Closet Racist, Adoptive Mom, Annoying Narcissist ...

[Morton Fan]

Does anyone read Laurel's blog, Our Journey of Faith? ourjourneyoffaith.net/

She is one of my most loathed bloggers. To get the full picture, you'd really need to dig through the archives (try labels "adoption" or "residential care facility" and I'm sure you'll find a depressing gold mine), because she's actually gotten better in the past couple of years. But, today she made me so mad so I will rant now.

She's quiverful, has a jillion kids, adopted three older kids from Ghana, disrupted the adoption of one (search for "The Crisis") and sent the second away to reform school (she hasn't seen the maybe 10 year old daughter since). She has estranged older (biological) children which she alludes to just often and vaguely enough to get sympathy for, is SUPER defensive and freaks out when some dissents (even in the nicest ways), and badmouths her adopted children incessantly. She's also an obsessive stats-watcher for her blog (though I don't think she monetizes) and has been known to occasionally call someone out when they've read through her whole blog without commenting (???). She's super passive-aggressive.

Today's post made me SO mad. Anytime she talks about her adopted children, she finds some way to subtly criticize or condescend them (well, and she only has contact with one of the three now). Today she writes titles and descriptions of upcoming posts we can look forward to, one being:

Preferential Treatment By Strangers for our "Cute Little African Children". (after this child was given a long stemmed rose by a complete stranger in an auditorium filled with cute little girls . . . but only one "African Girl".)

Bear in mind, this "cute little African child" is in middle-school, and post-pubescent. Couldn't she, for once, decide that her adopted daughter is special and that maybe she's not just receiving attention because she's African, but because she has some other quality or value that makes her stand out? She's writtens variations of this post many times.

My toddler son is also "African," and he does tend to get a lot of attention ... but I don't assume it's just because he's a "cute little African child." I assume it's because he's absolutely darling and totally amazing. I assume the same reasoning when my caucasian baby daughter gets compliments. This lady kills me. UGH!

A couple archives:

ourjourneyoffaith.net/2010/10/dad-i-broke-something.html

ourjourneyoffaith.net/2012/01/accidents-happen.html

[jeansonly]

Holy crap. I just read the "dad I broke something" post.

Why does she seem to focus on the child being adopted? So because her other children haven't done it, it's because these kids are adopted? How about it's because children are individuals and no matter how many you have or adopt, they are all DIFFERENT?

I have a child who can and does break things, has accidents that leave us dumb founded all the time. It's just who she is is. Rather uncoordinated and not aware of her surroundings. She's totally not adopted.

I've read one post and want to slap this person.

Ok, I read the other now. Seriously so much drama, "heartache" etc over a child being a bit clueless. Calm the heck down.

[BlueChair]

Yes, Laurel is always quite the victim. You can practically hear her whining through her blog posts. Can't stand her. She's also the type to announce her pregnancy in its VERY early stages at the age of 49 and then be completely shocked when it doesn't work out.

[Morton Fan]

Holy crap. I just read the "dad I broke something" post.

Why does she seem to focus on the child being adopted? So because her other children haven't done it, it's because these kids are adopted? How about it's because children are individuals and no matter how many you have or adopt, they are all DIFFERENT?

I have a child who can and does break things, has accidents that leave us dumb founded all the time. It's just who she is is. Rather uncoordinated and not aware of her surroundings. She's totally not adopted.

I've read one post and want to slap this person.

Ok, I read the other now. Seriously so much drama, "heartache" etc over a child being a bit clueless. Calm the heck down.

Because it's all about the kids (wink).

[Morton Fan]

Yes, Laurel is always quite the victim. You can practically hear her whining through her blog posts. Can't stand her. She's also the type to announce her pregnancy in its VERY early stages at the age of 49 and then be completely shocked when it doesn't work out.

I'm glad I'm not the only one reading her blog with gritted teeth. Yes, the pregnancy thing was bizarre. She also has claimed infertility in the past, too.

