Dear LL, I still really really hate you...and think you suck

[onlyorganic]

Liam is just a short form of William, isn't it? And isn't William considered a name any (American) person can have without it having a cultural connotation?

Yes, it's been used as nickname for William (but it's also the stand-alone Irish version of the name). I was speaking more of the traditional Irish names that offer a specific Gaelic spelling and pronunciation, something like Siobhan (pronounced as Shi-von, I've heard Sib-on), Aislin (Ash-ling, I've heard Eyes-lynn), Ruari (Rory, I've heard Roo-eerie), etc etc. If you name your child something that displays the culture it's from, a parent should be aware of the cultural connections it has. It's kind of like if I named my daughter Lakshmi just because I thought it was beautiful and had no idea she was named after a Hindu deity. If you use a Gaelic name (or any name for that matter) and can't be bothered to pronounce it correctly, that just seems ignorant.

[SunnyAndrsn]

vitafamiliae.com/?p=4316

No LL God isn't just getting this. And yes Mira is a really, really tender stage. She may love babies, but as you adopted a children from a different country, with a different language, food and culture, well she deserved more than being your baby for the 9 months it took for you to shoot another one out.

She deserved you and your time. She deserved every single moment she could get not having a baby to usurp her. And the reason you have anxiety over this? Because you suck and you know it and you know that you should have tried to prevent pregnancy.

I dislike you more every time I read something you wrote. You make me a ball of rage because it is so unfair you have children and were able to adopt from Ethiopia and people like me don't qualify.

You suck.

(also Hi you crappy parent lurkers)

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

I hate, hate, hate adopters like her. I could not agree with you more. IMO, children who are older aka not infants when they are adopted need to be in a smaller family, and IMO, ideally the youngest. Unless, of course, adopted with siblings to maintain the sibling group.

Dear Mira, you would have been my baby, the only child in my house...your beautiful face makes me want to adopt again. I would have loved to be your forever mommy.

In addition, adoption across cultural and racial lines has unique issues and I've never seen this family address those concerns. Mira deserves better.

[Hane]

I'm always tempted to respond with "Well, if I ever have a daughter, I'm going to name her Rose. It means 'fragrant flower' or 'pink'."

On a "names" board I visited once, a young woman asked for definitions of her first and middle names: Taylor Rose. I cried from the stupidity.

[Aristeia]

Agree wholeheartedly on the Gaelic names misappropriation. (Btw, it's insulting if you refer to the Irish language as "Gaelic." Not that it stops these types of people.) My favourites are the "Gaelic" names with k's or y's in them. :roll:

When I'm not at school, I work in a popular baby store that just so happens to have a giraffe mascot. The most egregious offender was a woman who came in and wanted to look up a baby registry. The registrant? Cathawwwl. For Cathal. And then she sure took the time to spell it out ever so slowly for me because I had no idea.

(I'm working towards a degree in Celtic Studies and I speak a fair bit of Irish. I'm Scottish Canadian and my grandfather is fluent in Gaidhlig. Lady, you and Cathawwl were doing it wrong.)

[NurseNell]

This. We have a close family member who is on her 2nd adoption from China. Both children had their names changed to very southern sounding names. One was 2 at the time of the adoption...the other was 3. Drives me up a wall.

My children were adopted as infants. We did change their names. We have an Irish surname. Our first son was Jorge, we changed it to Nathaniel. We didn't know our daughter's birth name, we named her Emily. 15 years later we learned her birth name was Anne, which we would have kept. Our younger son was Armando, which we almost kept but did change it to Alexander. Now he and his wife named their first son Armando. And Alex's birthfather, who didn't know about his son, named his son Alexander! So Luis' first two sons are both Alexander. If our children were older we had decided we would keep their first names. My BFF's neighbors just adopted 4 siblings out of the foster care system, and they kept their first names.

[NurseNell]

I hate, hate, hate adopters like her. I could not agree with you more. IMO, children who are older aka not infants when they are adopted need to be in a smaller family, and IMO, ideally the youngest. Unless, of course, adopted with siblings to maintain the sibling group.

Dear Mira, you would have been my baby, the only child in my house...your beautiful face makes me want to adopt again. I would have loved to be your forever mommy.

In addition, adoption across cultural and racial lines has unique issues and I've never seen this family address those concerns. Mira deserves better.

