THIS is why fundies scare me

[Dinorah]

Two small chicken breasts is what I might have for a meal, and I while I don't eat like a bird I certainly don't have the biggest appetite around either. Anyway, I can't imagine Jesus as he is portrayed in the gospels being ok with the idea of growing children going hungry because their mother keeps having more than she can raise properly, and refuses to have a job or accept WIC because of her idiotic ideology.

Oh and I also love how she defends herself by saying that at least she doesn't feed her children processed food all the time like everybody else does...plenty of non-fundies are capable of preparing healthy food for their kids, and in actually decent quantities

[JesusFightClub]

I can't cook, so for Small and Smaller we do cheap kids' ready meals (they like spaghetti bolognaise) or soup and buttered toast with grapes or blueberries as a dessert.

How in the fucking fires of hell can 2 chicken breasts feed 11? That is utter stupidity. 2 chicken breasts can't always feed a male adult. Growing kids, nope.

[SoybeanQueen]

Chicken in the blender is really gross. Reminds me of my high school friend who had his jaw wired shut after a car crash, and used to horrify us by putting weird stuff in the blender so he could drink it with a straw. Sooooooo disgusting.

Why does she think that most families are getting less protein/nutrition than 2 chicken breasts for 11 people? Who are these families that are eating all processed stuff and fast food? I'm sure there are some, but is it really that much of an accomplishment to do slightly better than nutritionally void?

[lilith]

Chicken in the blender is really gross. Reminds me of my high school friend who had his jaw wired shut after a car crash, and used to horrify us by putting weird stuff in the blender so he could drink it with a straw. Sooooooo disgusting.

Why does she think that most families are getting less protein/nutrition than 2 chicken breasts for 11 people? Who are these families that are eating all processed stuff and fast food? I'm sure there are some, but is it really that much of an accomplishment to do slightly better than nutritionally void?

Our family got takeaway tonight. Yep, from a nasty non organic fast food chain. My kids still ate better than hers. They each had:

One roast chicken drumstick

A handful of chips

A couple of tablespoons of peas

A cob of corn

A few tablespoons of carrot

A piece of pumpkin

A low fat chocolate milk box.

I wouldn't feed them like that all the time, but tonight I was that evil mum at the drive through, and my kids still got a much more nourishing meal than the kids of the sanctimonious fundie professional homemaker's kids did.

[OkToBeTakei]

My 10 year old so far today has eaten. An orange, and greek yoghurt at 6am. Following her swim meet she had a dippy egg with two slices of wholemeal toast and an apple. She is already asking what is for lunch and it is only 11.30am. I fear she would most definitely be a 'failure to thrive' statistic if she lived with that woman. Those poor kids.

[luv2run]

I went to bed thinking about this last night. I think it's the reason that though, even to some we may seem fundie due to our family size and such, that I've always had a not so great relationship with them. And don't agree with the mentality.

I saw, last year, the older group of girls in our group get very, very thin. I thought maybe I was overreacting to it (I had an eating disorder in high school/early twenties), but then a friend of mine who had been away from the group for a few years saw them (it was at our HS graduation ceremony), she said, "OMG why are they all so skinny??? Do they eat?"

A runner friend of mine knows a lot of these families very well because she married into one of them. She doesn't play their games, and I only saw her at the gym (I was so glad I found someone I could relate to!), and she was telling me that yes, just like the other poster mention, some of these families do not let their kids eat so they can stay thin. At first I thought she was just exaggerating. She gave me a look and said she wishes it was all made up.

You can practice your faith without starving your kids. Being Catholic, yes there are times when we are called to fast, but number one it states specifically 14 years of age and older, and there are host of other reasons you should NOT fast. What if some of those kids are hypoglycemic? Like my 9 year old? I don't think he will ever be able to fully participate in fasting when he gets older. Heck my husband has a horrible time because he is the same, so he just gives up something most of the time (like a sweet). Pregnant women, the elderly, and those who are ill are specifically told NOT TO FAST. It's in Church teaching. I joke all the time that I never have to fast during Lent because I'm nursing or pregnant. Pass the bread and butter, I'm all over it.

