Quiverfull Mom Expresses "Disgust" For 12-Year-Old Daughter

[Koala]

Mar. 30, 2007

A Message from My Oldest Son

Posted in Training Children

Hi. It's Gabe. I'm the oldest child of Camilla Anderson. I asked my mom to put me on the computer screen where I could put a message because I wanted to say something about the article my mom wrote about the day we all helped her get ready for a funeral at church, because I know my mom got a lot of bad comments. ("Reaping the Fruit of Good Child Training")

Even though my mom didn't mention a lot about herself, she worked really hard that day, too. Harder than us. For all those people who say she's a candy-eating couch-potato, I want to say that my mom is the best.She is a hard worker. My sister is a great cook, and she is so happy to work in the kitchen. It is one of her favorite jobs. She thinks she is so lucky compared to all the girls she knows who aren't even allowed to cook real food in the kitchen, and they are older than her. She likes baking and cooking so much that she started her own baking business.

I think in every way my parents are training us, I couldn't ask for more. And if I had the choice between me having the freedom to do my own things and the correction and training from my parents--I'd pick the correction and training for sure.

I couldn't ask for more. Now that I look back, I know I would be a really messed up kid if my parents hadn't been correcting me and training me. I can see it because of how much I have changed, and I can see it when I'm around other kids who haven't been trained like me.

And if I didn't have my parents training me and correcting me--I'd scream! I'd go crazy! I need it! In all the ways that they correct me, I can't disagree with any one of them--with any of the ways they correct us children.

I'm thankful for the parents God chose for me. I couldn't have chosen better parents if I tried.

by

Gabe Anderson

Age 12

Now a comment from Breton (age 8), who wandered in to see what we are doing:

Hi. My name is Breton. If I didn't have a mom who trained me so much, how would I be? When I grow up, I'd probably be the worst mom in the world. I think if she didn't teach me, I would have been the naughtiest kid in the world. And if they didn't correct me--I'd scream. I used to scream a lot. But now since she corrects me, I am joyful. And I have been joyful ever since.

Now a comment from Sierra (age 11), Breton's friend from church who is spending the night. She's here now, too.

Sierra, you've spent a lot of time in our home this past year. What do you think of Breton's parents and the rules of this house?

I think this is a very Godly home. I say that every time I am here. I think everyone should have this kind of home. They should have parents who train like you do. I think the rules are pretty fair--WAY different than my house. If I could, if God chose me to have Cam and Erik as parents, I would definitely want to live here. I definitely recommend living here to any child in the world. It's probably the best house I've ever been to, and I've learned a lot here about how to be a good blessing to my grandfather and my grandmother (that's who I live with). Erik and Cam are teaching me a lot about the Bible and the way God wants me to live. I have a warm feeling every time I come here, and what my point is, I think Cam and Erik are REALLY good parents. That's all I have to say.

[Austin]

Yeah, those kids wrote that like I'm Joan of Arc. :roll:

[Spider Burps]

This woman reminds me of my own mother with the whole expecting her daughter to mother her other children thing. The only difference is that my mom would tell my brother that I "wasn't [his] boss", but would then expect me to raise him while she was gone all day. Any guesses on how well that worked?

When I was around 12, I finally realized how absolutely messed up the whole situation was but I kept on keeping on and did everything I was supposed to do. She suddenly saw it as not good enough, despite my doing more than I'd ever done in the past. When I got older and moved out, I realized that my mom was always angry at me because she was seeing HER teenage behavior in me, rather than the behavior I was actually exhibiting. I'm wondering if Mrs. E is "seeing" her former teenage self in her daughter, which could be especially scary for her if 12-13 was around the time she started experiencing symptoms of bipolar. Just a thought!

That being said, this woman is ape shit insane. Reading her blog makes me want to scream. Ugh.

[julie paradox]

Okay, this is a trivial point in the whole shebang, but...

My son is good at maths. I mean, Very Good at maths. Working at several years ahead and getting top marks kind of thing.

Round about his second birthday he started to count to three.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

The tricky thing is, because the E family has apparently identified their extreme Quiverfull beliefs with their Christian faith, to where they equate the two, they will see any negativity about their resultant harsh parenting as an attack on their faith. They will just write it off as being persecuted for their righteousness. Mrs. E would likely take any criticism, especially from the non-Christian "world," as a badge of honor, and as validation that what she is doing truly is of God.

Exactly.

Yeah, those kids wrote that like I'm Joan of Arc. :roll:

Perfect!

I always wonder why these world-avoiding folks have a computer and internet access--not that the kids get to touch it. If it's so evil....oh! That's right!! To convert heathens like us to their "worldview"....nice.....

