Grandparent time at the Maxwells

[SPHASH]

Definitely read too much of this thread last night. Dreamt that i wanted to divorce Steve and in order to leave I had to give him 4 of my 6 kids (i dont have any in real life) and so I really feared for my oldest sons life so I gave him an ipod to help him rebel and find me

I've had dreams about the Maxwells too. I dreamed I was at a conference and Anna, Mary, and John asked me to help them escape. Mary also followed me around like a lost puppy.

[Jana814]

My mother (who's 82) told us how one time when she was a girl, she was changing with her swim class at the local pool and one of her friends told her that fucking was a slang word changing into your swimsuits. What can I say, mom was a little naive… Good old mom apparently yelled at the top of her lungs, "Look at us, we're fucking!" and hell rained down. The pool supervisor called my grandmother in and they read mom the riot act, with my grandmother telling mom that if she ever said that word again it would be the death of grandma. So from that time on, mom never, ever uttered the word. The worst she'd say was "Eff." (We fondly remember the day when all three of us kids were in the back seat of the car when someone cut her off, so mom flipped the bird and yelled out "EFF YOU, YOU CS!" For cocksucker, of course, but I'm sure the guy she yelled at was totally confused. The one time she let slip with the actual word, she immediately called my grandmother to make sure she was still breathing. We used to tease her mercilessly since we're pretty loose about cursing in my family (my daughter grew up with it and never once uttered a curse word inappropriately because we talked about when it was okay and when it wasn't.) Anyway, about a month after my grandmother died, mom let loose with a string of F curses when when cut herself and when we all looked at her in shock-horror and she yelled, "She's dead! I've got years of pent-up fucks I need to get out!" :shock: We just about fell over laughing.

This story is great!! (It made my day!!).

[ILoveJellybeans]

I have to share a funny kid story here...

When my oldest child (boy) was about 11-12, he was playing a game of Bananagrams with my parents. It was going fast and furious and no one was really paying attention to the words others were putting down until the game was through. Said child had recently read "The Right Stuff" and come across the word "fuck" for the first time in print. Said child was also very sheltered (our kids were all homeschooled from the get-go and I was still wading in the conservative kool-aid at this point) and though he might have heard it on the street or in passing, he didn't realize the gravity of the word or that there was anything bad about it.

I was sitting across the room (very large combo living/dining/great room) half-listening. All of a sudden I hear my father start to laugh uproariously and say "J, you can't use that word." "Why?" "Because it's a curse word." I go over and see "fuck" neatly laid out on the table and I start to laugh so hard I can hardly breathe. Then J, still not realizing how it will sound, is worried about his score in the game and says loudly "I'M NOT GIVING UP MY FUCK!" and we all just howl until we are falling out of our chairs. He loves to tell that story now. :lol:

That is the best child cursing story I have ever heard! :D

Another one of mine: When I was about 9, I was at my cousin's house. I have a cousin who is about my age, and at the time, his little brother was three. He was annoying us, so we had a great idea, lets teach him some new words! We convinced him that "piss off" meant something nice, and that his parents would be so proud of him if he went downstairs and showed off his new words. Little cousin fell for it, and proudly marched into the living room and shouted "Mommy, Daddy, piss off!". We got in so much trouble!

I would love to see one of the Maxwells say fuck. It would be the greatest thing ever. Imagine the look on Steve's face.

[mango_fandango]

Aw man, my story of kid-swearing isn't that funny, but hey ho.

When my cousin was 1 (he's now 11) he went through a period of saying "Fuck... fuck..." a lot. He'd've picked it up from either my uncle or aunt saying it, likely when they were in the kitchen or something. Hearing a kid that young saying the F-word was pretty funny, but awkward as well because if we did laugh, it would've encouraged him... but how do you explain to a one-year-old that swearing is bad? Hearing other people speak and repeating words is how they learn. They soak things up like a sponge. A kid that young isn't going to know it's a bad word.

It would be weird, though not unexpected, if the Maxwells picked up cursing from somewhere. They've been doing the Good Person/Where Do You Go When You Die talk for years, I bet they've had some people rejecting them, if not by telling them to "fuck off" then at least telling them to get lost. I'm kind of glad I live in Britain, we don't get anywhere near as many religious nutsos here, the closest most people get is Jehovah's Witnesses doing their door-to-door shit or seeing preachers in public spaces. Having said that, I did get handed some kind of leaflet for some sort of religious conference whilst I was on a train once, I quickly discarded it...

