Hairy Sikh lady on Reddit

[JesusFightClub]

It's getting a bit of play on tinternet:

 

http://jezebel.com/5946643/reddit-users ... y-schooled

 

Has anyone seen this and what do they think? I guess she counts as a fundamentalist but I don't want to snark on her personally, however I'm curious as to others' views.

[Maude]

I don't have a problem with people who hold personal convictions like this, so long as they don't require them of others. From what I gather, she's not doing this, so I don't think she's fundamentalist, at least not in the same sense as those we typically snark on. In any case, she should be able to look how she chooses to look. I've always hated how society puts pressure on women to shave, wax, pluck, etc. in order to look 'beautiful.'

[Guest Anonymous]

I find this very interesting. The phenomenon of women pretending that they don't have any facial/body hair is always interesting to me. I'm glad that this woman does not bother with that kind of pretense.

[JesusFightClub]

I can't be arsed editing, FJ has been playing up for me anyway. I have tried repeatedly to answer on the "niggardly" thread and could I? Nope. *sulks* I shall persist!

Thoughts:

1. Some people criticised her for wearing a turban. It makes no sense to predict anything by this - Sikhs don't cut their hair, therefore she's used a practical method to keep it from annoying her.

2. Duh, Sikh men do have long beards. Why is this surprising? All the ones I know have beards.

3. Also, women sometimes have beards too. This lady has more than the usual, but my gran had a similar thing and I served a woman in a shop once who was blatantly female and had one hell of a beard and moustache.

4. Speaking of looks, this has been winding me up recently. Commentators on so many threads have said "but she could be so pretty! It's rude and selfish that she won't shave". As if women had a duty to make themselves look like whatever the magazines are touting as the ideal image this week.

For myself, I got a set of pictures back this week from photos of a mate's wedding and it's fair to say I am, well, not to put too fine a point on it, ugly. I'm not saying this in a spirit of self-pity, because I've never imagined I was a stunner :lol: But what I found was creepy was that Ms Kaur had a "duty" because sans beard and moustache she would be conventionally pretty, to BE pretty. No one asks me to be because I ain't. However why does she have to look like what's regarded as "pretty" because she can?

Isn't she just lovely how she is, whatever she thinks about gender, portraying herself and her religion? Why does the fact of her innate conventional attractiveness mean that she can't live up to her own convictions because some bloke won't want to fuck her?

See this is where we need the radfems to explain their POV :(

[fundiefun]

I wonder if she has PCOS or some other condition that causes her facial hair. I wonder because while I don't have facial hair I grow hair in other areas I wouldn't think most females do and I had blood work done, but it turns out I'm just a hairy person by nature so I shave.

[Sunnichick31]

I think she's awesome. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of faith to ignore society's standards of beauty, and I thought her response to the guy who posted her picture was great.

[atheistjd]

She might be my favorite person ever. I loved the one article I read where she talks about saving her time and energy to be a better person INSIDE. Religious or not, that is a laudable goal. To be able to elucidate so nicely without "god tells me to" was also impressive to me.

Apologies in advance for riffles... iPad posting.

[fedelm]

It's getting a bit of play on tinternet:

http://jezebel.com/5946643/reddit-users ... y-schooled

Has anyone seen this and what do they think? I guess she counts as a fundamentalist but I don't want to snark on her personally, however I'm curious as to others' views.

Practicing a religion =/= fundamentalist.

[Deleted03]

there was a woman at my student cafe that had a bit of a mustache and she did not shave it nor did she bleach it (like girls i was with in high school). people kept making comments on her apparently (heard from a coworker). I think that's sad and silly. it's not that big a deal. anyway, this man was a douche and I'm glad he apologized, and thanks to his friends most probably who made him apologize.

[FeministShrew]

I wonder if she has PCOS or some other condition that causes her facial hair. I wonder because while I don't have facial hair I grow hair in other areas I wouldn't think most females do and I had blood work done, but it turns out I'm just a hairy person by nature so I shave.

In the article I read she said she's seen a doctor about it, & it was because of wonky hormones when she was a teenager. The hormone problem cleared up, but the excess hair stayed.

