Maxwells are home!

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Now that you mention it, I can't recall ever reading about them treating Sunday as a special no-work day, actually. When they're at home they do the nursing home church thing on Sunday which is "different" but otherwise it seems that perhaps because they do their Bible-obsession tasks every day, they also do work every day. They're all about being productive and not wasting one moment, after all.

...and their work, selling the book and blogging and all the rest of it, they probably view as religious service anyway because it's supposedly drawing more people in to praise Jeebus.

[Witsec7]

It's interesting that they don't seem to have a problem with blogging on Sundays. Since the main purpose of their blog is to sell their products and services, doesn't posting constitute working when they should be taking a day of rest? Or does Steve have a special dispensation from the Lord to shill on the Sabbath?

They are ministering.

[Arete]

Actually, I have read in a few posts of theirs over the years that the only time they ALLOW themselves to rest is "the Lord's Day". I have been kind of surprised with all the Sunday posting recently, but I guess they have to pimp those books and chore packs while there is still some interest.

[marmalade]

Is it really so incredible that a man, even an elderly man, would drive thirty miles to church? That's like a half hour drive. They trek all over the fucking country for months to sell their crap, but it's unusual enough to record that an elderly man drive 30 miles to see them?

The grammar makes me want to pull my hair out. Sarah dear, please write in active voice. Passive voice just makes her already-stilted prose even worse. :confusion-helpsign:

[divadivine]

Why isn't Poor Sarah wearing an apron?

Maybe that thing on her head is too tight and she can't think straight?

Working in the kitchen with a beater almost guarantees splatters. :naughty:

Because Jesus... that's why she's not wearing an apron.

[Guest Anonymous]

I know I'm preachin' to the choir, but Sarah's writing is boring.

She goes on for a full paragraph describing how taking pictures during sessions can be distracting to the attendees.

A quick sentence could have covered that subject.

I think it was all a very badly told build up to the hilarious anecdote about Dad leaving the mike on when he pressed the camera shutter during the Q & A session. Because....oh the hilarity... now they have a story to rival even the Great Cheese Wrapper Incident of 2011. :whistle:

[Guest Anonymous]

The latest post reads like an allegory, so I decided to help Sarah out and re-wrote it to tell the 'heart story' behind her own.

Hearts of Stone, #1

Posted on October 29, 2012 by Sarah

Howdy, y’all!

I don’t know if you noticed from pictures this summer, but Joseph’s heart was badly cracked. It needed to be torn out and replaced. So, while we were on our trip, Daddy did his best to break up the remaining pieces of his heart and haul the memories of Elizabeth off into the distance.

Joseph’s first project upon returning from our trip was to prepare the gaping hole that was caused by Elizabeth and have concrete poured in to fill the void. Today dawned overcast and chilly–an ominous day for fixing an achey breaky heart.

A little after ten, the concrete truck pulled up to J’s house. The Geiger driver said he had also been the concrete truck driver after Christopher gave pieces of his heart to Sara in 2005. Those broken heart stories bring back memories! True to tradition, we gave him a plate of chocolate chip cookies and told him he was headed for the hot fires of Hell, and he was delighted!

Although the temperature indicated the lower 40′s, the breeze made it feel like the lower 30′s (at least to the one holding the camera). Brrr! However, the guys worked hard, so they warmed up quickly. They each had a job to do and efficiently did it. Tomorrow, the remainder of Joseph's feelings will be concreted over.

Our stony hearts go out to those who are experiencing Hurricane Sandy. We are praying that those affected know where they will go if they die tonight, and we thank God for giving them something to think about. Please join us in praying!

Love,

Sarah

[terranova]

Does anyone know if they vote? Do the women? Who could Steve possibly approve of enough to vote for him?

[kpmom]

I love how they now include prayers for others in some of their posts ever since some FJers called them out on only asking for prayers for themselves. Until recently they never would have mentioned Hurricane Sandy, or prayers for the many accident victims they come across in their travels.

[alysee]

I love how they now include prayers for others in some of their posts ever since some FJers called them out on only asking for prayers for themselves. Until recently they never would have mentioned Hurricane Sandy, or prayers for the many accident victims they come across in their travels.

I never noticed it but you're totally right. They are so self-absorbed someone had to tell them to pray for others. Yeah Steve-O that's real Christian of you.

[WonderingInWA]

I'm surprised they even know about Hurricane Sandy. They don't watch the news or use the internet for current world events. Stevie must be loosening up the parental controls on that.

[Marian the Librarian]

Nope - unfortunately, Sarah has just updated with yet another on-the-road story, waxing rhapsodic about the joys of tripping over one another in tight quarters, and -

(Bolding mine.)

Oh dear...

:doh:

Why, it's a miracle - the gender of the mouse has been corrected for consistency!!

HI STEVE!!!

[Convicted Blossom]

What I want to know is why has Sarah been wearing a big ass bow on her head of late? I know this is a big fundie thing for girl BABIES, you know so people don't miss the pink and the dresses and the frills and whatnot and mistake them for boys, but Sarah is an almost 31year old woman and its not as if she hasn't been infantilized enough. It makes her look like she's wrapped up as a gift and it's really disturbing to me.

She is a gift isn't she? A gift from Steve (and the lord) to a godly young man who hasn't been defrauded, who owns his own house (paid for in cash), who doesn't wear tight jeans. Now that Sarah has reached almost-31 the pool of eligible godly young men must be drying up so, Steve has told her to smarten up, and this is the result.

