How to get a woman to want to submit

[dairyfreelife]

strivingforwisdom.wordpress.com/2012/05/15/guest-post-how-to-get-a-women-to-want-to-submit/

 

Speaks for itself, but I'll quote one piece:

 

 

Quote

I would think any God fearing man should wish greatly for his wife to love and enjoy submitting to his leadership and not just to do it because she has to.

 

Somehow, I don't think her ideas will work. Kinda hard to take advice from an unwed SAHD about marriage success. But I'll thank these types for the tip-offs of the type of man NOT to marry.

 

She'll be doing another post soon about what women desire. Should be about as enlightening as this post. Women desire to be loved and protected (from something they don't even know) and be taken care of for life.

[gustava]

"The Story of O" by Pauline Reage

[Mela99]

Annnnd what exactly is going to make us want to loooove submitting?

[debrand]

You can also tell when a woman submits only because it’s the right thing to do but she finds no pleasure in it. Her man feels demotivated and senses her lack of confidence

.

Everything is about the man. Even if the woman submits, she might not be submitting joyfully enough and make the poor, little man feel depressed. :roll: No matter what a fundie woman does, other fundie women will still bitch at her for not being perfect enough.

[ilovetchotchkes]

Annnnd what exactly is going to make us want to loooove submitting?

Pair it with some really really REALLY hot sex?

Sorry, I have a FILTHY mind! TEE HEE!!! :twisted: :obscene-sexualvlick:

[gustava]

Pair it with some really really REALLY hot sex?

Sorry, I have a FILTHY mind! TEE HEE!!! :twisted: :obscene-sexualvlick:

Doh......."Story of O." Sooooooooo much better on submission than 50 Shades of Gray.

Get with it FJ'ers! :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh:

[Childless]

I'd rather stay single my entire life than submit to anyone. My husband is my partner in life. Partner. That means we work together. No one submits to anyone else. That is not how a healthy relationship works.

[holothuroidea]

Well, first you have to find a woman whose spirit has been completely broken. Bonus points if she received lashings as an infant. Interview her parents and make sure she had Godly Discipline. It will make life so much easier for you! I mean, you could break one yourself but why go through the trouble?

Then you have to manipulate her into never developing an identity or sense of self. A good way to do this is to be alternatively loving and domineering. Keep her good and confused. Also make sure her access to the outside world is limited. Forcing her to dress differently from others should keep her nice and isolated.

Don't forget to make sure she feels like she deserves it!!

ETA: That post had a lot more venom than I expected. :shock: I just cannot fathom these people who think a complete loss of self is a fantastically wonderful thing. It hurts my insides. :cry:

[ilovetchotchkes]

Well, first you have to find a woman whose spirit has been completely broken. Bonus points if she received lashings as an infant. Interview her parents and make sure she had Godly Discipline. It will make life so much easier for you! I mean, you could break one yourself but why go through the trouble?

Then you have to manipulate her into never developing an identity or sense of self. A good way to do this is to be alternatively loving and domineering. Keep her good and confused. Also make sure her access to the outside world is limited. Forcing her to dress differently from others should keep her nice and isolated.

Don't forget to make sure she feels like she deserves it!!

ETA: That post had a lot more venom than I expected. :shock: I just cannot fathom these people who think a complete loss of self is a fantastically wonderful thing. It hurts my insides. :cry:

Sadly though, its an excellent summary. :(

[Hisey]

I'd rather stay single my entire life than submit to anyone. My husband is my partner in life. Partner. That means we work together. No one submits to anyone else. That is not how a healthy relationship works.

Bingo! My sentiments exactly.

What kills me about Lori is that it is always the woman's fault. Have you seen her latest post? Some recently divorced man calls into her favorite radio show, asking if he can stalk--I mean, send flowers to-- his ex-wife. Apparently, he was happy in the marriage but his ex was not. Why? Who cares? The spoiled bitch wasn't happy.

Lori uses this to launch a tirade about how wrong any woman is--ever-- to be unhappy. Why won't they just try submitting, and then all the infidelity, abuse, gambling, lack of connection, drugs or alcohol will just fade away.

Here's something that creeped me out about her husband. He used to post on the comments. Once he wrote that if a wife doesn't submit, a husband has the right to "persuade" her to do so, firmly but gently, in ways he doesn't specify.

[holothuroidea]

Here's something that creeped me out about her husband. He used to post on the comments. Once he wrote that if a wife doesn't submit, a husband has the right to "persuade" her to do so, firmly but gently, in ways he doesn't specify.