Did you ever read the posts where she complains about no one noticing her weight loss? And that only MEN notice it? She's begging for her gaggle of leghumpers to say, "all the ladies are just JEALOUZ!!!!1!!11!"

[JesusFightClub]

Holy crap. I just read the "dad I broke something" post.

Why does she seem to focus on the child being adopted? So because her other children haven't done it, it's because these kids are adopted? How about it's because children are individuals and no matter how many you have or adopt, they are all DIFFERENT?

I have a child who can and does break things, has accidents that leave us dumb founded all the time. It's just who she is is. Rather uncoordinated and not aware of her surroundings. She's totally not adopted.

I've read one post and want to slap this person.

Ok, I read the other now. Seriously so much drama, "heartache" etc over a child being a bit clueless. Calm the heck down.

Well this.

Also kid did her a fucking favour. If she hadn't had to take the car to the garage, she may never have discovered that her brakes were running at 10% efficiency. Until it was rather too late.

[chaotic life]

First I think this woman is severely depressed and desperately needs some REAL help.

Second, I detest the formating style she uses on her blog, like want to shake her senseless for it.

Third, big fucking DEAL. Kids in general are often clueless. International adoptees tend to be more clueless for two reasons. First, they have major information overload. Second retreating into their own minds is a coping mechanism for trauma situations. It's not just international adoptees who do that. One of my kids used to have a nickname of "Scarecrow." I love him to bits and pieces, but I SWEAR that kid could do the most brainless things. I used to hum, "If I only had a brain," to myself just to remember that it was NOT his fault and it was NOT (most of the time) personal towards me.

As for kids breaking windows, 1.5 years ago we had our first and only broken window. My dopey children broke their GRANDFATHER's window. They thought a game of throwing ROCKS at each other was a good idea. One dopey kid ducked behind a window and dopey kid #2 threw the rock at the window trying to hit dopey kid #1. I'm not even going to say whether the children involved were adopted or bio because it's totally irrelevant. The two involved do tend to be my dopiest kids, but they both burst into tears because they were just so wound up and so focused on their bizarre game that it didn't even DAWN on either of them that rock + glass window = broken window. They both apologized to Grandpa, both got a lecture on how throwing rocks at people is NEVER a good game and all was well again. In the range of bizarre and clueless things my kids have done, that as SOO low on the priority list. Most of the bizarre and clueless things my kids do are "science experiements" gone wrong. That's what happened when they put sand in Dad's gas tank. That's NOT why someone drew a pretty picture on the top of Dad's truck with a rock.....it is why they broke my dishwasher...twice, they wanted to find a way to run it with the door open so they could see how it worked. We haven't figure out how to classify that they have broken three ice makers in as many years. And again I won't classify my children as adopted versus bio when it comes to bizarre and destructive behaviors. They are KIDS. At least when they trash my house, they learn how their world works and things can be replaced. My children's hearts cannot. Plus, years of breaking everything and they are pretty darn good at fixing things now!

The woman totally annoys me. She clearly classifies her "African" children differently from her bios. I DO judge the decision to disrupt adoptions. I've stood there, and I did NOT disrupt because it as NOT in that child's best interests, no matter how hard parenting him was on *me.* Plus, I parent a child abandoned in a disruption and while I attempted to show some compassion towards disrupted adoptions prior to mothering him, I no longer can. What was done to my son, and the lies told about him were wrong. The mentality that a child can be gotten rid of is horrific. I cannot find information that the daughter in RTC did anything to hurt someone, only that she raged and tantrumed. I've got one who raged and tantrumed for four years. When I consider the idea of throwing him away for that....it breaks my heart. I choose instead to stand with him, and to mother him until the day he died. It wasn't HIS fault that those who should have protected him hurt him to the point that was all he felt capable of doing to protect his on heart. I wasn't going to be another in a long line of adults who failed him. Hell, I'd take his tantrums and even his physical assaults of me (cause I was the only person he assaulted) if it meant he were alive again.

