Australian Blogger's Son Dies- Sparkling Adventures

[Koala]

I'll be honest and say it's one of the strangest things I've ever read.

[Witsec7]

I just read about the planned unfuneral for the lad.

[Koala]

I just read about the planned unfuneral for the lad.

Me too. It sounds like a park play date. I can't help but wonder what the authorities are thinking.

[Witsec7]

Me too. It sounds like a park play date. I can't help but wonder what the authorities are thinking.

I feel sorry for her parents, something more traditional could help their grief process.

The play date in the park thing just has my head spinning, but it is her right to grieve as she sees fit.

[tropaka]

The park thing doesn't seem that odd to me - especially if many of her friends are bringing young children - sounds like a kid-friendly wake to me.

That said I think that this woman is still in shock/denial. She's too busy taking care of stuff right now to deal with it, but it'll happen.

[luckystone]

Unfuneral? Why do they have to stick "un" in front of everything?

[Guest Anonymous]

I think some people like to make an issue of their belief that they are doing it right and others are doing it wrong... Whether they are in the church, or in a hippy commune or whatever.

[Patsy]

I feel sorry for her parents, something more traditional could help

I feel short for the four girls. I can't help but see the insistence that everything you do explicitly reinforce how awesome your parenting choice is, as immensely selfish. (and NOT thinking of the girls' needs)

[Guest Anonymous]

The fangirl comments are becoming ridiculous. One supporter is 'stunned' that the mother is not allowed to control whether or not the children have contact with their father who is in custody. Do they not realise how serious the charges are? I could understand that some might cry that the charges are a travesty if they feel he is innocent, but can they really not understand why the authorities might put boundaries around the remaining children's care, given that such serious charges have been made?

At the same time, I am puzzled as to why the little one has apparently been told she will not see her father at home again until she is 'a lady'. Not sure if that is a suggestion that the mother believes he is guilty, or a despairing acceptance of what she maybe feels is inevitable. It's the post of stuff the authorities will pick up on though, I would think.

[Guest Anonymous]

Oh dear, I wish I did not keep getting drawn back into this blog, but I feel so badly for those children.

I was reading the archives and found this entry from last December:

The dark spaces of my mind

18 December 11

There have been times before when I have fallen in between the gaps of reason and renewal, when I have stopped progressing either on the physical or on the spiritual planes and have just … stalled. This is one of those times.

Sometimes it’s called the baby blues. In Australia we use the term “black dogâ€. It was probably inevitable for me. After such a magnificent birthing story, how could the mundane aftermath ever compete?

I am thankful that we are in a house — imperfect as it is, isolated, with grime, fleas and dog-hair everywhere. Still, this house gives me a breathing space, a bedroom to retreat to, a bed to lie on as I ignore everything else.

For this is a time where I do nothing but disassociate. I separate myself from my children and from David and retreat into my mind, emerging only to lose myself in B-grade movies. Occasionally I am brought back to reality by the cries of our son or someone bringing him to me. But if I could abandon him too, I know I would do so.

I would just walk away, catch the train to the city and stay somewhere safe — somewhere where no one talks to you unless you talk first and you can wander in anonymity without ever being called on to take responsibility. I do not know where this place actually exists, which is why I am still here.

Caring for a newborn is supposed to be a lovely joy, but in truth it’s a terrible monotony. They suck you dry, demand constant care and rarely maintain eye contact long enough to encourage you that they represent a small personality. We believe that this larvae will turn into a man, but until then, he’s just a grub with a lusty pair of lungs and lips like a vice.

Our older children are pretty self-sufficient, but in times like this when I lack the energy to deal with them, they too are vampires, seeking to suck me dry for whatever nourishment — physical or emotional — that I can provide. I am thankful that I have David here full-time because he keeps the girls placated, loved and well-fed in the shadow of my neglect.

To retreat, to disassociate from those around me, means that I feel no emotional connection with those for whom I am most fond. I isolate myself from all. In order to justify my horrible behaviour, I create them into monsters — David most of all. In my mind, I magnify David’s past wrongs and personality faults until I can’t see past the looming spectre of my own creation. I say and do things to push him away, and then hate him when he retreats. He can’t win against this black dog — he can only endure the marathon of emotional abuse.

This is not an invitation for dialogue, or a conversation that I care to have with anyone. This is merely a record for the future, a window into my mind so that our daughters may one day understand and perhaps realise that I can empathise with them, if they, too, meet this black dog along the wayside.

