Covenant Craziness

[Burris]

It has been awhile since the last time I found a sheltered teenager who, while she pretends to humility when describing her accomplishments, has no problem whatsoever in telling other people how to raise their kids. Miss Rachel blogs at Covenant Maiden and also sometimes at CovenantDevotion.com alongside her mother.

She might write like a precocious ten-year-old, but she has a holy line on the evils of rebellion. Her “daddy†is a pastor, after all – at Covenant Baptist Church. (They're also Calvinists and Dominionists, and the church website contains work by the grossly racist, sexist RL Dabney.)

There is so much wrong with Rachel's point of view that I hardly know where to begin in deconstructing it – an act that, while it won't hurt her any, she will no doubt describe as 'persecution.'

On June 5, Rachel blogged about having graduated from homeschool this year.

As a little girl I couldn't wait to grow up, be done with school, and finally become an adult as I had always wished to be. I used to think that meant being able to do whatever I wanted to do, but the older I became, the more I realized this was the furthest thing from the truth. And now, as I enter graduation, I realize it even more so. True maturity is not just in age, but in behavior, and that is a hard lesson I am still learning.

Did I mention that Rachel is all of 18 years old?

Granted, she's not a “little girl†anymore, but she still has the emotional maturity and life experience of one thanks to her wonderful, loving, devoted, excellent, blessed, Godly parents.

Eighteen years of my life have now been lived. I have gone through much laughter and tears, sorrow and bliss, heartache and happiness, pain and pleasure, grief and joy, discontentment and ease, anger and peace, strife and harmony, and I can say without remorse, it has all been worth it.

Some people have had painful experiences by the time they're 18. A young relative of mine, for example, is now a 12-year-old orphan. Her father died two years ago; her mother, last week. “Luckily,†she had been a ward of the province long before that, after having been found at age six covered in the HIV-infected blood of some random guy who had been thrown through the bay window at the front of the home where she was being “babysat.†(I'm not kidding, alas.)

Rachel, on the other hand, has spent her entire life in the shadow of her over-controlling parents, reading only the books they approved and learning whatever revisionist history caused her father to name one of her little brothers Robert E. Lee (or “Reb†for short) – a fact that makes Rachel's later whining about the evils of rebellion all the more offensive. (Her family has this 'thing' for the antebellum South. Come on – who is surprised?)

I have had my own fair share of being an unthankful and rebellious daughter...

The only thing worse than false bravado is false humility. (There might be a glimmer of the real thing in Rachel's self-effacing graduation post, but I couldn't find it.)

I mean, what – did she sneak a peek at the first Twilight “novel� Did she put some extra sugar into her Kool-Aid? Did she get whipped for stealing a cookie before dinner way, wayyyy back when she was eight years old?

I have experienced more than enough of doubting faith...

Oh no you haven't, Rachel - and I consider it a public service to help correct that.

I have lacked in many areas that I should have been triumphing in; I have wallowed in the mire of self-pity—yet God has never failed me nor left me to the evil devices of my sinful heart.

Yeah, all those years of smoking crack, including while pregnant, has made Rachel sensitive to the evil with her ow...no, wait; she's a sheltered homeschooler whose worst crime so far is having written an article - I'll get to that later - about how to raise children.

I have so many blessing to be thankful for! As I look at the whole picture of life, it isn’t bleak; rather, life is bliss!

Bleak or bliss! What drama! You'd almost think Rachel were a normal teenager or something.

Twelve years is a long time. During the middle of those twelve years I thought it was the longest period of my entire life.

The above line is perhaps the funniest in the whole article. Rachel is 18. 12 years has been the longest period of her entire life so far. Her naivety would be almost endearing if it weren't so potentially dangerous.

I don't believe a person must live through evil days and evil acts to gain experience and learn by her own mistakes and by the mistakes of others, but Rachel hasn't even been allowed to live a basically normal life – a fact that has not only stunted her growth but also robbed her of future blessings (such as the capacity to reason through problems for herself).

There is nothing wrong with Rachel's plan to become a wife and mother. Nothing wrong with her delighting in family. It's sad, though, that she hasn't been given a safe space to fully experience her doubt and to make the typical mistakes that children make without facing disproportionate guilt and punishment at the hands of her parents.

Most people at 18 have learned what it means to face gossip at the hands of their peers, for example, and eventually to ignore it; to face some basic moral choices, choosing wrongly and learning merely and wholly from their own mistakes; to have developed the thicker skins they'll need to navigate early adulthood; to create their own interior lives and begin adulthood.

Her parents didn't give her any of that. They didn't give her even the basic advantages that they themselves likely had at her age: She has been kept back to live merely as an extension of her parents' colossal egos:

A phase of childhood is now passed. I don't have the feeling I thought I would have. I used to think that graduation would begin a new kind of "freedom" for me: freedom from rules, freedom from learning, freedom from long tedious hours hunched over a desk with a stubby pencil in my aching fingers while the clock still said two hours until torture was over, freedom from childhood, and freedom the restrictions of boredom.

