Men need more sex because Hitler!

[Koala]

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/05/making-time-for-sex.html

A very good friend of mine gives her husband sex every day because she told me he enjoys it and it makes him very happy. She loves pleasing her man.

You must come to terms with the fact that most men like sex a lot more often than women do. God made them that way. He gave them a lot of testosterone to fight wars {defeating Hitler}, exploring new lands, building skyscrapers and bridges, and having the burden of providing for their families until the day they die.

If a burglar is in your home, who gets up to confront him? Your husband, of course! God made them to be the providers and protectors and having lots of testosterone makes them to want to fulfill that role. {A feminine, godly wife helps him want to fulfill that role even more.}

:evil-eye: And just as a side note, if a burglar gets into my house, he'd better hope my husband gets to him first because I'm a hell of a lot meaner.

My advice...once a week is way too seldom for most men. Most men would love it every day or at least every other day.

You were created to be his help meet regardless of what kind of a husband he is. The more you live to please him and keep him happy, the more he will do the same for you. We absolutely reap what we sow.

[Rowan]

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/05/making-time-for-sex.html

Me thinks the "lady" doth protest too much. She can't admit he's an asshole - at least not directly. So she tries everything she can to make him not be one. A dalmatian can't change his spots, Lori.

[thoughtful]

Oh, FFS!

And I apologized for Godwinning on another thread.

[debrand]

Men aren't all the same when it comes to anything, much less sex. My marriage has gone through phases. When the children were very young, my husband's libido was higher than mine but now that the kids are older, mine seems to be a bit higher than his. I don't want my husband to have sex just to make me happy. I want him to have sex because he desires me. Why would anyone with any self respect and love for another person want someone to force themselves to have sex with them?

[lilwriter85]

Lori again generalizes all men.

My advice...once a week is way too seldom for most men. Most men would love it every day or at least every other day. {Yes, there will be times of sickness and child birth, etc. that will prevent that but most of the time, you can fulfill that need.}

I wonder when Lori took the time to interview most men. Lori needs stfu and stop trying to make it seem like most men are all the same.

[Koala]

I wish I could remember the name of the post where Ken commented about men having sex with their wives even when they were sick because it was good for them even if they didn't feel like it. Something like that. Damn it all, can't think which post that was. It was in the comments.

[GeoBQn]

What about the men who were killed by Hitler in death camps? Did they just not have enough testosterone to fight back?

[Arete]

Actually, if a burglar gets into my home (God forbid), I get to confront him. This woman is such a twat.

[lilwriter85]

exploring new lands

Umm yeah Lori this is true, but some the men in the past who explored new lands did other things during that time that weren't so great. Some of the Spanish Conquistadors raped indigenous women and they sometimes maimed indigenous men. Then again it was probably all of that testosterone.

[2xx1xy1JD]

All I'm getting from this is that Lori has lots of sex with Ken when she doesn't feel like it, because he demands it and she rationalizes that this is what all men need and somehow her sacrifice will pay off. She's clearly given up on the idea that it can be mutually enjoyable, and she doesn't even mention that a husband may want a wife to be enjoying herself instead of sounding like a martyr.

Is anyone pulling her aside to say, "you sound really passive-aggressive, and your posts make your husband look really bad, and the general tone of your blog is that you and your husband don't particularly like each other, but have a sick vibe where he gets off on seeing you being submissive, and you think that you need to play along in order to stop him from leaving you and you redirect your bossy nature toward other women instead." It's like reading 50 Shades of Grey, but without female orgasms.

[longskirtlotsakids]

I never "give" sex to my husband. I HAVE sex with him and enjoy it.

These fundie men must be really lousy lovers. They seem forever to be cooking up ways to get their own wives to fuck them.

[FlorenceHamilton]

I cannot imagine wht it must be like to try to fit reality into the fundy paradigm for marriage and family life. There is no room for the idea that life can be very rewarding for some people without either of these things. They had this definition of life beaten into them and must bend every experience to fit this model. They have been taught not to be able to critically think about this or anything else.

This is the ultimate goal of the whole Christian/Right/Tea Party/Theocracy power elite. They are creating an army of automatons who are only capable of working to acheive the prime directive.

[Mela99]

Huh. World War II could have gone the other way if wives were stingy cold fish.

Maybe TMI, but my fiance has crazy energy and drive when he's horny. That's when stuff gets done, man.

[rward]

Does Lori get that she's making marriage in fundyland sound so awful, I'd sooner chew off my own hands than involve myself in it?

[debrand]

Umm yeah Lori this is true, but some the men in the past who explored new lands did other things during that time that weren't so great. Some of the Spanish Conquistadors raped indigenous women and they sometimes maimed indigenous men. Then again it was probably all of that testosterone.

