Its Mary the Bible Lady!

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

Thanks for the compliment. And no, you are not required to hand bible thumpers at your door cat poo in a bag. It was an opportune reaction, considering said bible thumper ignored a no soliciting sign and a mezuzah and I happened to have a bag of cat poo in my hand at the time. Its really far milder than some of the other welcomes I've given to door to door god peddlers.

Well, I didn't know you had signs. Uncool. I still think cat poop is uncool too, but to each their own. Whereas my husband enjoys getting out the bible and comparing scripture with them, especially the poor Mormon boys, I smile and as sweetly as I can manage say, "I know you are trying to evangelize, but I think your religion is a cult instituted by a liar and based on false doctrine, and I'm quite busy, but I hope you have a really nice day." :)

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

How is they're doing something good if they notice religious signs or symbols already in the house and they still want to force their dogma on people? This hasn't happened to me, but to some people they still come, week after week.

Please note the emphasis on they THINK they're doing something good

[Witsec7]

"I know you are trying to evangelize, but I think your religion is a cult instituted by a liar and based on false doctrine, and I'm quite busy, but I hope you have a really nice day."

Cool so it would be more appropriate to tell the lady she belonged to a cult that worshiped a zombie born of an unmarried teen mother? I'll remember that for next time, or for when I'm lacking a bag of warm cat turds.

[Jessica]

Well, I didn't know you had signs. Uncool. I still think cat poop is uncool too, but to each their own. Whereas my husband enjoys getting out the bible and comparing scripture with them, especially the poor Mormon boys, I smile and as sweetly as I can manage say, "I know you are trying to evangelize, but I think your religion is a cult instituted by a liar and based on false doctrine, and I'm quite busy, but I hope you have a really nice day." :)

Don't do that to them. Unless you want people with plastered-on fake smiles coming by to show you how nice and normal they are so a "seed of faith can be planted".

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

Don't do that to them. Unless you want people with plastered-on fake smiles coming by to show you how nice and normal they are so a "seed of faith can be planted".

:lol: So far, in each house I've lived in, that was all it took to keep them away.

[Austin]

Brilliant, e!

[Guest Anonymous]

Last time we were visited (very early) by door to door evangelizers, I informed them that I'd love to listen, but my voices wouldn't let me. They never came back.

[bubbabearzle]

I love your response, but I'm thinking it's not nearly as effective as the one a friend of mine's wife did accidentally: they have a pet corn snake who loves to crawl around and even go inside the wife sleeves (it's warm in there, they like warmth). Well, one day someone knocked on the door to tell her the "good news", and she forgot that she had the snake in her shirt.... until she answered the door and the lady took one look at her, mumbled, and trotted away. Apparently, the woman saw a snake crawling out at her shirt collar and freaked out. They weren't sure whether it was a general fear of snakes or the whole "serpent" thing, but they haven't been bothered again, LOL!

[fundifugee]

Chica, that was plenty kind coming from me. :lol:

Good one experiencedd.

My gay best friend has been known to mail his pets' excrement in the postage-paid envelopes provided with solicitations for donations for a variety of prosperity gospel outfits in the southeastern US.

[Witsec7]

I love your response, but I'm thinking it's not nearly as effective as the one a friend of mine's wife did accidentally: they have a pet corn snake who loves to crawl around and even go inside the wife sleeves (it's warm in there, they like warmth). Well, one day someone knocked on the door to tell her the "good news", and she forgot that she had the snake in her shirt.... until she answered the door and the lady took one look at her, mumbled, and trotted away. Apparently, the woman saw a snake crawling out at her shirt collar and freaked out. They weren't sure whether it was a general fear of snakes or the whole "serpent" thing, but they haven't been bothered again, LOL!

Oh crap its satan tempting eve!! If only she had an apple with a single bite out of it in her hand :lol:

I did take some time today and searched through some unpacked boxes and found my 'No Zealots' sign. I put that one up under the no soliciting sign. Perhaps I should follow up with a huge red cartooned arrow pointing to the mezuzah?

(BTW I love your avatar.)

[The Archivist]

I'm more bothered by the appearance of "walla" in your OP. Don't do that again.

I keep seeing this around the board (as a joke I'm sure) and it gives me the eye-twitch every time.

[JesusFightClub]

I love this, experiencedd :)

When we get the Bible pushers, it's normally a comrade who answers the door. And despite the fact he's fairly hardcore anarchist he always addresses them politely and tries to explain why we won't be interested :D

Whereas if it's me, I open the door, say "No. Fuck off and don't come back." That's if I open it in the first place.

