Hairy Sikh lady on Reddit

[skythetowel]

I so, so admire this woman.

I haven't picked up a razor in almost 20 years and I do get quite a few stares when I bare my hairy legs and pits. However, I have to admit that if I had facial hair I would probably get rid of it. Something for me to keep in mind the next time I get all self-congratulatory for flaunting societal gender norms. :oops:

[luckystone]

There is an Indian woman who works in a shop near me who has a pretty significant beard. She's gorgeous, though. It's funny to see at first but I actually not that unusual.

How interesting the OP apologised. I'm not a fan of any religion but I think the girl in the picture's comment about focussing on what it inside is very sweet and admirable. I think it's okay to pay some attention to what you look like as well, but I get really angry when people insult women for not living up to various unrealistic standards, when it's something that doesn't matter at all. Religions are generally hypocritical about these things (and where do you draw the line between what's for looks and what's hygiene/health? not that I think hair is dirty like some people do, but in terms of washing your hair for shininess/cleanliness, or something else that falls into a grey area) so it's interesting people pointed out how she has glasses and cut nails and stuff, but I think that's different as it's more a maintenance/functional thing. But if you took it to extremes you'd never correct things like imperfect vision.

I often go through extended periods of no hair removal and it makes me laugh how some people get so distressed by it. I think it's just because they aren't used to it. Interestingly, in my experience women mind more than men. I don't get many odd glances though and haven't had any comments for a few years.

I haven't picked up a razor in almost 20 years and I do get quite a few stares when I bare my hairy legs and pits. However, I have to admit that if I had facial hair I would probably get rid of it. Something for me to keep in mind the next time I get all self-congratulatory for flaunting societal gender norms. :oops:

I'm the same :oops: I think it's because I care what I look like, but I don't care what other people think. So I wouldn't like to see or feel myself with face hair, but I don't mind/prefer it elsewhere. Does that make sense? Either way, I really admire that woman too.

[MrsYoungie]

I totally respect this woman's ability to leave her appearance as nature intended. I am much too self-conscious to do so.

I was unaware until just now that some Sikh women wear a turban as she does in the photo. I live near a large multi-cultural city and don't recal seeing women wearing turbans. Is this a particular Sikh sect?

The trouble people have (IMHO) is that between the turban, the masculine glasses, the facial hair - from the neck up she looks like a man, but has obvious bosoms. It's a bit disconcerting to a casual observer.

But again, totally her choice. If she is as comfortable with the unwanted attention as it seems? More power to her.

[FaustianSlip]

I say good for her. Her response was much more respectful and level-headed than a lot of people would have been, and as others have said, these responses of, "But- but- she could be so pretty!" are just insane to me. It is not her job (or mine, or any woman's) to make personal decisions about her grooming regimen based on what The Menz might like the best. I mean... really? Ugh, it makes me crazy when women say shit like that. Don't go screwing over the sisterhood, people. That said, it was a positive development that the original poster apologized.

As far as the turban, if you look, it isn't the same style of turban as you typically see Sikh men wearing, either the full, wrapped style or a patka, the style where it's more of a kerchief over the head with a topknot. It looks like it's an Erykah Badu-style head wrap, which I actually think is kind of cool. And why not? A girl doesn't have to braid her long hair to keep it out of the way- there are other options, and if someone wants to explore some of them, more power to her.

[MamaJunebug]

Thanks to OP for this!

ON-topic: Back in the mid-1970s, when lots of women's clothing was still made in USA and sold in stores where saleswomen actually served the custome by helping to choose a garment and size and bring things back and forth to the dressing room, I shopped once or twice at an independent downtown store known for its good, but not excessively expensive, stuff.

The lady who helped me both times had a moustache worthy of Groucho Marx and I was a very immature 20-something and I confess to being fascinated by it as well as confused as to "why she didnt' *do* something about it!" which I never asked her, to my minor credit.

As I've gotten to the point of plucking and tweezing pretty regularly, I've thought of that lady and grown in my admiration for her, for making no apologies for her appearance, instead being impeccably groomed and dresed and a fine sales person for Boyd's, may it RIP.

Bhalpeet's calm and measured response made me think of the saleswoman. Also, I hven't read every post here so apologies if this is a repeat, but the poster on the link who snotted "why does Bhalpeet trim her nails"--??? I would venture, because long nails become a sign of indolence and the opportunity to be idly rich (see ancient Chinese culture), and because hair is a big thing with the Sikh culture. It was a big thing with my darling dad, to this day my sibs and I are goofy about our hair ... I'm chuckling, hair seems to get lots of attention from lots of quarters in the world.

Also, many thanks to whoso posted "Following a religion =/= fundamentalism."

:)

[bananacat]

I dated a Muslim man from Sudan when I was 18 and he shaved his armpits. I asked him about it and he says all the men do it in his community, for hygiene. It's hot in Sudan. His family and community are also more patriarchal than mine. It seemed weird to me that men from that patriarchal culture would do something considered feminine in my culture. It was a lesson in how cultural all these rules really are.

