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Hane

"Ride, Sally, Ride" (or Sex Rules): A Masterwork by Doug Wilson

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klein_roeschen

Dear @Hane thank you for recapping this and Serena's Serenity. Please accept this virtual basket filled with your favorite fruit, baked goods and adult beverages. You deserve it

On 11/13/2020 at 2:37 AM, Hane said:

Governor Felix

Governor Emmanuel Felix of California is a Democrat and a naturalized American citizen, having emigrated from Austria. Of course, being a Democrat, he takes good care of his own money but thinks that public funds come from a secret magical source. He’s navigating California’s secession from the Union, in part because he’s ineligible to run for President. He’s out and proud, but conveniently had a college fling with a now Supreme Court justice (named “Smeltworthy”—oh, FFS, Dougie) who is both conservative and in the closet, so he lets the justice know he can blackmail him if the judge doesn’t bend to his wishes. He wants “to govern an entity that can declare war on somebody.” He’s assembled a private army to be of service “when the inevitable food riots came.” Um, OK—I always thought that California has a pretty robust agricultural infrastructure, but WTF do I know. Once again, Dougie mentions that the blue states are plummeting down the $#!+ hole economically and socially, while the red states are prospering.  Wishful thinking, Douchifer.

Felix thinks, “The institution of marriage really had to go, untrammeled access to abortion was a must, free pornography was a basic human right.”  So of course he has a blind hatred for Ace and everything he stands for, and starts working to fix the court so that Ace will be found guilty of murder. Felix enlists the aid of a man named Ryker, his director of security, to put his plan in motion.

Well the guy sounds like Doug read the wikipedia page about Austria's most famous political emmigrant (Hitler) and pouring everything he thinks liberals want over that as topings. And by making him the governor of California maybe getting a dig at the second famous austrian political emmigrant (Schwarzenegger).

On 11/11/2020 at 6:26 AM, Hane said:

Connor The Evil Gay Prosecutor finds himself in need of a receptionist because his receptionist decided to take a vacation. (She gets away with this because of Colorado’s “Byzantine labor laws” and the fact that she’s the mistress of Connor’s boss.)

Besides all the other bad stuff in this book, a dig against labor laws, because heaven forbad that employes take their vacation time, what comes next, paid sick leave? (All normal in my country). Greetings from me, being home this week taking the rest of my vacation time this year.

The sex robot thing in this story reminds me of Qualityland . A minor character in there is a male sex robot with impotence.

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Howl
23 hours ago, klein_roeschen said:

The sex robot thing in this story reminds me of Qualityland . A minor character in there is a male sex robot with impotence

Funniest thing ever.  Also, on the other side, a female sex robot asking, "Is that all you've got?"

 

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Katzchen24
On 11/17/2020 at 11:17 PM, Petronella said:

That link didn't work for me, so here's another:

https://www.amazon.com/Ride-Sally-Sex-Rules/dp/1952410495

Scroll down to "videos for this product."

I hate that I looked at the Amazon reviews. Some tasteless numbnut has compared this bilge with Wodehouse. WODEHOUSE.

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The Mother Dust

Of course he went for the "gay villain" trope.  Of COURSE he did.  ETA @Katzchen24 your post above reminded me that i want to spend my audible credits to see if wodehouse is on audible.  thanks 🙂

Edited by The Mother Dust

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Marmion
13 hours ago, Katzchen24 said:

I hate that I looked at the Amazon reviews. Some tasteless numbnut has compared this bilge with Wodehouse. WODEHOUSE 

Well that might not be all that far off a comparison .  {  https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/wodehouse-secretly-in-pay-of-the-nazis-say-mi5-files-742072.html  ,  https://www.timesofisrael.com/activists-ask-westminster-abbey-not-to-honor-odious-anti-semite-p-g-wodehouse/  }  

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Katzchen24
58 minutes ago, Marmion said:

He was an anti-semite and Nazi? NOooooooo. I had no idea, and now take it all back. Why can't I have nice things?? 

Edited by Katzchen24
I can't type properly before breakfast.
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katilac
On 11/16/2020 at 10:31 AM, THERetroGamerNY said:

I love that this book has one of those live-action “trailers” on Amazon. I just discovered that. lol

That's actually quite a good trailer, in the marketing sense, and much better quality than I would have expected. 

