Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 29

[ADoyle90815]

[church_of_dog]

[47of74]

[GreyhoundFan]

[Black Aliss]

7 hours ago, GreyhoundFan said:

They do have a point. If Biden hadn't won the election, the riot never would have happened. 

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Cancun Cruz"

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Now, before you get upset and infuriated with Ted Cruz for going on a sunny vacation with his family in Cancun (in case you’re a Republican, that’s in Mexico), keep in mind, he’s a goon. Additionally, he’s a slimy shady disingenuous shitweasel who is as fake as they come. He just hasn’t received the memo yet.

And, what’s with these goons hate-mongering on immigrants from Mexico taking vacations in Mexico? They’re not good enough to come to our country but he’s good enough to go to theirs? I expect some politician in Mexico to run for president on the campaign of building a wall to keep Ted Cruz out. I would get a really tall ladder, climb over the wall, illegally immigrate to Mexico, then illegally vote in that nation’s election to help that guy win.

Anyway, while Texas is freezing and up to four million of his constituents have been without power with some people dying, Ted has been in Cancun where it’s nice and warm. The biggest danger Ted has from the cold in Cancun is getting a brain freeze from his banana monkey.

You might think, “Well it’s not his fault this happened while he was on vacation, and you, cartoon boy, are not being fair.” But it didn’t happen while he was in Cancun. It didn’t even happen while he was in line at the airport. The freeze happened a couple of days before he left. Also, let’s not forget we’re in a pandemic and we’re trying to be responsible and discourage all travel except for the most important of reasons…not because Ted wants to sip a banana monkey on the beach (I just looked that drink up today, by the way. It looks delicious and I’m willing to try it as long as it doesn’t actually contain bits of real monkeys).

Ted was elected to represent every single person in the state of Texas. So while it’s going through a natural disaster, perhaps he should actually be in Texas. Not in Washington, D.C. and definitely not out of the country on a tropical vacation.

And imagine if you’re in the tourism industry in Mexico. You’re all like, “Oh no. Business is dying because of this pandemic. Please, God. Send us American tourists. Any American tourists. Wait. What’s that? Is it an American tourist? Yes! It is an American tourist! Why, it’s….oh fuck.”

And what has the guy Texas chose Cruz over been doing during this freeze? Beto O’Rourke has been part of a group that has called over 150,000 people, getting them to warming centers, and making sure they have food. Ted? He’s trying to recover from getting caught vacationing during a natural disaster freezing his state. While everyone else’s have been freezing, Ted’ cojones have been warm and snugly (sorry I put the image of Ted Cruz’s hot and sweaty cojones in your brain). Ted Cruz is ignoring the worst thing to happen to Texas since it elected Ted Cruz.

Naturally, after being caught, Ted is on the first flight out of Cancun…to the Bahamas. Just kidding. He’s going back to Texas. Don’t you just love that he wants to do his job AFTER everybody catches him? And, his excuse? He blamed his daughters.

These are the same daughters he used in a political ad (reading a script attacking Hillary Clinton), then got all indignant and accused those who criticized it of inserting his daughters into politics. He used an Ann Telnaes cartoon of it (she’s brilliant) in a fundraising letter.

Ted issued a statement explaining his daughters wanted to take a trip with friends, what with school canceled and all. Uh, and did Ted check to see why school was canceled? So, Ted’s poor daughters were all like “Please, father, let us go to Cancun during a pandemic.” And Ted, seeing that his children had suffered immensely from being forced to be the stars of his 2016 anti-Hillary ad, decided his girls needed to go to Cancun. And a great coincidence happened in that the girls’ friends picked out a resort that Ted and the family have stayed in before. But, Ted never intended to stay during this vacation. It was always his plan to fly to Cancun with the wife and the girls to make sure they settled in OK, and then after spending one evening in Cancun, fly to Houston to help save his constituents from freezing or having to crawl inside a tauntaun.

I call bullshit and I’m going to call bullshit again as soon as the photos come out of his staged photo-ops him pretending to help people. These pictures will be almost as genuine and believable as those photos of Melania gardening in a dress and high heels. Maybe Ted will wear high heels…and this time, he’ll be the hoe.

And right now, someone at George Bush Intercontinental Airport (seriously, that’s the name of it) is saying, “If only someone from Washington, D.C. would come to Texas and help us recover from this winter storm that’s killing our people and…wait. Is that someone from Washington approaching? They’re coming to help us! Yes! It is! It’s help from Washington! Why, it’s….Oh fuck!”

 

[GreyhoundFan]

[ADoyle90815]

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Scared Trumpers"

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Perhaps the main takeaway viewers got from CNN’s town hall with President Joe Biden was that we were listening to answers from an adult president. We have a president who isn’t a fear mongerer trying to capitalize from hate. Unlike his predecessor, we have a president now who does NOT behave like a poo-flinging monkey. I apologize for that comparison to all poo-flinging monkeys.

