Ms. Graveyard Dirt (Naked Roast Sitter)

[AnywhereButHere]

I would have to read this just as I was having lunch... She certainly is very open and free isn't she.

[laura oz]

The fuck? Seriously, this chick is just....man that's gotta be some bad juju.

[keen23]

The fuck? Seriously, this chick is just....man that's gotta be some bad juju.

Bad juju doesn't bother her, because The Shango Man, nicknamed Papa, resides in her home, as does a spectral hellhound. Yeah, it's OK, she's that powerful that they both want to be with her.

[salex]

Ms GD believes she is the personification of the goddess on earth. Her blend of religions gives and takes from various earth based religions, voodoo and a smattering of Catholicism. She is ritually celibate during Lent. Of course, this only means P in V celibate, as they are free to otherwise romp. On Easter, she becomes The Bride (I think, I might have her deities confused) and she and Italics commence non-stop fucking to bring fertility back into the world. Mind you, she and her husband aren't self sufficient, and they depend on his parents to keep a roof over their heads, but that doesn't stop her from romping naked in the backyard, smearing bodily fluids all over everything, and burying dead animals everywhere (oh, PS, sometimes, she'll SELL you a dead animal or something she's made from the dead animals).

I have to admit, I've been working on a Who Is page about Ms GD for a few weeks now, but there's just so much, information to get through. For example, a few years back, she started claiming that her grandfather was a Lakota Medicine Man.

I will say kudos to her parents for keeping this pair from being homeless and scaring the public. There is a point where being crazy goes from a comment on someone's actions to a diagnosis... this woman may have moved over to the diagnosis side.

[Maggie Mae]

I've always pictured her living far away from from other homes & people. But nope, not if this picture is any indication graveyarddirt.com/newsprint/archive/000428.php

I am so glad that the world has 7 billion people, reducing my chance of contact with her and her foods.

[snarkbillie]

.

I'm not familiar with this Naked Roast Sitter you guys speak of, but she sounds awfully spechul!

Ah, naked roast sitter who sat naked and menstruating on a pot roast and then gleefully served it to her guests. The pot roast was just so beautiful that she had to sit on it naked and menstruating, see? So beautiful.

[Phoebe]

Bad juju doesn't bother her, because The Shango Man, nicknamed Papa, resides in her home, as does a spectral hellhound. Yeah, it's OK, she's that powerful that they both want to be with her.

...so she's Anita Blake. Gotcha.

[SoybeanQueen]

My pagan to English dictionary appears to need updating and I can't possibly have interpreted that correctly. Did she really say she ran outside postcoitally nekkid to kegel some spooge out while squatting over some gamy roadkill?

I can't even figure out what the symbolism behind that would be.

Uh, yes. I think your interpretation was frighteningly correct. It hurts to laugh that hard!

[laura oz]

Ah, naked roast sitter who sat naked and menstruating on a pot roast and then gleefully served it to her guests. The pot roast was just so beautiful that she had to sit on it naked and menstruating, see? So beautiful.

Wait a minute :shock: . I remember seeing the pics and reading about her a little when I was just getting into the swing of things here, but she actually served people a freaking roast that she marinated in smelly menstrual blood?! Did they know? How the hell did I not retain that nugget of vital info? That is just nasty :angry-nono:

[Black Aliss]

I've always pictured her living far away from from other homes & people. But nope, not if this picture is any indication [MT breaking the link here] graveyarddirt.com/newsprint/archive/000428.php

I am so glad that the world has 7 billion people, reducing my chance of contact with her and her foods.

The first line of that post says it all: "The entire neighborhood thinks we're weirdos."

[AtroposHeart]

Oh, a thread about a nutcase Pagan for once.

*gets popcorn

[laura oz]

I got a bag of honey bbq fritos and am having trouble putting them down.

[Maggie Mae]

I got a bag of honey bbq fritos and am having trouble putting them down.

Just imagine that someone at the Lay's factory decided the potatos were so beautiful she needed to smear them with menstrual fluid.

[AnywhereButHere]

Okay - diet's back on. Thank you wild, naked pagan lady.

[keen23]

Oh, a thread about a nutcase Pagan for once.

*gets popcorn

Ms GD comes up kind of frequently on here. Just use the Search function up top. She's a speschul snowflake of a very speschul kind.

[VooDooChild]

Ah, naked roast sitter who sat naked and menstruating on a pot roast and then gleefully served it to her guests. The pot roast was just so beautiful that she had to sit on it naked and menstruating, see? So beautiful.

I used to like pot roast.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Wait a minute :shock: . I remember seeing the pics and reading about her a little when I was just getting into the swing of things here, but she actually served people a freaking roast that she marinated in smelly menstrual blood?! Did they know? How the hell did I not retain that nugget of vital info? That is just nasty :angry-nono:

I seem to remember reading an old old thread on livejournal (on sf_drama, naturally) about her where she made some bread with, um, "special ingredients" and gave some to the postman, WITHOUT telling him. I can't seem to google up the thread now, but there was plenty of criticism of the "how could you?" variety over the idea of putting your own bodily fluids into food and not warning the recipients.

