We're all sluts, now

[Avalondaughter]

I haven't been called a slut since my college days when I was having some non-sex action on the side from my long-distance boyfriend whom I was also not having intercourse with (just didn't feel "ready" for sex at that point in my life).

So 20 years later, having consensual sex within the bonds of matrimony, I'm a slut again. Yeah. I'm on the pill. I also want my insurance to give me better coverage on it. I had to switch perscriptions recently because the one I had been taking was costing me $90 a month. Now I'm on one that's a "reasonable" $30. Would I like it to be cheaper. Gods yes! I'm such a slut fo wanting to cheaply maintain my child-free marriage. I want to go home and boink my husband till we're both raw now!

[bekkah]

Yay! I am a slut probably for being someone who swings both ways and I've lived a pretty much celibate life............haha that would just blow his poor little mind.....

I think this anecdote is pretty f-ing hilarious. Its like a stranger danger story to teach people "safety". JUST STOP BEATING and thats your answer.

[Loveday]

I don't think I've ever been called a slut before; this is so exciting!

Is there any cake left? :P

[nolongerIFBx]

So, I'm a virgin slut who has never even kissed anyone...

Awesome! 8-)

Ditto!

Seriously, who would call the police and say, "Hi, I'm a member of FreeJinger and I'm calling about. . ."?

[StarrieEyedKat]

Is there any cake left? :P

Yes, yes there is.

[2xx1xy1JD]

How is this guy a comedian? His stuff isn't remotely funny, although it's all snark-worthy.

He wants to get rid of CPS because he thinks that they have a goal of taking children and turning them into slaves. Actually, when I was working for CPS, we had a case where we were able to help a girl who was literally being enslaved by a family member, being beaten and deprived of food. Courts and communities do not protect children by themselves. "Communities" don't have the power to investigate child abuse or take children who are clearly in danger, while CPS can get warrants to do so. Communities do help, though, by reporting concerns to CPS. The job of CPS is to investigate those concerns, to see if they are valid and serious enough to justify involvement pursuant to the standards set in in the law. The courts don't go out and check every parent. They hear the cases that CPS brings, and CPS is required to go in front of the court if they remove a child from the parents. In my jurisdiction, they have only 5 days (weekends and holidays included) to do this.

Many times, it will be clear after an initial visit that there is no cause for concern. Sometimes, only a bit of intervention is needed. Some parents agree to work voluntarily with the CPS. Sometimes, a plan is put forward by the parents to get additional supports, and sometimes other family members or people from the community come forward with a plan. In short, having CPS pay you a visit doesn't = children taken away for life.

Yes, I have personally been involved in the process, and have gone to court for CPS to have kids removed. What else do you do when a mentally ill, homeless mom on crack gives birth? Or when a alcoholic mom who has lost 10 children already gives birth to #11 in the middle of a drinking binge? Or when one parent stabs the other while the children are home? Or when parents on drugs are so clueless that they fail to prevent one child from set the diaper of the younger child on fire? Or when a mentally ill mother never sends the child to school and the child is showing signs of psychological issues? Or when a defiant and clueless young mom doesn't take a baby to the doctor or listen to basic advice on feeding and the baby is starving? Or when a 3 mo. old baby has broken ribs? Or when a 2 mo. old baby has Shaken Baby Syndrome? Or when a toddler in found dirty and hungry in a crack house, and the mother then gives birth to an underweight baby who tests positive for drugs? Or when a child is sexually abused and the family supports the abuser?

Welcome to my world. I'm not motivated by hatred of families, but by real concern for the children. The process is not easy - it IS an extreme measure to literally show up with police and forcibly remove children from their families and put them with strangers. The foster care system is far from perfect. I try to work with the families that I represent to put together good plans so that the kids don't have to stay in foster care, and so that CPS can leave their lives. CPS is a bureaucracy, and it is far from perfect. The whole process is not perfect - but it is sadly necessary.

[Moya]

Slutty and in an unholy alliance. Who would have thunk it at my age :dance: We're gonna need cake for this. :lol:

I must say you always post the coolest cakes!

[Moya]

Yes, yes there is.

This cake is quite lovely as well!

[Loveday]

Yes, yes there is.

Ooh, yummy, thanks! :dance: I love FJ, there's always a gorgeous cake to nom, and if you're late to a thread, someone posts more cake! :lol:

[Parkersmom120106]

Can men be sluts too?