Although it was subtle, those attitudes were really a form of feminist independence that I couldn't wait to exercise once I "grew up" and became able to do whatever I wanted to do.

Adults outside of fundamentalism have more restrictions on their time than children do. Rachel seems to think, however, that 'worldly' adulthood is nothing but a banquet of self-destructive hedonism rather than a tedious maze of bills and rules and work. It's sometimes painful, especially when having to continue with daily chores while suffering loss – having to “play through the pain,†as it were.

Since Rachel's parents have fed her a steady stream of bullshit, however, she has this idea in her head that it's only among those who share her beliefs that people are capable of showing any character and self-control. Hers is now a budding sense of self-righteousness far worse than any of the childhood sins she believes were so terrible.

Most young people do not realize until they grow older how much influence their parents really have on them, and how much they owe everything to the love and care of the ones who raised them.

Rachel never stops to think – to truly contemplate – that some people never had caring parents, nor the same opportunities, however limited, that she has had. She thanks her parents profusely, but takes it for granted that other kids have the same sense of security in their lives (rather than their having been cruelly misused by their parents).

Certainly Rachel has been grossly deprived of facts and permission to actually grow up, but she is fed and even educated (after a fashion). In her later article – the one I'll address shortly – Rachel takes a pot-shot at “government schools†without once stopping to think how so many people around her would be entirely uneducated if left to the devices of their parents.

One cannot have a wonderful, fulfilling life outside of Jesus Christ. Without Him no one can be anyone. A life without Christ is fleeting, unfulfilling, and completely worthless.

Nice. Two-thirds of the people alive right now just go through the motions as useless husks devoid of value. Great lesson to teach your kids, fundies!

And now for the icing on the cake: Rachel's article on how rebellion is the sin of witchcraft and parents should have “Zero Tolerance†- that's the title - for anything less than cheerful, unquestioning obedience.

For this cause, every parent has had to deal with the same willful clash of subordinate despising authority: the stubborn, defiant child resisting the parents' authority (i.e. submission crisis).

...or, as non-crazy people call it, “Growing up.â€

From the very beginning, children are born with the tendency to want their own way. This is called the depraved sinful nature of the human being. Therefore, each child will actively use their sinful, rebellious will to somehow force or coerce others and circumstances to get what they want when they want, so they don't have to submit to a higher authority who tells them what to do...

It's precisely this kind of attitude that allows so many parents to abuse their infants – children too young and underdeveloped to have anything like a will of their own. Babies can't manipulate people. They cry when they need to be fed, when they need to be changed, when they need to be comforted. That's it. They have needs. They aren't yet self-aware – and self-awareness is pretty much a prerequisite for will, let alone active rebellion.

This can be seen in the five-year-old who throws a screaming tantrum in the store because he can't have the toy he wants, to the seventeen-year-old who rolls her eyes when her mother tells her to change her clothes. Rebellion reeks among the youngest to the oldest of children, and even amidst adults.

And even amongst adults? Even?! Where does Rachel think the tantrum throwing five-year-old came from? Who do you think taught, or failed to teach, the developmentally average children who nonetheless throw tantrums?

Rampant rebellion is seen throughout all of society. From clothing, music, movies, books, attitudes, government-run schools, colleges, media, bumper stickers, television, and Hollywood promotion, even so far as to say in the church, rebellion is everywhere in-our-faces.

Even as far as the church, huh? Some churches believe they are a law unto themselves, and so they become so extremely immoral that more honesty and kindness could be found in the average flop-house. If Rachel doesn't think this exists in her father's church, and in her father, then she's kidding herself. She's marked and marred already by her parents' utter disregard for the lives and experiences of anyone outside their own faith community. It's in her writing.

We cannot escape its desperate clutches, especially this modern world of 2012. Rebellion is far worse than ever before, and we are seeing a catastrophic sweeping of terrorizing rebellion amongst youth and adults alike. Even among Christians and godly families. Rebellion is everywhere.

In her article, Rachel says there's nothing new under the sun; that rebellion has always existed – and then she goes on to proclaim the pessimistic, self-serving chicken-littleism that has perverted so many people (both inside and outside the fundamentalist community). I don't know which thing is doing more damage to the future; the things that we've done or the things that we fear.

She continues...

Oh c'mon, give me a break! Rebellion likened to witchcraft? That's crazy. That's insane! I'm not some maniac, mentally-disturbed lunatic who believes in the weird forces of supernatural, magical trickery!

Pretty much. Yeah. Magical witchcraft doesn't exist.

Apparently God thinks so [that rebellion is the sin of witchcraft].

