Kendal's alternative christmas

[patsymae]

Have to agree that's the least festive-looking table I've seen--looks like a school cafeteria.

[wild little fox]

I don't care what Kendal says her kids do not understand. I know they will be very sad to watch others open gifts and they don't have anything.

I am all for teaching kids about giving and appreciating gifts they received but hell there has to be an equal balance.

It wasn't a big deal not getting Christmas presents as a child as it was watching my cousins open theirs and not getting anything. That is what hurt.

[quinoa mama]

What do those of you who say it looks grim and not festive mean? I'm just wondering because my dining room table didn't look much different. We had a basic red tablecloth, plenty of food, and just us family. Besides my lack of storage space for Christmas themed decor, I just don't get into shopping and collecting things. I'm looking around my home right now and ondering if most people would find my space sad.

[Guest Anonymous]

What do those of you who say it looks grim and not festive mean? I'm just wondering because my dining room table didn't look much different. We had a basic red tablecloth, plenty of food, and just us family. Besides my lack of storage space for Christmas themed decor, I just don't get into shopping and collecting things. I'm looking around my home right now and ondering if most people would find my space sad.

I think only one or maybe 2 people said that.

I don't have issues with what her table looked like per se, but I did notice she made a point of saying how the children decorated the table with Abuela (the grandma?) as if it were a big activity (almost as if it were an activity which might mitigate against the lack of gifts and usual celebrations....?). In that context a tablecloth with ordinary plates and dishes and no visible decorations at all doesn't look all that special, so it seems odd she mentioned it.

[quinoa mama]

OK, that makes sense.

[kpmom]

Oh Kendal, you're such a liar. It was you who came up with the idea of no gifts for your kids after talking to a friend of yours. Then you brought it up to hubby. How is it now his decision?

In your earlier posts you said he got on board with the idea, not the other way around. You're so full of crap, you don't even remember the stories you tell.

And yes, the rest of your day was NO different than the way most of us spent Christmas, so get off the "we're different and we like it" wagon.

[Guest Anonymous]

Dear Kendal:

I can express my opinion of you in two words: You suck!

[Koala]

Yep, you guys are right.

Contradiction:

I want to share with you how our family is choosing to celebrate Christmas this year, and probably the years to come. First, I want to give you a little background into how this vision came to be.

I was talking with a friend, one whom I respect and admire, and she was sharing with me what her family does, or doesn't do, for Christmas. I then asked her, "so you don't give your children gifts for Christmas??!" And she replied, "well, no, it's Jesus' birthday." Ummm, ok. Ouch... I walked away from the conversation forever changed.

My husband and I talked about our current Christmas tradition and realized that it was time for a change.

When my husband first made the decision to do away with presents, I was totally on board. But then it really started to sink in and I was beginning to question his decision. No gifts?! How could we do that to our children? How unfair! Gifts aren't going to ruin them! Everyone else does it! These were my thoughts and my pleads to my husband. I am so thankful for my husband's vision and his graceful way of leading me through with such wisdom and strength.

:roll:

[Hane]

Yeah, OK.

Let's just pretend that this Grinch-a-thon was all Hubby's idea. And let's pretend that Kendull, like any normal wife, was appalled. But she's a Major-League Fundie-With-a-Blog, so she has to gild this t^rd and make it look like a big ol' case of being Led Gracefully by her Headship with Wisdom and Strength. So she can look even MORE holy.

Um, Kendull, which version of this pathetic fairy tale do you want us to buy?

[formergothardite]

Kendal, Kendal, Kendal, lying is not very Christ-like, now is it? And I bet you would beat your kids all day if they lied like that.

[Claddagh]

Aren't our best things supposed to be done out of genuine kindess while not expecting a reward? The way she writes it it sounds like she expects people to pat her on the head while saying "good girl, fine girl." Problem with that is after the "I'm so good!" wears off she'll be wanting another "fix" and do something like that again to get more praise.

[Ex 2x2]

My children are adopted, and one thing I've done consistently at Christmas is to take a photo of them with their big ole pile of gifts to send to their birthmothers. I just want them to see how loved and, yes, in a sense, spoiled rotten the kids are. Of course we all know there are a million other ways (and more important ways) to be good parents, but their birthmothers just want to see that the kids are doted on, the way they'd do themselves, were they able. I typically also send a pic of them in their halloween costumes and one on their bday as well, with the cake and presents in it. Again, none of those things make me a good parent, but at least, through those pics, they know the children aren't being deprived and are getting to enjoy holidays.

All that to say, if a birthmother reads this stuff prior to choosing adoptive parents, they might not be chosen.

[dairyfreelife]

Well if she gave her kids gifts she couldn't claim to be holier than all the heathen people who give their kids gifts.

True. She has to prove she's better somehow since all day spanking sessions weren't enough. :roll:

[Freyacat]

Note to Kendal, since I have no doubt she reads here: When Zsuzsanna seems more joyful about Christmas (or anything, really) than you, you're doing it wrong.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Note to Kendal, since I have no doubt she reads here: When Zsuzsanna seems more joyful about Christmas (or anything, really) than you, you're doing it wrong.