Notice the m is for mama style humblebragging: "I always felt like a spark in a world full of fumes." 

What kind of asshole says that, lol? 

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Hane

Ride, Sally, Ride—Chapter Eight: The Thick Plottens (oooh, so clever!)

Note:  My apologies on being so late with this summary. This book has been driving me into ever more vehement fits of rage, but now I’m calmed down and rested up enough to share with you more of Dougie’s slab of dreck.

Stephanie Makes Two Splashes

A slimeball attorney (that’s exactly what Dougie calls him) named Dwight Glastonbury III pulls his battered Toyota into the ill-maintained parking lot of the courthouse and community center for a very important press conference. He has been hired by Isadora Meadows, one of Ace’s former high school classmates, who found his number on a billboard, to represent her. “Isadora had told Glastonbury a lurid tale of lies, sex, abuse, and terror. Ace was a predator, a dangerous man, one whose toxic masculinity just seeped out of him and puddled on the floor. He had groomed her at first, dazzling her with promises of fame and glory, which she had believed because he was a lofty senior. And then he lured her to a secret lair of his, she couldn’t remember where exactly, and had threatened her, raped her, threatened her family repeatedly, and then had topped it all off by fat-shaming her.” Whew. It is now the law in Colorado that everyone must “believe all women.” Dwight’s legal assistant is described as a “buxom nullity named Soledad,” and he muses that he likes his paralegals “to have a pair of legals, ‘if you know what I mean.’” Gag.

(Dougie constantly tosses in descriptions of the filthy, decaying infrastructure of the roads, public buildings, and parking lots of dystopian Colorado. I guess he is implying that every square inch of the red states is a pristine paradise by comparison. Also, Bad Guys always drive things like Japanese and/or energy-efficient cars.)

Stephanie is a part of the crowd present at the press conference. She notices her former date Lionel there, and decides he’s probably shown up to “show some sort of Christian solidarity with violated women everywhere, feeling, as he did, that Christians needed to be the first to acknowledge their complicity in the oppressions that we see all around us on a daily basis.”

Dwight addresses the audience, and states that “we must *always* believe the woman.” Stephanie stands up and loudly said, “Why did you molest *me*, then, Dwight?” Everyone gasps—every camera turns toward her, and she shouts, “So, why did you molest and rape *me*, then, Mr. Righteous?” When Dwight stammers out his denial, she goes on to say, “What happened to believe all women, Dwight?” I guess that silly little thing about “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor” isn’t awfully important in Dougie-style Presbyterianism. She berates Dwight for daring to refer to her as “she,” and intimates that something went on when she was fifteen, in the bushes of his parents’ home, and that there’s photographic evidence on Dwight’s phone.

Dwight, his assistant, and his client bolt from the room, as there really is perverted stuff on his phone, although none of it involves Stephanie. The hallway is crowded with Ace’s enemies, most of them sex-doll aficionados. In Colorado, it is now legal to use EBT cards (the kinds used for welfare payments) at sex doll brothels and real-person brothels. Being an incel is now a recognized disability in the state, and state-certified sex dolls are now given to them to help them deal with their PTSD.

Stephanie struggles to get through the crowd, and one of Ace’s enemies punches her in the eye. Lionel disappears rather than come to her aid—but suddenly the man who punched her drops to the floor. Our hero Ace, wearing a blond wig and sunglasses as a disguise, has come to her rescue! He spirits her out the door and into the parking lot, then drives her home, telling her he barely knew Isadora at school. He settles Stephanie on the front porch with a bag of frozen peas over her eye, then leaves.

Lionel and three of his buddies show up. Enraged, she tells him to leave: “Lionel, I already *have* a pussy. What made you think I was in need of another one?” One of the buddies films this exchange, and it goes viral.

Right after the Lionel-the-pussy video goes viral, Stephanie is interviewed by “two pudgy lesbians representing the Colorado Human Rights Commission.” They berate her for using a reference to “female genitalia” as an “insignia of abuse.” She counters that by saying that the “Colorado Human Rights Commission is the *sponsor* of the annual Proud Pussy march.” One of the lesbians explains the difference between “slut pride” and using the word “slut” as abuse. The two of them tell her that they have “opened a file” on her, and that she can avoid having “demerits” against her put into it by taking “voluntary mandatory” sensitivity training. They imply that they suspect that Stephanie’s black eye was caused by her father, and she replies that she had been “clocked by one of the sex doll rioters at the press conference.”