Self induced penances are one thing. Don't do it to your children. I'd love to give them a piece of my mind. These "sacrifices" don't serve God. They serve themselves and their own pride. So they can post it all on their blog and show the world how holy they are.

Seriously...it's stuff like this that makes my blood boil. And they wonder why their kids leave their faith. Ugh.

[Dinorah]

The following comment bothered me for various reasons:

"I find it interesting that you say glibbly, “God would not want his children to go withoutâ€â€¦yet throughout Scripture, there are countless times in history when those who were God’s people (either Jew or Christian) who did indeed have to go without…or very simple fare…like manna for 40 years…or the famine during Joseph’s time. Or the Apostle Paul shipwrecked and other trials…or Christians during WWII, trying to help the Jews, and the Jews themselves. The Love of God isn’t always manifest in the “bounty†we see that HE gives us, but often in the sufficiency of what appears to be the lack that we see…faith girl!"

It's one thing to not have enough to eat as a result of being a refugee, or there being a famine or a war, another as a result of your parents having more children than they can afford and refusing to do things that might improve the situation. Oh, and this myth the fundies have, of Christians helping Jews during WWII while the Holocaust was perpetrated by evil atheists, or whatever. Yes, some Christians helped Jews, sometimes taking great risks (and some of the people who helped Jews certainly didn't lead very "Christian" lives, just think of Oscar Schindler), but many just ignored the situation, like the pope of the time, or went along with Nazism. Hey, one of the Nazi slogans is "Got mit uns" (God with us). And Hitler could have never built and acted out his ideas without being able to rely on centuries of Christian anti-semitism.

[browngrl]

There are many people in this world who are starving or making do with minimal provisions. The difference with the Gen. Ced. group is most people don't choose to starve their children. She made a choice to have more children than she could afford. She made a choice not to get a job. She made a choice not to apply for welfare. She made a choice not to have a garden big enough to feed her family. Most of the starving people of the world would kill to have her choices.

[fakepigtails73]

This is just so sad. I understand being in an occasional pinch and having to stretch the food budget, but when it is a life style?

Maybe I can teach her a thing or two..... Last week, we were tight, so for dinner one night we made a big pot of chili, about $ 8.00. Dinner one night, two lunches for me at work and chili dogs tonight, and we STILL had left overs! Kelly just needs to learn how to budget.

I'm pretty sure that in Kelly's case and other "make-'em-starve" fundie mothers like her the knowledge of food budgeting is there somewhere, they just do what they do because they're so deluded that they think it gives them bonus "godly" points. As in: "Yes, a meal comprised of two chicken breast, an old celery stalk, 4 mushrooms, gravy and a pinch of rice becomes a "casserole" for 11 people in my house; if we'd eat more we'd be slothful and you know what the Lord said about sloth! Never mind that, for the most part, it's laziness and a martyr complex on Kelly's part. Add in too much pride to ask for govt. food stamps, which I'm sure would help for a nine children family and a preg. mom. Too much pride is a sin, right Kelly?

Oh, Kelly: please stop breeding. You can't even feed the ones you have decently! Don't mess with your kids' growth.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Kids have big appetites most of the time, its certainly not enough. I think my little brother (aged 10), could eat that in a day. He seems to be eating constantly.

You chose to have that many kids. Now you have to find some way to afford to feed them. She could start growing food in her garden, or she could go on food stamps. Anything to stop her children from starving.

Way to give your child unhealthy eating habits for life, theyre probably going to gain a ton of weight once they get out of there.

[BlueberryBird]

Her girls that "eat like a bird" comment strikes me. I'm thinking they feel they must, because they're just girls, and to be adequately feminine and servant hearted and meek and mild and all that other bullshit, they've been trained to eat less and give their hunger up to the glory of God.

I have never eaten like a freakin' bird. It just makes me cranky.