Maybe their wives had too much sex with them. If we want to have a peaceful world, don't have sex with men. Lots of sex apparently makes men crazy, mean and violent.

[louisa05]

Does Lori get that she's making marriage in fundyland sound so awful, I'd sooner chew off my own hands than involve myself in it?

Even in fundy-lite world, marriage is often made out to be some horrific sacrificial nightmare--at least for women. I was the last of my friends to get married and have a few fundy-lite friends. They all yammered at me about how much "hard work" marriage is, and how it "sucks to let go of your dreams for your husband's" and how husbands will "emotionally wound" you because that's what men do and how I had to prepare myself to "cling to Jesus" to survive it. I wanted to ask them what kind of hell their own marriages were and if they needed help finding a divorce lawyer. And the worst part is that one of them talked about how she learned all of that at a fundy-lite marriage conference.

I've been married four years and they all act like we're doing it wrong because I still don't agree with them that marriage is so difficult and emotionally draining and stressful. The rest of my life is stressful. My marriage is my safe haven from that.

[browngrl]

Years ago I worked in a clinic which was focused on sex/marital/relationship counselling. So I actually have asked many men (and women) about their libido. I'd like to tell Lori this: Stop making sweeping generalizations. There is a great range in men's libido. Some men want to have sex often others not so much. The exact same thing is true for women AND both men's and women's libido can change with life circumstances/health. That, Lori is the truth.

[doggie]

any man that enjoys sex with a partner that does not want it sucks big time and is not much of a man. The vibes I get is the woman is a slave to her master. or a prostitute selling her body for some sort of pathetic fundy version of affection. The whole submissive thing seems a desperate bid to try to get affection from a husband who is a asshole and may not like you otherwise.

[idonthaveajname]

"Sorry, I can't come to the bake sale tonight. Ken is going to do sex on me because I'm a good wife and have to keep him strong to ward off Hitler. It's what Jesus wants!"

This bitch can't be for real, right?

[Jinger Jar]

Years ago I worked in a clinic which was focused on sex/marital/relationship counselling. So I actually have asked many men (and women) about their libido. I'd like to tell Lori this: Stop making sweeping generalizations. There is a great range in men's libido. Some men want to have sex often others not so much. The exact same thing is true for women AND both men's and women's libido can change with life circumstances/health. That, Lori is the truth.

But aren't sweeping generalizations one of cornerstones of the fundie intellectual tradition?

[lilwriter85]

"Sorry, I can't come to the bake sale tonight. Ken is going to do sex on me because I'm a good wife and have to keep him strong to ward off Hitler. It's what Jesus wants!"

This bitch can't be for real, right?

Sadly, Lori is for real. Most of her postings contain some element of stupidity. She has posted several idiotic postings about sex and gender roles before.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Here's the inner monologue that seems to be running through every post of Lori's:

I'm a middle-aged woman with some serious health problems. I'm often in pain, and not so fun to be around. I like to be in control, and get really frustrated when I'm not. For years, Ken and I fought because we both like to be in control. I've convinced myself that I must have been a total bitch to him, because he clearly viewed me that way and hated any criticism or suggestion that he wasn't 100% in charge and 100% right all of the time. I'm terrified of divorce, because I was a stay-at-home mother and I have these serious health issues, so I truly believe that I would not be able to survive without Ken. The price that I have to pay to have Ken stay with me is to give up all control, die to myself, and deny myself the right to have independent thoughts and feelings or even control over my own body. When other women talk about relationships where they are loved and respected and even experience sexual pleasure, I cannot relate at all because it is so different from my life with Ken. I have to assume that these women are lying, or that they must be controlling bitches who are hated by their husbands, or that they are somehow evil and selfish sluts. Genuine love and respect and pleasure are not options for me, so I settle for physical care and the fact that Ken is more caring toward me when I am completely vulnerable. Ken thinks I'm frigid, and has even shared this with my blog readers. He really doesn't care if I like having sex with him or not - it's all about his pleasure, and he tells me that men have needs which I can't understand but must meet. I don't want to acknowledge that my life is really this pathetic and that Ken is really such an asshole, so I deal with the situation by buying into this religious notion that women should be submissive and that my marriage is a great example of the Christian model. My need to have some control has not gone away, but I now direct it toward other women instead of toward Ken or even toward my own life. Deep down, I don't really love Ken, or even like him, and I suspect that the only thing that he likes about me is my submission to him. I get angry sometimes - but the only way that I can let off steam is by blogging and holding myself out as a paragon of Christian virtue. I can't directly complain, but my feelings slip out in my blog. I view my life as a sacrifice, since this is what is being demanded of me and since I feel like I'm giving up so much and getting so little in return.