After the Two Evil Fat Lesbians leave, they discuss adding fifty demerits to Jon’s file. He has a file because he’s guilty of his wife having left him, with bonus points for the woman “joining the sisterhood.” They agree that Stephanie’s black eye definitely had to be the result of domestic abuse and that she was in denial.  

 

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Xan
1 hour ago, Hane said:

My apologies on being so late with this summary. This book has been driving me into ever more vehement fits of rage, but now I’m calmed down and rested up enough to share with you more of Dougie’s slab of dreck.

Ohmygod.  Any time that you want to stop this, Hane, just feel free.  This is so much worse than I thought it would be.  Dougie has some real issues, doesn't he?  Rarely does one get to see an author parade his insecurities and total lack of rationality for everyone to see.

I don't even know where to begin...  His anger that women can ever be believed?  His hatred of homosexuals?  His erroneous belief that liberals ruin infrastructure?  The entire premise of his book is based on total craziness.  When I think he's just about hit bottom, he finds a shovel.

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Ozlsn
5 hours ago, Hane said:

Ace was a predator, a dangerous man, one whose toxic masculinity just seeped out of him and puddled on the floor. He had groomed her at first, dazzling her with promises of fame and glory, which she had believed because he was a lofty senior

I cannot imagine why anyone would believe that of the man being charged with what would be a violent murder with sexual overtones if the victim were human, and still comes across as pretty disturbing with just the theft and destruction of property angle.

I mean this doesn't just spring fully formed out of nowhere, there are usually warning flags - and this is quite honestly the type of allegation I would expect to have coming out of the woodwork, and likely more than one.

5 hours ago, Hane said:

It is now the law in Colorado that everyone must “believe all women.

It says an awful lot about Doug that he sees believing and listening to allegations being made as a bad thing. 

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Howl
7 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

It says an awful lot about Doug that he sees believing and listening to allegations being made as a bad thing.

Oh, absolutely.  In Doug Wilson world, men are to be protected at the cost of women's emotional lives.

IIRC, the laudatory reviews on Amazon were written by men who are likely CREC congregants Doug leghumpers fan bois.  No sane secular woman could read this crap and not be disgusted. 

Several years ago, the CREC (Doug) started a Christian counseling center.  Of course, the counselors are not trained professionals, of course they aren't.  But one rather chilling aspect of this outfit is they do not promise absolute confidentiality.  By design, I assumed this was to allow Doug Wilson to spy on his congregants' most secret problems. 

  However, a few prominent men have been "disappeared" from the CREC without ado and with no further explanation.  Presumably they crossed some invisible line and that was that. 

 

 

 

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Petronella
15 hours ago, Hane said:

A slimeball attorney (that’s exactly what Dougie calls him) named Dwight Glastonbury III pulls his battered Toyota into the ill-maintained parking lot of the courthouse and community center for a very important press conference.

Even Doug, in his wildest fiction, cannot rival Giuliani's press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping. This "ill-maintained parking lot" hardly reaches such heights.

15 hours ago, Hane said:

He has been hired by Isadora Meadows, one of Ace’s former high school classmates, who found his number on a billboard, to represent her. “Isadora had told Glastonbury a lurid tale of lies, sex, abuse, and terror. Ace was a predator, a dangerous man, one whose toxic masculinity just seeped out of him and puddled on the floor. He had groomed her at first, dazzling her with promises of fame and glory, which she had believed because he was a lofty senior. And then he lured her to a secret lair of his, she couldn’t remember where exactly, and had threatened her, raped her, threatened her family repeatedly, and then had topped it all off by fat-shaming her.”

Okay, a lot here.

I think the implication is that none of this is true, and Isadora is saying all of this as a form of revenge? Ugh I hate this.

Ace's toxic masculinity DOES seep out of him and puddle on the floor, though, so there's that.

I'm confused by Isadora claiming to have been taken in by Ace promising her "fame and glory" because he was a SENIOR? *scratches head* Are high school seniors typically famous and glorious? Is Ace, like, Justin Bieber or something? I know freshman look up to seniors, but fame and glory??

Doug is clearly mocking the idea of "fat shaming," so fuck him.

