Australian Blogger's Son Dies- Sparkling Adventures

[Sumeri]

Her twitter feed shows on the side of the blog but I guess she's made it private so you can't go to the source and read the older ones. A couple of days ago there was something about her wanting single parents who homeschool to message her because relatives were giving her a hard time about being able to handle it on her own. I hope that means involved family members are trying to stop the crazy train.

I saw that too, and wondered the same thing. She has also mentioned her father and David's brother being around right now.

[happy atheist]

From her most recent post it sounds like she's not expecting David to come home, which makes me think she believes he's guilty of killing the baby.

It’s been startling to adjust to the mindset of being a small family. From seven people to five — we suddenly fit into a regular sedan again, and I’m still uneasy with the idea.

And all of a sudden, I’m a single mum! This is never a role I imagined I’d be in.

She hasn't said anything about visiting him, or about the legal side of this at all, except this, which is totally fucked up:

My encounters with law enforcement and administrative bodies have been frustrating because I’ve discovered that I don’t yet have the words to convey the spiritual truths which gird my whole framework of being. In hesitating to share freely, I risk being misunderstood — or worse — of losing the opportunity to encourage another fellow human being in their desire for righteousness and love.

Because it’s when we share openly, when we allow ourselves to connect on an emotional level, that we realise that, hey, that other person is not so different from me. And in that realisation, our differences shrink and our love grows, and we come away from the encounter with a smile on our face and a swelling in our heart because we have shared love and received love in return.

When your husband has been arrested for killing your baby, how is your greatest concern losing the opportunity to encourage the cops and court officials in their desire for righteousness and love?

Have a negative emotion! Let it out! Be furious with the officials for arresting your husband if you think he's innocent. If you think he's guilty, then be furious (or heartbroken, or disillusioned) with him! A really, really terrible thing has happened in your life and you need to deal with it, not toss your daughters in a car and never look back.

[Witsec7]

Her twitter feed shows on the side of the blog but I guess she's made it private so you can't go to the source and read the older ones. A couple of days ago there was something about her wanting single parents who homeschool to message her because relatives were giving her a hard time about being able to handle it on her own. I hope that means involved family members are trying to stop the crazy train.

I thought that a particularly odd request considering she claims to be a 'radical unschooler'. I couldn't make any sense out of her post today, I do hope that her friends and family continue to support her and perhaps provide meals for the girls. Prior to the infants death she was going on about how pleased she was that the kids could find their own food. With David, essentially being the only one to prepare meals I have some doubts as to how the basic needs of these kids will be met. Now more than ever I'm concerned about what will happen to the girls if she takes a deeper dip into depression and and takes to her bed again without David present to pick up the slack.

David was producing income at times during their travels. Sometimes picking up jobs along the way. But that was earlier in the sparkling adventure. Most recently there wasn't much talk about his jobs. She does have skills and has worked in the past. But even in the best of times Lauren wasn't a realist.

Reducing a family of seven down to five doesn't make it a 'small' family. She's always leaned to being a speshul snowflake and letting the world know, via her blog just how speshul they were as parents. I'm a believer in free range hippy kids, but there also needs to be some structure around that whole philosophy, and anchor. The children have had none of this during their travels. We saw what a mess their campsite was, I'm sure it didn't get that way in the first twelve brief hours she was gone with the baby. Hell they couldn't even bag the dirty diapers, they just tossed them out of the truck.

[Cerdwin]

As he is in custody, it is very unlikely we will hear anything about him until something is said in court. Our prosecutors are cautious about releasing details because a 'trial by media' could easily lead to appeals later down the track.

[adidas]

As he is in custody, it is very unlikely we will hear anything about him until something is said in court. Our prosecutors are cautious about releasing details because a 'trial by media' could easily lead to appeals later down the track.

Yes, things are very quiet - which is good imo (hello Lindy Chamberlain).

I don't think anyone knew just how crazy things had become. It seems like Lauren changed a lot about her mindset and ideas about life after having her 4th daughter. I don't know how instrumental David was in that. Reading back, there are a LOT of red flags which are easy to see now that there has been a tragedy. In isolation each incident was worrying but not worthy of panic. Putting it all together is where it becomes more clear.

My first post on this thread indicated that I thought David was 100% to blame in every sense, but now I'm not so sure. I think he possibly snapped under the pressure of Lauren's (possible) mental illness. I'm not saying that he was driven to murder Elijah, just that he wasn't coping because of all the pressure he was under. Until toxicology and autopsy results are released we won't know anything for sure (it will be about another 3 weeks).

