Lori Alexander, is that you? Christian Domestic Discipline

[AuntCloud]

Please, please, please let this be a Poe. I'm not holding my breath, the crazy is strong with this one.

http://jezebel.com/spanking-for-jesus-i ... -514271243

[RainbowSky]

That sort of thing is definitely real. Tons of sites about it! It has been brought up here before. Some if it still baffles me, years later!

[AnywhereButHere]

I've read other articles on this before and visited a linked site once where it went into some "interesting" detail. I get that this obviously works for some people, but I just can't get my head around it. I work considerably less hours than my husband, so most housework does fall to me. If he ever told me that I wasn't allowed to watch tv until the laundry was done, he'd be laughed out of the room and shown where the detergent was. If I were feeling particularly vindictive, I may hide his underwear... If he ever considered issuing a spanking, we'd be consulting either a therapist, or lawyer, or both. I just can't wrap my head around having such low self esteem (and I'm not the most confident person out there) that any of this would be okay.

Side note: I have got to stop looking at these things at work. IT will be very confuzzled if they ever do a computer audit on me...

[wayward]

Oh, I'm guessing that it's just kink dressed up as religion. One researcher found that there was some correlation between being spanked as a kid and weird/deviant sexual behavior as an adult. And well ... there have been numerous discussions here about fundamentalists and child-rearing practices.

[curlytoes79]

According to Jim Alsdurf, a forensic psychologist who has written a book on abuse in Christian homes, CDD is "an outlet for emotionally disturbed men with intimacy deficits"; it draws in "a more pathological group of people" because it infantilizes women (the Beginner's Packet addresses concern this under a section titled "Hesitations": "A lot of HoHs feel that by creating rules/setting boundaries... they will lose their partner and gain a child."). However, Alsdurf characterizes CDD as "an act of distorted sexual arousal" that's all-too-often done "in a controlling, mildly abusive way."

I think "emotionally disturbed with intimacy deficits" also applies to the women who believe in CDD or submission. I need to file this language away to use for Lori, Shitstain Mary, etc.

[wayward]

I think "emotionally disturbed with intimacy deficits" also applies to the women who believe in CDD or submission. I need to file this language away to use for Lori, Shitstain Mary, etc.

Yeah, I think you're right. Though I still think that the fundamentalist approach to raising children contributes to emotionally disturbed adults with intimacy deficits.

[eowyn1217]

This is just abuse by a different name. I can't even imagine a husband who thinks it's ok to spank. (outside of ... ya know ... closed doors .... and fun) I would leave him so fast he wouldn't know what hit him!

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I read the Jezebel article and their link to the Christine DD Group advice. This is horrifying to me. I was beaten as a child for accidents and bad attitude and sass and lying and it led to me loathing both of my parents for humiliating me and causing so much pain. To this day -- 40 years later-- I still find it difficult to love them. The idea that these wives agree to being beaten (in a non-erotic way) leaves me both disgusted and sad. Furthermore, the husband is self-correcting but the wife needs a beating? Why does having a penis make you infallible?

After reading the group advice page it becomes very clear that this practice has more problems than solutions. One poor lady began lying to her husband and hiding things from him (speeding tickets) because he uses a wooden paddle on her bare bottom and it hurts more than she can stand, but the people who commented on her problem said she just has to accept the pain because her "godly" husband was right to correct her. WTF? Who knows for sure if he is godly or just a sadist? It just stuns me that anyone, any where, any time could believe that a man who beats his wife's bare bottom with a paddle is godly.

[Mice]

One poor lady began lying to her husband and hiding things from him (speeding tickets) because he uses a wooden paddle on her bare bottom and it hurts more than she can stand, but the people who commented on her problem said she just has to accept the pain because her "godly" husband was right to correct her. WTF? Who knows for sure if he is godly or just a sadist? It just stuns me that anyone, any where, any time could believe that a man who beats his wife's bare bottom with a paddle is godly.

The husband doesn't do it because he's being godly or holy or because he is right to correct her. He does it because he likes to hit his wife. Period. That is sadism, nothing godly about it.

I don't think people are doing this because it so Christian - I think they like to hit other people for whatever reason and they call it godly because it gives them a socially acceptable excuse to beat on other people. Religion is the excuse, not the reason.

[tanksmom]

As someone who has bedroom tendencies beyond the norm...what they are setting up is a God permissive abusive relationship. In a truly D/s relationship the submissive has the power. The sub has the ability to set the limits and stop what is happening. Yes the Dom might test the subs boundaries, but the sub has the ability to say stop. What they describe is a way for someone to beat another person and use the excuse of "well god says..."

[TurtleBelly]

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2 ... pline.html

This just showed up in my Pulse newsfeed. Bad enough that people pass this off as religious, but to think some of them do this in front of their kids who have no choice but to watch is beyond disturbing. Infuriating to make kids think of this as Godly!

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

As someone who has bedroom tendencies beyond the norm...what they are setting up is a God permissive abusive relationship. In a truly D/s relationship the submissive has the power. The sub has the ability to set the limits and stop what is happening. Yes the Dom might test the subs boundaries, but the sub has the ability to say stop. What they describe is a way for someone to beat another person and use the excuse of "well god says..."

[wayward]

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/06/19/spanking-for-jesus-inside-the-unholy-world-of-christian-domestic-discipline.html

This just showed up in my Pulse newsfeed. Bad enough that people pass this off as religious, but to think some of them do this in front of their kids who have no choice but to watch is beyond disturbing. Infuriating to make kids think of this as Godly!

Yeah, that seemed like a very unhealthy sexual thing that their kids were forced to be involved in. Humiliation seems to be a part of that husband's game.

[PinkChampagne]

I'm kind of starting to think that the fundie women who really do well with it and actually seem to enjoy the lifestyle are natural submissives.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I cannot imagine how a mom who has been spanked in front of her children can expect to maintain any authority over them. I can easily imagine the kids turning tattle-tale (or even making something up) in order to punish mommy after mommy has punished them.