Battles break out over breast feeding at Mormon meetings

[GiggleOfGirls]

I agree that some places and times should be adult-only, BUT if someone did happen to bring a baby to a state dinner (for example) I think that it would be far ruder to get up and leave with a crying baby than to calmly start feeding baby (I'd have the baby in a ring sling at such an affair, I believe, that's usually what I do at restaurants with a small baby) and probably nobody would even notice.

[Widget]

I didn't care. My baby had a bad time latching on and hated being covered. The in use boob was gonna be out of the holster and if you didn't like it, tough.

He was my baby and I was more concerned about him than some pearl clutching prude who objected to my boobs doing what boobs are meant to do.

[desertvixen]

Count me among the number of women who have nursed in church. We didn't have a cry room.

[BriMamai]

My husband, daughter and I just attended services at a new church tonight, and even though I had just fed littles an hour before, she decided it was time to eat. I am a nursing cover kinda gal and busted it out. I was personally using it as a bit of a barometer. If I got attitude or disapproving looks, I was prepared to walk on this church since we are exploring becoming members there, but haven't yet committed. To their credit, everyone who noticed was cool about it. I may have even been a bit bummed since I tend towards agnostic and this church thing is really for my husband. This was going to be my "out" ;) And we did call before attending - no cry room there, either.

[sugarloaf]

You'd think that a religious group that encourages having lots of kids and regular attendance at church events would do what they could to make breastfeeding and general childcare easier, not harder.

[treemom]

I think the no breast feeding at Mormon meetings is just as bad as saying it is the god given responsibility for mothers to breast feed. Talk about setting up women to feel as failures.

If you are feeding your infant a food designed for infants, then you are filling your responsibility to feed them. I breasted for two years and donated. I believe in it, glad I did it, but there are lots of reason to not do it...and even if they aren't...feeding your baby formula or bottled breastmilk is fine and good and healthy and totally appropriate. Breast feeding isn't more good. (and I didn't mean better there)

[snarkbillie]

I dunno. I think lactivists have gone a bit overboard with the "I will feed my baby ANYWHERE!!" stuff. Would you whip out a ham sandwich and start eating in church? No. It's inappropriate to eat during religious services. It's not that hard to take a baby (breast or bottle fed) to the lounge to feed, is it?

I wouldn't whip out a sandwich because I'm an adult and my body can wait for food. Babies can't wait. There's no reason to make women go somewhere else to feed a baby.

[ADoyle90815]

I wouldn't whip out a sandwich because I'm an adult and my body can wait for food. Babies can't wait. There's no reason to make women go somewhere else to feed a baby.

This. Especially in a church that expects women to have children because there are "spirits waiting to be born into Mormon families," they should make it easy for mothers to feed their children the way nature or God intended. After all, JESUS CHRIST was breastfed. The Mormon church has Jesus Christ in all capital letters outside their buildings, so I felt it was a good way of mentioning someone they claim to worship.

[sewingmom2]

My breastfeeding years were 1978-1989. I nursed for the entire period minus 3 months. Three children, average weaning age of around 4 years. I nursed in public until they were around 2 years. After that, we tended to nurse in private situations. I've nursed everywhere from church to trans-Atlantic flights. In all those years, I seldom got any flack from anyone for nursing. I practiced in front of a mirror to make sure I was covered enough and from then on, I didn't worry about it. The Mormons are wrong--nursing should be encouraged and allowed, imo.

[Rosa]

I for one applaud the Mormons in making young mother's less and less able to participate in meetings and services, because it will discourage conversions and encourage people who are thinking about leaving the church.

[TheLurkingFrumper]

I've heard of those mythical women who reportedly let entire breasts hang out while nursing, but I've yet to actually see someone do that. All of the breastfeeding women I've met so far are extremely discreet and aren't out to try and flash people. Sometimes more is shown than intended, but I've yet to see that scenario without a mom also trying to quickly cover up again (whether that be with an actual cover, a baby-wearing device, or just by keeping her hand above the breast to hold her shirt close to the baby's head so she's effectively not showing anything to anyone).