[flojo]

Gosh this is so tragic, and scary. I really hope for the best for those girls.

[Cerdwin]

Yes, things are very quiet - which is good imo (hello Lindy Chamberlain).

I don't think anyone knew just how crazy things had become. It seems like Lauren changed a lot about her mindset and ideas about life after having her 4th daughter. I don't know how instrumental David was in that. Reading back, there are a LOT of red flags which are easy to see now that there has been a tragedy. In isolation each incident was worrying but not worthy of panic. Putting it all together is where it becomes more clear.

My first post on this thread indicated that I thought David was 100% to blame in every sense, but now I'm not so sure. I think he possibly snapped under the pressure of Lauren's (possible) mental illness. I'm not saying that he was driven to murder Elijah, just that he wasn't coping because of all the pressure he was under. Until toxicology and autopsy results are released we won't know anything for sure (it will be about another 3 weeks).

This is probably a simplistic theory, but I wonder if the fact that so much love was lavished on the baby that, combined with his perception of being rejected, David harboured some resentment towards the object of such attention. There is no real evidence of David bonding with Elijah at all. Of course, there is no way a blog can show every facet of familial relationships, but it interests me that the is so much of David with the girls but nothing about him with his son.

[Guest Anonymous]

I am astonished that Lauren has so many leg-humpers posting on her fb page and around the internet. Lauren is clearly mentally ill and has had many recent periods of severe depression, according to her own writings. How did her followers miss those parts of her blog and why do they revere her actions now? The circumstances of the baby's death is shocking to me, but it seems inevitable that something was going to go badly wrong at some point, judging by the continual neglect. If there are people out there amongst her followers who know her IRL, I hope at least some of them will wake up and intervene to save the remaining children, if she tries to run off with them.

[Austin]

I am astonished that Lauren has so many leg-humpers posting on her fb page and around the internet. Lauren is clearly mentally ill and has had many recent periods of severe depression, according to her own writings. How did her followers miss those parts of her blog and why do they revere her actions now? The circumstances of the baby's death is shocking to me, but it seems inevitable that something was going to go badly wrong at some point, judging by the continual neglect. If there are people out there amongst her followers who know her IRL, I hope at least some of them will wake up and intervene to save the remaining children, if she tries to run off with them.

I just looked at the fb page for the first time and was struck by the same thing. What the fuck is wrong with these people?

I'm overwhelmed beyond speech at this whole sordid, sad, tragic tale.

[theologygeek]

I am astonished that Lauren has so many leg-humpers posting on her fb page and around the internet.

I was reading her fb page the other day. It was either hers or her site's fb page. Anyway, one of the comments caught my eye and I thought "Oh the poor woman, how sad." She said that her husband was wrongfully in jail or something like that. So I did a google search on her name and found that she had a blog where she was trying to get her husband free because of the terrible injustice that was inflicted upon him. From there, I put her husband's name in Google. Injustice my ass. The guy was chased by witnesses and held down in Walmart. People saw him grab a girl. After it came out, girls from his school (he was a teacher) also came forward to say that he molested them too.

[theologygeek]

Her twitter feed shows on the side of the blog but I guess she's made it private so you can't go to the source and read the older ones.

She put times on her latest blog posts. The times weren't there before. I wonder if she is reading here.

[Witsec7]

She put times on her latest blog posts. The times weren't there before. I wonder if she is reading here.

I would think her fan girls are. One (or two) posted early in this thread.

[theologygeek]

Today's post frightens me. She seems to be in almost a manic state. I do hope someone will intervene to stop her disappearing with the girls. :(

She's gonna crumble. There is no way she is able to be a single parent. Her husband took care of the girls and now her family is. She is going to go into shock when she has to do everything herself. Being a good single parent is very hard and it takes a lot of work.

[princessjo1988]

Reading her more recent posts, I am feeling a growing concern for the girls. I don't feel comfortable with her view that- 'oh it is just a bump, now lets on with our lives'. The fact remains that it just doesn't end when her son is buried - she will have to face inescapable media scrutiny when the trial/court dates come - to say nothing of having to be a witness in a trial, or being interviewed and re-interviewed about it. Whether she wants to or not, her life will revolve around this for possibly years. And quite frankly, I don't think she will be allowed out of the state for quite some time - meaning the chances of her 'running' are to me, quite slim.