These people apparently never see birds eat. I've got three, and they are progressively more expensive to feed as you go down in size. My little conure eats all day long--she costs a fortune compared to the macaw. She also eats a rainbow of organic fruits and veggies a day. Then, she also eats off my plates. It makes me sad to think that I feed my little bird better than these people feed their kids. (heck, I buy her $4 organic red pepper and blueberries because her tiny body can't handle pesticides; I buy cheaper stuff for myself!)

Also, the cheese bag comment: if budgets are tight, why are you buying bags of shredded cheese? I don't eat cheese, so I have no idea how much that costs, but I'm doubting it's a budget item. Buy cheaper food staples so you don't have to ration them like that. A bag of plain brown lentils is .69. A bag of chickpeas is .99. If you soak the chickpeas, cook them, puree them with whatever into a sort of hummus, you can make a tasty spread to use like cheese in quesadillas or casseroles. Cheap, protein rich, high fiber, and tasty.

[chaotic life]

I keep stores of dry beans, lentils and bags of rice in my pantry. I don't serve it all the time but it is there in case we DO hit a rough patch and I need to have reserves for healthy, cheap meals. I also have a cow in my freezer.

I know fundies who ration their children's food specifically so that those kids don't cost them lots in clothing and food prices. I knew a family once where the father went years out of work. The mother reached a point where she was actually feeding the children ONE piece of fruit for breakfast and a small dinner around 3-4pm and NOTHING ELSE per day. Oh she swore it was plenty filling, but no one dared to point out to her that long-term starvation will make the body shut down the hunger cues. I've seen fundies obssessed with having their daughters thin and beautiful at ALL COSTS. I've eaten in the home of a fundie doctor and his wife who were furious that their new adoptive daughters wanted to eat more than they were served and would get FAT if they were allowed to eat. They got a family size KFC meal to serve their family with 14 children and our family with 3 kids--the family meal that's supposed to serve 6-8 people. WE opted to view it as a snack and fed our kids on the way home. They had an actual lock on their fridge and their kids had nothing to eat afterward.

I WISH I could say this mentality is rare in fundie circles, but it was unbelievable common in the families I knew.

[fundiefan]

I think that is awful. When I was married, that would have been a meal for the two of us and maybe there would have been something leftover for lunch the next day.

I'm all for stretching what you have but there is no way to stretch two chicken breasts for that many people.

[tinuviel]

My husband and I spend at least $180 a week for just the two of us. Groceries are more expensive in our are than in Kelly's, but not THAT much more. We also cook nearly everything from scratch, eat lots of cheap veggies, and do plenty of soups with homemade chicken broth. Which is all to say that we're pretty thrifty. I can't even imagine.

Also, I *love* to feed kids good food when I'm babysitting, and I try to include them in the cooking if they're old enough. There's something really satisfying about feeding a child a good lunch that you know will help them grow and thrive. Kelly must have pretty well shut off the nurturing part of her psyche...seems more into self-imposed martyrdom and making a statement than into actually making a happy home.

She's as though she fed the five thousand with her meager rice goop and her leg humpers are eating it all up. It's like they're hoping for food multiplication miracles, and choosing to focus on the "fed 11 people" part instead of the "two chicken breasts" part.

I know some families who strictly ration their kids' food, saying that "they eat themselves sick whenever we don't". No shit they eat themselves sick, it's because they're usually starving. If you actually FED them appropriately they'd be able to regulate themselves just fine. *rage*

[Wolfie]

I I've eaten in the home of a fundie doctor and his wife who were furious that their new adoptive daughters wanted to eat more than they were served and would get FAT if they were allowed to eat.

I wonder- is it because the father is supposed to be in charge? When I was a kid my dad had no idea how much kids needed to eat to stay healthy and I remember many times he would get mad at me for eating too much and my mom would step in and overrule him. I still get the look sometimes, and my BMI is 23, so I'm fine. For unknown reasons my sister never got the same treatment.

I do know kids will go through phases of eating like crazy and eating like birds between growth spurts. But these parent act as if the eating like birds is the only normal phase.