[Jinger Jar]

Here's the inner monologue that seems to be running through every post of Lori's:

I'm a middle-aged woman with some serious health problems. I'm often in pain, and not so fun to be around. I like to be in control, and get really frustrated when I'm not. For years, Ken and I fought because we both like to be in control. I've convinced myself that I must have been a total bitch to him, because he clearly viewed me that way and hated any criticism or suggestion that he wasn't 100% in charge and 100% right all of the time. I'm terrified of divorce, because I was a stay-at-home mother and I have these serious health issues, so I truly believe that I would not be able to survive without Ken. The price that I have to pay to have Ken stay with me is to give up all control, die to myself, and deny myself the right to have independent thoughts and feelings or even control over my own body. When other women talk about relationships where they are loved and respected and even experience sexual pleasure, I cannot relate at all because it is so different from my life with Ken. I have to assume that these women are lying, or that they must be controlling bitches who are hated by their husbands, or that they are somehow evil and selfish sluts. Genuine love and respect and pleasure are not options for me, so I settle for physical care and the fact that Ken is more caring toward me when I am completely vulnerable. Ken thinks I'm frigid, and has even shared this with my blog readers. He really doesn't care if I like having sex with him or not - it's all about his pleasure, and he tells me that men have needs which I can't understand but must meet. I don't want to acknowledge that my life is really this pathetic and that Ken is really such an asshole, so I deal with the situation by buying into this religious notion that women should be submissive and that my marriage is a great example of the Christian model. My need to have some control has not gone away, but I now direct it toward other women instead of toward Ken or even toward my own life. Deep down, I don't really love Ken, or even like him, and I suspect that the only thing that he likes about me is my submission to him. I get angry sometimes - but the only way that I can let off steam is by blogging and holding myself out as a paragon of Christian virtue. I can't directly complain, but my feelings slip out in my blog. I view my life as a sacrifice, since this is what is being demanded of me and since I feel like I'm giving up so much and getting so little in return.

To the bolded:

The other way she expresses her anger and frustrating is by advocating for, writing about, and carrying out the torture (beating, force feeding, etc.) of infants and children. That she does this at all is vile. That she uses Christianity to justify her pathology infuriates me.

[salex]

Here's the inner monologue that seems to be running through every post of Lori's:

I'm a middle-aged woman with some serious health problems. I'm often in pain, and not so fun to be around. I like to be in control, and get really frustrated when I'm not. For years, Ken and I fought because we both like to be in control. I've convinced myself that I must have been a total bitch to him, because he clearly viewed me that way and hated any criticism or suggestion that he wasn't 100% in charge and 100% right all of the time. I'm terrified of divorce, because I was a stay-at-home mother and I have these serious health issues, so I truly believe that I would not be able to survive without Ken. The price that I have to pay to have Ken stay with me is to give up all control, die to myself, and deny myself the right to have independent thoughts and feelings or even control over my own body. When other women talk about relationships where they are loved and respected and even experience sexual pleasure, I cannot relate at all because it is so different from my life with Ken. I have to assume that these women are lying, or that they must be controlling bitches who are hated by their husbands, or that they are somehow evil and selfish sluts. Genuine love and respect and pleasure are not options for me, so I settle for physical care and the fact that Ken is more caring toward me when I am completely vulnerable. Ken thinks I'm frigid, and has even shared this with my blog readers. He really doesn't care if I like having sex with him or not - it's all about his pleasure, and he tells me that men have needs which I can't understand but must meet. I don't want to acknowledge that my life is really this pathetic and that Ken is really such an asshole, so I deal with the situation by buying into this religious notion that women should be submissive and that my marriage is a great example of the Christian model. My need to have some control has not gone away, but I now direct it toward other women instead of toward Ken or even toward my own life. Deep down, I don't really love Ken, or even like him, and I suspect that the only thing that he likes about me is my submission to him. I get angry sometimes - but the only way that I can let off steam is by blogging and holding myself out as a paragon of Christian virtue. I can't directly complain, but my feelings slip out in my blog. I view my life as a sacrifice, since this is what is being demanded of me and since I feel like I'm giving up so much and getting so little in return.

Good summary, and why I don't ever go to her blog (or most of the blogs mentioned here)-- why give them the clicks? I commented to them once, was of course not published, etc. I would never be friends with them in real life, and neither he nor her fascinate me enough to make me read to see what they might do next. I view them as dangerous, as they have a normal middle class look to them, but preach nasty things.

[AVENues]

This fine lady... is so despicably stupid that she now fails to outrage me anymore or feed my urge to troll her. No. I pity her. I pity her with so much grace. I can't even laugh at her or snark on her. Her petty existence is just dreadfully sad to me.