The ultimate fundie dodge. Forget logic. Forget fact. Forget context. 'God said it.'

There is zero tolerance for insolent rebellion of any kind. A child still under the household of his or her parents has no right to question the parents' authority over him, for, as Romans 13 declares, rulers are ministers of God for good.

...except for when the Colonies declared independence or when the South tried to secede. Then rebellion is awesome!

But if Rachel develops her own tastes and preferences while still living at home, it's the worst thing she could ever do – so much more terrible than the bloodshed of civil war.

I had never before thought of a parent as a minister of God exactly like a government official.

...but “government schools†are dens of iniquity. Blech. What a dippy hypocrite her parents have made of her.

Great is the love of a parent. They give birth to a child, they feed the child, they love and nurture the child, they walk that child around the room for what seems decades in the wee hours of the morning because they love the child, they give the child clothing, shelter, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, toys to play with, material aspects to indulge in, playmates to enjoy, and countless other blessings, while they the parents sacrifice so much for that beloved child. Not a day goes by when the parents are not looking out for the best interests of that child (and even other children that eventually come along). But what always happens with each child? As they grow in age and "wisdom" they learn to despise their parents.

Not all parents are good – and no, most children of decent parents never come to “despise†them. That's simply a load of over-wrought nonsense as force-fed to a child by her fundie parents and then regurgitated, much to the disgust of normal people, by that same child after she turns 18 but before she has crawled out from "under the household of...her parents."

What do parents receive after many weary years of training and raising and correcting and loving and sacrificing? The answer is ripe, hearty rebellion.

And then later, when the child grows up, the parents might receive rent money, grocery money, insurance money, and monthly stipends from their adult children and in-laws.

A child, whether three years old, or nineteen years old, has no say-so in the matter with regard to submission to his or her parents. Once a command is given, it is to be carried out with full compliance. His parents are his authority until he begins a home of his own.

There is no such thing as a 19-year-old child.

Get a freakin' job, Rachel, and move into a small apartment. Oh, I'm sorry; in your sub-culture, “stay at home daughter†has recently been legitimized as a “profession†in itself.

Too many young people fall into the trap of thinking their parents don't really understand them or what they're going through, when the truth is, their parents went through the exact same things.

Uh, not exactly. Most of the fundie parents we discuss here aren't the children of fundies. They didn't meet through the flawed “courtship model†They went to “government schools.†They chose, as adults, after having lived in a different way, to adopt a specific set of religious beliefs. They then deny their own children the same advantages and choices in the name of faithfulness, raising up a crop of immature twits who are unnaturally dependent on their parents for a lot longer than people outside their insular communities.

She then tries to parody what she thinks is part of 'childhood rebellion':

Our parents did not go through what we go through today. They're old fashioned and eccentric. Maybe even a little behind the times.

...or they spent the '70s whacked out on drugs and you, Rachel, are the product of their regrets. Ever thought of that? Ever thought of anything?

In an earlier post, Rachel goes on about how her sense of love was perverted by romance novels once upon a time, until she finally learned her dad was right and adopted his view concerning 1 Corinthians 13. Granted, her father wasn't wrong – or at least not entirely – but...wait...romance novels? *Gasp*

The truth comes out! This must have been the vile rebellion of her youth - the source of her sorrows, doubts, and regrets.

[gustava]

Thank god that she wasn't left to the "evil devices of her own heart." She might have.....might have....might have....had two scoops of icecream instead on one.

[Sprocket]

Also, if you are able, would you prayerfully consider giving to our church and ministry to help advance the Kingdom of our LORD and Saviour Jesus Christ? The devil would LOVE to see us crumble, no doubt. But with your prayer and support, we can go on working to establish what Christ has called us to do. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Read: We have eight kids, y'all so pony up some cash for our "ministry".

[Sprocket]

Ugh, they're moving to Indiana. One less family of wackadoodles in my state.

[Burris]

Read: We have eight kids, y'all so pony up some cash for our "ministry".

Yup. James Brown, Rachel's father, has recently started his own church as senior pastor. Just as we've seen here so many times before, the most outspoken Dominionists are all pastors or related to pastors. Because so many men among them want so badly to rule all they see, they tend to be "called" to the pastorate far more often than they are to the pews. “Submission to church authority†is always for someone else.

And here's a little gem from something Rachel's mother posted:

I want to have a word with the younger ladies...and maybe a few older ones as well, if it is needed. I have been married for nearly 20 years, and it seems like it has taken many of those precious years for me to realize...it's not all about me. You heard me right. When it comes down to it, we are all extremely selfish creatures.

It took Sonya 20 years to figure that out - ergo, we're all extremely selfish. She's so self-absorbed she thinks everyone else out there is whatever the hell she thinks she was.

And wait, but wouldn't this be the 20-year period over which Sonya bore eight kids, seven of whom she is still in the process of homeschooling? How utterly selfish of her.