I have read instructions to strike wives (and also children) "Firmly enough to damage the will but gently so as not to damage the body."

[ilovetchotchkes]

I have read instructions to strike wives (and also children) "Firmly enough to damage the will but gently so as not to damage the body."

:o

NO WORDS.

[ADoyle90815]

Bingo! My sentiments exactly.

What kills me about Lori is that it is always the woman's fault. Have you seen her latest post? Some recently divorced man calls into her favorite radio show, asking if he can stalk--I mean, send flowers to-- his ex-wife. Apparently, he was happy in the marriage but his ex was not. Why? Who cares? The spoiled bitch wasn't happy.

Lori uses this to launch a tirade about how wrong any woman is--ever-- to be unhappy. Why won't they just try submitting, and then all the infidelity, abuse, gambling, lack of connection, drugs or alcohol will just fade away.

Here's something that creeped me out about her husband. He used to post on the comments. Once he wrote that if a wife doesn't submit, a husband has the right to "persuade" her to do so, firmly but gently, in ways he doesn't specify.

It's no wonder the ex-wife got out of that marriage, as he seems like an abuser. I'm also one who would rather remain single than submit to anyone. Fortunately, my fiancee considers me an equal partner in the relationship.

[Elle]

Somehow, I don't think her ideas will work. Kinda hard to take advice from an unwed SAHD about marriage success. But I'll thank these types for the tip-offs of the type of man NOT to marry.

Heh, it's like taking marital advice from a priest. I'd rather talk to someone who's made it work for 40 years than someone who's never had it at all.

[holothuroidea]

:o

NO WORDS.

I know. It's heartbreaking. These people have turned abuse into an art form.

[GeoBQn]

I can't even picture what it would look like to "submit joyfully." The only thing that comes to mind is the original Twilight Zone episode, "The Chaser." A guy loves this girl, but she won't give him the time of day. He buys a love potion and secretly gives it to her. She ends up becoming so infatuated with him that she completely loses her identity, with absolutely no will or sense of self-preservation. She hovers around him, gazing at him lovingly, and won't do anything without him telling her first. In the words of the AV Club episode review, it's doubtful that she even remembers to feed herself without him telling her to. The guy quickly gets sick of the situation and goes out to get poison to kill her--with the woman waiting dutifully by the door for him to come back.

[alba]

My partner loves and respects me. Nope, still not submitting.

Lori uses this to launch a tirade about how wrong any woman is--ever-- to be unhappy. Why won't they just try submitting, and then all the infidelity, abuse, gambling, lack of connection, drugs or alcohol will just fade away.

What's really scary about this is that this was a common perspective a couple hundred years ago, when a woman's identity was subsumed into that of the husband under the law of coverture. This meant that a woman could not divorce her husband or own property; if she left an abusive husband and earned money, he had every right to take it from her and she had no legal recourse, because a person cannot sue him/herself. Women were also meant to submit, and if their husbands cheated on them and gave them syphillis, it was the wife's fault, not the husband's.

I was rightfully horrified when I read about this, but I'm even more horrified to find that there are people - women - who still promote this twisted thinking.

[2xx1xy1JD]

More "wisdom" from Lori:

So many women marry thinking their husbands should make them happy. They want to be nurtured and cherished. They want their husbands to understand their moods and sympathize with them. They want them to be romantic and gentle. I know. I speak from experience.

At the risk of sounding like broken record - Lori yet again manages to make her husband sound like an asshole while she pulls the martyr thing. Does she realize that she's basically telling the world, "my husband didn't make me happy, didn't nurture and cherish me, didn't understand my moods or sympathize with me, and wasn't romantic and gentle"?

[RR88]

The whole "wanting to submit" thing is a fetish, plain and simple. Many women (and men) enjoy being dominated; fundies make it seem "vanilla" by claiming such a dynamic is of God.

[ilovetchotchkes]

The whole "wanting to submit" thing is a fetish, plain and simple. Many women (and men) enjoy being dominated; fundies make it seem "vanilla" by claiming such a dynamic is of God.

QFT

Agreed 100%!!!

[holothuroidea]

The whole "wanting to submit" thing is a fetish, plain and simple. Many women (and men) enjoy being dominated; fundies make it seem "vanilla" by claiming such a dynamic is of God.

It's possible that some fundies have a submission/domination fetish, but I don't think this statement is true at all. There are plenty of fetishes that they don't justify or make vanilla. Besides, a fetish does not determine your entire lifestyle, just your sexuality. Generally people with fetishes don't extend them to all aspects of their life like fundies do with female submissiveness.