Also.....someone tell the idgit that fat cells store estrogen. She's post-menopausal and rapidly losing weight. Of COURSE she's going to lose her hair. She's dropping her estrogen levels like a maniac and when estrogen levels drop, hair falls out!

[Morton Fan]

First I think this woman is severely depressed and desperately needs some REAL help.

Second, I detest the formating style she uses on her blog, like want to shake her senseless for it.

Third, big fucking DEAL. Kids in general are often clueless. International adoptees tend to be more clueless for two reasons. First, they have major information overload. Second retreating into their own minds is a coping mechanism for trauma situations. It's not just international adoptees who do that. One of my kids used to have a nickname of "Scarecrow." I love him to bits and pieces, but I SWEAR that kid could do the most brainless things. I used to hum, "If I only had a brain," to myself just to remember that it was NOT his fault and it was NOT (most of the time) personal towards me.

As for kids breaking windows, 1.5 years ago we had our first and only broken window. My dopey children broke their GRANDFATHER's window. They thought a game of throwing ROCKS at each other was a good idea. One dopey kid ducked behind a window and dopey kid #2 threw the rock at the window trying to hit dopey kid #1. I'm not even going to say whether the children involved were adopted or bio because it's totally irrelevant. The two involved do tend to be my dopiest kids, but they both burst into tears because they were just so wound up and so focused on their bizarre game that it didn't even DAWN on either of them that rock + glass window = broken window. They both apologized to Grandpa, both got a lecture on how throwing rocks at people is NEVER a good game and all was well again. In the range of bizarre and clueless things my kids have done, that as SOO low on the priority list. Most of the bizarre and clueless things my kids do are "science experiements" gone wrong. That's what happened when they put sand in Dad's gas tank. That's NOT why someone drew a pretty picture on the top of Dad's truck with a rock.....it is why they broke my dishwasher...twice, they wanted to find a way to run it with the door open so they could see how it worked. We haven't figure out how to classify that they have broken three ice makers in as many years. And again I won't classify my children as adopted versus bio when it comes to bizarre and destructive behaviors. They are KIDS. At least when they trash my house, they learn how their world works and things can be replaced. My children's hearts cannot. Plus, years of breaking everything and they are pretty darn good at fixing things now!

The woman totally annoys me. She clearly classifies her "African" children differently from her bios. I DO judge the decision to disrupt adoptions. I've stood there, and I did NOT disrupt because it as NOT in that child's best interests, no matter how hard parenting him was on *me.* Plus, I parent a child abandoned in a disruption and while I attempted to show some compassion towards disrupted adoptions prior to mothering him, I no longer can. What was done to my son, and the lies told about him were wrong. The mentality that a child can be gotten rid of is horrific. I cannot find information that the daughter in RTC did anything to hurt someone, only that she raged and tantrumed. I've got one who raged and tantrumed for four years. When I consider the idea of throwing him away for that....it breaks my heart. I choose instead to stand with him, and to mother him until the day he died. It wasn't HIS fault that those who should have protected him hurt him to the point that was all he felt capable of doing to protect his on heart. I wasn't going to be another in a long line of adults who failed him. Hell, I'd take his tantrums and even his physical assaults of me (cause I was the only person he assaulted) if it meant he were alive again.

Also.....someone tell the idgit that fat cells store estrogen. She's post-menopausal and rapidly losing weight. Of COURSE she's going to lose her hair. She's dropping her estrogen levels like a maniac and when estrogen levels drop, hair falls out!

As usual, ChaoticLife, QFT. I could bold your entire comment. I agree on adoption disruptions, too ... if you wouldn't do that to a bio kid, why an adopted kid? Parenting is a commitment. She infuriates me.

Also, your hair falling out comments crack me up. Sadly, though you're right, she would probably delete any comment suggesting it and then would post about how she's being badgered in the comments section.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I just read the "dady I broke something" post.

Holy fuck.

She managed to use the word "adoptives" or "adopted" SEVEN times, in a post that has nothing to do with adoption.

