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Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 27


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"Trump's Deuce"

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It’s official. Donald Trump is the worst president (sic) in American history.

In Donald Trump’s defense of being the worst president (sic) ever, he pretty much sucks in general. He’s a horrible shitty person. Also in his defense of being the worst president (sic) ever, he never actually tried to do the job. Who knows. Maybe if he actually tried to have done the job and had served he citizens of this nation instead of himself, he would only be the second or third worst president (sic) in American history.

To be fair, he was unqualified for the job and it’s a position he never should have been placed in by less than half the people of this nation and Russia. President Obama, who was elected twice, winning the popular vote BOTH times, said Donald Trump was “uniquely unqualified” for the presidency. That means his level of awfulness was off the charts. It would be really hard to find someone, anyone in this nation who could be worst at president than Donald Trump.

Also to be fair, it didn’t really take two impeachments for Donald Trump to be the worst president (sic) ever. But that second impeachment kills the argument. Say what you will about Richard Nixon, Millard Fillmore, Herbert Hoover, James Buchanan, Franklin Pierce, or Andrew Johnson, none of them were impeached twice. Johnson was only impeached once. Donald Trump was on his way to being the worst president (sic) ever the day he was “elected” president (sic).

Look at how Donald Trump was elected. Yes, the election was fair and legal. Even Trump, upset he didn’t win the popular vote, looked for voter fraud and couldn’t find any. But the way he ran his campaign was corrupt. Russia helped him win the election. Yes, Republicans keep yelling about the “Russian hoax” but it’s a fact that Donald Trump publicly asked Russia for help. It’s a fact Russians were invited to Trump Tower, the campaign HQ, to provide dirt on Hillary Clinton. It’s a fact his campaign manager was sharing polling information with people connected to Russia. Fact, fact, fuckity fact, fact.

Also before he “won” the election, his campaign started with racism and a lie. He said Mexico was sending rapists and murderers to our country and that he was going to build a big wall on the border and make Mexico pay for it. So far, he’s built about 47 miles of new wall and Mexico hasn’t sent us a penny for it.

Before he took office, he appointed his daughter and her skinny husband to “adviser” positions in the White House. The very first thing Skinny did was try to get a back channel to communicate with Russia. Why? Who knows. And it took multiple submissions of their applications for security clearances until Trump said, “Fuck it,” over-ruled the FBI who was saying, “Do NOT ever give security clearances to these treasonous trust-fund heathens,” and gave them clearances anyway. What the heck, it’s not like Donald Trump could have gotten a security clearance if he wasn’t president (sic).

And after he became president (sic), he kept adding to his resume to become the worst president (sic) ever. During his inauguration, he talked about American carnage on the steps of the capitol which was later engulfed in American carnage he created. Then, he sent his spokesgoon out to lie about crowd sizes. To this point, Donald Trump has told over 22,000 lies. His second spokesgoon continued the patter of lying…as did his third spokesgoon.

He ripped families apart, sent babies to jail and forced them to go to immigration court…alone. He got rid of DACA. He enacted a travel ban against Muslims. He talked about “shithole” countries. He said four American congresswoman with dark skin should be sent back to where they came from…which for three of them, is America. He stole an Obama Supreme Court appointment, appointed a suspected beer-loving rapist frat boy to the Supreme Court, then stole Joe Biden’s Supreme Court appointment.

He made the Justice Department the Department of Protecting Donald Trump. Appointed an attorney general who was a total sycophant and worked to protect Trump. He pardoned his criminal associates. Over 80% of Trump pardons have been for Trump goons.

Donald Trump probably had the most turnovers of any administration. And he probably has the most former staffers who are willing to talk shit about him and call him a “fucking moron.” Contributing to him being a bad president (sic), Ivanka and Skinny never quit. From the look of it, Joe Biden might have to physically throw them out of the White House.