I have encountered this woman, and she was not mystical. I think she was just overwhelmed and exhausted. When I was in college waiting tables, she was sat in my section, along with her three year-old daughter and (I would guess) about 3 month old twins. It was one time I was very happy to be working a slow weekday lunch in which I only had one table. Shortly after their food arrived, both babies started crying. She was attempting to tandem nurse, but then her daughter needed help cutting her food. She laid each baby on the table in front of her, tucked the hem of her shirt into the neck of her shirt so she was fully exposed, and then leaned over both babies, dangling a breast into each of their mouths while she reached across the table to cut her daughters food.

Now, I'm don't usually consider myself a prude and have no problem with public nursing but this really did make me feel awkward. I would have cut her daughter's food for her if she had asked. As it was, I just did my best to give her privacy, since she was basically topless. Like I said, I think she was just overwhelmed. But she was real and certainly not mystical.

[emesbe]

FWIW, most Mormon meeting houses have speakers in the mother's lounge that allows them to listen to the services while they feed their babies. I have met some people who see any sort of nudity as full on porn. My best friend works with a super-duper Mormon dude who thinks any sort of images of nude people is straight up porn. Artistic, whatever.

Yeah, but most of the mother's lounges are attached to or part of the bathroom. So people come in and poop, so you get to listen/smell that while baby is nursing. And people come in and change poopy diapers, and leave the diaper, so yuck.

[sunshine]

I thought mormons practice modesty. Are they becoming liberal?

[Joan of Snarc]

My husband, daughter and I just attended services at a new church tonight, and even though I had just fed littles an hour before, she decided it was time to eat. I am a nursing cover kinda gal and busted it out. I was personally using it as a bit of a barometer. If I got attitude or disapproving looks, I was prepared to walk on this church since we are exploring becoming members there, but haven't yet committed. To their credit, everyone who noticed was cool about it. I may have even been a bit bummed since I tend towards agnostic and this church thing is really for my husband. This was going to be my "out" ;) And we did call before attending - no cry room there, either.

Where are those judgmental Christians when ya need 'em?

:lol:

Prolly on facebook bitchin about how much they hate Obummer and libruls.

:roll:

[formergothardite]

I thought mormons practice modesty. Are they becoming liberal?

When did breastfeeding become immodest?

[Lulu]

I breastfed anywhere and anytime it was needed. I don't get it when a place is promoted as a family type establishment and them go all ape over a mother breastfeeding DUH!

Also it really gets me when people say things like its ok if done discretely. I was always discret, I never stood on tables swinging my babies from my nipples singing at the top of my voice "look at moi"

Now my breastfeeding years are over I do tend to look longingly at b/f mums, I hope it is longingly and they don't think I;m doing the disaproving frown or learing at them.

[DutchMommy]

How do they think Jesus was fed? Breastfeeding is what defines us as mammals. There's nothing sexual about it. The primary reason for having breasts is to feed one's infant. Any sexual connotations are secondary. It's the other person's problem. Besides, what's sexy about engorged rock hard purple veined breasts spewing bluish milk?

[Guest Anonymous]

I have encountered this woman, and she was not mystical. I think she was just overwhelmed and exhausted. When I was in college waiting tables, she was sat in my section, along with her three year-old daughter and (I would guess) about 3 month old twins. It was one time I was very happy to be working a slow weekday lunch in which I only had one table. Shortly after their food arrived, both babies started crying. She was attempting to tandem nurse, but then her daughter needed help cutting her food. She laid each baby on the table in front of her, tucked the hem of her shirt into the neck of her shirt so she was fully exposed, and then leaned over both babies, dangling a breast into each of their mouths while she reached across the table to cut her daughters food.