[twin2]

I had a friend, whose little boy, when he first started saying words, couldn't quite get the 'S" sound to work right, it always came out as a "Sh" sound.

Well one day he learned the word 'sit' and loved it, became his favorite word.

They would go into restaurants and wherever, and he would point and go "Shits there, we shits there!"

[BullyJBG]

:cracking-up: Holee; thanks for the therapeutic laughter!!! :cracking-up: I could share a few stories like that myself; we were SO bad to foreign exchange students in that way. And then I remember being told by a boy in school that f-off means "I love you", and it seems amusing to be saying that in a nice tone of voice.......

But, back on the topic, didn't Sarah get exposed to "filth" from a pastor's daughter when she was little? Or at that sleepover that had her traumatized? She could've learned those words then. But who knows; maybe she DID forget them after all these lovely years of sheltering.

[Miggy]

We all know the rule in Maxwell is that if you haven't heard mummy or daddy say it, you don't use it.

[Arete]

About 20 years ago, I was sitting next to a mother with a roughly 2 year old at the end of the Liturgy (Mass). The priest was reading off the announcements. The mom had given the little girl a bottle. At some point it slipped out of the little girl's hands and fell under the pew. All of a sudden, the little girl lets out a "Shit!" that the whole church heard. We all busted out laughing, including the priest who was wiping the tears from his eyes. :D

[alba]

:cracking-up: Holee; thanks for the therapeutic laughter!!! :cracking-up: I could share a few stories like that myself; we were SO bad to foreign exchange students in that way. And then I remember being told by a boy in school that f-off means "I love you", and it seems amusing to be saying that in a nice tone of voice.......

But, back on the topic, didn't Sarah get exposed to "filth" from a pastor's daughter when she was little? Or at that sleepover that had her traumatized? She could've learned those words then. But who knows; maybe she DID forget them after all these lovely years of sheltering.

Or the "filth" was words like "bum" and "breast".

[Cactus]

Many years ago, when a family friend's son was around three or four years old, we were paying them a visit and the son decided his elder sister had done something naughty. Neither we nor the people we were visiting are remotely religious, but the son had somehow associated religious words with getting in trouble, and shouted at his sister, 'That was very Jesus God of you! Go outside and punch yourself!'

We just about fell over laughing and have never let him forget it.

[Palimpsest]

Sometime in the mid-90s, I think.

That sentence makes my brain hurt.

If I haven't said this before, I've certainly thought it. Maxwell-Speak is Bureaucrat Bingo circa 1996!

[Palimpsest]

My mother (who's 82) told us how one time when she was a girl, she was changing with her swim class at the local pool and one of her friends told her that fucking was a slang word changing into your swimsuits. What can I say, mom was a little naive… Good old mom apparently yelled at the top of her lungs, "Look at us, we're fucking!" and hell rained down. The pool supervisor called my grandmother in and they read mom the riot act, with my grandmother telling mom that if she ever said that word again it would be the death of grandma. So from that time on, mom never, ever uttered the word. The worst she'd say was "Eff." (We fondly remember the day when all three of us kids were in the back seat of the car when someone cut her off, so mom flipped the bird and yelled out "EFF YOU, YOU CS!" For cocksucker, of course, but I'm sure the guy she yelled at was totally confused. The one time she let slip with the actual word, she immediately called my grandmother to make sure she was still breathing. We used to tease her mercilessly since we're pretty loose about cursing in my family (my daughter grew up with it and never once uttered a curse word inappropriately because we talked about when it was okay and when it wasn't.) Anyway, about a month after my grandmother died, mom let loose with a string of F curses when when cut herself and when we all looked at her in shock-horror and she yelled, "She's dead! I've got years of pent-up fucks I need to get out!" :shock: We just about fell over laughing.

Sparkles, please tell your mother I love her! We are crying with laughter chez Palimpsest.

Mr. P. confesses that as a small child he confused fuck and fart, although he did grasp that both activities should be performed in private. He got into big trouble for announcing at the dinner table, "Sorry. I just fucked."

[kpmom]

I was laughing when I saw one commenter ask what curriculum Melanie uses to teach the girls to read.

Sarah's answer was, "We think ABeka."

I don't know why, but I find it hard to believe Sarah, and especially her parents, wouldn't know (and have some input into) Melanie's reading curriculum.

At the very least, I imagine Melanie might have asked for some recommendations from her in-laws who wrote a book on homeschooling.

I also agree it is not unusual at all for children that age to be reading. Most kids come out of pre-school reading to a degree.

