United States of Bates Debut Excitement MERGED

[BlondeAsTheyCome]

In a lot of ways, the Bates' show is similar to the Duggar's. I did however like that Gil looked at Kelly while she talked. So often we only see the women staring at the men when they talk. I appreciated that Gil did the same for Kelly. It isn't a huge thing, but it always bugs me when the Duggar women stare at the men like they are the best thing on the planet.

[JenniferJuniper]

Okay, I'm not defending the Bates family, but 3.5 hours is actually a pretty long way to travel with any kids, let alone 19 of them. Growing up I had family who lived about three hours away, and we visited them once, maybe twice a year tops. Once a month would have been ridiculously optimistic, and there were only two kids involved in our family. Plus for all we know the grandparents visit them more often.

I think Mama Janie, and to an only slightly lesser extent, Papa Bill, made it very clear that their limited visits were more than enough for them.

[singsingsing]

I think Mama Janie, and to an only slightly lesser extent, Papa Bill, made it very clear that their limited visits were more than enough for them.

Yeah, that too. :lol:

[FundiesInMyFamily]

! I'd like to add how fun it was when Kelly was sharing how she met Gil as they drove through their college campus! Talked right in front of the kids about dating

Yeah that was so extra neato to watch!!!!111!!! Too bad none of their kids will experience either of those things. Happy fundies are still fundies.

[donks]

I can proudly say I didn't watch this BS... But I have a question for those who did: Did they show the skinny horses?

[JenniferJuniper]

Yeah that was so extra neato to watch!!!!111!!! Too bad none of their kids will experience either of those things. Happy fundies are still fundies.

I was concerned that the girls were being defrauded by the photos of their father in his old wrestling gitup. I do think I saw some very wide eyes…

[freealljs]

I think Mama Janie, and to an only slightly lesser extent, Papa Bill, made it very clear that their limited visits were more than enough for them.

Yes true. You may have hit the nail on the coffin, that the grandparents don't want to see the grandkids, because there are so many of them.

As for the skinny horses, no sight of them.

[Buzzard]

http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/tv/united- ... pgn=fbtlc1

HOLY CRAP! Did Smugly film this himself? Its not exactly up to TLC standards! Michelle looks like she's absolutely SEETHING and Boob is reading along with the cue cards...

[slickcat79]

I think that another part of fundies focusing on gratefulness with the kids is the fact that the parents expect them to be grateful for every little thing. Not just gifts or special treats, but food and shelter and every scrap of affection the parent sees fit to provide, in addition to the training. The child didn't ask to be born, they don't have to be grateful to their parents or god for every single thing.

Kelly at GC had an article about raising grateful kids and I remember thinking that grateful would not be the number one trait I would want for my kid :?

[Visionoyahweh]

Oh, I forgot about the part where Gil and Kelly said the family has grown larger because of the girls. The tacitly admitted that the girls do the backbreaking work of running the house.

[slowdivestellar]

I like how Kelly wants the girls to wear skirts because it's a "nice" distinction between male and female. I don't know how much distinction is needed when it comes to sexually dimorphic humans, but it seems like the skirts are working for her :clap: . Anyway, I truly like the grandparents and I think they handle the visits pretty well. I would go absolutely nuts if 21 people dropped by my house, ate all my food, and then left a huge mess for me to clean up.

[sdongo]

I get the vibe that Jim Bob and Michelle would DISOWN any child that comes out gay...(actually I know this will happen) but call me crazy but the love that comes from Kelly towards her children is something that is REAL. I honestly cant see her disowning any child of hers no matter what the reason. Michelles parenting (or whatever you wanna call what she does) Is so forced and pathetic. Kelly deeply cares and nurtures her kids and its not an act.....Even in Michelles early days on TV, you point blank dont see any mothering or nuturing going on. you see a child stuck in a grown womans body wanting to play house with her babies.

[Witsec5]

I get the warmth coming from Kelly but also believe it's only a matter of time until her other side emerges. BTW every time I see this thread, I read United States of Bates Debut Excitement as United States of Bates Debut Excretement. I don't know why, I don't usually have dyslexia!

[sdongo]

LOL....idk I always got the crazy/psycho vibe from michelle...not once did I ever think, "hey she is a good mom, or look at the love she has for her kids." I cant see Kelly changing....but than again stranger things have happened ;) ahh to be a fly on the wall at the duggar house when they creep on here and see all the nice things being said about the bates LOL

[holierthanyou]

sdongo, with only 3 posts, and all of them loving on the Bates as being so loving and genuine, you are starting to ping my radar for a Bates fan.

[tabitha2]

They do seem more natural and warm with each other than the Duggars as well as just more expressive and well spoken generally.I could believe Gill and Kelly really do enjoy the children and ,well, truly want them and to be around them and the children want to be around each other unlike JB and Michelle and co.

[singsingsing]

I do get the sense that Gil and Kelly are maybe a bit more relaxed about their life than Michelle and Jim Bob, Michelle in particular. I mean, Michelle became a Christian because she saw a movie about the end of the world, freaked out and was terrified of dying and going to hell. Then she became quiverfull because some idiot doctor told her that she killed her baby by taking birth control. With Gil and Kelly it seems like they were already conservative Christians, and they just kind of decided to become more fundamentalist. It's the difference between, "Hmm, maybe we should leave the number of children we have up to God" and "Oh no!! I killed my baby!! God wants me to have as many as possible to make up for my horrible horrible sin!" It still doesn't make them right, but it probably makes their mental health a bit more stable than Michelle's.