For the black dog is an ugly beast. It’s hard to kill, and it sure takes the sparkle out of life. Until it recedes, I will retreat back into my mind, into the dark spaces where I can curl up and forget about life. For that is how it is.

I hope that whoever is in charge of the children is keeping a very close eye on them, so that the children at least can be protected if their mother crashes into depression again. I feel for the mother too, but ultimately she has to make her own choices. The children are being forced into a pretend-happy world and it must be very frightening for them.

[Witsec7]

Annie I had posted something about that blog entry earlier in the thread. After reading her blog you will find that they both have suffered from depression. At one point the husband was so depressed he did not speak for nine weeks. I'm guessing she was suffering from PPD after the latest child's birth.

[Guest Anonymous]

Annie I had posted something about that blog entry earlier in the thread. After reading her blog you will find that they both have suffered from depression. At one point the husband was so depressed he did not speak for nine weeks. I'm guessing she was suffering from PPD after the latest child's birth.

Sorry, I can see now that you did. I was restricted to the use of an unsmart phone for my web access last week, and found the blog hard to navigate. Now I am back online with my laptop and am going back over the entries. It is a hideous, hideous car crash. You are right, they both have suffered severe depression. You also mentioned earlier the entry in April when David referred to his relationship with Laren as frigid and loveless... in which Lauren mused on whether she could be generous enough to allow him to explore his passion with another woman. Did you also read the one just a day or two later, where David managed to drive their truck over the side of the road, endangering all their lives....

Off the edge

19 April 12

We’re well aware that our physical reality is simply a manifestation of spiritual truths, so I wasn’t surprised to find our truck falling off a cliff last night. David took a wrong turn in the dark, and in attempting to turn around, we almost fell off the road. [sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=1584]

I wonder if David blamed the children (and especially the baby) for taking Lauren's attention away from him. Between PPD and sharing a bed with a co-sleeping infant, it seems unlikely that he could really believe that he could win her affection any time soon.

[Witsec7]

There was a blog entry with a photo where she discussed not cosleeping. The photo was of the infant sleeping in a box.

[simplysweet]

I've spent hours reading her stuff. She is your typical baby wearing fundy mommie who will only wear red clothing, grew her dreds as a statement for unchurching, lets the 8 year old ride ATVs alone without a helmet, and all the kids are allowed to play with fire. Yea she and her husband disagree and fight a lot, but they also take long breaks from each other. In April, he comments on her blog that their marriage is loveless and frigid. But hey this is a guy who didn't speak to her for nine weeks in 2007. She also lets her PPD go untreated each time she delivers a child and spends her time in bed while life continues without her.

That poor child had two parents with some severe problems.

Which post in April does he say that? I cannot find comments on any of them......

[Guest Anonymous]

Which post in April does he say that? I cannot find comments on any of them......

sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=1587

It's in this continuation post, a few days after the first one, and also just after the truck-over-cliff incident.

[simplysweet]

It's in this continuation post, a few days after the first one, and also just after the truck-over-cliff incident.

Thanks!

Whoa! So they have 5 kids and there was a 15 year "drought" in their loveless, frigid marriage (bolding is his).......

The more I read, the more red flags pop up. Not even about poor Elijah - about this family in general. I have to hold back on the snark because of the awful circumstances but - seriously. WTF!

:dives back in headfirst:

-edited because 1 posting is enough

[Guest Anonymous]

The bridge that David 'fell off' with the baby is shown here: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-06-25/m ... th/4089600

[rollmeover]

I've read back deep in her archives. It is so sad. So strange. They seem to have no boundaries - their two year old wanders around a fairground going on rides on her own, the older girls get lost alone in the bush, they approach any wildlife they want, they let the dog get poisoned in an area where there are signs warning of poisoned bait, they swim in crocodile infested rivers, the children go canoeing alone, one child is lost for hours at night up a mountain with a man they just met, David leaps onto the backs of random horses and gets bucked off, they leave a sleeping baby in an unlocked truck while they climb a mountain, the children climb ladders onto the roof, they break every rule they come across (from height restrictions on water slides to where it is safe to camp). I started believing david had tried to kill himself and the poor baby, but reading the blog convinces me that perhaps he was just having another bizarre "adventure". His youtube page is very enlightening - http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSaviouro ... ture=watch

[Koala]

She posted some more this morning. I try not to judge another persons grief, but some of this is just beyond the pale.