[Claddagh]

I really admire her for her being comfortable in her own skin and giving such a good response. It would be easilly just to flounce off somewhere but it takes courage to stand up to someone like that and to do it so well.

She looks fine the way she is and if she's happy that's all that matters.

[Katydid]

I have no criticism of this young woman, but I do have an honest question. I thought only Sikh men wore turbans and didn't cut their hair? Can anyone who knows more about this enlighten me? Thanks!

[Guest Anonymous]

I have no criticism of this young woman, but I do have an honest question. I thought only Sikh men wore turbans and didn't cut their hair? Can anyone who knows more about this enlighten me? Thanks!

I honestly don't know about hair cutting, but I think Sikh women have started to wear turbans more since the 1970s. I think it's an equality thing, in the same way that some Jewish women wear kippot.

ETA: I found this after a quick Google search: fateh.sikhnet.com/s/WhyTurbans#Some%20Wear%20Turbans

Also, I hope that I don't come across as trivializing by calling it 'an equality thing'. I certainly don't mean to diminish the idea of gender equality.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Its great she is comfortable with her body the way it is and doesnt feel the need to follow our beauty ideals. I wish I had that much self confidence.

[Kishiria]

I hate shaving and only do it so I don't get stared at here in the States. I stopped shaving my legs and pits when I was in Afghanistan. It was great.

Now that I'm perimenopausal, I've got teenage-boy peach fuzz on my upper lip. I wax it so I can stay in uniform standards. :D

I think Miss Saur is just beautiful.

[jenny_islander]

There is one hair that grows near my mouth and it gets shaved. I tried to pluck it but it hurt too much and it is seemingly one hair so waxing seems like a waste. I think a lot of women shave and don't tell anyone.

You would be surprised at the number of wonky little genes that apparently exist only to spur greater than average hair growth on the earlobes, or the skin over the collarbones, or the skin just behind the point of the chin, or what have you. I would not be at all surprised to learn that Ms. Kaur's mother, maternal grandmother, maternal aunts, and sisters all have "masculine" facial hair while her paternal grandmother and paternal aunts do not.

[emmiedahl]

I think that line between religious and fundamentalist is the one between "I believe these rules are right for me" and "I believe these rules are right for everyone, or everyone in certain groups". If she criticized Sikh girls who do shave, then yeah I would call her a fundie. But considering her eloquent and kindhearted response, I would be surprised if she did that.

[JesusFightClub]

She seems like a very nice young woman. I loved her cheerful response on reddit, and appreciated a lot the response from the guy apologising for putting her pic up.

Some people accused her of "wanting to look like a man for attention". A, if she does, so what? It's good to challenge people's perceptions. b. why is it wrong if a woman looks masculine and attracts attention, but it's right if she looks conventionally "hot" and attracts attention?

I was laughing at some of the comments, because my flatmate was surprised I shave my pits and legs now and again. As he put it "You're the only woman I know who shaves..." An unofficial questionnaire amongst male acquaintances included these remarks "I would never expect that from a woman", "Women are lovely just the way they are anyway, why is this an issue?" and "My girlfriends haven't, I know they're supposed to from the media, but it would really take a lot of effort to keep that up, anyway I don't care if they do or not" and the less than PC response "I'm happy to be getting some, I'm not asking questions". :lol:

[LucySnowe]

*nodding at everything JFC said*

My home crowd is mostly gamers (tabletop RPG) and hippies. I suspect a straw poll would provide similar responses.

[Sunnichick31]

I dated a Muslim man from Sudan when I was 18 and he shaved his armpits. I asked him about it and he says all the men do it in his community, for hygiene. It's hot in Sudan. His family and community are also more patriarchal than mine. It seemed weird to me that men from that patriarchal culture would do something considered feminine in my culture. It was a lesson in how cultural all these rules really are.

My husband does that too, and It's actually sunnah to remove hair from the armpits and pubic region for hygiene reasons, so many practicing Muslims, male or female, will get rid of the hair there.

[camdendayton]

I am an awe. I think a big part of the body hair thing for women is we get used to something and then don't want to change. I grew up not shaving my legs for months at a time b/c of swimming (when you don't shave for awhile it feels really good in the water when you do shave. It ads a tiny bit of resistance, and we were all about training with resistance and then removing it when big meets came along. it may be silly but it's what we did.) I would probably continue to do that if it wasn't for societal expectations, and I have gone to the beach with significant leg hair and been shamed by friends and family telling me I was no longer a swimmer and "didn't need to do that anymore." I haven't had the guts to rock leg hair in public for awhile, but if I don't expect people to see my legs I will go some time between shaves.

On the other hand, I never go more than 2 or 3 days without shaving my pits. I've never had hair under there and it would feel weird. I have some facial hairs that grow in thick and I'll pluck those even if I can't see them and it's by feel b/c I don't want to touch my face and feel hair.

