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  1. Hi, friends! I'm summarizing Doug Wilson's latest pile of dreck so you don't have to. This precis is long, because the freaking book is. It took considerable labor to chip through the author's overblown verbosity to winnow out the point. Ride, Sally, Ride (Or Sex Rules): Prefatory Matters I used the stuffy term “prefatory matters” here to set the stage for Doug the Pedo-Enabler’s grandiose style. He’s one of those guys who’s oh, so proud of his wit and of his assumption that he’s oh, so much smarter than anyone who opposes him philosophically, politically, or theologically: guys like Dennis Miller or Bill Maher—cut from the same cloth despite their differences in worldview. Epigraph (his term): “A comedy of manners in a world without any manners, that world being a sexual dystopia in the very near future.” Doug also press-gangs the lyrics of “Mustang Sally” (“Ride, Sally, Ride”) into the story, as a fun little bit of slut-shaming. Note: “All of the characters are fictional….Any resemblance to any real people, living or dead, is their own darn fault.” OK, then. Explanation, As One Is Clearly Needed (because we’re all WAY less brilliant than you, Dougie): According to Dougie, “sex rules” (including customs and etiquette) exist as a necessary outgrowth of sexual binary “realities,” which were established by God. He quotes Horace in the original Latin, in order to impress us, and thoughtfully includes the translation “You can drive nature out with a pitchfork, but she will keep coming back in.” An Overture to the Whole Affair: Dougie introduces Our Hero, Asahel “Ace” Hardwick, who will serve as the catalyst that sparked “the crack-up of the United States.” (Asahel means “made by God,” and was one of David’s generals in the Old Testament. Dougie doesn’t tell us this, because he luh-HOVES to show off his Biblical knowledge and make people feel ignorant for not having his level of scholarship. Also, he desperately needed a male name that could be shortened to “Ace.”) He throws in a chunk of irrelevant theological history here. Chapter One: A Phinehas Moment (Phinehas--as Doug doesn't bother to tell us, either because he assumes we know or because he wants to show off his knowledge of Biblical minutiae--is an Israelite who executed an Israelite man and a Midianite woman for committing the sin of intermarrying. Setting the Stage It’s 2024. The swanky Cherry Creek neighborhood of Denver is compared with the downtown area, which has rapidly gone to hell since the legalization of marijuana. (Note: I have never been in Colorado. I have no idea what it’s like living there, or what negative changes may have transpired as a result of legalizing weed. If any of you can clue me in, thanks in advance. I am not taking Dougie’s word for ANYTHING.) Half the “ministries,” as the result of the “Troubles of ’24,” have fled the state to places where they would “be able to remain legal, and where their newsletters would not be immediately prosecuted for hate speech.” The remaining ministries kowtow to the “never-ending directives from the Colorado Human Rights Commission,” tripling their legal budgets to cover themselves. Benson Hardwick is an elder in a remaining Presbyterian church that still had the remains of evangelicalism and orthodoxy about it. He is stereotypically masculine, and is being presented as something of a non-confrontational, middle-of-the-road stuffed shirt, with a long-suffering wife and a twenty-year son named Ace, who is a college student. Ace is a cheerful sort with a “quick mind,” blond, muscular, and athletic, with an “industrious, diligent” look. (No subtlety there!) He works on getting information from “a dark website that specialized in getting nineteenth theology into the heavily censored blue states.” Here it begins: Yes, FJers—we of the Blue States are hard at work censoring everything that isn’t distinctly left of center. The funny thing about this book is that Dougie et al are bound and determined to smack down anything they don’t agree with by means of their “logic” and “Biblical reasoning.” They presuppose they’re always right, so there’s the fault that lies in this entire novel. In another gated community, not as posh as Cherry Creek, lives Jon Hunt, a semi-retired lawyer who reads theology and does pro bono work for the “now exiled Christian Legal Defense.” He converted to Presbyterian Christianity because his wife left him for another woman. He lives with his daughter Stephanie, a Libertarian college