He used the presidency to enrich himself. Every foreign diplomat and Trump sycophant booked rooms and events at Trump Hotels and resorts. He bilked the Secret Service and charged them to protect him. He only stayed at his resorts which was charged to the taxpayers. His campaign held events at his resorts which means money donated to his campaign when to the Trump Organization. He tried to have world summit rewarded to one of crappy golf resorts. His UK ambassador tried to get the British Open awarded to one of his resorts. And on top of all that, he played more golf than, not just any president before him, but more golf than anyone ever.

He spread conspiracy theories and said a lot of stupid stuff. He retweeted Nazis. He was laughed at by foreign leaders and diplomats. He took us out of the Paris Climate Agreement, eager to contribute more to global warming, and ripped up the Iran Nuclear Agreement which made it easier for that nation to acquire a nuclear weapon.

He had an Iranian general murdered. Say what you will about Iranian generals, but we’re not supposed to assassinate people. It’s just bad form.

He embraced dictators. He said he was in love with Kim Jong Un and gave him credibility and respect. He coddled other dictators and strongmen. Mostly, he loved Vladimir Putin. Donald Trump never said one bad word about the guy and when it came down to choosing between America and Putin, he always chose Putin.

And then there were the Nazis. He retweeted Nazis. He retweeted Nazi’s conspiracy theories and lies. During his debate with Joe Biden, he gave a shout-out to Proud Boys. But worst was Charlottesville where Nazis marched in polo shirts and with tiki torches while chanting “Jews will not replace us” and “Blood and soil” before one of them killed Heather Heyer. Donald Trump said there “good people” on both sides. Do you know who marches with Nazis chanting “Jews will not replace us” and “Blood and soil?” Nazis. And if you stuck with Donald Trump after Charlottesville, you might be a racist.

Then came the impeachment…excuse me. Then came the FIRST impeachment. Donald Trump attempted to bully a foreign government to help him get reelected. It’s what that Mueller investigation was about from 2016. And here he was in 2019, still asking foreign governments for help. Except this time, he was president (sic) and had the resources to exert pressure. He took military aid that had been authorized by Congress to help Ukraine in the war against…wait for it…Russia, and told them if they didn’t make a public announcement about investigating Joe Biden’s son, then they may not get that aid. The phone call had all the charm of a mob boss…if the mob boss was a fucking moron.

That got Trump impeached but not convicted. Republicans, who had just spent three years talking about how collusion was really bad, decided collusion was not bad if the colluder was an orange Republican.

As soon as we got out of that, we got the pandemic which so far, has killed only about 380,000 Americans. Donald Trump lied repeatedly about the virus, politicized wearing masks and social distancing, told people that maybe injecting bleach would rid it, hawked other quack cures, put his son-in-law, Skinny, in charge of distributing ventilators and PPE stuff (who said it’s “our stuff, not yours.”), and was caught on tape admitting he “downplayed” it and lied to the American public. Then, he caught the virus which totally shocked everyone because he did nothing to protect himself and we all thought karma had taken the last few years off.

Trump even held a political rally that killed his friend, Herman Cain, which was a huge loss for him because he doesn’t have that many black friends to use for political arguments.

Then he told us the upcoming election would be fraudulent. He told the American people that they could not trust voting. A president (sic) told Americans not to trust democracy. He probably told them this because he knew he was going to lose. Then, he lost. After losing, he continued the lie. Today, he still hasn’t conceded he lost or even congratulated the winner, that guy he wanted Ukraine to pretend to investigate.

During the campaign, he held the Republican National Convention, with huge giant Trump signs, on the White House lawn. He pardoned people as entertainment during the convention. He had his name lit up in fireworks above the Washington Monument for which not enough people stopped and said, “Holy fucking shit that’s grotesque.”

Then, not satisfied with losing case after case in court being argued with his farty lawyer, who also caught covid, he tried to get states to overturn the election. The president (sic) of the United States tried to steal an election. The president (sic) of the United States tried to disenfranchise millions of American voters. The president (sic) of the United States tried to remain in office through authoritarian means.