[atheistjd]

Back on the real computer. Here's the quote I was looking for:

Just as a child doesn't reject the gift of his/her parents, Sikhs do not reject the body that has been given to us. By crying 'mine, mine' and changing this body-tool, we are essentially living in ego and creating a seperateness between ourselves and the divinity within us. By transcending societal views of beauty, I believe that I can focus more on my actions. My attitude and thoughts and actions have more value in them than my body because I recognize that this body is just going to become ash in the end, so why fuss about it? When I die, no one is going to remember what I looked like, heck, my kids will forget my voice, and slowly, all physical memory will fade away. However, my impact and legacy will remain: and, by not focusing on the physical beauty, I have time to cultivate those inner virtues and hopefully, focus my life on creating change and progress for this world in any way I can. So, to me, my face isn't important but the smile and the happiness that lie behind the face are. :-)

It really isn't about doing this because her religion tells hers to, but about embracing the reasons behind the religious prerogative and living true to herself. I think this is the opposite of fundamentalism (blindly following an old book or cult leader); she is doing what works for her in real life to accomplish goals that matter to HER (inner virtue, changing the world, leaving a legacy) rather than society. No bible verses or demands from overbearing parents needed.

Edited because I can still apparently mess up even on a real computer.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I've never shaved in my life. I don't have facial hair like this woman but I do notice that in middle age I'm getting a few beard hairs - on the neck, no less, so I suppose that makes me officially a neckbeard now...

I do pluck those on occasion, FWIW.

As for the radfem take? Women don't have any duty to be pleasing to men. Period. Our worth is not (should not be) measured on the "fuckable or not" scale. Sadly enough even among quite a few otherwise "enlightened" places that unspoken requirement to be conventionally "hot" doesn't go away, but it needs to. The "women can do anything, but they need to always look sexy when doing it" thing is BS. Insinuating that people who don't wear things to make them be conventionally attractive and sexy are somehow "unkempt" is also BS. Nothing about the woman's hair in the picture looks unclean, her clothes are in normal repair, she's fine.

[MuseMama]

Her idea of beauty goes so far beyond what is pleasing to someone else's eye. Good for her! Why is it a woman's job to conform to someone else's standards?

She handled this with grace and dignity. I'd hang out with her over Kim Kardashian any day.

[Wolfie]

I teach in an area where there are a lot of Sikhs, I've heard that it's the highest population outside of India- and I've seen a big variance on the attitude about cutting or leaving hair. The one thing I haven't seen from them is judgement of others for what they decide is right. I have many students with turbans or long braids. (and a turban is an easy way to deal with long hair, one of my grandmother's friends always wore one, and she was white, it just was easy for her.) I also have many students who have cut their hair, but are also Sikh. I see more discussion among the middle school students about vegetarianism and Sikhism, than haircutting. And middle schoolers, as most of us know, are one of the first to judge.

There is a maintainance man with a HUGE turban, I always wonder just how much hair he has tied up in that thing.

[linnea27]

That was really interesting, thanks for posting. I saw a sikh (I am assuming) woman in the mall once with a full, thick beard and mustache. I didnt understand why she didnt do something about it, although I had the sense to chastize myself for judging a woman who didnt fit into western ideals of beauty. I never considered there might be a religious component to it.

I am interested, now, in sikh standards of beauty, assuming there is a standard. Are attractive women more valued on the marriage market, or are thngs as she explains? Will a beard effect her dating/marriage prospects as I assume they would in the western world? and kudos to her for her gracious response. She is a bigger woman than I.

[Rosa]

I have had actual face to face arguments with other women about the need to shave, starting with my mother who has called me disgusting for not shaving. And I don't even have facial hair (except this one mole, which my mom has no shit actually reached over and plucked the hair from. It hurts!) There is this bizarre thing where instead of just saying "I like the way I look when I shave" or "I don't want to be judged", some women will claim things that are just factually not true (shaving doesn't take me any time at all! shaving supplies don't cost any money! Waxing is painless! Women are naturally nearly hairless, shaving is just accentuating our natural sex differences and so it is not culturally conditioned it is a natural preference!)