15 hours ago, Hane said:

She notices her former date Lionel there, and decides he’s probably shown up to “show some sort of Christian solidarity with violated women everywhere, feeling, as he did, that Christians needed to be the first to acknowledge their complicity in the oppressions that we see all around us on a daily basis.”

Lionel seems cool.

15 hours ago, Hane said:

Dwight’s legal assistant is described as a “buxom nullity named Soledad,” and he muses that he likes his paralegals “to have a pair of legals, ‘if you know what I mean.’” Gag.

A buxom NULLITY???? What the FUCK???

Well, Dwight may be an ass, but the joke's on him: if his legal assistant is as brainless as he claims, then he's going to need all the help he can get.

15 hours ago, Hane said:

Dwight addresses the audience, and states that “we must *always* believe the woman.” Stephanie stands up and loudly said, “Why did you molest *me*, then, Dwight?” Everyone gasps

Oh, crap. My assumption here--maybe I'm wrong--is that Stephanie is lying also, to teach Dwight a lesson about how bad it is to believe women. Am I wrong, Hane?

15 hours ago, Hane said:

The hallway is crowded with Ace’s enemies, most of them sex-doll aficionados.

This sentence just delights me.

15 hours ago, Hane said:

Ace, wearing a blond wig and sunglasses as a disguise

Also this!

15 hours ago, Hane said:

In Colorado, it is now legal to use EBT cards (the kinds used for welfare payments) at sex doll brothels and real-person brothels. Being an incel is now a recognized disability in the state, and state-certified sex dolls are now given to them to help them deal with their PTSD.

*sigh* Okay, I grant that it's on the liberal side to consider prostitution and sex tools/dolls as a kind of treatment (I saw a documentary once about a severely disabled man in maybe Amsterdam(??) who had visits from a prostitute as part of his care). But "incels" in my observation tend to be crazy right-wing more often than liberal. What's a right-wing incel in Doug's world to do?? Accept the brothel welfare and free dolls, against their oh-so-pure morals? According to Doug, of course not! They'd be too busy keeping the roads and parking lots up to standard, and working hard for the red states' flourishing economy!

There's SO MUCH wrong with this book, but Doug's inability to see the, uh, MIX of red state personalities that is already quite apparent in the real world is a big one. Not every right-winger is a pious, virginal-or-lifetime-married churchgoer. What would he do with all the libertarians, for one??

And if blue staters have the freedom to be as promiscuous as they like, why would there be an epidemic of doll sex? Wouldn't most people who want to just...have sex with each other? (I know not everyone can easily find a partner, but I just find it strange that doll sex would, like, TAKE OVER and almost replace human sex, and Doug seems to be saying.)

15 hours ago, Hane said:

Stephanie is interviewed by “two pudgy lesbians representing the Colorado Human Rights Commission.”

Oh my word.

15 hours ago, Hane said:

The two of them tell her that they have “opened a file” on her, and that she can avoid having “demerits” against her put into it by taking “voluntary mandatory” sensitivity training.

NOBODY has suggested this level of government micromanagement as an ideal of liberalism. NO ONE.

15 hours ago, Hane said:

They agree that Stephanie’s black eye definitely had to be the result of domestic abuse and that she was in denial.

As with the rape lies Doug is mocking, we now have him mocking abuse claims. Of course most of them are made up by overzealous lesbian social justice warriors!

HJKHJKKJHKJHFTDIU:FJKHGK

I am overwhelmed.

Hane, you're a saint!

2 hours ago, Howl said:

Several years ago, the CREC (Doug) started a Christian counseling center.

I am aghast! Pity for anyone who ever sought his care!

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Petronella
46 minutes ago, Petronella said:

But "incels" in my observation tend to be crazy right-wing more often than liberal. What's a right-wing incel in Doug's world to do??

I just want to clarify something from my previous post, so quoting myself.

I don't mean that only right-wing people find themselves in the position of not having a partner. Just that "incel" though it is an abbreviation for "involuntarily celibate" has a lot of connotation as well. It refers to men who are involuntarily celibate and ANGRY about it, who feel they're being deprived on something that is their RIGHT. That's what I mean about them tending to be right wingers, red pillers, strict gender role obsessors. Obviously people of all political/moral persuasions experience not having what they want.

If Doug means "incels" here in the strictly "not having a sexual partner" sense, then that's a terrible choice, because in our real world "incel" already has a meaning, and it is a nasty, angry, controlling one not associated with liberal politics.