As an adopter I absolutely agree.

[onlyorganic]

The registrant? Cathawwwl. For Cathal. And then she sure took the time to spell it out ever so slowly for me because I had no idea.

At least she didn't say to you, "It means great warrior in Gaelic", because that would have been way too much! I love when people say "See-mus" for Seamus or "Do-men-hall" for Domhnall. I've heard those too.

Sorry, OT :)

[Aristeia]

At least she didn't say to you, "It means great warrior in Gaelic", because that would have been way too much! I love when people say "See-mus" for Seamus or "Do-men-hall" for Domhnall. I've heard those too.

Sorry, OT :)

If she had done that, I would have stopped speaking to her in English, full stop. (Or I would have liked to, anyway. Retail.)

I did meet one kid named Finn because he was quite large for his age and had blonde hair, and the parents knew all about Finn Mac Cumhaill. :D So that was a win.

[Kitchen Princess]

Ha, that was my first thought :D Could you pick anything more tryndee right now?

That's what I said, when my DIL said her youngest would be named Finnegan.

But then she explained that they would call him Fin (one n). Which made me say, 'then everyone will think he was named for fish, since you live in the big fishing area' (and which really pissed me off).

But then my son explained, "I had a vasectomy while she was pregnant. We're spelling it Fin, as in 'The End'.

I'm okay with that. :)

[treemom]

Finn isnt uncommon of a name here, lots of kids are named after Huck Finn.

[haveapicniclife]

I know a girl named Saoirse. I shudder to think how her teachers, etc, pronounce it (her mom does pronounce it correctly, and I gather it was a family name).

The one that cracks me up is Eoghan. I wonder how many people get that one right?

[NothingLeftToLose]

I had an Irish boyfriend named Sean... bless his heart, here in Alabama he would get called CEEN by half the people he met :?

[Olivia]

Meh, baby names are baby names. They're usually picked for stupid reasons anyway, and they seem to get sillier by the year. I could care less if someone wants to give their baby a traditional Polish name (fat chance, we don't have the 'cool' factor) without having a Polish cultural identity or heritage themselves -- we're a big mishmashed culture, and people hear names they think are nifty. I don't really want to hear all about The Story of Your Chosen Baby Name whether you're actually Irish, or just picking a Gaelic name because it's trendy and cute. It's boring regardless.

I do think - back to the OP - this is a really crappy thing to do to your adoptive child, having another baby right away before they've had a long opportunity to mesh with the family and come to feel safe. I wouldn't do that with my foster cats. But the viewpoint of these people seems to be hey, they're kids, it's not like they're people and matter...

[onlyorganic]

The one that cracks me up is Eoghan. I wonder how many people get that one right?

I think it's pronounced like the name Ian? And back to the OP, I don't think these people use bc, so her getting pregnant was "duh" and intentional because baybeez are precious gifts. I agree, it seems like they could have spent more time with their new daughter and yes, LL sounds like she's saying "M loves baybeez so it's God saying He wants her to be a big sister!", which just sounds... /facepalm.

ETA: Durrr I cheated and looked that one up. It's like Owen.

[Aristeia]

The Irish and Scottish languages are minority languages, even in Ireland and Scotland. Scots and Irish speakers can't always access services because everything is written in English. We have to fight hard to keep the languages alive. That's why "trendy" "Gaelic" names are so infuriating. That, and some people don't even know Celtic languages even exist.

OP: Vitafamiliae drives me crazy. I really, REALLY wish all the best to poor Mira, and that she continues to get the attention she deserves.

[jenny_islander]

I'm afraid that one of my relatives fell victim to the foggy foggy dew of the Celtic Twilight. She's named Maeve, pronounced "meev," and was always told it's a goddess's name. Whoops.

Our first Irish-American ancestors were named Pat and either Tim or Tom (records obscure), so we pass down all three names just to cover the bases.

About changing the names of adoptees: I know an Ethiopan girl, adopted as a preteen, whose name nobody could spell or pronounce correctly. So she went by Mitty. Unfortunately this tended to be confused with the name of her sister Mitne, who was adopted into the same family. She was considering a formal name change to Marie a while ago, but her family moved, so I don't know what happened.

