Awkward as hell. - Crazy Dating Email

[Guest Anonymous]

Good. Lard. Psychotic hope does spring eternal, eh? :geek:

After I received the first letter, I was beyond devastated and blamed myself for what I had done to him..... I had a very good flatmate who helped me though and handled his phone calls very dispassionately. By the time the second letter arrived, I had gained a better perspective, and the map was a source of hilarity for some time to come.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

What's really sobering is to read some of the comments under the HuffPo article. An alarming number of people feel that the woman is the problem here and that she is "bullying" him :shock: He is the victim in many people's minds.

Is it not acceptable to just not return the call of someone you've been on ONE horrible date with? I'm really asking.

I've actually never dated in the traditional sense, but it seems like just not having further contact with the person is a pretty straightforward answer. Like silence speaks volumes. It's either that or a really awkward conversation like, "Well, you're a nice enough person, but I'm really not interested in getting into a relationship right now". I wouldn't have any problem telling someone that, but a lot of people (both women and men) are very non-confrontational and don't want to have that conversation. Their lack of response or interest in future adventures seems like it should speak for itself.

Word. I too don't have experience with dating in the regular sense, so much, but... if she's not answering your mail, you need to take a hint. Or so I'd hope. You give someone your contact info, they don't use it, well, that's your answer.

Problem is, of course that NEVER works with creepy stalkers. Which I suspect this guy is.

[Kitty]

I'm already in am FB debate with some asshole who says it's Lauren's fault, but "that email wouldn't have gotten him a second date anyway." What the fuck. I am never trusting any male ever again.

[debrand]

I'm already in am FB debate with some asshole who says it's Lauren's fault, but "that email wouldn't have gotten him a second date anyway." What the fuck. I am never trusting any male ever again.

When women act as Mike did, people complain that the women are acting desperate. Isn't there a book for women called, He's Just Not That into You.

If someone does not return your calls or text that is your answer. They don't like you. Men do this to women also.One of the guys on huffingtonpost made it sound as if only women don't return calls

[MerryHappy]

I'm already in am FB debate with some asshole who says it's Lauren's fault, but "that email wouldn't have gotten him a second date anyway." What the fuck. I am never trusting any male ever again.

That is just stupid. We don't know what happened on the date that led Lauren to not return his calls.

Maybe Lauren was freaked the hell out and felt unsafe so she thought not responding to his advances was the way to go.

She probably should have just gotten a restraining order.

ETA: The guy defending Mike is stupid, not you. :)

[Austin]

When women act as Mike did, people complain that the women are acting desperate. Isn't there a book for women called, He's Just Not That into You.

If someone does not return your calls or text that is your answer. They don't like you. Men do this to women also.One of the guys on huffingtonpost made it sound as if only women don't return calls

Bingo. If a woman behaves like this, she's a hysteric or some fatal attraction character. If a man behaves like this, he's just a nice, honest, sensitive guy :roll:

And that's how we know that those who side with Mike are probably sexists.

[Free Me]

Holy fuckwittery.

My daughter takes a tumbling class which has 3 teachers. One of them spends 90% of every class playing with her hair. She actually does very little teaching because of the constant hair touching/twirling/ whateverthehell. I don't think she is trying to entice the 6 year olds.

I'm guessing the strong eye contact was her thinking, Sweet Mother of Xanax, what is wrong with this guy? :shock:

Mr McCrazy there sounds like he read a How to have a First Date book and is pissed that she didn't read her chapter.

Anyway, Hello! I am a de-lurking stalker commenting on a stalker post!

[Constance Vigilance]

Anyone who can read a letter loaded with as many red flags as this and think that a woman who runs in the opposite direction/does not engage further is doing anything but keeping herself safe has a major sexism problem.

But many people do have a major sexism problem, so voila: comments section. Don't you know men are entitled to a woman's time and attention? She doesn't have the right to refuse him without a detailed, reasonable explanation! And an apology that is acceptable to his poor bruised ego! :roll:

[Deleted03]

well some guys don't get a hint either. In that case say no, so that at least you have the clarity of mind that you are clear. Like the girl did with the psycho and the text messages upthread.

Sometimes this happens with friends too. People want to hear one thing that shows that you're the evil person, well sometimes you just need to say they're right even if they're not. That will get them off your back and stew their pity life on their own.

[Austin]

Holy fuckwittery.

My daughter takes a tumbling class which has 3 teachers. One of them spends 90% of every class playing with her hair. She actually does very little teaching because of the constant hair touching/twirling/ whateverthehell. I don't think she is trying to entice the 6 year olds.

I'm guessing the strong eye contact was her thinking, Sweet Mother of Xanax, what is wrong with this guy? :shock:

Mr McCrazy there sounds like he read a How to have a First Date book and is pissed that she didn't read her chapter.

Anyway, Hello! I am a de-lurking stalker commenting on a stalker post!

to FJ!

[snarkbillie]

Holy shit dude.

I have met these. They creep me the fuck out. Guy called me about a week after I got engaged ranting and raving about how I had led him on by having "clean hair" when I met him and making eye contact and touching my hair. I got completely uncomfortable around him after that. I had to quit my job. It's a problem when I'm afraid to take a shower before I go to work.

I blame all these "how to get a woman" books. I know a different guy who read one and said if a girl tells you her name within 1 minute of meeting it means she wants to date you. WTF?! I introduce myself to everyone, it's how I network. "Hi, my name is Snarkbillie, nice to meet you..." and then they say their name. IT'S CALLED SOCIAL SKILLS DUDE. I hate that feeling that if I mention my name, touch my hair, look at someone when they're talking to me or be polite in any way whatsoever it means they think I want to fuck them.