No, being adopted doesn't somehow make kids clumsy. Some kids are naturally more aware of their surroundings than others. My oldest never walked into car mirrors. My middle one did all time. The middle child was also the one who constantly had bruises on her forehead from falling down stairs, jumping off tables, jumping off the sofa, falling off a swing, etc. She's not adopted.

My husband had a unique ability to break things, including my late grandmother's out-of-production china dishes. He's not adopted either. He's not stupid, he understands the value of caring for things and he's not being deliberately destructive. He simply has a visual-spatial disorder. It's not the end of the world - we recognize it, we work around it and life goes on. The end.

Also - if she truly had faith, wouldn't she see this is a miracle because, as JFC pointed out, it led to the discovery of the bad brakes and therefore averted a potential tragedy?

[Wolfie]

Ugh, we regularly broke windows in our house growing up. It was a 1930's house with a lot of original glass- wiffle balls broke the windows, hands occasionally went through them (yeah, that was hard to explain when I was a teen with a stitched up wrist from that one), things fell into them. My dad broke one once while taking out a tree. It is not an adoptive/bio kid thing. It's a kid thing to break things. Their brains don't operate like our brains.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I read the "Accidents Happen" and got even angrier.

Isn't one of the basic commandments of parenting Thou Shalt Not Compare Children? She doesn't give it a rest, does she? It's all "in 27 years of parenting 11 other children.." Well, THIS child isn't one of those other children, and she deserves to be treated as an individual.

Why is she so hung up on the apology and remorse part? If my kids DELIBERATELY hurt someone or damaged something, then you bet I'd expect an apology. This, though, was clearly an accident. Why should she be remorseful?

Even worse - there is NOT ONE WORD about how her daughter was. If that was my child, my first thought would be "is she hurt?", not "will the wall be ok?"

I'm concerned about these kids. Mom can't stop obsessing about how different they are, comparing them unfavorably to their siblings and talking about how much stress she has because of some innocent and not totally unusual kid behavior.

[chaotic life]

I just remembered, we've had two broken windows. Stupid, arrogant, drunk neighbor came pounding on the glass pane and shattered a window right over where my toddler was dancing. My children were horrified. Acciental broken windows we get, but a grown man that out of control was scary for them.

When I started my new job, my boss saw a picture of my kids and asked which ones were "mine." Fortunately, a co-worker who it a bit better jumped in while I was standing there stunned and said, "Well they are ALL hers, of course. Do you mean which ones did she give birth to?"

I deplore this insistence on classifying children by their adoption status. When our newest kiddo came home, I was reassuring him one day that we do NOT get rid of children in this house, a lesson he desperately needed to learn after being dumped with strangers with no warning for the henious act of not sharing his library book (yes really, that was the catalyst to throw him out). I was pointing out some poor behavior by a sibling and how we don't get rid of her for it and he spate out, "Yes, but she is your birthchild." My first thought was, "Oh hell no, do NOT let my children hear that vile word out of your mouth." My second was, "OMG, how can ANY child have that word in their vocabulary and use it to classify how they are somehow less than another child in the home."

Sadly, in his reality, the birthchildren were kept and the adoptedchildren were thrown away.

So, what IS the story of the birthchild this blogger threw away? I see NO mention of him on the blog and apparently her whiny defense for throwing away two other chidren is that she obiously IS treating them as if they were born to her, because she threw away one she gave birth too as well. No damn wonder her adult children are estranged from her if she truly thinks that ALL children are disposable!

[chaotic life]

FTR, I feel the need to point out something. These parents who disrupt like to wrap themselves in the cloak of RAD....poor me, poor family, child is unsalvable and broken.

Here's the reality about RAD. First, they have debated eliminating the diagnosis entirely because of the self diagnosed adopters who use it as a mantle to justify their abuse of their new children. (And no, this blogger specifically states they did NOT get therapy for their son before they threw him away.) Second, true RAD is a DIAD. It is not the CHILD that suffers from RAD, it is the child/primary caregiver relationship.