student who isn’t a Christian but who is thinking about it. She is on her way home from a coffee date with a guy named Lionel, who attends Benson Hardwick’s church. Lionel will drop out of the story and return later. Everyone stop and take a hit of your favorite anti-nausea remedy, because here comes that Male Gaze description we all love seeing so much: “Stephanie had jet black hair, cut in a page boy style, and a spray of freckles across her nose. She was willowy without being skinny, and she managed to be well-proportioned without being in any way a hazard or public nuisance. She was a pretty girl, but there are different kinds of pretty girls in this world of ours. Some women are just plain gorgeous, and they don’t really know how to tur it off, but Stephanie was not like that. She was entirely secure without any make-up, as was routinely described as ‘that pretty girl.’ But whenever she decided to put on the Ritz, the effect was to summon up an oceanic goddess of beauty de profundis. And if she smiled at anything male while done up like that, he would probably be in the ICU for at least a couple of days.” She enters the house and kisses her father, who addresses her as “crazy legs.” (Ick.) She ridicules Lionel for having mispronounced “Pentateuch.” Some historical background for this story: There are 51 states, Puerto Rico having been admitted in 2022. The “infamous” Roe v. Wade decision was overturned in 2023 (with Handmaid Coney Barrett just sworn in, I’m terrified this may happen.) As a result, states started aligning themselves according to those sympathizing with reproductive freedom and marriage equality, “with blue states opening themselves to more and more novel configurations of marriage.” Amusingly, Dougie refers to the conservative red states as “the free states,” which I found confusing as I read the book. People are moving in droves to states that better reflect their values. California is working toward seceding. “The red states got a lot redder, and the blue states got a lot poorer.” (Dougie is underestimating the amount of revenue generated by places like California and New York.) The heartland states are held together by three groups: free-market guys wanting to sell oil and other commodities to the world, social conservatives (hostile to “abortion, pot, and porn”), and a third group encompassing both. The Meeting A new neighbor moves in across the street from the Hardwicks. Benson asks his wife to make a platter of cookies to take over. (Insert stabbing sounds here.) Ace and Benson go over to help Steve Sasani, the new neighbor, move his packing crates into his house. (In my experience, the moving guys do this, but who am I.) In the house, Steve introduces his wife, Sally—a life-sized late-model sex android. “She was decked out like a suburban housewife, and…staring vacantly, straight ahead. Her lips had that come-hither pout, that sexy look, like she had just been hit in the mouth with a brick.” Steve talks to Sally as if she’s human. There’s a lot of commentary about how creepy she is, but looks like the kind of woman who would be considered too attractive for Steve if she were real. They or He? Benson decides to invite Steve and Sally over to dinner. Ace is appalled. Benson talks about being tolerant to the choices they are making; Ace objects to the pronoun “they,” as Steve is a human being and Sally isn’t. Benson says “they need Jesus.” Ace says Steve does. Roberta, his mother, says nothing but it’s insinuated that she agrees with Ace but thinks Benson is nuts. Ace says this isn’t a theological issue but a sanity one. Really Listening The dinner occurs, with Steve continuing to play-act with Sally. Ace gets fed up and leaves the table to do homework. After Steve and Sally leave, Benson goes to Ace’s room to speak with him. He’s worried that Ace’s interests in theology are getting the way of a practical love and concern. Ace is worried that, if Steve becomes a Christian, he might want Pastor Rodriguez (see? A Spanish name, to prove that Dougie isn’t a racist!) to baptize Sally—and that the pastor might do it. The Crossroads Two days later, when Benson and Roberta are out at Bible study, Steve comes over and asks Ace to come over and look in on Sally while he goes on an errand, because she feels lonely and frightened in the new city. “Asahel, I know I can depend on you. What would be the right thing to do?” Ace responds, “You sure you want me to do the right thing?” and Steve says yes. This ridiculous request sets up the ridiculous plot line of