[slickcat79]

Is it really so incredible that a man, even an elderly man, would drive thirty miles to church? That's like a half hour drive. They trek all over the fucking country for months to sell their crap, but it's unusual enough to record that an elderly man drive 30 miles to see them?

Hey, we were going to drive further than that, just for different reasons :lol: I am still bummed we had to miss Trust eeeend Obey.

[gustava]

Is it really so incredible that a man, even an elderly man, would drive thirty miles to church? That's like a half hour drive. They trek all over the fucking country for months to sell their crap, but it's unusual enough to record that an elderly man drive 30 miles to see them?

Wonder what their definition of elderly is? 60?

[uber frau]

Speaking ofthe Elderly, has anyone else had it laid upon their hearts to spread a little Christmas cheer to the poor souls who find themselves subjected to the Maxwell-death-cult every Sunday? Sort of an Operation-Christmas-Child shoebox operation, but a bit more subversive. I propose sending in small flasks of liquor and some light reading that Steve-O would disapprove of. When I worked in nursing homes, lingerie catalogues seemed to popular with most of the men (possibly some of the women too.).

[MamaJunebug]

Speaking ofthe Elderly, has anyone else had it laid upon their hearts to spread a little Christmas cheer to the poor souls who find themselves subjected to the Maxwell-death-cult every Sunday? Sort of an Operation-Christmas-Child shoebox operation, but a bit more subversive. I propose sending in small flasks of liquor and some light reading that Steve-O would disapprove of. When I worked in nursing homes, lingerie catalogues seemed to popular with most of the men (possibly some of the women too.).

I'm in.

Who's got the name of the home??

[WonderingInWA]

Speaking ofthe Elderly, has anyone else had it laid upon their hearts to spread a little Christmas cheer to the poor souls who find themselves subjected to the Maxwell-death-cult every Sunday? Sort of an Operation-Christmas-Child shoebox operation, but a bit more subversive. I propose sending in small flasks of liquor and some light reading that Steve-O would disapprove of. When I worked in nursing homes, lingerie catalogues seemed to popular with most of the men (possibly some of the women too.).

This is an excellent idea for outreach! LOL! Jesus would be so proud! Count me in!

[Guest Anonymous]

Seriously, that's creepy and stalkerish.

[marmalade]

Joseph had an "achey breakey" heart? Fess up, who got Billy Ray Cyrus onto their I-tunes? That song came out quite some time after Steve-o fell off the deep end.

The concrete driver bit was beyond creepy, but of course as a creepy allegory, IT'S GOD, Y'ALL! :roll:

She just couldn't help herself with the death, but apparently they thought it was the apocalpyse; last I heard, the death toll was only 16. Most people have to deal with no power, flooding and/or inability to get to their jobs, but otherwise they're FINE. My relatives in Northern Jersey sent out an email this am. They don't have power at the moment (2nd Halloween in a row my 9 year old niece will miss trick or treating), but they're FINE! Not DEAD, Sarah, not one bit.

[WonderingInWA]

And Rebecca EleventyHundred has chimed in on the driveway pour post with a riveting account from her past experience with cement:

"This post brings back a memory. About 7 years ago when we lived in our other house, we were having cement poured on our rocky driveway. It was interesting to watch, but the funny part was as we looked out the window to see them do the job, our dog right beside me was watching too. She noticed that strangers were doing something on our property and she growled and barked through the process!"

Is that really "funny"? It's really just not. She SO wants to be a Maxwell. It's hard to watch.

[Guest Anonymous]

Joseph had an "achey breakey" heart? Fess up, who got Billy Ray Cyrus onto their I-tunes? That song came out quite some time after Steve-o fell off the deep end.

The concrete driver bit was beyond creepy, but of course as a creepy allegory, IT'S GOD, Y'ALL! :roll:

She just couldn't help herself with the death, but apparently they thought it was the apocalpyse; last I heard, the death toll was only 16. Most people have to deal with no power, flooding and/or inability to get to their jobs, but otherwise they're FINE. My relatives in Northern Jersey sent out an email this am. They don't have power at the moment (2nd Halloween in a row my 9 year old niece will miss trick or treating), but they're FINE! Not DEAD, Sarah, not one bit.

It was a snarky rewrite, not a quote of what Sarah actually wrote. :oops:

[kpmom]

Wonder what their definition of elderly is? 60?

Since Steve himself is 61 probably not. I'll bet Steve wouldn't find it so sweet and precious to be referred to as "the elderly".

(Re. A past comment from someone-possibly one of us-mentioned referring to the nursing home residents as "the elderly" was rude. Steve answered he thought it was a "precious" or "sweet" [can't remember which] way of referring to the residents).

[VVV]

Since Steve himself is 61 probably not. I'll bet Steve wouldn't find it so sweet and precious to be referred to as "the elderly".

(Re. A past comment from someone-possibly one of us-mentioned referring to the nursing home residents as "the elderly" was rude. Steve answered he thought it was a "precious" or "sweet" [can't remember which] way of referring to the residents).

Wouldn't the correct way to refer to nursing home residents just be "people?"

Edited to add, woohoo! Secretly Bill Gothard!

[Letgo]

anniec, thank you! I laughed so hard at your rewrite. Loved it!