[Bookworm]

Ugh, I split up with a guy kind of like that once - we'd only gone on three dates but I had to "break up" with him because he was pressing me for when we could go out again. He sent me a long email about how devastated he was and why didn't I tell him in person or on the phone, and could he call me to find out what went wrong. I felt really horrible but at the same time very uncomfortable, so I just said No, sorry. Fortunately he was not the stalker type of guy, but wow, poor girl, she only played with her hair and made eye contact? And one date? This guy really needs to do some learning about relationships...

I play with my hair a lot too, but I've noticed there is only one specific thing I accidentally do that qualifies as preening near a guy I have noticed. Everything else is just a habit and happens more often when I'm by myself.

[ThisOlGirl]

It sounds like Lauren was gracious and polite through the entire date, and apparently just didn't feel a connection with him. I get the feeling that if Lauren had acted the opposite way--cold, standoffish, not much conversation, she still would have received an email, only he would have been telling her about what a horrible bitch she was and how she just missed her golden opportunity to hitch her wagon to a great catch like him. Either way, what a creeper. He sounds like the type of guy who, after being rejected by a woman, would go out and hire a prostitute and proceed to take all his rage out on her.

[snarkbillie]

If I'm interested in a guy I usually try to make plans at the end of one date for another. "It was nice meeting you." is analogous to "We'll keep your resume on file."

[Constance Vigilance]

I broke up with a Nice Guy once, and he made me come see him in person to explain why I had done such a terrible thing (I was young and impressionable, so I went. Nowadays he'd get told what's what.)

He lived far enough away that I had to stay overnight once I got there, and it was hella, hella awkward. I don't want to date you. What else is there to say? :?

[Conuly]

Or beat him at his own game and return a pompous email explaining exactly why you don't feel you're compatible . . .

That'd be funny, but seriously? You shouldn't give these people any reward for their efforts. If it takes a dozen calls and one pathetic letter to get a response, well, now they'll make another two dozen calls and send three letters!

Even if the response is negative, it's still more than nothing. "She mocked me over the internet! That must mean she's secretly interested! I just have to try harder!"

They are not rational beings.

[Constance Vigilance]

That'd be funny, but seriously? You shouldn't give these people any reward for their efforts. If it takes a dozen calls and one pathetic letter to get a response, well, now they'll make another two dozen calls and send three letters!

Even if the response is negative, it's still more than nothing. "She mocked me over the internet! That must mean she's secretly interested! I just have to try harder!"

They are not rational beings.

Agreeeeed. Any response to this level of crazy just shows them what it takes to get attention from you. Disengage. Do nto respond.

[bbfreethinker]

Holy shit dude.

I have met these. They creep me the fuck out. Guy called me about a week after I got engaged ranting and raving about how I had led him on by having "clean hair" when I met him and making eye contact and touching my hair. I got completely uncomfortable around him after that. I had to quit my job. It's a problem when I'm afraid to take a shower before I go to work.

If having clean hair is leading men on, then I must be leading on every man I see every day.

[Austin]

I broke up with a Nice Guy once, and he made me come see him in person to explain why I had done such a terrible thing (I was young and impressionable, so I went. Nowadays he'd get told what's what.)

He lived far enough away that I had to stay overnight once I got there, and it was hella, hella awkward. I don't want to date you. What else is there to say? :?

Nice Guys™ are sucking it up for the men out there who are truly nice, decent human beings.

[CynicMom]

I had one of these as a male friend once. He wouldn't take silence or lame excuses as to why I didn't want to hang out. I finally lost it and screamed at him into the phone. I don't remember exactly what I said but the phrase "I don't want to see you again ever ever ever ever EVER. NOT EVER" was part of it. He started crying. I still feel bad about that. He was just clueless and desperate and didn't understand how stalkery he was being.

[Kitty]

Good thing I only wash my hair every 2-3 days :D

But yeah, you give these guys and inch, they'll take a mile. My creepy stalker "ex" (who thinks he's my ex, we weren't in a relationship but he thought otherwise even though I thought I'd set him straight) decided to send me a message on facebook that went along the lines of "i hope ur not pregnant ur not r u lol jk" after he found out I had a new (actual!) boyfriend. And sends texts every few weeks, wanting to "hang." Bullshit. He wants sex, he wants to get back together with me, and even if he's not expecting either he'll gush on and on about how much he loves me... or he'll try to rape me. The reason I "broke up" with him to begin with was because I'd heard he had tried to rape someone else. :(

[Kitty]

I had one of these as a male friend once. He wouldn't take silence or lame excuses as to why I didn't want to hang out. I finally lost it and screamed at him into the phone. I don't remember exactly what I said but the phrase "I don't want to see you again ever ever ever ever EVER. NOT EVER" was part of it. He started crying. I still feel bad about that. He was just clueless and desperate and didn't understand how stalkery he was being.

Or he was trying to manipulate you by crying (oh god, that sounds Pearl-esque, but it's true!), and didn't care about dating you at all, just about getting laid.

[VodouDoll]

I have met these. They creep me the fuck out. Guy called me about a week after I got engaged ranting and raving about how I had led him on by having "clean hair" when I met him

You led him on by having clean hair? Wow. What a freakshow.

[Kitty]

If having clean hair is leading men on, then I must be leading on every man I see every day.

New fundie modesty standards: Never wash hair, EVER.

[Kitty]

Wow. Fuck everyone on Facebook. Holy shit.