For me - the court stuff, even the local media articles didn't end till last year - and there are still some issues outstanding that I have to deal with at some point. It has been 10 years since I first reported - and my abuser (my father) has been released on parole for about 4 years (after serving 2.5 years on nearly 200 charges - ha, wonderful example of QLD justice system right there). It has literally taken nearly half my lifetime for me to even begin to picture a life in the 'after' - and I didn't have the additional media pressure that Lauren will!

I hope that there is support (real support, that doesn't simply revolve around the sky-daddy) day to day for both Lauren and the girls. It is an incredibly complex, tragic situation, made all the more murky by mistakes that Lauren has made. I really hope this case becomes more clearer when the court case happens.

Fingers crossed that they find the truth, whatever that may be. That baby boy deserves justice, and I hope that the court system can give it to him and those who truly care about him - because it has failed so many others.

[theologygeek]

princessjo, I am very sorry that you had to, and continue to have to go through that.

[LadyBlue]

I think this is the second reference to the cord being around the baby's neck. Not that I think having a baby out in the middle of nowhere without easy access to medical intervention (if needed) is a good idea, but the cord-around-neck shouldn't be held as evidence that the baby was in danger during the birth. Babies are born with the cord around their neck frequently. You just unwrap it, as the Dad did in the video. An OB or midwife would have done the exact same thing. I understand that it can be an issue if the cord is particularly short, and I believe in that case the cord is cut and clamped right away so the baby can maneuver the rest of the way out of the birth canal without pulling too tightly on his own neck or pulling too hard on the placenta. The cord issue itself doesn't really mean anything in the assessment of these parents' brand of neglect and crazy.

Just fyi, the evidence based procedure with a tight cord is to "summersault" the baby out, keeping the head close to the perineum, and then unwrapping the cord & leaving it unclamped/uncut until it stops pulsing to give the baby a back up source of oxygenation & it's full blood supply. Really, you shouldn't even be checking for the cord as it can make the baby startle, possibly leading to problems. Many doctors & some midwives still clamp & cut a nuchal (neck) cord, but there've been a few instances recently of babies having a shoulder dystocia after the cord is cut, with very bad outcomes. With an intact cord, you have a few minutes (generally under 5) to get a stuck baby out before there's permanent damage. With a cut cord, that baby needs to be born immediately.

About this story, it sounds like neither parent was particular stable. The mother strikes me as more than just depressed, though. I'm not entirely sure she is going to have the baby's death really "hit" her & crash, though. People with several different personality disorders genuinely care nothing for anyone but themselves, although some can put on a good act. Her comments about the dead animals just really strike me as the kind of thinking of someone who only cares what use other people are to them and once they're dead or otherwise no longer useful, they don't care anymore. That kind of comes through in the treatment of her husband, as well.

Narcissists/Sociopaths can do a lot of harm to the people who have to deal with them on a daily basis. I can't help wondering if her issues pushed him to it.

Such a tragic story. My own youngest boy is only 1 1/2 months younger than Elijah was.

[Funky Chicken]

Does anyone think it at all possible that Lauren somehow caused the baby's death, and then the dad took it upon himself to stage a "murder-suicide" scenario that went "wrong"? Just wondering if the coroner might find that the baby was dead before he went off the bridge. It might explain some of the mum's "off" reactions since the event? Or is my imagination too lurid?

[Guest Anonymous]

I don't think any of the hypotheses about the possible causes of death presented so far are totally unrealistic, but the details will all have to come out in the wash. My huge concern is for the safety of the remaining children whose lives have been at risk for a long long time, and certainly a long time before Elijah died.

We haven't heard much of David's voice to be able to judge him, but Lauren is very openly a car crash waiting to happen.

[Patsy]

I think this quotes all the upthread speculation, Funky Chicken:

I never thought about the possibility of Lauren killing the child accidently. Being the attention whore she is, it would be natural for her to convince the hubby to take the blame.

I think that is probably what happened, not sure why the dad would feel like he should kill the baby with him, but that isn't really uncommon. As for the mom, IF she is the one who killed the baby, she could have drowned him at home, and dad freaked and took the body and was going to kill himself (jump while holding the body), but the survival kicked in (like you said) and he saved himself.

I don't think it's the mom. The most upsetting part of looking through that blog to me (other than the startling neglect of those girls) is the deterioration of David. It's astounding. At the beginning he looks happy and responsible and, well, normal. When you read toward the end he has those dead eyes and just looks insane. No smiles, no emotion.