I think it comes from wanting your lifestyle spelled out for you so you dont have to choose, and so you don't bear the responsibility for it. If something doesn't work you out, you have justification and a way around it. So they follow the lifestyles that are featured in the bible, and female submissiveness made sense for those times.

There are a lot of reasons why female submissivness was a desirable thing in those days. But I doubt if they thought it was a good thing, more as just a necessary thing. I really think that if people who lived then knew about the opportunities available to people today they would be very angry at how so many waste them in a romantic longing for days gone by (that were actually really shitty) and complete laziness about finding your own direction in life.

[dairyfreelife]

It's possible that some fundies have a submission/domination fetish, but I don't think this statement is true at all. There are plenty of fetishes that they don't justify or make vanilla. Besides, a fetish does not determine your entire lifestyle, just your sexuality. Generally people with fetishes don't extend them to all aspects of their life like fundies do with female submissiveness.

I think it comes from wanting your lifestyle spelled out for you so you dont have to choose, and so you don't bear the responsibility for it. If something doesn't work you out, you have justification and a way around it. So they follow the lifestyles that are featured in the bible, and female submissiveness made sense for those times.

There are a lot of reasons why female submissivness was a desirable thing in those days. But I doubt if they thought it was a good thing, more as just a necessary thing. I really think that if people who lived then knew about the opportunities available to people today they would be very angry at how so many waste them in a romantic longing for days gone by (that were actually really shitty) and complete laziness about finding your own direction in life.

This. In Timothy and Ephesians, there are quotes that tell women to submit to their husbands. Fundamentalist Christians, and other religions as well that are similar, use these verses as truth to how a proper "Biblical" marriage is to be and a happy marriage, but they know that most people aren't happy with those. It's just a way to keep women downtrodden, having little value except to "breed", dispensable. The modesty obsession is the same way in the thinking. Women who submit are more respected, men need to be respected by birth, men are here to protect women, but they only get that protection by doing what the man says and doing otherwise makes them disobedient, but they use the God card to say that it's not about them, but it's what God wants. Men are here to protect them...from other men who want to use them. Covering up fixes this problem because "Godly" men want to see her as a person this way and can't respect her if she's not "dressed properly". Women are too emotional and don't know what they want. It's the sin of Eve. They are manipulative and want to control, so men will help them tame this "unnatural" behavior with their "natural" behavior to want contol. Men will help them from themselves. It's all just a way to control and manipulate, the very qualities they complain are evil in women.

Some people may have a "kink" for dominance/submission, but all the time in their life? Usually that's a sexual kink. These women believe what they are doing makes them holy, Godly and that they are being obedient to God's word by obeying and submitting to their husbands.

[RR88]

It also says that wives own their husbands' bodies and that husbands should love their wives, but you never hear fundies talking about that. I think the emphasis on women's submission, while excluding other ideas in the Bible, is definitely within the range of fetishism...not that I have a problem with fetishes.

[Mountain Girl]

I really think that if people who lived then knew about the opportunities available to people today they would be very angry at how so many waste them in a romantic longing for days gone by (that were actually really shitty) and complete laziness about finding your own direction in life.

YES! I've always thought this about people pining for the good ol' days. If your great-great-great-etc.-grandmother knew her descendants could have medical intervention for a dangerous pregnancy or birth, or that vaccines would be available for dangerous diseases, or that pregnancy would be preventable with a pill or a snip of tube and breeding 'til you drop unnecessary because the children you do have will probably survive...but you just ignored those things because science=ebul. I can't imagine she would be proud or happy.

[dairyfreelife]

It also says that wives own their husbands' bodies and that husbands should love their wives, but you never hear fundies talking about that. I think the emphasis on women's submission, while excluding other ideas in the Bible, is definitely within the range of fetishism...not that I have a problem with fetishes.

Actually, they do. I've read it plenty and heard it plenty. It's the one man-one woman rule. Wives own their husbands' bodies and husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church. But women are not permitted to rule over or teach a man. As such, he is the leader and wives are supposed to submit in everything. It could be that this idea is something a few of the fundies cling to more because of an obsession for whatever reason. I'd say fear, abusive spouses, trying to pretend to be holier-than-thou, trying to get shitty husbands to want them by stroking their ego completely, etc. are likely more valid reasons than a fetish for the obsession from what I've seen. And the desire to control women in men's cases. Classic way to guilt trip women into doing what they want: But God tells you to do so. You don't want to be a sinner, do you?