I had one diagnosed with RAD because he had medical issues. I was forced to be mother AND nurse and no, he could not trust and bond with me when I was the source of his real, physical pain. It was not until I got aggressive at having myself removed from his direct patient care that he was able to bond with me as mom. That was not his fault nor mine. I learned some pretty vital lessons in that situation, and I found my voice to plow over ignorant doctors and nurses who kept pushing something that was damaging "us."

You cannot call a child RAD and insist that you play no part in their diagnosis and struggle. RAD is not a child, it's a diad. If and when there is RAD, it is disconnected, lack of bonding between mother AND child. It's a two-way street, not a one way blame game. That's why RAD children often do SO well when they move into new homes, because the diad changes and usually the types of mothers who are willing to parent these children are skilled with RAD struggles.

I don't say that to blame mom. I simply say it to point out that when an adoption fails, there is plenty of responsibility to the parents, all imo. The child is merely doing what a hurting child knows to do--survive. It's not JUST the child that is the problem.

[Morton Fan]

FTR, I feel the need to point out something. These parents who disrupt like to wrap themselves in the cloak of RAD....poor me, poor family, child is unsalvable and broken.

Here's the reality about RAD. First, they have debated eliminating the diagnosis entirely because of the self diagnosed adopters who use it as a mantle to justify their abuse of their new children. (And no, this blogger specifically states they did NOT get therapy for their son before they threw him away.) Second, true RAD is a DIAD. It is not the CHILD that suffers from RAD, it is the child/primary caregiver relationship.

I had one diagnosed with RAD because he had medical issues. I was forced to be mother AND nurse and no, he could not trust and bond with me when I was the source of his real, physical pain. It was not until I got aggressive at having myself removed from his direct patient care that he was able to bond with me as mom. That was not his fault nor mine. I learned some pretty vital lessons in that situation, and I found my voice to plow over ignorant doctors and nurses who kept pushing something that was damaging "us."

You cannot call a child RAD and insist that you play no part in their diagnosis and struggle. RAD is not a child, it's a diad. If and when there is RAD, it is disconnected, lack of bonding between mother AND child. It's a two-way street, not a one way blame game. That's why RAD children often do SO well when they move into new homes, because the diad changes and usually the types of mothers who are willing to parent these children are skilled with RAD struggles.

I don't say that to blame mom. I simply say it to point out that when an adoption fails, there is plenty of responsibility to the parents, all imo. The child is merely doing what a hurting child knows to do--survive. It's not JUST the child that is the problem.

The son whose adoption they disrupted is rumored to have molested both of his Ghanian sisters. Now ... this is a tricky situation, to be sure. But you can guarantee I would NOT be sharing that information on my public blog, for the privacy and protection of my children. She did not come out and say this EXACTLY, but very clearly alluded to it in multiple comments on other people's blogs, mentioned how the kids had been subject to molestation in their orphanage, etc.

Laurel also had a complex about how that boy was favored by strangers, family friends, and even the police department (?? and how people felt so sorry for him because he was adopted, etc. She scrubbed her blog somewhat after he left their home. I do not understand her pervasive need to make sure the adopted children (I keep using this phrase even though I insulted her for doing the same ... hopefully our underlying reasoning is very different) don't get favoritism. I do not think they need to be favorites, per se, but I personally think that they could benefit from MORE attention, love, affection, and positivity because of the lack of it in their early years. If nothing else, they deserve every bit as much. It's as if she feels in competition with the children she adopted. Well, fear not, Laurel; you only have one "adopted child" left, and she hardly ever garners more than an off-handed mention on your blog. Her beloved Hosanna is clearly her favored child and can do no wrong.

ETA: this is only my opinion, of course. But personally, I feel Laurel was looking for a way to disrupt the adoption, and the molestation accusation may have been fabricated. I have nothing to go on to support this, except a personal hunch due to her extreme lack of affection and severe anger toward him from the beginning.

[nelliebelle1197]

The son whose adoption they disrupted is rumored to have molested both of his Ghanian sisters. Now ... this is a tricky situation, to be sure. But you can guarantee I would NOT be sharing that information on my public blog, for the privacy and protection of my children. She did not come out and say this EXACTLY, but very clearly alluded to it in multiple comments on other people's blogs, mentioned how the kids had been subject to molestation in their orphanage, etc.

