Closet Racist, Adoptive Mom, Annoying Narcissist ...

[ladyamylynn]

Annnnnddddd, she's gone private. Oh.My.Yes. I think this is a good thing for the sake of the children still at home. I need a new hate-read!

The blog won't stay private. Oh. No. It. Won't.

[unholy_moses]

The blog won't stay private. Oh. No. It. Won't.

Well how could it? That's supposedly her ministry...you can't minister if no one can read. :lol: That said, has anyone tried making a fake email account and gaining access to the blog?

That said, I'm here for you all...we can get through this tough time :)

Welcome Moses! We're from the same town, whoop whoop, high five! Do you know what the marriage crises was all about?

You're SO right about there being a huge adoption surge in L town. What's that all about?

Woohoo! I blame NCCTK for that damn surge...though I like to blame them for a lot of things, including my parents becoming more crazy evangelical over the past few years. As far as the marriage crisis goes, all I know is what was filtered to me through the kids...and that was just Mama losing it about having to take care of a bajillion kids alone. :cray-cray: It seems to me that they had never really spent a whole lot of time apart in the 30(?) years they were married, so when he left for the island it was just a lot to bear. The church was a church plant from NCCTK and they really left him high and dry as far as finances went - the congregation on the island was apparently about as big as the family, and during those years tithing was practically non-existent. Couple that with the fact that the house they were using couldn't fit the whole family, the trip to the ferry was almost an hour, the actually ferry ride was almost 2 hours, they were losing some of the big kids to missions trips and life and it was matched with the adoption crisis timeline. It was too hard I guess, and Laurel found that with the distance Jim couldn't always be emotionally available for her. Enter some good mud-puddle sitting, and voila...Laurel D, everyone!

Is Papa more stable and normal than Mama? Does anyone know why he left Lopez?

A lot more stable. As I was getting close to the family, he was mostly off at Lopez. I know the distance wasn't good for the marriage (and now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure Laurel started blogging about "crisis" crap while he was being a pastor), and they weren't really paying the family a living wage. I don't know why they picked him in the first place, but our town is full of churches where you don't actually need to go to seminary in order to preach. Add to the fact that the church was nondenominational, and you really didn't need any sort of credentials at all.

Papa's current inability to land a permanent professional job.... temporary run of bad luck/ bad employment circumstances in your area, or result of past failures or people knowing too much about their family because of the blog?

I think a little from column A, and a little from column B. Sadly, now at least, he's really out of date as far as new curricula goes. A lot of people go away from our town and get teaching degrees and stay in the broad area. He's old, and I honestly do think that it's working against him. As far as I know, his last teaching job (before all of the co-op crap) was quite some time ago, and the co-op stuff didn't help. From what I remember, filtered through the town gossip canal (I'm dutch...we have to call it a canal :lol:), the co-op was technically a public school endeavour funded with taxpayer dollars. Jim was the principal, and there were some instances of misappropriation of funds mixed with poor leadership mixed with the fact that some of the people teaching at the school were very unqualified. Also, taxpayer money was found to be funding religious activities when it shouldn't have been. Again, through the town gossip canal...and I'm having a helluva time finding an article about it from the newspapers.

[GawkingToo]

Has anyone noticed this before?? facebook.com/HomeschoolersAnonymous/posts/549822278407226

Edit: Broke link, just in case

Edit2: Apparently I'm a bad link-breaker??

[Cheetah]

Has anyone noticed this before?? facebook.com/HomeschoolersAnonymous/posts/549822278407226

Edit: Broke link, just in case

Edit2: Apparently I'm a bad link-breaker??

Huh, no, I hadn't seen that! At first I thought she meant that Lindsey had written the post, but I think she was just implying that she's heard similar arguments from Lindsey (?).

[GawkingToo]

Huh, no, I hadn't seen that! At first I thought she meant that Lindsey had written the post, but I think she was just implying that she's heard similar arguments from Lindsey (?).

Lindsey "liked" the post, which probably resulted in it appearing on her Facebook feed. Laurel might have thought she was responding to Lindsey's reposting of it, but inadvertently ended up commenting on the original post instead. At least that's my guess.

[littlemommy]

Laurel refers to her blog as the family scrapbook or some such nonsense...do you think the big kids are readers? I would be extremely bothered if my mom was airing dirty laundry and writing those cringeworthy pedestal posts. I actually have no idea what my response to that would be, if she were a relative of mine. Silence, I guess. Deafening, shocked silence.

[Iovershare]

I think she will go public again after she scrubs the blog clean.

[dianapavelovna]

Laurel refers to her blog as the family scrapbook or some such nonsense...do you think the big kids are readers? I would be extremely bothered if my mom was airing dirty laundry and writing those cringeworthy pedestal posts. I actually have no idea what my response to that would be, if she were a relative of mine. Silence, I guess. Deafening, shocked silence.