I've found in my own experience, kindergarten teachers expect a certain level of reading comprehension before children even start that grade.

[Burris]

'F*n was had.'

[ILoveJellybeans]

Many years ago, when a family friend's son was around three or four years old, we were paying them a visit and the son decided his elder sister had done something naughty. Neither we nor the people we were visiting are remotely religious, but the son had somehow associated religious words with getting in trouble, and shouted at his sister, 'That was very Jesus God of you! Go outside and punch yourself!'

We just about fell over laughing and have never let him forget it.

That is amazing :D I am laughing so hard here

[notsocommon]

My daughter was about 14/15 months and just really starting to pick up words.... I was driving down the road and some jerk ran a red light nearly hitting us. I screamed out SHIIITTTT as I dodged said Jerk.

All was quiet and my heart finally out of my throat when I hear a tiny voice from the back seat "Shit...shiiittt... SHIT!! "

I about died! Her third word, even before "Mama" *sniff* :oops: :lol:

Oh, and we lived off a large duck pond.. "Fwck" was a favorite word. She saying it like that till she was almost four. Thankfully, the speech therapist wiped that one out quickly!

[Hane]

When my daughter was two, she was sitting in her high chair eating a little cup of ice cream. When she got to the bottom of the cup and couldn't scrape out the last bit, she said, "Shit." I ignored her, so she looked me dead on the eye and repeated, "SHIT." When I asked,"What did you say?" she said, "I'm eating ice creamies and saying 'Shit.'" I told her, "We don't say those kinds of words in this house." (It didn't help that the friend I had over was laughing his ass off.) She replied, "Gramma sayez it." Of course, I was laughing hysterically by this time, and called my mother, who said, "Put that rotten kid on the phone." And my daughter listened to Grandma, and repeated, "Yes, you do. Yes, you do."

[Jana814]

Theses stories r great!! I wonder what would happy I'd any of the Maxwell grand kids said a curse word in front of Steve.

[Odd1Out]

So commenters are thanking the Maxwells for the idea of spending time with grandkids and using sidewalk chalk. Can these people really not think that up themselves. It's extremely sad when you look to the Maxwell family for ideas.

And who wants to bet that as soon as the grandchildren 'from a particular family' left, Sarah and The Reversals were out scrubbing off the driveway.

[kpmom]

So commenters are thanking the Maxwells for the idea of spending time with grandkids and using sidewalk chalk. Can these people really not think that up themselves. It's extremely sad when you look to the Maxwell family for ideas.

And who wants to bet that as soon as the grandchildren 'from a particular family' left, Sarah and The Reversals were out scrubbing off the driveway.

Knowing how much Steve loves to edit comments for his own benefit I'm wondering if the original comments were something like this;

"Do you really think we'd thank you for the idea that we should spend time with grandchildren and use sidewalk chalk, ? Do you really think we never would have thought of that ourselves! ?

[Marian the Librarian]

Theses stories r great!! I wonder what would happy I'd any of the Maxwell grand kids said a curse word in front of Steve.

He'd tell them where they're going when they die.

[already hungover]

When my best friend was in fourth or fifth grade, he did a book report on Huckleberry Finn. He was pretty sheltered and his mom is a nutso fundie. He had never seen or heard the n-word, and when he read it, he just assumed it was another word for "man". Eager to show off his new vocabulary word, he used it liberally throughout his report.

The day after he turned it in, he was summoned to the principal's office. His parents were called in because the teacher was concerned he was being raised by crazy racists. Cue awkward conversation in which my friend's superfundie mom had to explain to him what the word meant and why it's not ok to use. He burst into tears and had to go home early.

[DaffyDill]

Reading the comments on Tits2, apparently you cannot have f*n with your grandkids, nor can the your kids with your parents if they are not Christian. And presumably know where they go when they die.

So refreshing to see things like this. Although I desparately wish our children could experience things like this, since our parents are not Christians we are the first generation. So Lord willing WE will be able to do these types of things with our grandchildren and allow our children to have some one on one couple time. Thanks for sharing these precious moments!

I must call my mum and tell her that all those times she had time alone with my kids when they were little she was NOT having f*n, as she is not only not a Christian, but not the right kind.

[Jana814]

He'd tell them where they're going when they die.

Good point!!

[VodouDoll]

Wait, what? That commenter says that because her parents aren't Christian, it's not possible for her children to have fun with them? That's...weird.

Maybe she doesn't let her kids be around her parents because they're not the exact right flavor of religion? That sounds pretty culty.