Really, he just hasn't thought this through.

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Hane

@Petronella, Stephanie is definitely lying to teach Dwight a lesson (you know—the way Jesus and the Bible told us to) to counter Dwight’s own lies about Ace.

Dougie is aspiring to the kind of tongue-in-cheek social satire style that’s done much better by writers like Carl Hiassen, but is falling flat because he 1) insists on a glaring black-vs.-white, us-vs.-them dichotomy and 2) setting up a society that can only exist in his mind and the minds of his fanbois: pure, moral, religious, prosperous red states vs. corrupt, amoral, crumbling blue states. If he had any perspective at all, he’d realize that the main danger to blue states (like Connecticut, where I’ve lived almost all my life) is income inequality.

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Howl
55 minutes ago, Hane said:

tongue-in-cheek social satire style that’s done much better by writers like Carl Hiassen

Carl Hiassen has accompanied us via books on tape on three long car trips. He is never not brilliant as a writer, a creator of truly crazy cast of characters in each book and a hilarious story teller. 

He'd have a withering take on Doug Wilson, if Wilson was a character in one of his books. 

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Katzchen24
4 hours ago, Hane said:

Dougie is aspiring to the kind of tongue-in-cheek social satire style that’s done much better by writers like Carl Hiassen, but is falling flat because he 1) insists on a glaring black-vs.-white, us-vs.-them dichotomy and 2) setting up a society that can only exist in his mind and the minds of his fanbois: pure, moral, religious, prosperous red states vs. corrupt, amoral, crumbling blue states. If he had any perspective at all, he’d realize that the main danger to blue states (like Connecticut, where I’ve lived almost all my life) is income inequality.

He really does think in stereotypes. I'm guessing he considers nuance to be some kind of cupcake sprinkle.

On 11/22/2020 at 10:08 AM, Hane said:

 In Colorado, it is now legal to use EBT cards (the kinds used for welfare payments) at sex doll brothels and real-person brothels. Being an incel is now a recognized disability in the state, and state-certified sex dolls are now given to them to help them deal with their PTSD.

PTSD? My understanding of this is poor, but I don't get what being involuntarily celibate has to do with post-traumatic stress. Anyone who has PTSD should definitely seek treatment for it, but if being knocked back by a girl is enough to have caused the condition then I think there are other, deeper, issues to deal with.

This is really horrible stuff. Does he actually believe this shit, or is he pandering to his audience. What am I saying? Of course he believes this stuff. 

@Petronella I vaguely remember seeing a documentary about something similar. There was an interview with a sex worker who specialised in visiting people with disabilities. The emphasis was more on their very human need to have a loving touch, and was not necessarily only sexual. She spoke about people whose conditions required them to have constant care, but the only touch they ever received was either for medical or maintenance (poor word choice I know, but I didn't know how to put it) purposes. I think there's a question of agency here. She's a sex worker choosing how she exercises her profession, and probably doing a lot of good along the way.

In Dougie's world, such a thing wouldn't exist because no woman has any real agency or existence outside the confines of a few narrow roles.

 

Edited by Katzchen24

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Hane

@Katzchen24, but, see, if everybody became a Dougie Wilson Certified Presbyterian Evangelical Christian (TM), alllllll their problems would go away and they’d find true love and perfect marriages that would last forever and alllll the babies they wanted and life would be sheer bliss, even for people with severe physical disabilities! And mental illnesses wouldn’t be anything to worry about, because they’re not real anyway, just proof of moral and spiritual weakness.

/SARCASM 

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Hane

Ride, Sally, Ride—Chapter Nine: Isadora Requests a Do-Over

Isadora, the Lying Liar Who Lies, has just fired her sleazebag lawyer, Dwight Glastonbury III. She is miffed that fame keeps eluding her.  She had hoped to achieve fame through performances at poetry slams, but that hadn’t worked out because the other poets wanted to read their own stuff instead of listening to hers.