Seriously! I was pretty impressed with Zsu's advent calendars and all the candies she made. When I saw her pic of the kids presents, all I could think of was how Kendal didn't get her kids anything. So pointless and MEAN. Even PP has a smile on his face.

[formergothardite]

Even the Maxwells, the most unfun people in the entire world look like they had more fun at Christmas than Kendal.

[patsymae]

"What do those of you who say it looks grim and not festive mean? I'm just wondering because my dining room table didn't look much different. We had a basic red tablecloth, plenty of food, and just us family. Besides my lack of storage space for Christmas themed decor, I just don't get into shopping and collecting things. I'm looking around my home right now and ondering if most people would find my space sad."

I didn't mean to offend--not everyone wants or needs a fancy table setting. As someone suggested, I was just snarking because she tried to make it sound like decorating that table was one of the fun activities that her children enjoyed in lieu of Christmas gifts, and it sure look to me as if they had had a lot of fun.

[MrsKay]

Okay, I have to admit - I do really like how creative some of Zsu's stuff is. :oops: I didn't get time to do the Advent stuff this year - I saw a ton of ideas on Pinterest, but I had so many other things to do that it just didn't get done. I didn't feel bad about it, but seeing Zsu's makes me really want to look up ideas to plan next year's. And I think it was the start of the school year - when she had those cones that were full of gifts, that looked really small until she showed the kids holding them? I was plotting then, I admit it. MrKay is German, so I can totally blame it on his heritage. It's a sad, scary day when Zsu's blog looks downright heartwarming after reading another person's description of their kids' Christmas/winter holiday.

I've heard of a lot of very fundie families who do 3 gifts each year, per person, since per the Bible, Jesus was given 3 gifts. Every family has their own meaning for each gift. I always thought that was kind of a bummer, but at least it's not because their kids don't deserve gifts, and they're not excluding their kids. Most of them put a great deal of thought into the gifts. I'm not crazy for material crap, I'm just someone who loves giving gifts, and right up through Christmas day, I'm thinking of last minute gifts that I HAVE to make. I'd be really bummed out to be limited or deprived in that area! I don't think I'm alone here - after the tragedy in Connecticut, I had the worst time restraining myself when it came to last minute gifts for my kids. I seriously cried more than once when I was shopping for gifts or making gifts, thinking of how horrible it would be to not be able to do any of it for my kids. Who could stop themselves from even being just a little more tolerant of their kids indulging in meaningless, materialistic Godless garbage in the very recent aftermath of that?

I don't think you HAVE to spend a lot, or anything at all, to make holidays special. I'd love to pull off an entirely handmade holiday. I just can't understand being okay with taking all of that away from your kids (and later blaming your husband, because you KNOW you sound like a total bitch). Even if I'm flat broke, I find ways to gift my loved ones with things that make them feel special and loved. That's the whole point - to say, "You're so special that I think you deserve this!". Thinking of the delight and awe that I saw in little faces at the crack of dawn this year... That was several days ago, and I'm still riding on that glow quite a bit. If you were never exposed to it in the first place, that's one thing, but to go through your entire childhood and adult life with that experience each year, and then yanking it away after exposing your kids, just totally sucks. What a shitty thing to do. I need to stop reading this damn thread.

[Patsy]

Even the Maxwells, the most unfun people in the entire world look like they had more fun at Christmas than Kendal.

Oh, I'm sure Kendal had fun. It's like she gets off on being withholding...

[Koala]

Okay, I have to admit - I do really like how creative some of Zsu's stuff is. :oops: I didn't get time to do the Advent stuff this year - I saw a ton of ideas on Pinterest, but I had so many other things to do that it just didn't get done. I didn't feel bad about it, but seeing Zsu's makes me really want to look up ideas to plan next year's. And I think it was the start of the school year - when she had those cones that were full of gifts, that looked really small until she showed the kids holding them? I was plotting then, I admit it. MrKay is German, so I can totally blame it on his heritage. It's a sad, scary day when Zsu's blog looks downright heartwarming after reading another person's description of their kids' Christmas/winter holiday.

I've heard of a lot of very fundie families who do 3 gifts each year, per person, since per the Bible, Jesus was given 3 gifts. Every family has their own meaning for each gift. I always thought that was kind of a bummer, but at least it's not because their kids don't deserve gifts, and they're not excluding their kids. Most of them put a great deal of thought into the gifts. I'm not crazy for material crap, I'm just someone who loves giving gifts, and right up through Christmas day, I'm thinking of last minute gifts that I HAVE to make. I'd be really bummed out to be limited or deprived in that area! I don't think I'm alone here - after the tragedy in Connecticut, I had the worst time restraining myself when it came to last minute gifts for my kids. I seriously cried more than once when I was shopping for gifts or making gifts, thinking of how horrible it would be to not be able to do any of it for my kids. Who could stop themselves from even being just a little more tolerant of their kids indulging in meaningless, materialistic Godless garbage in the very recent aftermath of that?