[kb2]

We grew up with a can of veggies and a can of fruit every night. People are always really down on canned produce, but it's better than not eating plants at all!

And as for chicken not being nutritious--the complaint is that chicken in a store isn't as nutritious as the chicken of yesteryear, not that it has no nutritional value at all. And if you do believe chicken has the nutritional value of air, that means you fed your family rice, 1/3 of a mushroom and 2/11ths of a celery and a salad and you should be ashamed of yourself.

[samurai_sarah]

From the comments, in reply to a critical poster:

L- says:

January 19, 2013 at 8:46 pm

I find it interesting that you say glibbly, “God would not want his children to go withoutâ€â€¦yet throughout Scripture, there are countless times in history when those who were God’s people (either Jew or Christian) who did indeed have to go without…or very simple fare…like manna for 40 years…or the famine during Joseph’s time. Or the Apostle Paul shipwrecked and other trials…or Christians during WWII, trying to help the Jews, and the Jews themselves. The Love of God isn’t always manifest in the “bounty†we see that HE gives us, but often in the sufficiency of what appears to be the lack that we see…faith girl!

:angry-banghead: :angry-cussingblack:

For one thing, yes, famines happened for a variety of reasons. People didn't (and don't) starve for a laugh, but because there really is nothing to eat. Starving your own children, when help is available, is a completely different kettle of fish! It's wrong. Get help!

For another, did she really pull the WW2-card, trying to make out that Christians were so, so persecuted, because they were all nice people who helped the Jews? I just... I don't even know where to begin...I can't...I'm going to go lie down somewhere now to recover from the headache I got, banging my head against the wall.

[jenny_islander]

I predict post-starvation obesity and/or obsession with hiding food for every single one of these poor kids as adults.

Don't get me wrong, I'm fat myself, but being fat because your parents starved you to the point that you react the way the survivors of Stalingrad or Theresienstadt did to having food again . . . "But even you, when your children ask for bread, give them bread and not stones." Jesus was pointing out that this is ordinary decent human behavior and the Christian is to do even better than that!

You know, I get mad when I hear about polygamists "bleeding the Beast" by pretending that most of the sisterwives are single parents and applying for aid, but can't Kelly bleed the Beast just a little? Even if she decided that it would be special and holy to live only on WIC, SNAP, CFSP, and TEFAP, the kids would be getting more food than they are now!

[lauraloralara]

i just can't understand this type of mentality. I wonder if she realizes that this is going to make her children resentful of God if they believe that they are STARVING, because yes, they are starving, Kelly, because God "ordained it."

[BravaAmica]

This is what my 8YO ate yesterday. Keep in mind, he eats a more if he has speed skating practice and a LOT more if he has a meet (Those last about five hours and he'd have at least five races, so he needs lots of healthy calories for energy):

Breakfast: 1 apple, 2 bacon (American- crispy style, not delicious, proper bacon that I can't find over here), whole grain toast with peanut butter, big glass of milk. Then a banana ten minutes after he finished eating breakkie because he was "starving" :roll:

Snack: Thermos of ice water, two granola bars (as a treat because he was playing with friends. He'd get fruit and a bit of cheese otherwise)

Lunch: 2c vegetable soup, 1 1/2 grilled turkey & cheese sandwiches

Snack: hummus, whole wheat tortilla, 1c grapes

Dinner: Sloppy Joes Yes, I know not the nicest but still a good way to stretch ground beef with shredded vegetables (he had two, served on regular sized buns, not sliders), 2c homemade cole slaw (cabbage & shredded carrots), fruit salad

Snack: air popped popcorn (about 5c in his bowl). And about 1/2c jelly beans (It was movie night, sue me for giving him candy, lol.)

If he has practice, he'll eat a much bigger lunch and his after school snack will be your basic ploughman's lunch- sliced cheese, cold sliced meat, whole wheat bread or crackers, and raw fruit and vege. If he has a skate meet, he'll eat bigger breakfasts, lunches and all of his snacks will be the ploughman's lunch. I realize my son doesn't eat as much as others- because he's in a year round sport that requires a minimum of 12 hours of practice a week. But still, he'd starve if he was in our fair Kate's family.

