[gustava]

Marion...the title of this thread is :cracking-up: :cracking-up:

[ThatSnark]

Reading between the lines, I agree that they're trying to gin up some interest for their $39 pack-o'-nonsense and not finding too many takers. Maybe even the SOTDRT crowd realizes that they were fed a line from this family regarding marriage preparation, and that they'd rather get useful advice from someone in a position to give it.

[MamaJunebug]

Saw the blogpost, couldn't dredge up the energy needed to read all the way through, but this thought occurred:

AS & E are trying so hard to *appear* deep and intellectual, insightful. Their cousin Katie seems to *be* all those things. Their DNAs are pretty close, so what's the difference?

In brief: Katie is living life. AS & E are talking about it. That's my takeaway, anyhoo.

[DomWackTroll]

"...we need put our money where our mouths are..."

On Geoff's butt? Thanks, but I'll pass.

[Olive Plant]

"Girls" may rarely study these things, but women in the real world study them all the time. Oh, but let's not be confused: these totally valid female professions must be warped into something vapid and simpering because women need to do all these things only in the context of being a dutiful Christian housewife.

Economics and Business: "this is the missing concept that made stay-at-home womanhood make sense once, in good times and in bad." Translation: Etsy! Write books for Vision Forum and sell webinars for the family business! It's a business model that all homeschooled families can make lots of money on because the opportunities to sell webinars to other homeschoolers is limitless! Kind of like a pyramid scheme! See me showing off my economic prowess by embracing pyramid schemes!

Law: "Most importantly, though, you need a thorough knowledge of God’s law." Translation: Old Testament law wins against common sense (or common law) any day. Unless we want to argue cases where it doesn't, of course, because actually following Mosaic law would be Zionism or something equally political-sounding.

Political science and current events: "we women live in a world much bigger than our living rooms, churches, and friends." Translation: we can't go out of these circles physically, but we can read appropriate news sources about world politics, such as conspiracy-theory blogs, and then point them out helpfully during dinner conversation with our betters.

History: "History is also the story of how women helped or hurt their men, raised villains or heroes, and helped build or tear down nations." Translation: women themselves are never villians or heroes. Joan of Arc, Marie Curie, Elizabeth I, and so on, those women were just helping their men.

The sciences: "We Christian women have been made co-stewards of a physical world that operates according to certain rules." Translation: learn those rules only from A. Beka textbooks and the aforementioned conspiracy theory blogs. Coding doesn't count because that's not the devil's playground like biology is.

Health, nutrition and basic medicine: "if you have a good basic understanding of how God designed the body to work, you’ll be able to sort between health/diet trends." Translation: cook good food, and if you're fat, it means your food isn't good enough. Excercise of any kind is uncessary because cleaning and picking up children is all you need to be able to do physically. Possibly be able to carry a picnic basket up a short hike as well so you can take dominion over nature.

Home management: "how to cook for thirty on an hour’s notice." Translation: know how to make instant mashed potatoes, tater-tot casserole, and anything else that you can make in large quantities for cheap in a hurry. The price-quality-speed triad is all-important in home management, and "quality" is really pretty arbitrary, isn't it?

Culture and aesthetics: "Pretend you could wipe the current cultural scene clean of all the filth, and redesign the whole thing." Translation: you can actually do this if you're sheltered enough. "Filth" means anything that isn't classical music or music written by our brother Ben, and clothes that show skin above the elbow or the calf.

Communication: "it means learning to be discreet." Translation: Never contradict your betters!

Theology: "theology is more than the study of esoteric controversies like supralapsarianism vs. infralapsarianism." Translation: theology is about blindly doing what the Bible says, and what we interpret the Bible as saying. Trust us, we're smarter than you.

[JesusFightClub]

Oh God. This would be tragic, if it wasn't so amusing. Or amusing, if it wasn't so tragic. It's difficult to make clear distinctions with the Botkinettes.

Do they actually think fundie men want a woman who's well up in history, has a good grasp of economics, knows her law and has firm opinions on aesthetics? No. Nonononono.

What he wants, dear sweet Botkinettes, is someone who'll iron his shirts, submit to his dubious lovemaking skills, bear him bonny babies and let him decide whether it's appropriate for you to drink Pepsi or what you should wear. Prayerfully and lovingly, of course. Of course.

(This may be why you're still single in fundiedom. Just a hint there.)

If your mission is to make sure all fundamentalist Christian women stay single and develop their intellectual abilities, I applaud this. If your mission is to make sure all fundamentalist Christian women are going to make marriages with fundamentalist Christian men who are impressed by their learning, I would suggest that your plan will go down as well as it would if I parachuted naked into a secret al-Qaeda meeting to convert them all to atheism.

[ThatSnark]

Oh God. This would be tragic, if it wasn't so amusing. Or amusing, if it wasn't so tragic. It's difficult to make clear distinctions with the Botkinettes.

Do they actually think fundie men want a woman who's well up in history, has a good grasp of economics, knows her law and has firm opinions on aesthetics? No. Nonononono.

What he wants, dear sweet Botkinettes, is someone who'll iron his shirts, submit to his dubious lovemaking skills, bear him bonny babies and let him decide whether it's appropriate for you to drink Pepsi or what you should wear. Prayerfully and lovingly, of course. Of course.

(This may be why you're still single in fundiedom. Just a hint there.)

If your mission is to make sure all fundamentalist Christian women stay single and develop their intellectual abilities, I applaud this. If your mission is to make sure all fundamentalist Christian women are going to make marriages with fundamentalist Christian men who are impressed by their learning, I would suggest that your plan will go down as well as it would if I parachuted naked into a secret al-Qaeda meeting to convert them all to atheism.

