Its Mary the Bible Lady!

[Witsec7]

Now that I'm retired I no longer find it necessary to be a wake up at the crack of dawn person. Even during my working years my DD and I had a commitment not to talk to each other until we both gave the appearance of being functional.

So this morning I get up about 9:30, stumble through my ablutions, put the coffee water on and go about picking lumps from Jamals litter boxes. With his gifts neatly secured I put my hand on the door knob with the goal of getting them to the trash bin and walla, there is a knock. I ask 'who is it' and a perky voice replies, 'It's Mary the bible lady I'm here to bring you the good news!"

I open the door and there is Mary all smiling in a denim frumper, white socks and tennies. She puts her hand out to shake mine and rather than shaking hands I shove the top of the bag into her awaiting hand. Smiling I say, " Here's a gift from Jamal, put it in the gray bin on your way out."

After another round of ablutions, I have my coffee and check to see if Mary dropped the bag on my stoop and lo and behold it was gone. Timing is everything in this world and I do hate that trudge out to the trash first thing every morning. I hope she or her minions stop by tomorrow and save me the walk to the bins.

[The Archivist]

That was very Christian of her! And Jamal. 'Tis better to give than receive.

[Witsec7]

I'm feeling god put Mary in my life for a reason. Jamal had a very generous night. :lol:

[Guest Anonymous]

Now that's a good one! :lol:

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

I really don't like the door-to-door types, but that seems a bit out of line to me.

[Witsec7]

I really don't like the door-to-door types, but that seems a bit out of line to me.

Chica, that was plenty kind coming from me. :lol:

[ZTwist]

:clap: I wouldn't have had the balls to do it, but you gotta admit, it's funny!

[Anxious Girl]

I really don't like the door-to-door types, but that seems a bit out of line to me.

Really? I think it's out of line for them to try and sell everybody else and I their religion, IMHO. Some of them don't understand that no means no. It's doubly insulting if somebody has a religious decoration and it's in plain view of them. People can find out for themselves if they want to join a religion through computers or a nearby religious building.

[Witsec7]

:clap: I wouldn't have had the balls to do it, but you gotta admit, it's funny!

Had I been fully awake it could have been worse for Mary the bible lady. But the way I figure it I don't go knocking on peoples doors selling atheism on Sat. mornings.

[browngrl]

Chica, that was plenty kind coming from me. :lol:

I think you were brilliant. If someone is going to come to MY house to spurt their religious crap to me it only seems right that they also take some crap.

[Jezebel]

Ouch--that was cold! But it was also pretty fucking funny. :lol: Who imagined that the "good news" meant "someone to take the cat poop to the bin for you!"

I'll give Mary credit for actually disposing of Jamal's "gift," though. The temptation to do something really unpleasant with it must have been pretty strong. :twisted:

[Witsec7]

Ouch--that was cold! But it was also pretty fucking funny. :lol: Who imagined that the "good news" meant "someone to take the cat poop to the bin for you!"

I'll give Mary credit for actually disposing of Jamal's "gift," though. The temptation to do something really unpleasant with it must have been pretty strong. :twisted:

It was a substantial love offering, but tightly sealed. :lol:

[koolmom]

Priceless!

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

Really? I think it's out of line for them to try and sell everybody else and I their religion, IMHO. Some of them don't understand that no means no. It's doubly insulting if somebody has a religious decoration and it's in plain view of them. People can find out for themselves if they want to join a religion through computers or a nearby religious building.

Agreed that they are out of line, but at least they think they're doing something good, especially the old lady types. It just seems so uber harsh to hand somebody a bag of cat poop, just a little too hardcore for me.

[Witsec7]

Agreed that they are out of line, but at least they think they're doing something good, especially the old lady types. It just seems so uber harsh to hand somebody a bag of cat poop, just a little too hardcore for me.

Thanks for the compliment. And no, you are not required to hand bible thumpers at your door cat poo in a bag. It was an opportune reaction, considering said bible thumper ignored a no soliciting sign and a mezuzah and I happened to have a bag of cat poo in my hand at the time. Its really far milder than some of the other welcomes I've given to door to door god peddlers.