ETA: Didn't find the sf_d snark, but did find the original horrifying post! It's quite a ways down this archive page: www.graveyarddirt.com/newsprint/archive/cat_bff.php

Turns out it wasn't her bodily issue, but rather only (only!!!) "leftover psychoactive plant material":

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I just realized, while in the shower, that the bread I gave to the postman yesterday WAS NOT THE 100% VANILLA AND SAFE ENGLISH MUFFIN BREAD I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT IT WAS. (It was the honey'n'oatmeal Samhain bread I baked with leftover PSYCHOACTIVE PLANT MATERIAL.) (LOLOLOL, AND HERE I THOUGH "LABEL IT? WHY? I FUCKING //BAKED// THE FUCKING THING, I THINK I'D KNOW WHAT MY //OWN BREAD// LOOKS LIKE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!")

LET'S JUST PRETEND THAT I'M YOUR AVERAGE 28 YEAR OLD DOTING HOUSEWIFE AND OCCASIONAL BREAD BAKER AND //NOT// THE VOLATILE 28 YEAR OLD SEX PIG STONER WITCH AND OCCASIONAL BREAD BAKER WHO USES HER CULINARY HOBBY TO PUT ON A HUMOROUS AIR OF NORMALCY AND DECENCY FOR THE UNKNOWING BENEFIT (LOL, "UNKNOWING BENEFIT"? WHAT A NICE WAY OF SAYING I'M ALWAYS DELIBERATELY SCHEMING BEHIND CLOSED DOORS FOR MY OWN AMUSEMENT!) OF THE PEOPLE AROUND HER THAT I REALLY AM. ALL I'M SAYING IS HE'S LUCKY THERE WAS ONLY LEFTOVER PSYCHOACTIVE PLANT MATERIAL; USUALLY MY RITUAL BREAD FEATURES SOME VERSION OF MY DNA. (Oh, honey, I'm that sort've of witch and more.) (...AND MORE, SAYS THE VOLATILE 28 YEAR OLD SEX PIG STONER WITCH AND OCCASIONAL BREAD BAKER WHO USES HER CULINARY HOBBY TO PUT ON A HUMOROUS AIR OF NORMALCY AND DECENCY FOR THE UNKNOWING BENEFIT OF THE PEOPLE AROUND HER WHO ACCIDENTALLY, ONCE, DROPPED HER PUBIC HAIR IN THE BUFFALO WING HOT SAUCE INSTEAD OF THE BREAD BATTER SHE WAS WORKING ON FOR THE SABBAT.) (YES, INDEED, ONE OF //THOSE// SORT'VE WITCHES.)

[nokidsmom]

Wow, reading that entry from 2009 was just so :shock:

Understatement, I know, but she's one very scary speshul snowflake. Please tell me God only made one.

[Jinger Jar]

Wait a minute :shock: . I remember seeing the pics and reading about her a little when I was just getting into the swing of things here, but she actually served people a freaking roast that she marinated in smelly menstrual blood?! Did they know? How the hell did I not retain that nugget of vital info? That is just nasty :angry-nono:

The Naked Roast Sitter was the first individual I researched after joining FJ. I found the incriminating pictures of her on Photobucket and shared them with my mother-in-law, who promptly promised to beat me to death with her quad cane if I ever fed her meat that had marinated in human body fluids. My brother-in-law overheard our conversation and said, "I see you've found the dark side of the Internet." :lol:

[RachelB]

She needs to get with exgay g and dede to start a permanently pregnant raising the road kill with precious seed road tour. She coul dance naked and dripping across the stage while dede sings of greasy fingers and keeping your panties on.

That would be like the collision of matter and anti-matter. The internet might explode.

[NjoyingNsanity]

As a Pagan I've read allot of blogs that made me go WTF, but she takes the cake. I have allot of Pagan friends who are into cooking who are excellent cooks without adding any psychoactive plants or body fluids/parts. I have friends online who yes scrape roadkill animals off the highway, the difference being that they put them in a plastic bag and give it a proper burial if it is an animal sacred to their particular patron god/goddess. Very few Pagans actually do this, but some feel called to do it by a particular deity, none that I know of run outside after sex to drip jizz all over the unburied corpse though. I have a few friends that have used menstrual blood in spells, one in particular who did this as part of a ritual to personalize a set of runes she made, she was squeamish about actually cutting herself, so um menstrual blood was the chicken's way out of getting the necessary blood for a blood spell. If I can ever find them again I'll link you up to some quality crazy Pagan blogs, because the fundies really don't have a monopoly on the crazy.

[slickcat79]

Did you catch this disclaimer about her "roadkill pics"? Apparently she's really concerned that people will steal them and ruin her life's work :shock:

graveyarddirt.tumblr.com/post/9852199662/down

[Cerdwin]

I am sort of glad she and Helena are in different hemispheres.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

It's the whole "not telling" part that most horrifies me. If she's got a group of cool friends who are all into the roast sitting and IN ON IT, well, party on with their bad selves I guess. (I think I have another event scheduled that evening, SO sorry to have to miss it!~)

But consent needs to be happening!!! D:

Guest: "ew there's a hair in this buffalo sauce... wait there's more than one"

NRS: "OH! Haha! I forgot I put my pubes in there!!!"

Guest: *massive barfing*

[tanksmom]

You know when I first looked at this thread I said to myself "Self, you've fallen into the trap of reading her blog before, run away!" And myself said "Surely it can't be that bad this time."

Damn you people bringing her up again!!!