Donald Trump invited state legislators to the White House to convince them to overturn the results in their states. He even called the secretary of state of Georgia and told him to find 11,780 votes because Joe Biden had beaten him by 11,779. Donald Trump asked an elected official to break the law.

And Donald Trump spent over two months telling his base of stupid people the election was rigged, stolen, and a sham. He got them upset. He riled them up. Then he told them to come to Washington, D.C. on January 6 and that it’d be “wild.” On January 6, Congress was to certify the electoral college making Joe Biden president. During the certification, Trump held a rally in Washington and told his base to “march” to the capitol building and stop the victory and certification of an American president. Sure, he said the word “peacefully” somewhere in that speech…a speech where he told his MAGAts to march to the capitol and make him remain president. If you argue that Trump did NOT want violence, then your argument is that he wanted the angry mob to peacefully stage a coup.

Trump’s angry mob stormed the capitol building. They broke windows and doors. They beat cops with flag poles, They waved the Confederate flag in the United States capitol building. They overtook the podium in the Senate chamber. They stole Nancy Pelosi’s podium. They brought zip ties for kidnapping Pelosi. They chanted about hanging Mike Pence. They killed a cop. They shit in the hallways. During this, Donald Trump was calling senators to strategize on the steal and made a video telling the mob they were “special” and he “loved” them. Keep in mind that in the past, he said he “fell in love” with Kim Jong Un. Donald Trump has love for North Korean dictators and terrorists. And he kept telling people the election was a fraud.

And how could Donald Trump lose an election after choosing Russia over the United States, tanking an economy, and watching a virus kill, at that time, over 200,000 people?

Donald Trump was impeached a second time for inciting insurrection. He definitely incited terrorism. There is no out for him on this. He sent a mob to Congress, while Congress was doing a duty mandated by the United States Constitution, so he could remain in official illegally. Yeah, he deserved impeachment.

And this impeachment is the most bipartisan impeachment in American history. Granted, we don’t have that many impeachments but Donald Trump now owns 50% of them.

Andrew Johnson was a bad president but he shouldn’t have been impeached. His crime? He fired members of his cabinet, which every president does. No Democrat voted to impeach. Decades later, the Supreme Court vindicated him. Bill Clinton was impeached for lying about receiving oral sex. Five Democrats voted to impeach him. For Trump’s first impeachment, no Republicans voted for it. For his second impeachment (which sounds ridiculous each time I type it), ten Republicans voted for it, and with today’s Republicans, that’s a lot. There were many more who wanted to vote for impeachment but, being Republicans, they’re cowards.

Republicans are upset Trump was impeached twice and with just a week to go in his term. A term that two weeks ago they all said would turn into his second term. These Republicans helped Trump carry the lie until their house was nearly destroyed. And still, they can’t punish the guy.

Was it ridiculous to impeach Trump a second time? Yes, but only because Donald Trump made it impossible for the House not to impeach him. Donald Trump has to be punished beyond being banned from Twitter. Another argument for worst president (sic) ever. He’s the first president to have his phone taken away from him.

We can’t ignore that he incited a terrorist attack on our government. We can’t ignore that he tried to remain in office illegally. We can’t ignore he engineered a coup attempt. We can’t ignore that he tried to destroy our republic to become a fascist dictator.

Before Trump, there were debates over whether George W. Bush was the worst president ever. Historians weighed his performance with the likes of other bad presidents. As soon as Trump was “elected,” everyone stopped talking about Bush being the worst. Now, that debate is over until another extremely bad president come along. A president who will have to be phenomenally worse than Donald Trump for there to be an argument over who’s worst. And if that guy or woman (Ivanka might run) comes along in my lifetime, I’m moving to France.

The debate is over. Its done. Tell the Jim Jordans, Matt Gaetzs, Sean Hannitys, and Tucker Carlsons to go suck a lemon. It is official. Donald Trump is the worst president (sic) in American history.

 

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