[Anxious Girl]

Agreed that they are out of line, but at least they think they're doing something good, especially the old lady types. It just seems so uber harsh to hand somebody a bag of cat poop, just a little too hardcore for me.

How is they're doing something good if they notice religious signs or symbols already in the house and they still want to force their dogma on people? This hasn't happened to me, but to some people they still come, week after week.

[browngrl]

Agreed that they are out of line, but at least they think they're doing something good, especially the old lady types. It just seems so uber harsh to hand somebody a bag of cat poop, just a little too hardcore for me.

Maybe it is harsh but I really really* don't like anyone pushing their religion on me - I don't particularly care if they are male or female or old or young. How would they like me taking their sheltered daughters aside and advising them to get the hell out of the patriarchy? I suspect I would not be treated politely. Don't believe me? Read any fundie blog that talks about feminists (in particular might I suggest the thinking housewife/or ZsuZsu).

edited to add* really really don't like proselytizing

[Cran]

I was called rude on another forum, and rightly so, because I am rude, because I slam the door into people who show up on my doorstep and try to sell my something. Granted, I'll be extra-rude to religious people wanting to sell me something (Go back to hell where you came from!) - I perceive this as added insult upon the insult of invading my privacy with no reason. Everybody who does that has, in my opinion, no right to understanding and politeness on my part. A neighbour asking to borrow something, a handyman who needs to know where that doorbell is that needs fixing, yes, yes and yes. Salesmen? No. Perhaps they'll get it one day if nobody is nice to them and turn to other marketing strategies.

[Deleted03]

Agreed that they are out of line, but at least they think they're doing something good, especially the old lady types. It just seems so uber harsh to hand somebody a bag of cat poop, just a little too hardcore for me.

she did not have to take the bag out, she could have left it out at the door too. Hell she could have ripped it open at the door!

[Jezebel]

...And no, you are not required to hand bible thumpers at your door cat poo in a bag. It was an opportune reaction, considering said bible thumper ignored a no soliciting sign and a mezuzah and I happened to have a bag of cat poo in my hand at the time. Its really far milder than some of the other welcomes I've given to door to door god peddlers.

Okay--any feeling I might have had that you were maybe a bit harsher than necessary? It's gone, now.

[Witsec7]

Okay--any feeling I might have had that you were maybe a bit harsher than necessary? It's gone, now.

I imagine if I went to her home, uninvited and started spouting evilution or birth control I wouldn't get the kiss of peace from her. I'm pretty sure she would damn me to hell for eternity. Oh and goddess forbid what if I went to her door and started spouting off about why my cousin Michael should be able to marry his partner of 30 years-imagine the reception I would get.

I've lived most of my adult life as an atheist and I have never had the compulsion to take it door to door uninvited. I don't understand why religionists think they are such speshul snowflakes.

[ChunkyBarbie]

I have been having a very sad day and needed a laugh. Thank you!

[SpeshulTaterTot]

Now I kind of want to keep a bag with the "love offerings" from my two cats by the door just in case the Jehovah's Witnesses decide to drop by again. Absolutely brilliant!

[LilMissMetaphor]

I imagine if I went to her home, uninvited and started spouting evilution or birth control I wouldn't get the kiss of peace from her. I'm pretty sure she would damn me to hell for eternity. Oh and goddess forbid what if I went to her door and started spouting off about why my cousin Michael should be able to marry his partner of 30 years-imagine the reception I would get.

Not necessarily. Many Christians feel that Michael should be able to marry his partner and evolution should be taught in schools, and many more think birth control is a wonderful thing. Not your average fundie, certainly, which it's possible Mary-the-bible-lady was. I guess we'll never know.

I'm more bothered by the appearance of "walla" in your OP. Don't do that again.

[Witsec7]

I'm more bothered by the appearance of "walla" in your OP. Don't do that again.

I blame it on my lack of estrogen.