I just want to show up at her house and feed her kids until they pop. Feed them good food- fresh fruit, real vegetables, baked chicken, homemade biscuits, cookies and lots of hot chocolate. There is no reason for those kids to be as hungry as they are- there is assistance available for ensuring they eat enough.

...edited for riffles

[jafrmano]

Wow! 2 chicken breast for 11? No way would that be enough.

Now I have 4 boys aged 15-8 and they try to eat up my entire budget someday a but to never hear in my house they are still hungry after a meal. Snacks are limited in my house mostly because most snacks just aren't good to sit around and eat all day. They have a drawer in the refrigerator that has fruits and veggies in it and they can eat an unlimited amount of anything in the drawer when they are hungry between meals. We also have a snack shelf in the pantry with crackers, raisins, some cookies, fruit snacks and such. They are limited to 2 items per day from this shelf.

My 10 year old can eat when he is going through growth spurts and I can't imagine limited him on meals like she describes. He would be hoarding food if he had access to it if I did that to him. It is only 9:20 am and he has had 4 eggs, a ham and cheese sandwich, an apple, a grapefruit, and half a cucumber. He runs in 5ks and has already been out running to train for an upcoming race so he is hungry.

[Sumeri]

I predict post-starvation obesity and/or obsession with hiding food for every single one of these poor kids as adults.

QFT.

This kind of food rationing makes me absolutely ragey. I grew up hungry, not due to lack of funds but because of various mental illnesses of my mother's. I never, ever had enough food, resulting in malnutrition,fainting spells and various and sundry health problems as a teenager. And guess what happened? I left home as early as I could and gained SEVENTY FIVE POUNDS that first year. I have had a battle with my weight ever since.

Kids need food. Period. They need to eat when they feel hungry and learn how to recognize their body's cues by having a variety of healthy foods available. I haven't always been able to afford every kind of fresh fruit and produce, but my kids always had a variety of healthy snacks: beans, nuts, frozen or canned vegetables, seasonal fruits (like apples in the fall) available to them. Even when we were drastically low on cash I made sure the pantry was full and I would sure as hell use WIC or food stamps if I ever needed to do it to feed my children.

[dairyfreelife]

I know fundies who ration their children's food specifically so that those kids don't cost them lots in clothing and food prices. I knew a family once where the father went years out of work. The mother reached a point where she was actually feeding the children ONE piece of fruit for breakfast and a small dinner around 3-4pm and NOTHING ELSE per day. Oh she swore it was plenty filling, but no one dared to point out to her that long-term starvation will make the body shut down the hunger cues. I've seen fundies obssessed with having their daughters thin and beautiful at ALL COSTS. I've eaten in the home of a fundie doctor and his wife who were furious that their new adoptive daughters wanted to eat more than they were served and would get FAT if they were allowed to eat. They got a family size KFC meal to serve their family with 14 children and our family with 3 kids--the family meal that's supposed to serve 6-8 people. WE opted to view it as a snack and fed our kids on the way home. They had an actual lock on their fridge and their kids had nothing to eat afterward.

I WISH I could say this mentality is rare in fundie circles, but it was unbelievable common in the families I knew.

I have a cousin from China who was adopted at the age of four from an orphanage. She had a serious problem with overeating to the point she's nearly make herself sick. I know you already know this, Chaotic Life, but seems lots of adoptive parents don't get that children adopted from institution settings aren't used to much food and will overeat and hoard. My cousin is doing much better now with food. She's learned that food is always available, as much or as little as she wants. She's not fat in any way, shape, or form.

Back to the crazy topic at hand, that is absolutely not enough food for 11 people. I could eat a small chicken breast or most of a chicken breast, rice and veggies as a child on my own. A whole breast with a side of rice with veggies and a salad is a meal and has been since I was a teenager. There is no way those children are getting enough to eat even with a salad. I seriously think Kelly's family and the family with 9 daughters in the comments need CPS called on them. I rarely say that because most things like stupid teachings and even the stacked beds didn't seem enough of a reason (the children seemed healthy and appeared to get enough food, so I didn't think it'd be worth it and it seems CPS had already been there a time or two). But starving your children proudly is a whole other matter.