[Sola]

Does anyone think it at all possible that Lauren somehow caused the baby's death, and then the dad took it upon himself to stage a "murder-suicide" scenario that went "wrong"? Just wondering if the coroner might find that the baby was dead before he went off the bridge. It might explain some of the mum's "off" reactions since the event? Or is my imagination too lurid?

Something doesn't ring true. The mother's reaction, what the father has said he did. It just doesn't add up at all.

[Koala]

She posted again this morning. http://www.sparklingadventures.com/index.php?id=1654

I also feel the loss of David who has been my best friend for almost sixteen years. He has proven himself as a strong support to me in difficult times, an involved parent and a confidante as together we figured out what our journeys were teaching us.

I wonder if she thinks he is innocent? This sounds strangely warm if believes he did this.

I grieve for the large family that we were and that I imagined we’d always be. I grieve for places and people David and I wanted to visit together.

Someone above said something about her identity being tied up in having a "large family" so it was odd to see her write that.

a future is still in front of me — bright with promises and hope.

[pixydust]

Something doesn't ring true. The mother's reaction, what the father has said he did. It just doesn't add up at all.

No it doesn't. I'm calling it: Mom drowned baby, dad found her with dead baby, tried to kill himself. Not sure WHY he is taking the blame.

[FJSharkJump]

Just fyi, the evidence based procedure with a tight cord is to "summersault" the baby out, keeping the head close to the perineum, and then unwrapping the cord & leaving it unclamped/uncut until it stops pulsing to give the baby a back up source of oxygenation & it's full blood supply. Really, you shouldn't even be checking for the cord as it can make the baby startle, possibly leading to problems. Many doctors & some midwives still clamp & cut a nuchal (neck) cord, but there've been a few instances recently of babies having a shoulder dystocia after the cord is cut, with very bad outcomes. With an intact cord, you have a few minutes (generally under 5) to get a stuck baby out before there's permanent damage. With a cut cord, that baby needs to be born immediately.

About this story, it sounds like neither parent was particular stable. The mother strikes me as more than just depressed, though. I'm not entirely sure she is going to have the baby's death really "hit" her & crash, though. People with several different personality disorders genuinely care nothing for anyone but themselves, although some can put on a good act. Her comments about the dead animals just really strike me as the kind of thinking of someone who only cares what use other people are to them and once they're dead or otherwise no longer useful, they don't care anymore. That kind of comes through in the treatment of her husband, as well.

Narcissists/Sociopaths can do a lot of harm to the people who have to deal with them on a daily basis. I can't help wondering if her issues pushed him to it.

Such a tragic story. My own youngest boy is only 1 1/2 months younger than Elijah was.

Thank you for the clarification. I don't want to misinform anyone.

[happy atheist]

I'm calling it: Mom drowned baby, dad found her with dead baby, tried to kill himself. Not sure WHY he is taking the blame.

That would be an incredibly stupid thing for him to do. IF she killed the baby, what's to stop her from harming the other children if he's not around?

It is telling though, that the last post before the baby's death is her being pissed off that David made her take all the kids with her when she went off to the city. Her day didn't sparkle!

And then there's this from "Elijah's Last Day":

I was still wearing Elijah in the sling when we walked into Beenleigh, cutting across the cemetary as we did so. Aisha was interested in some of the graves, and we read the headstones and speculated on the people who were memorialised with metal and stone. I kept noticing children’s graves and commenting to Aisha on the ages of the kids and babies.

>

On the way home, we passed through the cemetary again. Aisha and I spoke again about death, and I expressed that although we don’t understand the timing of deaths in our lives, it is always good. Aisha asked if someone in our family died, would that be good? I replied in the affirmative, saying that nothing happens that is not good. This I said to her, believing that death was far from our family, and yet now that it has knocked on our door, I believe no differently.

It seems suspicious to me that she had these conversations about dead babies and people in their family dying right before the baby died. Unless these are normal conversations for them that's an amazingly sparkling coincidence.

[Witsec7]

No it doesn't. I'm calling it: Mom drowned baby, dad found her with dead baby, tried to kill himself. Not sure WHY he is taking the blame.

I've done a lot of waffling on this. He is being charged with murder. The state should have some evidence to back up the charges. Would it not be possible to discover if the water in the the child's lungs was from a potable source (the home) or the river? Without autopsy results we don't even know if the COD was drowning.

IIRC on the bridge photos there were chalk marks made by LE to indicate the point of entry. It also showed a large pipe off the side of the bridge. One would have to literally jump out and over the obstruction to enter at that point.

It's hard to tell if she is still supporting him. Right now all she writes is 'me, me,me'. Is it possible that she believes his story?