the story. Ace finds Sally, blindfolded and topless, propped up on the bed in the master bedroom. He goes home, gets an old “Christian Youth Jubilee” tee shirt, puts it on Sally, and loads it into his car. He drives her to the recycling center where he works and dumps her into a compactor, where she says, “Uhhh. Do it again. Uhhh. Harder, harder” and “Ride me, ride me.” He says, Okay—ride, Sally, ride” and flips the switch. Because someone born in 2004 would know the lyrics of “Mustang Sally.” The Right Thing Ace goes home. A few minutes after his parents return, Steve shows up and accuses Ace of kidnapping Sally. Ace says “You asked me to look in on Sally and do the right thing. So I did. I think that’s all I need to say.” The cops arrive. Ace welcomes them to search the house, but makes sure the cops know that Sally isn’t Steve’s wife, but a sex doll. Roberta says, “You gentlemen need to ask Mr. Sasani why Sally couldn’t call herself, if she were in some kind of trouble.” Because real live people who have been kidnapped are always free to call for help. Benson takes Ace aside and asks him if would have been the kind of brother who would have destroyed a sister’s dolls. Ace replies, “It would have to be a brother, not a sister. And if he had been having sex with his doll, I would not have needed to smash it. YOU would have.” When Ace rejoins the cops, he sees Steve sitting on the large box he had picked up during his errand, weeping inconsolably. The box is labeled “Veronica the Nurse.”
  2. I think most FJ people are aware of Doug Wilson's (Moscow, ID fundie Reformed Godfather of Christ Church) vigorous defense of two convicted and unrepentant pedophile, and his continued online attacks against the victim of one of the pedophiles. Wilson, who has also been caught out in multiple cases of plagiarism, is the all-powerful founder and head of the Christ Church and the utterly unaccredited New St Andrew's Seminary in Moscow, ID and seems to control about half the town's population. Natalie Greenfield, now grown and married and a mother of three, has spoken openly and candidly of Wilson's manipulations of her parents and herself as a young teen, when it was discovered that seminarian Jamin Wright, in his 20s and boarding with the Greenfields, had groomed and abused Natalie as a young teen. Wright has since reoffended. Wilson was also the officiant at the wedding of Steven Sitler, a convicted pedophile in Wilson's congregation, to a young woman also in the church. Sitler was considered at very high risk for reoffending and his probation officer filed a warning with the court that the couple intended to have children and this was a bad, bad idea. Since then, Sitler has reoffended with his own infant son. Wison not only refuses to take any responsibility for creating a church environment where victims were villified and abusers forgive immediately, he's also been on a bizarre crusade to "prove" that there was no abuse of Natalie Greenfield. Due to arrest records and court records, he cannot argue that 20-something Wright had not had a sexual relationship with Greenfield, who had barely reached her teens. Wilson's position is that the relationship was approved by Natalie's parents (they have denied this), that Natalie could not have been abused because she was quite tall for her age, and also that Natalie could not possibly have been abused because her husband - who she met years after the abuse - made a performance art video as part of his MFA thesis in which he appeared nude. That last one requires some dazzling leaps of logic. Anyway, someone keeps very good track of the developments in the various cases and the histories of the crimes (and Doug Wilson's involvement) on a website, moscowid.net. They've posted a link today to a 400 page meticulously researched and documented report on the two cases and Wilson's unwavering support of both pedophiles. The document contains email exchanges with Wilson, as well as interviews with law enforcement and the local prosecutor. I've kept up with the Wilson mess because it's mind-boggling that this man claims to be the victim of evil feminists and God-haters and at the same time proudly defends his documented record of enabling the sexual assault of minors. So, if anyone is trapped inside on a rainy Saturday, the report is available on the moscowid.net website in PDF format, titled "Analyzing Douglas Wilson’s Handling of the Steven Sitler and Jamin Wight Cases." Just don't eat first, because what this man has done will make you nauseous.