Now, I'm don't usually consider myself a prude and have no problem with public nursing but this really did make me feel awkward. I would have cut her daughter's food for her if she had asked. As it was, I just did my best to give her privacy, since she was basically topless. Like I said, I think she was just overwhelmed. But she was real and certainly not mystical.

Awkward? More like awesome! That's what I call coping, not being overwhelmed! :)

[skeptifem]

Yeah seriously, that is a talented mom. She was doing 3 things at once.

[Mama Mia]

I have encountered this woman, and she was not mystical. I think she was just overwhelmed and exhausted. When I was in college waiting tables, she was sat in my section, along with her three year-old daughter and (I would guess) about 3 month old twins. It was one time I was very happy to be working a slow weekday lunch in which I only had one table. Shortly after their food arrived, both babies started crying. She was attempting to tandem nurse, but then her daughter needed help cutting her food. She laid each baby on the table in front of her, tucked the hem of her shirt into the neck of her shirt so she was fully exposed, and then leaned over both babies, dangling a breast into each of their mouths while she reached across the table to cut her daughters food.

Now, I'm don't usually consider myself a prude and have no problem with public nursing but this really did make me feel awkward. I would have cut her daughter's food for her if she had asked. As it was, I just did my best to give her privacy, since she was basically topless. Like I said, I think she was just overwhelmed. But she was real and certainly not mystical.

Wow, or you could have you know OFFERED to help her out, instead of feeling "awkward"

[apple1]

Wow, or you could have you know OFFERED to help her out, instead of feeling "awkward"

Ditto (assuming this story is fully true).

[Irishy]

Well in fairness, when I was a student and had no baby experience, a tandem feeding mother would probably have made me really uncomfortable too. But that's only because I'd probably never seen such a thing. My generation (70s) were 95% bottle fed as babies and breastfeeding is only emerging as a norm in the last 10 years. That's why I always fed my babies whenever, wherever. To contribute in my own small (silent) way to making it the norm and maybe to encourage a pregnant woman or two who were undecided. So I do understand.

[Mama Mia]

Well in fairness, when I was a student and had no baby experience, a tandem feeding mother would probably have made me really uncomfortable too. But that's only because I'd probably never seen such a thing. My generation (70s) were 95% bottle fed as babies and breastfeeding is only emerging as a norm in the last 10 years. That's why I always fed my babies whenever, wherever. To contribute in my own small (silent) way to making it the norm and maybe to encourage a pregnant woman or two who were undecided. So I do understand.

That's a good point. I forget that. Somehow my family was a rare exception and every generation breast fed, even when it wasn't popular, so it never seemed weird to me.

[Irishy]

That's a good point. I forget that. Somehow my family was a rare exception and every generation breast fed, even when it wasn't popular, so it never seemed weird to me.

And your family is the way it should be! One of the biggest factors in failure is the lack of expertise available from mothers/grandmothers because they never did it.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I breastfed in my place of worship.

If you have several children, and if you are committed to breastfeeding as long as medical organizations recommend, then you are spending a LOT of time doing it. No, giving a bottle is not always feasible. My younger two kids simply refused them - they had no idea what they were, couldn't figure out how to use them and wanted the real things. My oldest only took bottles reluctantly - she wouldn't take them at all from me, and she would stop taking bottles anytime that she felt sick. Each bottle of milk that I pumped also represented about an hour of work, so I treated them like gold. These bottles were what would allow me to go out of the house without the baby, go to a dentist appointment, etc. I would not waste precious pumped milk by giving a bottle when I could nurse instead. As well, missing a feed would mean that my boobs would be left way too full, and become rock-hard and painful. [ironically, it would also make me look more like a porn star.] Pumped milk also has a really limited shelf life - you need to time everything so that it has time to defrost, but not enough time to go bad.

In short, if you exclude nursing mothers, you are effectively encouraging women to wean prematurely, or banishing women from the public realm.