I don't think you HAVE to spend a lot, or anything at all, to make holidays special. I'd love to pull off an entirely handmade holiday. I just can't understand being okay with taking all of that away from your kids (and later blaming your husband, because you KNOW you sound like a total bitch). Even if I'm flat broke, I find ways to gift my loved ones with things that make them feel special and loved. That's the whole point - to say, "You're so special that I think you deserve this!". Thinking of the delight and awe that I saw in little faces at the crack of dawn this year... That was several days ago, and I'm still riding on that glow quite a bit. If you were never exposed to it in the first place, that's one thing, but to go through your entire childhood and adult life with that experience each year, and then yanking it away after exposing your kids, just totally sucks. What a shitty thing to do. I need to stop reading this damn thread.

Well said.

Those pictures just made me sad. I still haven't stopped thinking about those poor girls sitting there watching other family members open gifts from Kendal and whatever the hell her husband's name is, all the while knowing that they were the only ones their parents weren't buying for. Hell, they even bought for a strangers kids.

I also love that she throws in that bit about getting up and singing karaoke with them, like that somehow makes up for the fact that she took Christmas away for no reason.

[Hisey]

I think Kendall cheated herself more than anyone else.

As she said, most of her kids are too young to know about gift giving on Xmas. And they probably have plenty of toys. But it is Kendall who missed out on the fun and joy of seeing the delight on four little faces as they open their presents. It's Kendall who lost out on shopping for those four little kids--the fun of poking around toy stores, of picking out little dresses, etc. She may not realize it now, but this time with little kids is limited, and she just lost one year.

Her kids are so young she could have gotten them things from the dollar bin at Target and they still would have been happy. She didn't have to spend a lot of money.

I think Kendall cheated herself, and I also think her husband was behind the whole thing. He seems like a jerk. I do think the presents will be back before their youngest --A BOY-- is old enough to understand. I don't think her husband will want to treat a boy this way.

Sounds also like they couldn't find a family who wanted their Xmas disrupted with her family swooping in to deliver presents. It sounds like they went through an agency and had to give their presents to a third-party.

[latraviata]

I think Kendall cheated herself more than anyone else.

As she said, most of her kids are too young to know about gift giving on Xmas. And they probably have plenty of toys. But it is Kendall who missed out on the fun and joy of seeing the delight on four little faces as they open their presents. It's Kendall who lost out on shopping for those four little kids--the fun of poking around toy stores, of picking out little dresses, etc. She may not realize it now, but this time with little kids is limited, and she just lost one year.

Her kids are so young she could have gotten them things from the dollar bin at Target and they still would have been happy. She didn't have to spend a lot of money.

I think Kendall cheated herself, and I also think her husband was behind the whole thing. He seems like a jerk. I do think the presents will be back before their youngest --A BOY-- is old enough to understand. I don't think her husband will want to treat a boy this way.

Sounds also like they couldn't find a family who wanted their Xmas disrupted with her family swooping in to deliver presents. It sounds like they went through an agency and had to give their presents to a third-party.

Yes this!!

Her husband is behind the adoption idea as well.

[Hisey]

Yes this!!

Her husband is behind the adoption idea as well.

Well, they both seem interested in adoption and I think that's fine. Not giving presents to little kids is different from adoption.

But anyhow, I feel sorry for Kendall. Shopping for my kids is one of my greatest joys! I did it with DH this year and we had so much fun. And especially clothes for little girls. In a few years, those girls will want to pick out their own clothes, and the fun of shopping for them will be over. (Even my 9 year old wants to pick out her own clothes)

[Guest Anonymous]

Well, they both seem interested in adoption and I think that's fine. Not giving presents to little kids is different from adoption.

But anyhow, I feel sorry for Kendall. Shopping for my kids is one of my greatest joys! I did it with DH this year and we had so much fun. And especially clothes for little girls. In a few years, those girls will want to pick out their own clothes, and the fun of shopping for them will be over. (Even my 9 year old wants to pick out her own clothes)

Fuck Kendull.

I have to strongly disagree: most of all she cheated her kids. She and her husband are adults. They choose how to spend their time, whether it be smacking their babies several times a day, or cancelling Christmas, or whatever.

The children are not too young to feel pain, or rejection, or sadness, or confusion. She stole their Christmas from them, for the sake of her own ego. I have no sorrow for Kendull or Mr Kendull. My only hope for them is that they have a long, lonely time in an old people's home to look forward to, once their children go off and start enjoying their own lives.

[latraviata]

[*Well, they both seem interested in adoption and I think that's fine. Not giving presents to little kids is different from adoption.

But anyhow, I feel sorry for Kendall. Shopping for my kids is one of my greatest joys! I did it with DH this year and we had so much fun. And especially clothes for little girls. In a few years, those girls will want to pick out their own clothes, and the fun of shopping for them will be over. (Even my 9 year old wants to pick out her own clothes)]

Well the idea is from her husband he had to persuade her.

Adoption for Kendal?? You do know they discipline their children in the biblical fashion?

You know that they both have been 'disciplining' their 6 year old daughter for an entire day and yes there was 'spanking' involved. Their daughters will be trained and homeschooled to be submissive wifes and incubators, they have already decided, no college or any education whatsoever for the girls.

You still think it is fine they are going to adopt?