  3. Doug Wilson fires a shot across the bow: https://www.facebook.com/dougwils/posts/10215377083353059?__xts__[0]=68.ARC4yaE1T9uar1k6BQI6kUMnEsNW8MVjA6a_EbDrMNB58B8jMeVPkK36NHQ9QI-c04lC58lv22WjSZpxNaE_5edWsjgtQG3KMOVynzkFwswNYFmtoTDjccO2ZUvM8LXzqoz8YGg&__tn__=-R James McDonald waits a whole week to subpost his displeasure, leading me to believe there was sustained prodding from his “bride”: https://www.facebook.com/james.mcdonald1/posts/10216595142929522?__xts__[0]=68.ARAm7kMsy_Zaj1G2N0AjxuvWQpjrVTV7hw1kDBZ2ALrmqdQKROC73Djh0ImpjayP_nTQc3MOdtHHXZFob2ITY2DXcgnZY0PRygCJBWBOkUnLAAHDhR7h3lZ9iyKXhCOSyEjFsMQ&__tn__=-R
  4. I tried to search for the last thread about him, but couldn't find it. Anyway, he says he'll probably be okay. https://dougwils.com/resources/personal/the-obedience-of-cancer.html?platform=hootsuite
  5. http://www.tobyjsumpter.com/pink-hair-boys-wearing-girls-underwear/ I love my natural brown and have little desire to change it, but after reading this gem of an exhortation I'm tempted for the first time towards hot pink and neon orange. About halfway through this I had to start repeating "What an asshole" to myself over and over in order to make it through. HIs attitude towards and assumptions and judgements about trans people are sickening.
  6. Are y'all Americans excited about the three-day-weekend this week? I just love Martin Luther King Jr. Day, or as we true patriots down in Dixie prefer, Lee-Jackson Day! Michael Hill, President of the League of the South, writes: He writes more about the jolly holiday here. The above quote is from the organization's Facebook page. Sorry MLK, you're not Christian enough or manly enough to deserve your own holiday. Heck, you're not even Martin Luther enough, MICHAEL. The League is giving this three day weekend to someone who always went by his true, Christian name, like Thomas Jonathan "Stonewall" Jackson! (And Robert E. Lee!) I was checking up on the LotS today after remembering Doug Wilson's collaborations with Steve Wilkins, the co-founder of the group. You'll remember that they worked together to plagiarize the pamphlet Southern Slavery As It Is, and they're also both involved in Federal Vision and speak at a lot of conference-cum-Civil War Balls. He produced a lecture series for homeschool history curricula, America, The First 350 Years, which I had to listen to when some family friend gave it to my sister on cassette, so now I know how America was godly and great before the North ruined everything, Reconstruction was like living in The Road Warrior, and enslavement and bondage were nbd, obviously! Anyway, as evidenced above, Wilkins and the League are still doing their thing with their poorly designed website and their new and improved poorly designed website. Take note of the ad for a book that "challenges the Uncle Tom's Cabin view of the Old South"... surejan.gif. Apparently Wilkins has been on the outs with the PCA lately because he's too weird, which I coulda told you ages ago.
  7. GenerationCedarchip

    The Bayly Brothers Strike Again!

    That's right - no sooner does news of Sitler hit the internet than the Bayly brothers spring into action. While they don't mention Sitler specifically, apparently they are all kinds of worked up over the fact that WOMEN are daring to criticize Doug Wilson. It seems that in their view of things, "If Pastors John Piper and Doug Wilson have betrayed the Word of God in their teaching on sexuality, they both are surrounded by pastors and elders whose duty it is to watch over their teaching and correct them when they are in error. This is not women's work." The unwritten assumption seems to be that since "pastors and elders" haven't taken down Piper and Wilson, they must therefore not be in error. I recognize that I probably come from a more conservative religious tradition than many folks on here, but when I tell people I am a Christian, this is not who I want them to think that I am. Edited - here is what I was talking about: baylyblog.com/blog/2015/09/rachel-miller-and-valerie-hobbs-where-apostle-paul-when-we-need-him
  8. Doug Wilson announced on his blog that the young star was a member of his Christ Church in Moscow, ID: dougwils.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=8711:super-8&catid=72:shameless-appeals I just posted a breaking exclusive about it over on Datalounge that has more links: http://www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ ... 10551404,1
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