Now I know where Rachel got her propensity for over-dramatic rhetoric.

Whether it's the perfect body, beautiful hair, the latest gadgets, our dream home, what the Jones' have, time alone, peace and quiet...You name it, we want it, and most of the time, we think we "deserve" it...

I knew even before reading it that Sonya would cite the desire for some "alone time" as a selfish want. If fundie women could pop pills that would keep them ever awake and alert, even at the expense of a decade or more off the tail end of their lives, they'd do it just so no one would tar them as selfish for needing to sleep.

We have wasted too many precious years on ourselves.

We...we...we. Is using the term "I" too selfish?

[blisterine]

Also, if you are able, would you prayerfully consider giving to our church and ministry to help advance the Kingdom of our LORD and Saviour Jesus Christ? The devil would LOVE to see us crumble, no doubt. But with your prayer and support, we can go on working to establish what Christ has called us to do. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

devil crumbles sound like some delicious fudge cookies. anybody have a recipe?

[browngrl]

nice find Burris

have already added this blog to my list of blogs I visit in anticipation of many glorious hours of snarking

[Little_Eyes]

Great find. I find myself torn between feeling pity for the life she has led and feeling angry with her sanctimonious holier than thou tone. I'm not much older than she is, but boy, does she have her shit figured out! I mean, wouldn't it just be wonderful if we could all have our lives as ordered as she does!?! Eleventy!! Sarcasm aside, I think most eighteen year olds are really struggling with who they are, who they want to be.

And, on one hand, I feel bad that she hasn't had that chance. On the other, I hate the fact that she refuses to acknowledge the limitations of her lifestyle. But mostly, I just want to bang my head against the desk.

Blisterine, my mom makes good fudge cookies, but she's an ebil working lady and uses a recipe she got online from Betty Crocker. They use brownie mix, I think.

[OkToBeTakei]

Quote:

Also, if you are able, would you prayerfully consider giving to our church and ministry to help advance the Kingdom of our LORD and Saviour Jesus Christ? The devil would LOVE to see us crumble, no doubt. But with your prayer and support, we can go on working to establish what Christ has called us to do. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

No

[notacleverpony]

From the very beginning, children are born with the tendency to want their own way. This is called the depraved sinful nature of the human being. Therefore, each child will actively use their sinful, rebellious will to somehow force or coerce others and circumstances to get what they want when they want, so they don't have to submit to a higher authority who tells them what to do...

If I didn't already know they were Calvinists, this would seal the deal for me. Oh, doctrine of total depravity, how do I loathe thee? I'd count the ways, but I'd be horrible at it, sinful fallen disgusting worm that I am. Oy.

Seriously, how do these people function under the cognitive strain of their own cripplingly low self-esteem?

[gravelmonkey]

Ugh, they're moving to Indiana. One less family of wackadoodles in my state.

And one more in mine. :angry-banghead:

[Esther]

Also, if you are able, would you prayerfully consider giving to our church and ministry to help advance the Kingdom of our LORD and Saviour Jesus Christ? The devil would LOVE to see us crumble, no doubt. But with your prayer and support, we can go on working to establish what Christ has called us to do. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

devil crumbles sound like some delicious fudge cookies. anybody have a recipe?

I really hate the word "prayerfully." Ick.

[hoipolloi]

Quite the find - thanks, Burris.

Went to Daddy's church website and, quel surprise, they're featuring free showings of "Divided," the NCFIC masterpiece. Otherwise, it sure looks like another congregation in the Church-of-Daddy-Said-So.

[Edited for riffle]

[slickcat79]

I'm not some maniac, mentally-disturbed lunatic who believes in the weird forces of supernatural, magical trickery!

The irony, it burns :roll:

[NurseNell]

How about the poem about the old gray uniform, and the evil men from the north who hated freedom! :twisted:

[teachmehowtoduggar]

Blisterine, my mom makes good fudge cookies, but she's an ebil working lady and uses a recipe she got online from Betty Crocker. They use brownie mix, I think.

Rushing to Google "devil's food cookies made with brownie mix" ZOMG!!!11

edited because I am old

[emmiedahl]

I prayerfully considered giving money to their ministry, but God told me to spend the $10 instead on a pack of cigarrettes and a bottle of cheap wine.

[Esther]

I prayerfully considered giving money to their ministry, but God told me to spend the $10 instead on a pack of cigarrettes and a bottle of cheap wine.

Praise Jesus. Who also enjoyed wine. Oh wait, no, that was sekritly grape juice, amirite.

[Witsec7]

I prayerfully considered giving money to their ministry, but God told me to spend the $10 instead on a pack of cigarrettes and a bottle of cheap wine.

And god has convicted me to have a drink, and inhale a bit of the herb. He is great, wise and yahsome!