The girls are so excited about Elijah’s party tomorrow. They’ve been counting down the days, and I was surprised this morning by the arrival of a special friend from Canberra. I am awed and honoured by the people who will come to the park tomorrow, and I know it’s going to be a fun day for me too!

I don't think I've ever heard a mother refer to her child's funeral as a "fun day" or talk about being excited about it. It's almost like she is refusing to see this as what it is. Her child has lost his life, and most likely it was at the hands of his father. You almost get the impression that she's going to turn this into a "sparkling adventure" if it's the last thing she does.

I can understand the little girls. They are just kids and to them it's a day at the park with friends. That said, I'm sure they loved their baby brother and I'm concerned that their mother is not going to be able to help them through the grieving process they must go through.

Honestly, I think this woman just puts a fancy name on child neglect. I've read through her blog and I don't know if she's depressed, lazy, or both, but these kids are NOT being properly cared for. Calling neglecting your kids a "lifestyle" does not make it acceptable. I'm shocked that Child Protective Services hasn't stepped in a relieved her of her responsibilities.

In housekeeping matters, I received notification yesterday that it’ll probably be months before I get my computer back, so although I’ve been taking pictures to record the sparkles in our days, I won’t be able to get them online for a while. When I do, there’ll be a rash of back-dated posts.

The emphasis on "months" is hers. It's just bizarre. Her baby is dead and she's worried that the police will have her computer too long and she won't be able to record the "sparkle in their days". Really? That computer would be the last fucking thing on my mind. :(

[Koala]

I've read back deep in her archives. It is so sad. So strange. They seem to have no boundaries - their two year old wanders around a fairground going on rides on her own, the older girls get lost alone in the bush, they approach any wildlife they want, they let the dog get poisoned in an area where there are signs warning of poisoned bait, they swim in crocodile infested rivers, the children go canoeing alone, one child is lost for hours at night up a mountain with a man they just met, David leaps onto the backs of random horses and gets bucked off, they leave a sleeping baby in an unlocked truck while they climb a mountain, the children climb ladders onto the roof, they break every rule they come across (from height restrictions on water slides to where it is safe to camp). I started believing david had tried to kill himself and the poor baby, but reading the blog convinces me that perhaps he was just having another bizarre "adventure". His youtube page is very enlightening - http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSaviouro ... ture=watch

I haven't even seen those yet. Good god why hasn't someone stepped in before now?

[Sumeri]

I really hope I'm wrong, but I see a major, major breakdown happening with this woman, and soon. I have been through the grieving process - it is different for everyone - but given her past mental history (what she has shared with us) and the absolute horror of what has happened, I see something in the realm of a psychotic break happening. Someone needs to step in and help those poor girls, instead of encouraging this behavior.

edited because I do know the difference between psychic and psychotic. Just apparently not while I'm at work.

[Koala]

I worry that she seems to be about to go off on another trip with them.

[tropaka]

I think the authorities are expecting her to break too - considering the mental health history as evidenced on her blog etc I think the restrictions placed on her re her remaining kids are to protect them from a major breakdown/urge to flee of the mother. The woman doesn't seem to have grieved yet and I predict it might hit during this "unfuneral".

[Witsec7]

Lauren is going to continue down the road after the funeral, driving their horse truck and towing a vehicle along with the trailerr? At least when they were on the road before and she was too depressed to get off her pallet David made sure there was food around for the kids. WTF is so wrong with buying an RV if you are going to be living the life of a nomad? I thought the whole horse truck conversion was sheer madness to begin with, considering the available options. And to read her writing, the kids need to be off on 'adventures' continually.

[Koala]

Lauren is going to continue down the road after the funeral, driving their horse truck and towing a vehicle along with the trailerr? At least when they were on the road before and she was too depressed to get off her pallet David made sure there was food around for the kids. WTF is so wrong with buying an RV if you are going to be living the life of a nomad? I thought the whole horse truck conversion was sheer madness to begin with, considering the available options. And to read her writing, the kids need to be off on 'adventures' continually.

Surely to god they won't let her leave with them. She is just so unstable, and those little angels need stability more than anything right now. They've lost their father and their brother, and mom is off in lala land talking about how much fun the Sparkling Funeral is going to be.

Where the hell is her family? In our family you mind your own damn business and let folks raise their own kids, but if I thought for a minute that a child in our extended was in a situation like this I would speak up (and call CPS) and damn the consequences.

Are they completely off the grid? Who do they report to regarding the "homeschooling" of these children? I'm in Alabama (home of the most lax homeschool laws on the planet) but even here you have to answer to someone. Are things that different over there?