[clibbyjo]

Meh, baby names are baby names. They're usually picked for stupid reasons anyway, and they seem to get sillier by the year. I could care less if someone wants to give their baby a traditional Polish name (fat chance, we don't have the 'cool' factor) without having a Polish cultural identity or heritage themselves -- we're a big mishmashed culture, and people hear names they think are nifty. I don't really want to hear all about The Story of Your Chosen Baby Name whether you're actually Irish, or just picking a Gaelic name because it's trendy and cute. It's boring regardless.

I do think - back to the OP - this is a really crappy thing to do to your adoptive child, having another baby right away before they've had a long opportunity to mesh with the family and come to feel safe. I wouldn't do that with my foster cats. But the viewpoint of these people seems to be hey, they're kids, it's not like they're people and matter...

LOL, I am 1/2 Polish and I did consider Polish names for my boys. :) I have a grandfather, uncle and cousin all named Roman which I think is a great name and Polish as far as I am concerned since my Grandfather was from Poland. :) I think with us Americans, most of us are mutts so we pick names we like or names that reflect what we know of our history . My husband is Scottish and Irish and our last name sounds like it. I could have picked Gaelic or Celtic names which would have fit and I love. I considered it but knew no one would ever say them correctly.I am slowly teaching my kids a little Gaelic and its hard. My SCA name is Brigid,pronounced "Breed",but I also like "Breet" .Brigid would have been my daughter's name had I gone that way.

[Olivia]

Oh, I love Polish names -- and I think Roman is a cool name. :) We're planning to name our babies after their grandparents (as either first or middle names, coupled with names we just like). Some of them are middle names, because, well, they're some old fashioned crazy stuff -- I wouldn't hang "Stanislaw" on a boy these days.

[longskirtlotsakids]

I'm living in America from Ireland, N Ireland. Yes, Americans have slaughtered the Irish names. I swear I have developed a twitch from eedjits who say "Isn't Scotland and Ireland the same country?"

[Deleted03]

In France we have Romain and Maeva (from Tahiti). They're all pretty close :P

[BoomerLynn]

I know a girl named Saoirse. I shudder to think how her teachers, etc, pronounce it (her mom does pronounce it correctly, and I gather it was a family name).

The one that cracks me up is Eoghan. I wonder how many people get that one right?

How exactly is Saoirse pronounced? I have some Irish and Scottish ancestry but know next to nothing about the languages. (unfortunately learning much about that side of my family is difficult...I only have my father and grandmother to ask...my father doesn't really know much and my grandmother is in the early stages of alzheimer's).

[BoomerLynn]

Grrr....double post. Sorry.

[oscar]

How exactly is Saoirse pronounced? I have some Irish and Scottish ancestry but know next to nothing about the languages. (unfortunately learning much about that side of my family is difficult...I only have my father and grandmother to ask...my father doesn't really know much and my grandmother is in the early stages of alzheimer's).

It's been difficult for us to glean much insight into a large part of our Irish heritage - my grandmother was raised to believe she was English, not Irish, in order to protect her from the anti-Irish prejudice her parents grew up with. Her husband was, culturally, exactly the shanty Irish her parents wanted to distance themselves from, and they never liked him. His heritage also included Scots and colonial-era Scots-Irish, and since there has been widespread genealogical interest in the latter group, we actually know more about his branch of the family tree than of hers.

[BoomerLynn]

It's been difficult for us to glean much insight into a large part of our Irish heritage - my grandmother was raised to believe she was English, not Irish, in order to protect her from the anti-Irish prejudice her parents grew up with. Her husband was, culturally, exactly the shanty Irish her parents wanted to distance themselves from, and they never liked him. His heritage also included Scots and colonial-era Scots-Irish, and since there has been widespread genealogical interest in the latter group, we actually know more about his branch of the family tree than of hers.

How awful it must be to have to deny your heritage.

[clibbyjo]

Oh, I love Polish names -- and I think Roman is a cool name. :) We're planning to name our babies after their grandparents (as either first or middle names, coupled with names we just like). Some of them are middle names, because, well, they're some old fashioned crazy stuff -- I wouldn't hang "Stanislaw" on a boy these days.

I hear that. We had a Stanislaw who named his kid Stanley. His son and grandson are also Stanley, but the go by Stush and Stosh. Stush is my age and little Stosh is only around 9. I think Stanislaw would have been better than Stanley these days.