Laurel also had a complex about how that boy was favored by strangers, family friends, and even the police department (?? and how people felt so sorry for him because he was adopted, etc. She scrubbed her blog somewhat after he left their home. I do not understand her pervasive need to make sure the adopted children (I keep using this phrase even though I insulted her for doing the same ... hopefully our underlying reasoning is very different) don't get favoritism. I do not think they need to be favorites, per se, but I personally think that they could benefit from MORE attention, love, affection, and positivity because of the lack of it in their early years. If nothing else, they deserve every bit as much. It's as if she feels in competition with the children she adopted. Well, fear not, Laurel; you only have one "adopted child" left, and she hardly ever garners more than an off-handed mention on your blog. Her beloved Hosanna is clearly her favored child and can do no wrong.

ETA: this is only my opinion, of course. But personally, I feel Laurel was looking for a way to disrupt the adoption, and the molestation accusation may have been fabricated. I have nothing to go on to support this, except a personal hunch due to her extreme lack of affection and severe anger toward him from the beginning.

So are any of the adopted children in the home? Jacob was sent away, Rachel is in an institution for "RAD". What about the third, whose name I have yet to see? Also, some of the birth children are rather ... interesting.... looking, no?

[NurseNell]

OMG, from the photo it appears she wore white tights to her son or daughter's wedding! Even I wouldn't do that! :o

[nelliebelle1197]

OMG, from the photo it appears she wore white tights to her son or daughter's wedding! Even I wouldn't do that! :o

I noticed that, too! WITH BLACK SHOES! And some of the kids had on cheap flipflops

[Morton Fan]

So are any of the adopted children in the home? Jacob was sent away, Rachel is in an institution for "RAD". What about the third, whose name I have yet to see?

Yes. Sarah, the lone adoptee, languishes at home. She seems to be quite athletic (track), but I've never noticed Laurel discuss her having a single friend, Laurel doing anything with her by herself, her reaction to both of her biological siblings being sent away, etc. The only post that has been dedicated to her (in my memory) is one in which Laurel discussed how short she was.

Also, some of the birth children are rather ... interesting.... looking, no?

Maybe THAT'S why none of them but Sarah are getting a long-stemmed rose.

[bionicmlle]

I follow her.

I agree that she is depressed and her fundamentalist perspective has interfered with family relationships. She has been rather guarded about what has gone on with the older children and the "broken" relationships however I often wonder if her determination to make the "marriage crisis" work has had a role in this. I don't think she gets much appreciation or validation in her real life and uses the blog to do so. She, like so many of the people we comment on, sees her blog as a "ministry."

I also agree that the situation with the adopted son was very difficult -- I don't know what I'd do if one of my children was molesting another. I don't know a thing about adoption but it seemed, at the time, that the adoption wasn't "final" and the boy was placed with a more "suitable" family that probably had no girls at home?

[amydamy]

I just read the "dady I broke something" post.

Holy fuck.

She managed to use the word "adoptives" or "adopted" SEVEN times, in a post that has nothing to do with adoption.

No, being adopted doesn't somehow make kids clumsy. Some kids are naturally more aware of their surroundings than others. My oldest never walked into car mirrors. My middle one did all time. The middle child was also the one who constantly had bruises on her forehead from falling down stairs, jumping off tables, jumping off the sofa, falling off a swing, etc. She's not adopted.

My husband had a unique ability to break things, including my late grandmother's out-of-production china dishes. He's not adopted either. He's not stupid, he understands the value of caring for things and he's not being deliberately destructive. He simply has a visual-spatial disorder. It's not the end of the world - we recognize it, we work around it and life goes on. The end.

Also - if she truly had faith, wouldn't she see this is a miracle because, as JFC pointed out, it led to the discovery of the bad brakes and therefore averted a potential tragedy?