[godlytomatosoup]

I love your response, but I'm thinking it's not nearly as effective as the one a friend of mine's wife did accidentally: they have a pet corn snake who loves to crawl around and even go inside the wife sleeves (it's warm in there, they like warmth). Well, one day someone knocked on the door to tell her the "good news", and she forgot that she had the snake in her shirt.... until she answered the door and the lady took one look at her, mumbled, and trotted away. Apparently, the woman saw a snake crawling out at her shirt collar and freaked out. They weren't sure whether it was a general fear of snakes or the whole "serpent" thing, but they haven't been bothered again, LOL!

That is beautiful (as is the OP's story.) I used to have pet rats, and they loved hanging out with my boobs where it's all warm and dark. I never actually tried showing the prosletysers my moving bosom, or reaching down and bringing out a rat and saying "This is Vlad, he wants to hear the Good News too," but now I kind of wish I had. It doesn't work so well with a cat.

[Sola]

ROFL! Oh i will have to remember that one the next time the JWs or Mormons come round!

[valsa]

Awesome. I have a "no solicitations" sign on my door too but still occasionally get a door-to-door Bible thumper. Unfortunately, I'm very, overly polite in RL and never tell them to go fuck off like I want to. But I'm young! There's still hope for me yet! And I do have 5 cats, so lots and lots of "love offerings" for these people...

[Deleted03]

I blame it on my lack of estrogen.

I'm confused. At first I thought it was the funny american way to write "voilà" because it fit the meaning in this sentence. if it's wallah (I swear on god's name or something similar in Arabic) then I don't understand how it fits the sentence... so what does it mean and why should I be outraged?

[browngrl]

I'm confused. At first I thought it was the funny american way to write "voilà" because it fit the meaning in this sentence. if it's wallah (I swear on god's name or something similar in Arabic) then I don't understand how it fits the sentence... so what does it mean and why should I be outraged?

me too, I googled "walla" and got no useful answer - please advise why I should be outraged (stepped in cat vomit this morning so I am in just the mood to be outraged>>)

[Peas n carrots]

LOL! I always say I would do something like is if fundies come a knocking, but unfortunately there is a severe lack of Christian fundies in my neighborhood. The Jewish fundies don't try to convert us heathens :-)

My great grandpa years ago once answered the door and lo and behold a couple of JW's were there to offer the Good News . Ggpa said "no use to trying to convert me, I'm going to hell anyways" to which the JW's fell on their knees and started praying in jibberish. Sometimes those responses have an unintended effect on teh fundiez.

[candycanehead]

that is weird! i used to have a really good elderly friend who was a jehovahs witness, and as such, drug me to her church more times than i can count and they never spoke in tongues.

[LilMissMetaphor]

You don't have to be outraged. We are all outraged by different things. Some get outraged by bible ladies (or Girl Scout cookie purveyors) knocking on their door, others get het up about peanut butter. *I* get anger-induced heart tremors when I see "deffinately" or "wah-lah" or "walla" or "wa-la". Then someone argues that these are perfectly acceptable versions of the actual words and I feel myself descending into a deep and dark tailspin of rage...

We all have our issues.

[tankgirl]

Oh crap its satan tempting eve!! If only she had an apple with a single bite out of it in her hand :lol:

I did take some time today and searched through some unpacked boxes and found my 'No Zealots' sign. I put that one up under the no soliciting sign. Perhaps I should follow up with a huge red cartooned arrow pointing to the mezuzah?

(BTW I love your avatar.)

Forget that just a nice note that says, "Solicitors will be given warm cat crap, and shown to the trash". Might be more fitting and helpful for the future I think. BTW I love this story it made my day.

We had a roommate once who was Pagan and wore a pentacle, one day he heard a knock at the door while making dinner. On the way he scooped up the cat who always tried to sneak out the door. He opened the door to a pair of ladies selling religion, who barely got "Hello" out of their mouths, before backing up and trying not to run as they told our roommate "bye". Unthinking he still had the knife he was using in the kitchen in one hand, a squirming kitten in the other, and his pent showing. When he realised how insane he must have looked, he told us, he wished he had thought of it on his own sooner :lol:

[Deleted03]

You don't have to be outraged. We are all outraged by different things. Some get outraged by bible ladies (or Girl Scout cookie purveyors) knocking on their door, others get het up about peanut butter. *I* get anger-induced heart tremors when I see "deffinately" or "wah-lah" or "walla" or "wa-la". Then someone argues that these are perfectly acceptable versions of the actual words and I feel myself descending into a deep and dark tailspin of rage...

We all have our issues.

so it's voilà?

I just find it hilarious, I read academic articles and I find it so hilarious when the author's trying to be all clever and all and misspell french words :P

[Witsec7]

Point of clarification:

My use of walla vs voila is a snark on a fundy who used the phonetic spelling of the word. Can't remember who it was though.

[NurseNell]

I have 5 cats so please send Mary the Bible Lady to my house, PLEASE, soon.

[Deleted03]

Point of clarification:

My use of walla vs voila is a snark on a fundy who used the phonetic spelling of the word. Can't remember who it was though.

right that's where I saw it first :P