In Kansas, she had tried accusing her PE teacher of molestation, but he had an airtight alibi, having been on stage performing in “The Music Man” at the time in question. In Utah, she tried the same tack with her math teacher, who had been flunking her for bad quiz grades, and failed again because the police saw right through her. “She did not know how to blow sunshine at …Utah cops. She might have done quite well in Illinois or Connecticut.” *Hane’s head explodes* Dougie, I triple-dog-dare you to visit the Nutmeg State. I bet you can barely find it on a map. So Isadora turned her sights on Ace after learning about the sex-doll-“murder” thing. When that seemed to wash out, she goes to the Survivors’ Resource Center to see Thelma, the counselor she had seen there, and apologizes for having gone to Dwight the Sleazebag for help instead of Thelma’s agency. Thelma warns Isadora that Stephanie, despite being a reactionary, is not stupid. She advises Isadora not to proceed with a civil suit against Ace (Isadora is mainly motivated by money) but to participate in the criminal case instead, in hopes of getting a book deal out of it. “Thelma…hadn’t told Isadora (yet) that her husband, Mia, was the acquisitions editor for the biggest publisher in Colorado.” Notice the “her husband, Mia.” Dougie wants you to be HORRIFIED by this little tidbit.

Lionel Joins the Wrong Team

Lionel goes to the prosecutor’s office to see Connor the Evil Gay Prosecutor and sees Sara the receptionist, instantly thinking, “What is a girl like that doing working in a place like this?” (Dougie gives no reason for Lionel’s reaction to Sara.) Connor is happy to see “Pussy Man.”

“Lionel, whatever else he appeared to be—vain and conceited and effeminate would about cover it—was not stupid. He was there for purposes of his own, and revenge would have been a reasonable guess, and he had done enough research on Connorson to bait the hook well.” He tells Connor that he wants to take Stephanie down a few notches. He mentions that he’s a cybertechnician, and that during one of his dates with her, he “fixed” her phone, getting her pass code. He says that, for the right price ($200,000), he can get into her computer and into her father’s. He gives Connor his qualifications; Connor agrees to the deal. Then Lionel pretends to get into Stephanie’s computer files, which are fakes he had made in advance of the meeting.

A Deeper Way

Thelma, the Survivor’s Resource Center Counselor, during an appointment with Isadora, goes into a long screed about “Epistemological Identity,” or the idea of truth being “relative.” “Lies…propagated by the patriarchy…always seem plausible, even to us. The only way to fight their narrative is to invent a contrary story. And even if it is not what people used to call the truth, it is always a lot closer to is than what *they* are spinning.” Because Isadora is a member of an oppressed class, “a woman, a survivor, and someone who has been fat-shamed, not to mention…how your poetry was mocked by various haters…This intersectional reality means that whatever you say is the truth, *by definition*.” Thelma calls this “the full meeting of liberation.”  (Dougie knows just enough about intersectionalism to be dangerous.)

Sara Makes Herself Useful, and Lionel Surprises

Connor gives Sarah a file to give to Detective Morrison, who would be showing up in half an hour or so, then leaves. Sara reads it and is appalled that the prosecutor is asking the cops to tail Stephanie, her nice new friend. Sara has found everyone in the prosecutor’s office to be so foul and profane that she types up a near-copy of the memo, puts a fake address on it, forges Connor’s signature, and shreds the original—so that Morrison would wind up sitting at a different house from Stephanie’s. It turns out that the resident of the fake address looks a lot like Stephanie, so the detective is sent on a wild goose chase.

Sara leaves work at five, and decides to cut through the parking garage to get to her bus stop. At the stairwell, she is accosted by three switchblade-brandishing thugs. As she struggles to uncap her pepper spray, who should show up but Lionel, who now is acting all butch and manly. Lionel does some fancy defense moves, decking his opponents, breaking the arms of two of them, and pulling a gun on them. He gives them five minutes to get away; the hospital ER is nearby.

Sara thanks Lionel for his gallantry, but he says he had followed her. He asks her out to coffee, wanting to ask her a few questions, and answer any questions she may have. So now we know that Lionel isn’t an effeminate lying pussy, but one of the Good Guys.   

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Columbia

I’ve never read any of DW’s other books, but I’ve been told they’re rife with fake rape accusations and poor men being ruined by them. None of this is surprising, given his history of mishandling abuse. 

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Hane

Ride, Sally, Ride:  Chapter Ten—Mothers

Camila

Stephanie has been working parttime for her father on sensitive cases. He’s hired her because he’s working with the disreputable out-of-state, and now illegal in Colorado, Christian Legal Defense, and he wants to shield his usual paralegal from risk. So now she’s in meetings with Jon and Ace.