I'm not adopted and running into a side view mirror is totally something I would do, I have done just not hard enough to hurt anything but myself. I walk into stuff all the time I have a permanent bruise from walking into the foot board of my bed .

[NurseNell]

What is this marriage crisis she keeps mentioning? Infidelity? That's all that comes to my mind. And how did it play into the severing of relationships with her 6 older children?

In the wedding photo there are 2 African girls, do they both live at home? I thought I read that Rachel doesn't. Is she the one then with RAD and is in residential treatment? And there was a boy but his adoption was disrupted? Did another family adopt him?

In the wedding photo doesn't the girl with the purple top and back leggings on remind you of the Arndt daughter? It's her face that looks like Wizzy and Mama Arndt.

And what is with the Mama and Papa throughout the blog. I know some people use those terms but it just sounds so odd, especially because she speaks of herself in the 3rd degree, like Mama did this, Mama is going scrapbooking.

[NurseNell]

The past 2 weeks have been TOUGH ... with Little Miss ... with my Marriage ... with relationships with some of our Big Kids. And, in the midst of some of the most difficult stuff that I have ever had to walk through, some of YOU have chosen to judge, condemn, verbally assault, and just plain kick me when I am down.

While I was laying by the side of the road, waiting for the Good Samaritan, you came along and spit on me. While you heard by heartfelt cries and read my anguished prayers, you chose to kick dirt in my face. While I tell you that I am seeking the Lord, you condemn me because I don't fit into the "box" of what you believe a Good Christian Woman should look like. While I have so often admitted my failures and weaknesses, you continue to expect me to be perfect.

I have deleted the entire post and comments from last weekend, and I have now enabled Comment Moderation on my blog. I have allowed many, many of you to respectfully disagree with me over the years. We have had some good discussions, despite our disagreements. However, the comments that I received last weekend crossed the line. There was not an ounce of respect in them.

Is this deleted post and comments available in the Wayback Machine? The above quote is from April 5 2012.

[NurseNell]

Is this deleted post and comments available in the Wayback Machine? The above quote is from April 5 2012.

I checked, no, it's not there.

[Dinorah]

I read the "Accidents Happen" and got even angrier.

Isn't one of the basic commandments of parenting Thou Shalt Not Compare Children? She doesn't give it a rest, does she? It's all "in 27 years of parenting 11 other children.." Well, THIS child isn't one of those other children, and she deserves to be treated as an individual.

Why is she so hung up on the apology and remorse part? If my kids DELIBERATELY hurt someone or damaged something, then you bet I'd expect an apology. This, though, was clearly an accident. Why should she be remorseful?

Even worse - there is NOT ONE WORD about how her daughter was. If that was my child, my first thought would be "is she hurt?", not "will the wall be ok?"

I'm concerned about these kids. Mom can't stop obsessing about how different they are, comparing them unfavorably to their siblings and talking about how much stress she has because of some innocent and not totally unusual kid behavior.

Right, when she said "it's just as well she didn't stop herself with her hands" I assumed the following sentence would have been because she could have hurt herself or something, not that she would have made more holes in the wall.

Unlike the "china rolls" blogger or the one desparate to stretch her daughters' hair, this one doesn't even seem to make a pretence of how much she loves and terasures her adopted children. People like these shouldn't be able to adopt, you should adopt because you want a child, not to supposedly save their soul and otherwise treat them as a burden.

[Dixiebelle]

One of my sons recently bumped into my husband's side mirror - we were standing there watching, he didn't hit it hard at all - and it fell off. Sometimes shit just happens, lady! And by the way, it only cost $25 to order a brand new one online and install it himself.

Good thing you took yours in, though, because the brakes were so dangerous - right? Wasn't God good to give you that warning? But HELL NO - you blame THAT on the kid too?? What the hell??!

Just reading those two pieces pisses me off. Those poor kids! She is never going to let them forget how wonderful she is to take them in. Blech.

I don't think I could ever follow her blog. Besides the content, the one-sentence, centered paragraphs make me stabby.

Oh yes.

I said "stabby".