According to my brother, a man who has sex outside of marriage is a whoremonger. At least that's what he said when he was busy calling all 3 of his 4 sisters sluts and calling my son a burden because I'm a single mom.

[TinyDancer87]

1) I now have a crush on Burris :drool:

2) This is one now of my favorite threads! I love how we can take criticism and LOGICALLY and EFFECTIVELY debate our point of view, instead of most fundies who claim to be "persecuted for our beliefs!", then run away and blog about it. :roll:

3) If the accusation is true, that an FJer called CPS on an abusing fundie, then HORRAY! :clap: I will NOT appologize for that. And I'm proud to be of a group that takes a stand against something so blatently wrong.

4) I'M A SLUT!! WOO HOO!!! And I'll make sure to tell my husband that tonight too... :dance:

[Moya]

Well I for one have two males in my bed every night!

It just so happens that they are also cats.

:lol: I only share my bed with my male lover/cat. He is always snuggled up next to me. Never leaves until I get up & I feed him in the morning.

[Moya]

Why aren't there more sexy times in my life, then?

Sexy times...Anyone ever hear the song "Business Time" by Flight of the Concords? I thinks it's :lol:

[Moya]

Ditto!

Seriously, who would call the police and say, "Hi, I'm a member of FreeJinger and I'm calling about. . ."?

:lol:

[Moya]

According to my brother, a man who has sex outside of marriage is a whoremonger. At least that's what he said when he was busy calling all 3 of his 4 sisters sluts and calling my son a burden because I'm a single mom.

:shock: That's horrible!

[Spider Burps]

My husband at work and there's another guy in my bed! A furry, four legged, bewhiskered guy named Shrubbery J. Cat. I'm totz a slut!!!

[Visionoyahweh]

SInce I'm a whoremonger now...

[thoughtful]

:shock: That's horrible!

I've always wondered about that word. If one is a whoremonger, then "mong" must be a verb. How, exactly, does one mong?

[Palimpsest]

I think we need a theme song and magical slut capes to wear as we dance around bonfires and plot to bring down the establishment. :banana-rock: :banana-rainbow: :banana-guitar: :banana-linedance: :banana-ninja: :banana-blonde: :banana-fingers:

Also, as a law student, the idiocy of this delights me. If they're going to make up stories, they should check on what is legal and illegal for police and reporting agencies to do first.

That being said, I'm going to whip up some cake pops, with slutty, slutty sprinkles.

Theme song? With apologies to Steven Sondheim

Gee, Officer Marinov, we’re very upset;

We never had the love that every

Child oughta get.

We ain’t no delinquents,

We’re misunderstood.

Deep down inside us there is good!

There is good!

CHORUS

There is good, there is good,

There is untapped good.

Like inside, the worse of us is GOOD!

. . .

Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,

My parents treat me rough.

With all their marijuana,

They won’t give me a puff.

They didn’t wanna have me,

But somehow I was had.

Leapin’ lizards --that’s what I’m so bad!

. . .

Hear ye, Her ye! In the opinion

Of this court of FUNDIE OPINION , these SLUTS are

Depraved on account they ain’t had normal CHRISTIAN BIBLICAL and GODLY homes.

. . .

CHORUS

We are SLUTS, we are SLUTS,

We are SLUTS SLUTS SLUTS

Like we’re biblically SLUTS!

I'm proud to be a slut and I'll take a piece of cake now please. ;)

[Conuly]

A -monger is a -seller. So a fishmonger sells fish, an ironmonger sells hardware (made of iron, presumably), a warmonger sells... wars, and a whoremonger would sell whores. Or at least rent them.

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=monger

[thoughtful]

A -monger is a -seller. So a fishmonger sells fish, an ironmonger sells hardware (made of iron, presumably), a warmonger sells... wars, and a whoremonger would sell whores. Or at least rent them.

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=monger

And yet you never hear "mong," by itself, as a verb!

[Koala]

I'm dying to know who he's talking about

[emmyfair]

I'd rather be a slut than a fundie... :)

[Conuly]

And yet you never hear "mong," by itself, as a verb!

Well, yes, but that's not unusual, especially not in English. Long story very short, it's a "bound morpheme".

[freejoytoo]

I'm a very slutty slut...got birth control for contraception and then stayed on it because it also helps my period and futhermore, my birth control is FREE because I have the ebil socialist NHS. Not that it makes me have more sex (though that could be fun) but I'm sure it adds to sluttiness in fundy logic.