“Ace, for his part, was more than happy to have her present in the room, in that she was anything but an eyesore, but Jon was on to him, and so remained suspicious about Ace’s motives for wanting her in the room.” Yup—Ace has the hots for Stephanie, but her dad has to protect his daughter from illicit lust.

Ace confesses the saga of his one-shot sexual encounter with Camila. It had happened at a time when he was ticked off with his father; he didn’t want to be like him even if that meant not believing in God. (Dougie does not expound on what made Ace’s father so horrendous at the time.) Ace, age 15, and Camila, age 18, bang once in the bushes during a neighbor’s party, and that was it. Poor Ace was plunged into so much guilt that he was in an emotional hell for two weeks and then repented of his immorality and became a Christian. (The fact that Camila was an adult and Ace was a minor is waved away as irrelevant. OK.)

They look Camila up, and discover that she still lives in the area, is married to an Assemblies of God pastor, and has a couple of kids. So that Jon will not be surprised by anything in the courtroom, Stephanie agrees to go on a recon mission to Camila’s church to check her out.

On Sunday, Camila greets Stephanie warmly before the service, and recognizes her from the Man Pussy video. She invites Stephanie to stay for the fellowship dinner. As the two of them sit alone together, Camila shares the tale of her encounter with “that fine young man.” It happened a year before she was Saved (TM), and she later confessed it to her husband when he proposed to her. She goes on and on about how Ace’s controversy is “all about Jesus” and that Stephanie should be proud to have a boyfriend like him. The Pentecostals of Camila’s congregation are praying for Jon but simultaneously not saying a word about him to anybody. Sure—fine.

Lest you think that Camila’s come-on to virginal young Ace was just a quick case of the hots, we learn that during that time frame she was heavily into drugs and about to commit suicide, until she found the phone number to a drug rehab program at the church she now attends. She was “saved” by her second meeting and totally drug-free, because that’s how it works in real life.

A woman approaches them as they get ready to leave the church. “Hello, Victoria,” says Camila—and Stephanie exclaims, “Mother!”

Victoria

Wow! Stephanie’s long-lost mother has been in the church’s rehab program for eight months. She recounts the sad tale of how and why she left Stephanie’s father: “I was simply angry, bitter, frustrated, resentful, and more angry. I was simply doing *anything* I could think of that would hurt him….That is why I chose to run off with that…that woman." (Because becoming a lesbian simply out of spite is totally a thing.) "But after about three months I came to the conclusion that overweight butch lesbians are overrated.” Evil Overweight Butch Lesbian had been Victoria’s therapist (of course) and Victoria had turned to drugs. Working as a realtor, she met Camila, who could tell right off the bat that she was strung out on drugs. So they said a magic prayer together, and voila.

Stephanie muses that “this Jesus thing was everywhere,” so there must be something to it.

Patricia

Stephanie is struck by a line in a column Ace had written for the Boise Statesman. “It made her think that he must have been reading Chesterton right before he wrote it…’There is no way to treat things (like sex androids) as though they are bio-women without this resulting in the treatment of bio-women as though they are things.’” Whoa, Dougie—you and your fanbois are perfectly capable of treating women like things in the complete absence of sex androids.

Stephanie and her father had learned that Steven Sasani had been married before, in Arkansas, and was still legally married to one Patricia Sasani, age 48. Stephanie can find no trace of Patricia on line, but decides that Patricia may not still be in Arkansas. So she waits for Steven to leave his house and goes over to take a look around.

Peering into a basement window, she sees a woman who signals her for help. Could it be the very same Patricia?  Of course it is! Stephanie unscrews the basement window to extricate Patricia.

Back at Stephanie and Jon’s house, the four of them (including Trish and Ace) decide how to proceed. Trish wants to go directly to the cops, but Jon wants to spring her on the prosecution as a surprise witness, and Ace and Stephanie explain “the hassle they had to go through when they reported the attempted assassination to Colorado’s finest, and how she would swiftly be made aware of the legal differences between Colorado and her native Arkansas (this awareness bringing much sorrow with it).” (Dougie did not regale us with a single word of Ace and Stephanie’s going to the police after the shooting—this is the first time it comes up.) Trish acquiesces, just happy to be out of her basement prison.