[chaotic life]

I have one who will eat until he literally pukes. Parenting him WAS challenging when he came home. I did not want to control his food because kids from this background will never self regulate if yo do it FOR them. However, he had been home nearly a year and was still gorging until he vomitted about 4 days per week. Then I had a genious idea. I started serving him on a tiny salad plate. The plate LOOKED like it was overflowing but it was about 1/3 of what he was eating previously. His head told him he HAD to have at least seconds no matter how big the first serving was. This way, he was able to get his 2-3 servings, which told his heart and head he had stuffed and gorged. However, he was not actually getting the insane quantity. I did not have to tell him no, but it slowed him down just the same.

In time, I taught him that he emotionally eats. He can still do it sometimes. However, he KNOWS he does it. When he gets to a point where he is antsy and desperate to gorge until he pukes, we will talk about it. Sometimes he recognizes what it is and chooses to do it anyway. Most of the time, he'll get something to drink, or walk away and breath for a bit to see if the sensations will fade first. When his brother died, he informed me he was going to gorge and I let him know as long as he knew what he was doing and was choosing to do it deliberately, I was just going to ask he make sure he make it to the toilet if he gorged to the point of vomitting. He's skinny as a twig and rarely gorges now. If he does gorge he knows what he's doing and makes a personal choice TO gorge. I had to do a lot of self-talk with that one to not step in and try to control his food, but I KNEW it would make things worse.

I DO struggle with my weight. Some is a medical issue and some is that I have and do struggle with emotional eating. Even more than that, it took me years to be able to NOT leave a "clean plate." I was so programmed that my parents served what THEY thought was an acceptable serving, and I was required to clean my plate with no request for seconds that I shut off listening to my own body. If I didn't clean my plate, I was served the food cold for every meal until I finally obeyed and ate it. I did a LOT of research on food issues in college before I was a mother because I absolutely did NOT want to cause my children to inherit what was done to me. I was raised in EXACTLY the way most fundies raise their kids. No matter how much it's taken for ME to adjust and to leave my children alone on food, I have made it a top priority in my house. I don't yo-yo diet, I don't obssess on food, and I don't control my children's eating habits. I have two rules--the teens must eat the left-overs as after school snacks before breaking out the junk food, and if you take food you cannot get more until you eat what you took unless you *really* don't like what you took.

[heidi]

The following comment bothered me for various reasons:

"I find it interesting that you say glibbly, “God would not want his children to go withoutâ€â€¦yet throughout Scripture, there are countless times in history when those who were God’s people (either Jew or Christian) who did indeed have to go without…or very simple fare…like manna for 40 years…or the famine during Joseph’s time. Or the Apostle Paul shipwrecked and other trials…or Christians during WWII, trying to help the Jews, and the Jews themselves. The Love of God isn’t always manifest in the “bounty†we see that HE gives us, but often in the sufficiency of what appears to be the lack that we see…faith girl!"

It's one thing to not have enough to eat as a result of being a refugee, or there being a famine or a war, another as a result of your parents having more children than they can afford and refusing to do things that might improve the situation.

That comment really bothered me too. For one thing, according to the Bible, the Israelites weren't suffering for lack of food. It's made quite clear that everyone got enough to eat and on the one day there wasn't manna to gather--they already had enough because there had been enough the day before to gather double.

I don't think that a shipwreck that Paul faced even compares to how she's purposefully feeding her children minimal portions. In fact, right before the ship breaks apart, Paul encourages the sailors to eat! He says they'll need the strength to survive!

Speaking of children and food, there are two times when Jesus specifically asked the rhetorical question: "If your child asks for bread, are you going to give him a stone?" (Matthew and Luke are the books it appears in I think). It's pretty clear to me that she's giving her children "stones" and trying to pretty it up in so-called "godliness"