[Coconut Flan]

It still doesn't make them right, but it probably makes their mental health a bit more stable than Michelle's.

That's kind of how I see it too. Kelly seems more in tune with reality and doesn't seem to have had so many children so blind to the cost it would be to those children. I think Kelly and Gil seem to be more active in working around the home and in each child's life and actually knowing them as individuals.

[Sister Mozz]

I honestly cant see her disowning any child of hers no matter what the reason.

However, if she decides that she doesn't like a child's name, she has no problem changing it even after they are born. See Michal/Michael/Michaela/Michaella.

Also, no matter the name the child is actually called, she may not remember how to spell it. See Zak/Zac/Zack/Zach.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Gothardism is lurking.

Gothardism is the choking miasma of the family.

Consider an ELECTED OFFICIAL who must obey Daddy in all things, never go anywhere unaccompanied by a younger sibling and who cannot move out of the house until he marries. [Zak]

A talented, lovely young woman who is only allowed to pursue music studies at an extremely conservative Christian College that specializes in creating Independent Fundamentalist Baptist preachers and wives for the same. [Erin]

Consider a family who defines "debt free" as being it's ok to owe their son money and it's ok to stiff a hospital for huge ER and NICU charges.

Each "Gothard" family puts their own "twist" on it to be sure. Gothard does not say NO tv--just extremely limited. Some families may approve "a" show or watch a sport or something. Kelly DOES seem to be much more connected to her children than Michelle ever has. I get the impression she does allow each kid a little time for their own interests.

il Bates is hard-working and well meaning. I was like him in that I went to college not having a clue what to do and skipped skills (except for typing--thank God!) But, unlike Jim-Bob Duggar he is not a savvy real estate investor who made an incredible profit off a lucky buy/sale. He does have a college degree, as does his wife, but the bottom lime is they were unable to provide "enough" for their huge brood of children no matter what they say. Yes, in Africa 18 or 19 people might live "comfortably" in the Bates's old home, but not in America--not even in a very poor rural area. And, while they like to "help others" I imagine they took free tuition from the College for Erin and will take financial aid if any of the others transfer their CLEP test credits to a local or online school to get an actual degree.

There are contradictions and smoke screens here too, but I think on the whole the Bates are better parents. At least within the limits set by Gothardism.

[Pretzel]

What I liked about the Bateseseseses was how Kelly answered questions concerning the addition to their house. Somebody asked what she wanted the most now that they got the addition and she said something along the lines of 'More bedroom space for my girls!'. Something that I've been missing in the Duggar show for ages. Those pack'n'plays are striking roots by now. What I wanna say is, they appear to actually care about their children's needs. Gil seems genuinely proud whenever he's talking about Erin going to "college". They also seem to care more about their toddlers than the Duggars do, at least by now the "forgotten kid" tag has yet to be earned.

That's probably as far as my "raving" will get.

[Maude]

What I liked about the Bateseseseses was how Kelly answered questions concerning the addition to their house. Somebody asked what she wanted the most now that they got the addition and she said something along the lines of 'More bedroom space for my girls!'. Something that I've been missing in the Duggar show for ages. Those pack'n'plays are striking roots by now. What I wanna say is, they appear to actually care about their children's needs. Gil seems genuinely proud whenever he's talking about Erin going to "college". They also seem to care more about their toddlers than the Duggars do, at least by now the "forgotten kid" tag has yet to be earned.

That's probably as far as my "raving" will get.

I agree, they seem more 'hands-on' with their children, which is good, but the whole mooching off of Lawson thing really just peeves me. I hope they pay him back once the TLC money starts rolling in, but I won't be holding my breath.

[HOTW]

I wonder if the bates or the Duggars charge their adult children living at home a "rent" I know I did! Unless they were in college as long as they worked they had to pay for part of the expenses of running the house.

[keen23]

I only could watch a bit of the show- it was too annoying to watch the whole thing- but after what I saw- please, Free Teri! She clearly didn't want to play dress up for the Valentine's dinner, and claimed to be a jeans and tee shirt type of girl (and Erin snottily explained "she means jean skirt").

[EmmieJ]

I didn't watch the first episode because I knew any information I needed could be found on FJ :) I do agree that Kelly seems like a more involved and affectionate mother than Michelle. That's not hard to do, since Michelle does practically nothing in the mothering department once the latest blessing is off the breast. But they still follow a ridiculous belief system, and are hobbling their children's lives and futures. It really bugs me that they mooch off one of their sons in order to put groceries on the table. As the father, Gil should feel deep shame for choosing not to earn enough to feed his own family.

If they also charge the adult children rent, further shame on them. The fact that they won't let the adult children act as adults would make them hypocrites for then charging them rent because they remain living at home. Under Gothard's belief system, adult children are under the authority of their father until they get married. So they aren't supposed to move out. Charging them rent for following their parent's religious beliefs would be wrong.