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Katzchen24
1 hour ago, Hane said:

Ace confesses the saga of his one-shot sexual encounter with Camila. It had happened at a time when he was ticked off with his father; he didn’t want to be like him even if that meant not believing in God. (Dougie does not expound on what made Ace’s father so horrendous at the time.) Ace, age 15, and Camila, age 18, bang once in the bushes during a neighbor’s party, and that was it. Poor Ace was plunged into so much guilt that he was in an emotional hell for two weeks and then repented of his immorality and became a Christian. (The fact that Camila was an adult and Ace was a minor is waved away as irrelevant. OK.)

......

As the two of them sit alone together, Camila shares the tale of her encounter with “that fine young man.” It happened a year before she was Saved (TM), and she later confessed it to her husband when he proposed to her. 

This may be some more terrible stereotyping by Dougie in the Ace/Camila drama. Camila is fulfilling the evil fallen Eve stereotype by leading the (very much a minor) Ace up the garden path and, as it turns out, into the bushes. The fact that she's now saved doesn't change the fact that she's still an ebil woman under it all.

This next bit is my opinion only, and others may not agree with me. FFS, Camila can bang who she wants (providing they're not minors) where she wants and when she wants. And in my opinion, is under no obligation to share the details with her future husband. IT'S NONE OF HIS BUSINESS. She is not chewed gum. She could have banged a different person every night for five years and it's still NONE OF HIS BUSINESS. Is there some kind of engagement checklist and confessional? Should she be grateful that her fiancé didn't ditch her despite her evil fucking-in-the-bushesness?

The purity culture of Christians is so so damaging. I'm thinking of Paul and Morgan (terrible young Christian YouTubers) where so much guilt is laid on Morgan because she had sex before marriage. I would be willing to bet that her lack of virginity is held against her and used to control her. The very fact that Dougie is making this  part of the dialogue when it's totally irrelevant to Camila's story shows how he regards it. 

Finally, spite lesbians? Really?

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Hane

@Katzchen24, every “good” character in this book who has the “wrong” kind of sex (anything other than heterosexual married sex) is obligated to wallow in guilt and agony over it, and then to “get saved.”  There is talk about sin, but the only things that qualify as sin in Dougie’s worldview are sexual. The “good” characters in this story lie and connive non-stop, but it’s OK because it’s for The Greater Good. It’s funny: Dougie ridicules the Evil Feminists for fighting the patriarchy’s lies with lies of their own, but nary a word is said against the Good Guys for doing the same exact thing.

And *YES* in flashing neon lights to what you said about Paul and Morgan. I honestly don’t know what happened to that poor girl. I saw one of her music videos from before she was “saved,” and have a hard time figuring out why she abandoned innocuous secular activities for that arrogant douchenozzle she married. Weren’t there better guys around?

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Marmion
18 hours ago, Hane said:

Ace, age 15, and Camila, age 18, bang once in the bushes during a neighbor’s party, and that was it. Poor Ace was plunged into so much guilt that he was in an emotional hell for two weeks and then repented of his immorality and became a Christian. (The fact that Camila was an adult and Ace was a minor is waved away as irrelevant. OK.)

There might be a " Romeo and Juliet " law in their state . {   https://legaldictionary.net/romeo-and-juliet-laws/  , https://www.thoughtco.com/romeo-and-juliet-laws-what-they-mean-3533768 } 

Edited by Marmion

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Hane

@Marmion, even if there is, this is Pretend Fake Dystopian Colorado, for which Dougie has made up his own laws, and worrying about the ages of the now-born-again fornicators doesn’t fit into his narrative, so he tosses it aside.

I am endlessly amused that he thinks Connecticut cops are a bunch of “politically correct” (God, how much hate that term!) pushovers. The story of Malik Jones, the son of a professor at my daughter’s college, indicates otherwise.

Another thing: Dougie manages to give a condescending nod of approval to all practicing Christians in this book, but it’s clear that only the Right Kinds of Presbyterians will cut the mustard, and that Catholics, Pentecostals, and Mennonites are déclassé.

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Marmion
20 hours ago, Hane said:

I am endlessly amused that he thinks Connecticut cops are a bunch of “politically correct” (God, how much hate that term!) pushovers. The story of Malik Jones, the son of a professor at my daughter’s college, indicates otherwise

 Ah yes , New England , a white nationalist dream .   

 

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