She made a passive-aggressive comment not long ago (I think when she was asking for feedback about the format, etc.) that her older kids no longer comment on the blog. So....seems like they're over it. :dance:

[jegfile]

I hope I'm breaking this link properly... have a look at the comments Laurel has been leaving on other people's blogs. Everything is about her! She has stored up a lifetime of bitterness with regards to how her friends, family, adopted children etc. have treated her!

intensedebate.com/profiles/mamadsdozen

[littlemommy]

Wow, reading through her comments I noticed more fundie sayings than I ever noticed in her blog: "I stayed home to train up our children", "We purposed", etc. Also, for someone who feels isolated and put on a pedestal for having so many kids she sure signs a lot of posts "Laurel, mother of 12".

Of course she doesn't feel isolated by this title. She feels it gives her more credibility, or she wouldn't flaunt it.

Littlemommy, mother of 2.5

[Iovershare]

Those 5 pages of comments were a gold mine! I love her spanx one and the ones about modesty.

[Morton Fan]

Those 5 pages of comments were a gold mine! I love her spanx one and the ones about modesty.

It is indeed a gold mine. She's really covered it all: adoption complaints, design tips, her take on the outcome of the George Martin trial, and pee holes.

[Morton Fan]

Boy, I'm shocked ... she's pretty good at letting go when it comes to parenting Little Miss. Huh.

'I, too, have had to "let go" with many things as we are not parenting our Little Miss right now. And, I am doing pretty good with letting it go. However . . . I am having a much harder time letting go of the pain that some of my older bio. kids are causing.'

[SunnyAndrsn]

Stop the presses! An acknowledgment that Rachel yet lives and breathes.

Yes, it is a long process, but you don't ever really achieve 100% healed with an attachment disorder of this magnitude. It can take a lifetime to develop the ability to form a meaningful attachment with ONE person. It's more like a cycle of relapse/remission. Our son's psychologist warned us that although he was doing well in his early teens, we could expect the cycle to repeat. It has, and he continues to struggle. ALL of life is hard for people with attachment disorders. The relationships that come so easily to us in our daily interactions with the world are baffling to a kid with an attachment disorder.

Another one of our kids (foster, not adopted by us) told us that in his opinion, we were the fools because we "trusted everyone" where as his motto in life was TRUST NO ONE. You can't be hurt by people if you consistently expect the worst from them. Therefore, why get close to them? Better to simply avoid it. Yet looking at the rest of the world and their attachments can be painful, wanting to have something that you are SURE will cause you more pain, yet envying it at the same time.

We have relationships with several of our former foster kids, and our adopted son, but the relationships have to be on THEIR terms. There is no compromise on this for them. They know we are here for them, and they know they can count on us when they need us.

She's deluding herself, like so many other people who have unsuspectingly brought an attachment disordered child into their home. The foolish, naive thinking that a child would just say "thank you" after being yanked away from everything they know to live with strangers! All children deserve love, safety, and security and should not have to be grateful for the basics of life.

She acts like the kids should have rolled over like dogs, and become submissive to the hand that's feeding them. "Here's some bread; you love me, right?"

How is this poor child in the facility going to heal from major depressive disorder without a therapist and medication? I've been through depression with and without meds and therapy and dear God, it was a nightmare.

[Cheetah]

I hope I'm breaking this link properly... have a look at the comments Laurel has been leaving on other people's blogs. Everything is about her! She has stored up a lifetime of bitterness with regards to how her friends, family, adopted children etc. have treated her!

intensedebate.com/profiles/mamadsdozen

What is this site... does it collect blog comments involuntarily? Just wondering now if somewhere I have a profile like this of all the commnets I've left on random blogs where I have to sign in... (Yikes, if so!).

Reading thru, this actually seems like comments she's made on her own blog in response to other people's comments. Or maybe they just sound familiar because she often regurgitates stuff from other people's blogs.

[SunnyAndrsn]

I did find my adopted kiddos less coordinated at first. I also found them to be less able to do logical thinking a lot of times. I NEVER assumed it was because of RAD. I assumed it was because their brains were on hyperdrive from all of the changes in their lives. Geesh, when you have to press the lever on the fridge a million times because you are convinced that it's a trick and fresh, safe drinking water will NOT come out this time, coordination is HARDLY your biggest concern!

DING DING DING!!! It should also be common sense that developmental milestones, both physical and mental, have the potential for delay.

[Morton Fan]

It is indeed a gold mine. She's really covered it all: adoption complaints, design tips, her take on the outcome of the George Martin trial, and pee holes.

Um, ya. I meant to say George Zimmerman. Whoops!! :doh:

[Morton Fan]

Reading thru, this actually seems like comments she's made on her own blog in response to other people's comments. Or maybe they just sound familiar because she often regurgitates stuff from other people's blogs.

She's like a broken record. She just regurgitates those same few topics over and over again.

ETA: the grammar.