Even when President Biden gave answers liberals didn’t want, like you’re not going to get free college just yet, there was still comfort they were listening to an adult, someone who is honest. It was comforting. The highlight was probably when President Biden comforted a child.

A mother with her eight-year-old daughter stood up and asked Biden what to tell kids who are worried about getting Covid and dying. President Biden said, “Don’t be scared, honey. You’re gonna be fine. Don’t be scared. And we’re gonna make sure that mommy’s fine too.” He told her directly that kids don’t usually get the coronavirus, and when they do, they very rarely pass it on. He asked another questioner, whose son couldn’t get a vaccination from the virus despite serious medical issues, to hang around and talk to him after the town hall and he would see if he could help her. Did Trump ever hang around after to help anyone who wasn’t him? Did Donald Trump ever try to help anyone without getting something for it?

It was a refreshing change from a president (sic) who gave shout-outs to Nazis.

Of course, the MAGAts tried to fake outrage over President Biden calling a little girl, “honey.” These are probably the same people who laughed at Rush Limbaugh’s parody of “Puff the Magic Dragon,” but titled, “Obama the Magic Negro.” These are probably the same people who laughed when Donald Trump, “their president,” mocked a handicapped reporter with an impersonation.

Donald Trump was a hater who gained the presidency on fear and racism. His very first plan as a candidate was to build a racist border wall to keep out the “rapists and murderers” Mexico was sending us. He defended murderous Nazis marching with tiki torches while chanting “Jews will not replace us.” He gave a shout-out to the Proud Boys, a racist group the FBI says is an extremist group with ties to terrorism, while Canada doesn’t hold back and has classified them as terrorist.

President Biden said he had received calls from all of the living former presidents except one. I think we know who that is but he probably doesn’t count. And in reference to that guy, Biden didn’t want to talk about him and even referred to him as that “former guy.” I like that. It’s better than “former president.” But, some of us are obviously still talking about that former guy. So let’s talk about him.

There were a lot of things President Biden said that the former guy would never say.

That former guy wanted to feed his base, which is why he gave shout-outs to Nazis. President Biden actually told his base things they didn’t want to hear, as in no defunding of the police. He actually wants to increase funding for police. When a woman brought up the government canceling $50,000 in student loan debt per borrower and asked, “What will you do to make that happen?”. President Biden said, “I won’t.”

President Biden called those who support white supremacist ideals “dangerous” and “demented” and said his administration will review the rise of white supremacy among the military and former police officers (maybe defund racist cops? Hmm?). Donald Trump didn’t go after racists. He gave them shout-outs and praise. He talked about how much they “loved their country.” Donald Trump embraced Qanon cultists at his political rallies. By the way, if you’re still defending the attack on the Capitol, claiming the election was stolen, and support Donald Trump, you’re dangerous and demented.

President Biden said that for four years, the news has been nothing but Trump. He said, “For the next four years, I want to make sure all the news is about the American people.” Do you know who would never say that? The former guy who would hate that. He loved it being all about him. In fact, MAGA is all about Trump and less about policy. Today, 70% of Republicans want the party to be the party of Trump. MAGA is a cult.

But the one thing President Biden said that Donald Trump couldn’t have ever said even it was on a teleprompter in front of him, written by someone else, and after he had received a brain transplant was, “I literally pray that I have the capacity to do for the country what you all deserve need be done.” Pray? That former guy only went to church for photo-ops and literally didn’t know the Bible well enough to tell which side was up.

A lot of MAGAts refuse to believe Joe Biden is their president. Many still believe Donald Trump will retake the White House, not in four years, but next month. Seriously. And to be fair, Donald Trump wasn’t my president but that’s because I refused to recognize someone as president who was aided by Russia and conducted everything on hate. I refused to accept a “president” who didn’t actually want to do the job as president. I didn’t accept Trump as my president because being the president for white supremacists made it clear to me that Trump did NOT want to be my president. The people who refuse to accept Joe Biden do so because he’s decent and not that hater…except for the extreme liberals. They’re still upset he’s not Bernie.

No Green Deal, people. Sorry. It sounds good on paper but right now, people in Texas could probably use a few more cow farts.

But here’s the thing, MAGAts: Donald Trump is not coming back to retake the White House next month. And since he lost the popular vote twice, it’s not looking good for him in four years either.

Joe Biden is not perfect, but he is a good man. He’s decent. He’s honest. He doesn’t put himself first. It’s not all about him. He doesn’t try to scare everyone to keep himself in power. He doesn’t give shout-outs to Nazis. And I understand there are a lot of people, Republicans, who miss having a president who sucked up to Nazis. But he’s gone and he’s probably never coming back.

Joe Biden is your president whether you like it or not. And maybe you should start getting used to it….honey.

 

[GreyhoundFan]

[AnywhereButHere]

Texas really is spoiled for choice here.

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