So anyway, I think this woman is awesome and i love how she got Reddit on her side.

[Witsec7]

...

There is a maintainance man with a HUGE turban, I always wonder just how much hair he has tied up in that thing.

I have a pal who is a rather well known Sikh in the El Lay area, if I described him you would know who he is. The first time I saw him take his turban down his hair was down to his knees. It was sheer magic to watch him wrap his turban.

ETA to stay on topic:

I've known quite a few hirsute Sikh women, married or unmarried. I also know hirsute woman who are not Sikh and choose to retain their natural hair.

[Mustang Sally]

I think quite a few women have significant facial hair, but most of them spend so much time getting rid of it that people (men, or anyone who isn't as naturally hairy) begin to assume that women just don't get hairy in those places. Totally untrue. I've had pretty significant facial hair starting in my teens, and there's nothing hormonally wrong with me. It's gotten more as I've gotten older, and I pluck it, but I really dislike the idea that I have a responsibility to do this for the pleasure of other people looking at me. Fuck you, I'm not a decorative object. Humans have hair. The supposedly gender-related differences between men and women are often far less significant than our culture makes them out to be, and hair is one area where, yes, in general, women might have less of it, but there is a lot of overlap and plenty of women are just as hairy as an average guy. And maybe that should be okay since we are, after all, human and not CGI creations of idealized feminine beauty?

[Maul the Koala]

I've always hated how society puts pressure on women to shave, wax, pluck, etc. in order to look 'beautiful.'

I know. I have PCOS and I'm hairy as all get out. I'm ashamed of it big time. I wear long pants/tights and I tend to wear long-sleeved shirts to hide it. I wish I could embrace it like this woman.

[Anise]

With or without the hair, I think she's gorgeous, both inside and outside.

Personally, I love armpit hair on women. The only reason I shave is because I like the feeling of not having hair on my calves and armpits.

[maybeizfundie]

I think her attitude is amazing.

She is a fundamentalist in terms of being someone who holds strictly to the fundamentals of their belief system. One of those fundamentals for her is no alteration of the body.

I was very glad to see her response. It was beautiful. And such a great, though very gentle, smackdown to the nasty attitude so many people have towards women who don't fit into their "standards of beauty."

(Personally though, although I could grow myself a nice beard, I won't be doing that. I can't stand the horrible black wiry hairs that grow on my chin.)

[JesusFightClub]

Practicing a religion =/= fundamentalist.

She is a fundamentalist if she adheres to the fundamentals of her religion. I don't know enough about Sikhism or Ms Kaur to say if she does, but I do know that she takes the command not to cut her hair pretty seriously.

[Sola]

I think she's beautiful. As a woman who rarely shaves I find it quite frustrating that society decides that body hair in females is wrong.

[debrand]

I have hair that grows on the top of my nose. There is enough that I shave it. However, I don't tell anyone that I shave. Most of my female friends would think that I was weird for shaving because plucking and waxing is what women do, not shave. :roll:

My son decided that he was going to shave his armpits to prevent stinking. He made the mistake of telling my brother who informed him that was a weird thing to do. I honestly don't understand the rules of hair removal. Guys can choose to remove hair from their face but they can't decide that they need to take off other body hair. Women take off hair on almost all their lower body but can only pluck or wax their face. Who decided these rules?

[snarkbillie]

I have hair that grows on the top of my nose. There is enough that I shave it. However, I don't tell anyone that I shave. Most of my female friends would think that I was weird for shaving because plucking and waxing is what women do, not shave. :roll:

My son decided that he was going to shave his armpits to prevent stinking. He made the mistake of telling my brother who informed him that was a weird thing to do. I honestly don't understand the rules of hair removal. Guys can choose to remove hair from their face but they can't decide that they need to take off other body hair. Women take off hair on almost all their lower body but can only pluck or wax their face. Who decided these rules?

There is one hair that grows near my mouth and it gets shaved. I tried to pluck it but it hurt too much and it is seemingly one hair so waxing seems like a waste. I think a lot of women shave and don't tell anyone.