I would pay $39 and upward to see a webinar that had the Botkinettes and Jesus Fight Club verbally spar.

[Mary C Doates]

I would pay $39 and upward to see a webinar that had the Botkinettes and Jesus Fight Club verbally spar.

Maybe it could be a Pay-Per-View event, combined with wrestling and Mixed Martial Arts bouts. My money's on JFC.

[snarkyjan]

I would pay $39 and upward to see a webinar that had the Botkinettes and Jesus Fight Club verbally spar.

So would I, but only if the entire gate was paid directly to JFC. I definitely wouldn't want to swell the Botkins' coffers.

[browngrl]

It has been some time since anyone referred to me a girl - however I thought I'd take a stab at their list

(1) economics - Why yes, I do have a marketable skill - indeed I have a skill set that pays me quite well indeed. I do know how to manage money because I have managed my money. I do know how to budget and "stretch a dollar". I do know how to support my husband - when he switched careers I supported him by actually supporting him.

(2) I'm not a lawyer - but I know enough about the law to have had no dealings with the legal system so far. I don't know God's law - but as I do not believe in God - I'm good with that. I do know how to mediate - another skill learned by having to manage a multidisciplinary team.

(3) I have a reasonable working knowledge of current affairs because how hard is it to read/watch the news?

(4)I know some history - at least enough to keep up with my husband who loves history and is doing a degree in history in his spare time (admittedly most of my history has been stuff that my husband has told me or from books/articles he has directed me to)

(4) total science geek here so I think I have the science thing covered.

(5) I'm a doctor so I think I have the medicine front covered.

(6)Home management - I hate cleaning but I can do it, similarly for laundry, mending things, basic home repairs, cooking etc, I knit,crochet for enjoyment and I have a lovely house - so I'm giving myself another check mark for this category

(7) I don't consider Thomas Kinkade to be representative of culture but my house is full of art and music so I'm giving myself points for this too.

(8) communication - I'm not an English major and goodness knows my spelling and grammar could use some help but I do believe I can communicate my opinion reasonably well - at least as well as the botkinettes . So a point to me in this category as well.

(9) I don't believe in God but I find fundies fascinating so I have read the Bible and have read quite a bit about religion. I'm giving myself a point in this category too.

voila - I have completed the entire SOTDRT education course AND I went to the evil public school AND I went to university AND I held down a full time job AND I found time to be an evil feminist snark on free jinger - hooray for me - in your face botkinettes :lol:

[starfish]

Why can't Geoff marry them off already?

[MissBeaufort]

Why can't Geoff marry them off already?

But- but- if they married, who would supply the world with delightful webinars?

[Mary C Doates]

But- but- if they married, who would supply the world with delightful webinars?

And who would fetch slippers for the menfolk?

[DomWackTroll]

Why can't Geoff marry them off already?

They're his gravy train, that's why. Funny how the "weaker sex" is supporting that whole damn family. And not just supporting them, but funding idiotic antics like Isaac's "global adventures," David's brilliant career as a "military historian," and the "epic soundtracks" that Ben composes for a burgeoning clientele that includes... um, Vision Forum.

[bionicmlle]

It has been some time since anyone referred to me a girl - however I thought I'd take a stab at their list

(1) economics - Why yes, I do have a marketable skill - indeed I have a skill set that pays me quite well indeed. I do know how to manage money because I have managed my money. I do know how to budget and "stretch a dollar". I do know how to support my husband - when he switched careers I supported him by actually supporting him.

(2) I'm not a lawyer - but I know enough about the law to have had no dealings with the legal system so far. I don't know God's law - but as I do not believe in God - I'm good with that. I do know how to mediate - another skill learned by having to manage a multidisciplinary team.

(3) I have a reasonable working knowledge of current affairs because how hard is it to read/watch the news?

(4)I know some history - at least enough to keep up with my husband who loves history and is doing a degree in history in his spare time (admittedly most of my history has been stuff that my husband has told me or from books/articles he has directed me to)

(4) total science geek here so I think I have the science thing covered.

(5) I'm a doctor so I think I have the medicine front covered.

(6)Home management - I hate cleaning but I can do it, similarly for laundry, mending things, basic home repairs, cooking etc, I knit,crochet for enjoyment and I have a lovely house - so I'm giving myself another check mark for this category

(7) I don't consider Thomas Kinkade to be representative of culture but my house is full of art and music so I'm giving myself points for this too.

(8) communication - I'm not an English major and goodness knows my spelling and grammar could use some help but I do believe I can communicate my opinion reasonably well - at least as well as the botkinettes . So a point to me in this category as well.

(9) I don't believe in God but I find fundies fascinating so I have read the Bible and have read quite a bit about religion. I'm giving myself a point in this category too.

voila - I have completed the entire SOTDRT education course AND I went to the evil public school AND I went to university AND I held down a full time job AND I found time to be an evil feminist snark on free jinger - hooray for me - in your face botkinettes :lol:

browngrl you are full of smut and sass. You and your darned "education."

[Marian the Librarian]

Bumping to report that there's been a bit o' discussion about this on E-Bot's Facebook page. (Yes, Daddy's loosened the thumbscrews enough to allow his "girls" to have FB pages - all, I suspect, in the service of pushing family product.)

There's the to-be-expected leghumping comments, and E-Bot's pontificating about the need for "culture-analyzing skills" in the home. But my favorite comes from a man named (I am not making this up) Talknow Justice, a self-described "gentleman philosopher, scientist and engineer":

Making it even harder for the guys to be qualified to marry such girls...

In other words, hoist by their own petard.

[LucySnowe]

Communication: "it means learning to be discreet." Translation: Never contradict your betters!

Sounds like the Maxwells have some competition for 'who can teach others about actual, real, useful communication in the least effective way'.