[Morton Fan]

"Our Little Miss has been away for 10 months now, and is still living the honeymoon. Since there is no expectation of bonding and attachment, she enjoys the reputation as the child that "never gets in trouble". They have seen not a glimpse of the child that lived in our home. So hard."

Only Laurel could find it a negative thing that her daughter is doing well. :(

[littlemommy]

Maybe Rachel is happier there. That's a fine statement on one's parenting. "I'm happier at a prison for kids!"

[fundiefun]

It was very likely that she is happier where she is at some kids especially those with RAD thrive and flourish in environments where they don't feel threatened by attachment and have scheduled days. My friend's mom's son went to a residential treatment facility after years of issues they were finally able to get him admitted of course having to leave a huge paper trail with police reports and they finally gave the go ahead after he threatened to rape a teacher. After he went into the center he started to thrive and was able to come home on visits. He told his parents that he liked the structure and care that was given at the center. At 18 now he is on a much better path and is a polite young man still trying to find his way in life.

[chaotic life]

I am not convinced Rachel is RAD. Far too many of these fundie style adoptive parents arm-chair diagnosis but never seek out real professionals. Hanna Williams murderers did exactly the same thing. Laurel never took ANY of these kids to an actual therapist and she didn't put Rachel in a qualified, regulated residential treatment center either. SHE diagnosed Rachel with these labels because Rachel failed to behave the way Laurel wanted her to behave. Even my one with scary worse behaviors than Laurel EVER described from Rachel was only diagnosed with Attachment Disorder and not full blown RAD (by his highly specialized therapy team, not me).

Anyway, throwing a kid away doesn't heal RAD. It just continues to make it worse. RAD kids behave inappropriately because they don't believe people can be trusted, so they would rather get the inevitable over with on their terms and prove you were as untrustworthy as everyone before you. IF Rachel were RAD, and I'm not convinced she is, putting her in a long term CARE center where she continues to be denied therapy and medications will not make her better.

[Cheetah]

I am not convinced Rachel is RAD. Far too many of these fundie style adoptive parents arm-chair diagnosis but never seek out real professionals. Hanna Williams murderers did exactly the same thing. Laurel never took ANY of these kids to an actual therapist and she didn't put Rachel in a qualified, regulated residential treatment center either. SHE diagnosed Rachel with these labels because Rachel failed to behave the way Laurel wanted her to behave. .

I've just got to wonder what sort of behavior they were expecting from Rachel. The girl was in an orphanage in Ghana. I'm not sure what the backstory was on her family (if she'd been in the orphanage a long time or if her parents were recently deceased), but she was plucked out of that environment to a small town with lots of white people with lots of other kids in the family. Then her brother from Ghana molested her repeatedly.. not sure of the details but that can't have been pleasant... then he was 're-homed' so maybe she had some guilt from that (not her fault of course, but in the eyes of an... 8? -ish year old kid...). Then they're in a pretty conservatively religious home, so I'm guessing that there was a certain amount of thought control (I know Laurel once posted about praying loudly over Rachel while she raged. That would have pissed me off even more, personally). I just can't see that working out well without a fair amount of therapy (and backing off on the thought control from the parents). Oh and they're being homeschooled so she doesn't get to really hang out with other adults or other kids her age who aren't the biological children of her adoptive parents. Her adoptive dad takes a job that requires him to live 3 hours away, and the adoptive mom gets pregnant, miscarries, and has a depressive episode because of that (again, maybe Rachel felt some guilt because she wasn't happy about Mama getting pregnant... then the baby dies. Obviously just speculating here).

[fundiefun]

I am not convinced Rachel is RAD. Far too many of these fundie style adoptive parents arm-chair diagnosis but never seek out real professionals. Hanna Williams murderers did exactly the same thing. Laurel never took ANY of these kids to an actual therapist and she didn't put Rachel in a qualified, regulated residential treatment center either. SHE diagnosed Rachel with these labels because Rachel failed to behave the way Laurel wanted her to behave. Even my one with scary worse behaviors than Laurel EVER described from Rachel was only diagnosed with Attachment Disorder and not full blown RAD (by his highly specialized therapy team, not me).

Anyway, throwing a kid away doesn't heal RAD. It just continues to make it worse. RAD kids behave inappropriately because they don't believe people can be trusted, so they would rather get the inevitable over with on their terms and prove you were as untrustworthy as everyone before you. IF Rachel were RAD, and I'm not convinced she is, putting her in a long term CARE center where she continues to be denied therapy and medications will not make her better.

They don't have her in an actual licensed medical treatment facility :o These people are out of their minds the boy I referenced in my post was at an actual therapeutic center with licensed therapists and psychiatrists where his medical and psychological needs were met around the clock no questions asked. This is just insane I hope they don't plan on asking for a refund on their money when she comes back in worse shape than when she left.

[chaotic life]

Well, there is no money for them to want a refund ON. It's a care center that is a "ministry" and you pay what you can afford, so if you can afford nothing, you pay nothing. And yes, that should scare you sufficiently all by itself.