Bhalpeet's calm and measured response made me think of the saleswoman. Also, I hven't read every post here so apologies if this is a repeat, but the poster on the link who snotted "why does Bhalpeet trim her nails"--??? I would venture, because long nails become a sign of indolence and the opportunity to be idly rich (see ancient Chinese culture), and because hair is a big thing with the Sikh culture. It was a big thing with my darling dad, to this day my sibs and I are goofy about our hair ... I'm chuckling, hair seems to get lots of attention from lots of quarters in the world.

You really can't keep natural nails past a certain length if you do ANYTHING with your hands. It differs depending on how thick your nails are, but I never cut mine, and they break, and become sharp and get stuck on things, so I can't imagine a scenario where you could live a normal life and not ever either cut or file your nails, so I'm guessing that's why.

[JesusFightClub]

Camdendayton, that's really interesting about swimming! It makes sense, but it must have been a weird contrast!

I'm like you, I feel a lot less comfortable with armpit hair than leg hair. Leg hair feels natural, pit hair feels strange. I wonder why this is...

[terranova]

Personally, I'm not a fan of facial hair full stop. I don't like it on men or women (except my Dad :D). But this lady is georgeous and totally rocks it.

[Avalondaughter]

I admire this woman and I admire the rest of you guys who don't shave. I'm very hairy. No hormonal issues. I am just from a hairy family. I would not have a full beard and mustache if I didn't remove it, but it would be dark and noticeable. I was made fun of a lot in school for my dark hair. I have spent thousands over the years in waxing and even laser treatments - which thinned out the heavy dark hair, but didn't get rid of the facial hair altogether. I still periodically wax because I just am so fearful of what people will think of my mustache and sideburns.

I must admit I like my legs shaved though. I love the way the skin feels shaved. I work out a lot and not having leg hair makes my hard-earned muscles more defined.

I sort of like the idea of men shaving their pits. Armpits are a sensitive area. It would make it easier for me to play with that area in bed if my husband shaved it.

[Convicted Blossom]

I have hair that grows on the top of my nose. There is enough that I shave it. However, I don't tell anyone that I shave. Most of my female friends would think that I was weird for shaving because plucking and waxing is what women do, not shave. :roll:

My son decided that he was going to shave his armpits to prevent stinking. He made the mistake of telling my brother who informed him that was a weird thing to do. I honestly don't understand the rules of hair removal. Guys can choose to remove hair from their face but they can't decide that they need to take off other body hair. Women take off hair on almost all their lower body but can only pluck or wax their face. Who decided these rules?

I have a monobrow, an inheritance from my late father on whom it looked fine, on me -- not so much. I use to shave it, now it gets waxed when I have my eyebrows waxed, they grow down almost to my deep set eyelids and I choose to remove all that hair. That's my choice. The same as it's my choice to keep my hair short and to never have had hair below collar length.

Your son should feel fine about what he does, sportspeople remove hair from all parts of their bodies. The current generation of footballers are much less hairy than former generations, I suspect it's to show off the salon tans and the tatts in their case. Their hairlessness does not extend to their faces, there they have "designer stubble".

This lady's acceptance of her body in the spirit of her religious beliefs is beyond admirable. This to me, as a non-believer in any higher power, is what true devotion to a religion is all about. This isn't about picking and choosing what to believe and what to do, it's not pretense, it's not an expectation that others will behave as she does. Her response is humanitarian, it's inspiring and it leaves us all better people from having learned about her.

Fundie-ism creates discord, rage, snark and contempt. This lady lifts us all into a better place through her own transparent modesty and serenity.

Edited for addition/correction

[theologygeek]

It is not her job (or mine, or any woman's) to make personal decisions about her grooming regimen based on what The Menz might like the best. I mean... really? Ugh, it makes me crazy when women say shit like that. Don't go screwing over the sisterhood, people.

Michelle Duggar is called mullet on here. Come on, guys. Personal appearance, grooming regimen, weight, etc are all snarked on here. Many on here have offered their opinions on fundie appearances. What's the difference between the appearances of the fundies snarked on here and this woman?

[theologygeek]

Her idea of beauty goes so far beyond what is pleasing to someone else's eye. Good for her! Why is it a woman's job to conform to someone else's standards? .

This isn't a woman who says "I'm not going to shave because I don't feel like it. It's my own personal choice." She's doing it to conform to the standards of how she interprets what the doctrine of her religion is dictating to her. How is that any different from Zsu or the Maxwells?

[debrand]

There have been so many times when I 've just wanted to shave my head. My hair is thinning to an embarrasing degree and I just don't like being gray. A shaved head would solve so many problems but I don't have the courage to try it.

[theologygeek]

To be able to elucidate so nicely without "god tells me to" was also impressive to me. .

She came right out and said that she does it because she is submitting to her god. "However, baptized Sikhs believe in the sacredness of this body - it is a gift that has been given to us by the Divine Being [which is genderless, actually] and, must keep it intact as a submission to the divine will." It's the Christian fundie version of "God told me to."