The "Weird Socialization" of public schools

[finleeport]

I'm not going to lie, I find this kind of weird.

Mostly because 99% of the teenagers I meet are morons (not their fault, that's what being a teenager is all about) and I can't imagine having anything to talk about with one.

ETA: I was in several classes that had two grade in it (2/3 & 3/4 grade) so I had plenty of exposure to kids of different ages.

Its not anything perverted. We see each other at Church every Sunday or on a special holiday. Actually my church is a monastery in Wisconsin. He has friends of his own age and I do see other friends either half my age or older.

[Letgo]

So, they don't allow children of different ages play with each other?

My mom's village school was a one room school and there were kids of different ages and they played with each other at recess.

I'm 23 and I'm friends with a 14 year-old.

They allow children of various ages to play together, but are against what they call "age segregation" that happens in schools. I think kids often naturally separate themselves into groups. When my kids were growing up, all the kids in the neighborhood would often play basketball together, go swimming, etc. There was an age range of around 12 years or so from oldest to youngest. But my fifteen year old did not go next door to "play" with their eight year old. She called a friend her own age. I think this is normal, but reading some of what the fundies write, you'd think wanting to hang out with friends your own age was wrong or antisocial. I just don't see WHY they are so against having grade levels in school and why this age segregation is so awful.

[valsa]

Its not anything perverted. We see each other at Church every Sunday or on a special holiday. Actually my church is a monastery in Wisconsin. He has friends of his own age and I do see other friends either half my age or older.

I didn't think about anything perverted. I just couldn't imagine what common ground you'd have. You're in two different stages of life (early adolescents & young adulthood), two different environments (middle or high school & either college and/or the workplace), hopefully two different levels of maturity. I suppose if you had a hobby or something similar in common (since you meet at church, I could see religion) that could work.

[bananacat]

Some teenagers are mature. I had adult friends as a teenager. If it makes you sleep better at night, you could call them "role models" or "mentors" instead, especially since one of them was my "boss" (she ran a home daycare), but at the end of the day we were just friends. Why is it so weird for a 16 year-old to play a fun board game with a 40 year-old? I think it's great for adults to get involved with young people, and it doesn't have to be official. It can just a plain old friendship. Even now I have friends of all ages and at all stages of life. I don't relate to my friends with kids on every level, but I can still enjoy the other things that we have in common.

Also, most of the 14 year-olds I know are not morons. My 13 year-old nephew is very intelligent and polite and I doubt that will change on his next birthday.

[valsa]

Some teenagers are mature. I had adult friends as a teenager. If it makes you sleep better at night, you could call them "role models" or "mentors" instead, especially since one of them was my "boss" (she ran a home daycare), but at the end of the day we were just friends. Why is it so weird for a 16 year-old to play a fun board game with a 40 year-old? I think it's great for adults to get involved with young people, and it doesn't have to be official. It can just a plain old friendship. Even now I have friends of all ages and at all stages of life. I don't relate to my friends with kids on every level, but I can still enjoy the other things that we have in common.

Also, most of the 14 year-olds I know are not morons. My 13 year-old nephew is very intelligent and polite and I doubt that will change on his next birthday.

Perhaps my hang up is that, to me, "friendship" denotes a level of equality and reciprocity I’m not sure a teenager can provide for an adult.

[jenny_islander]

I don't like the social system in modern public schools, but the solution isn't to gut the public school system, it's to fund it at the proper level. Classes should be small with plenty of adult supervision to prevent vicious little power games in the corners. Students should spend as little time as possible in busywork and as much time as possible doing things that produce a visible result--everything from helping little kids with their own work to cleaning up after themselves in the classroom.

[snarkbillie]

Perhaps my hang up is that, to me, "friendship" denotes a level of equality and reciprocity I’m not sure a teenager can provide for an adult.

When I was a preschool teacher I had "friends" who were preschoolers, in the sense that if I saw them outside of class I would say "hi" and such. I did not talk to them about my problems aside from trivial things like "we ran out of milk today so I had to eat dry cereal, bleh." because they were like 4 and that's about the level of friendship they could handle. They were my friends, but not my close friends. They are older now and are still my friends but we are not on any closer terms. It's possible to have friends of all ages but up until a certain point the friendship isn't very deep. One of my favorite friends is 90 but I feel like she expects a different level of friendship from me than I do from her.... I'm her preschooler.

[valsa]

When I was a preschool teacher I had "friends" who were preschoolers, in the sense that if I saw them outside of class I would say "hi" and such. I did not talk to them about my problems aside from trivial things like "we ran out of milk today so I had to eat dry cereal, bleh." because they were like 4 and that's about the level of friendship they could handle. They were my friends, but not my close friends. They are older now and are still my friends but we are not on any closer terms. It's possible to have friends of all ages but up until a certain point the friendship isn't very deep. One of my favorite friends is 90 but I feel like she expects a different level of friendship from me than I do from her.... I'm her preschooler.

See, I would not call those people "friends". More like "friendly acquaintances."

[Wolfie]

Its not anything perverted.

Nobody said it was perverted.

[snarkbillie]

See, I would not call those people "friends". More like "friendly acquaintances."

I suppose that's more accurate. I use "acquaintance" for people I can't be bothered to remember the names of. I guess there are different levels of acquaintanceship though.

[julie paradox]

And I've got a pet peeve about people who hold to prescriptivist grammar bullshit and think that it makes them oh-so-intelligent and intellectual.

Indeed; particularly when in the very same sentence they split an infinitive.

I don't actually mind the splitting of infinitives, which is a problem manufactured in the eighteenth century by intellectuals who thought we should be closer to the Latin. On the other hand, I have no objection to ending a sentence with a preposition either.

I also don't think there's anything wrong with "I and one other person" because it changes the tone of the sentence slightly and that may be exactly what the writer intended.

In short: this is the kind of nonsense up with which I will not put.

[freejoytoo]

It makes sense to segregate children by age in schools because they are going to be at different stages mentally. A six-year-old isn't going to be able to follow an activity designed for a ten-year-old and an ten-year-old is going to be bored doing something too easy. Children can mix during school breaks.

[FlorenceHamilton]

"That said, public education is just that: education for the public. Not everyone can afford private schools (which are NOT always better, by the way), or homeschooling. It allows the lower and middle classes to send their kids to get a better education than they would get from home, since not every parent has the right educational background to teach or the ability to teach. It may not provide 100% success rate, or a million scientists in every graduating class, but it does provide a basic level of education that might allow the general public to eventually rise a little bit higher in circumstance. At least that's what it did for my grandparents and my parents."

THIS.

It is clear that our society needs to get better at educating the public. However, throwing the whole thing away is not progress. It is regress.