[Effie]

I agree with you Muffy, absolutely. Honestly I think the best tack would be to approach this from the basis of Christianity... for example, I see her as a person singularly lacking in humility. Gently pointing this out (with the use of lots of scripture) would probably be most likely to produce a bit of self examination on her part. She'll just completely discount any kind of criticism originating from outside of her belief system as worldly, ungodly or even as an attack of satan.

I wish I had the time to craft some kind of response to her myself, but we're off for piano lessons and PE classes in about an hour.... and lots to do before that :|

Okay, but I think that perhaps Mr. could be more reasonable? That's why I wanted to contact him, not so much the Mrs.

I assume they are ignorant towards science? The fact is though that emotional abuse can be detrimental to a child's well-being, just like other types of abuse, and should not be taken lightly. I have studied this for my BA thesis in social work. Studies even suggest that long-term-damage to a child's self esteem is more likely to occur, for a child who has suffered from psychological abuse than for a child who has suffered from physical abuse.

Anyway, so you who could approach this from a Christian way, please do so. It might not lead somewhere, but it's worth a try. It's about a child who is suffering here.

[NurseNell]

http://homeschoolblogger.com/mrse/781896/ regarding the death of her aunt.

I sure don't want her around my death bed when that time comes. I was with my mother for the last 72 hours of her life. She was unconscious most of that time. My mother was a Unitarian, after being a Lutheran and Catholic earlier in life). She did not believe in an after life. She had made her peace with everyone important to her. If I had talked to her

about anything even remotely religious she'd had come back to haunt me I'm sure. I just held her hand, talked about some of the fun family things from the past, and told her I loved her.m,/

[oscar]

When Mrs. E's online writing was embarrassing her husband in front of their church community, it seemed like he took an active role in shutting down her previous blog.

If you read her new blog - as disturbing as it is - it is sanitized and edited when compared to much of the writing on her old blog. Yet she still appears to be treating her children poorly.

So it seems to me that Mrs. E's husband might urge her to curtail her blogging if he received negative feedback regarding the contents of her blog. However, I am not sure if this would actually lead to her receiving the help and support she needs, or any change in the way she treats her children. It seems more likely that she would return to writing and presenting herself as a mentor to other mothers, while becoming increasingly secretive about what goes on in their home.

I do not think this is a desirable outcome.

The more she shares about what is actually happening in their home, the easier it is for outsiders to keep an eye on her children's well-being.

Moreover, consider this topic on the reasons why women get sucked into ATI.

http://www.freejinger.org/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=3813

In that thread, several posters wrote about how new converts are hooked by the image of the perfect homeschooling family, where the parents love each other, the house is impeccably maintained and the children are well-behaved and obedient. The more writers like Mrs. E reveal about how that particular sausage is made, the less seductive that vision may become.

I think Muffy and persuaded have good insight - it will probably be most constructive to directly approach Mrs. E from a Christian perspective, as a fellow Christian parent.

[Black Aliss]

Okay, this is a trivial point in the whole shebang, but...

My son is good at maths. I mean, Very Good at maths. Working at several years ahead and getting top marks kind of thing.

Round about his second birthday he started to count to three.

This. You can teach a two year old to count to 20 or higher, but the numbers will mean nothing to him. All he has learned is that there is value in repeating things you don't understand. It's best if a child learns the next cardinal number in the sequence when s/he has a need for it, ie when s/he can make sense out of a certain number of objects >2 and realizes there must be a name for that quantity.

[AnnoDomini]

If I never again hear the word 'joyful' I might be very happy indeed. That parenting what to expect from your kid at whatever age was utterly absurd. And I'm judging by my parents' rather high standards. Oh look! We should all be expecting our 8 year olds to 'love correction'! If yourchild doesn't like being beaten, you have failed as a parent. Of course, your child shouldn't enjoy it--it's supposed to be a punishment.

[Trynn]

As someone who suffers from Tourettes Syndrome, this makes me very very angry and emotional. Hopefully this woman acknowledges the disease, or that kid's life is going ot be very miserable indeed. I'm going to stop thinking about it before I start crying...

[GenerationCedarchip]

Yikes! That woman's blog really is disturbing. I remember Sola posting the list of child goals, but I hadn't seen the rest of it. That's the kind of blog where you almost want to have screen shots of it(I don't know how or I'd do it) and report the woman to CPS. It sounds like the kids need help and it sounds like the mother possibly could use some mental health assistance as well.

[emmiedahl]

The goals are ridiculous. My four year old is supposed to have a servant's heart when she is only just figuring out that other people are people with feelings. So developmentally inappropriate. She is quite helpful when it occurs to her, but I cannot imagine that being an expectation.

The one year old list is ridiculous. My baby will be one year old this Saturday and he is such a precious little guy. He is starting to walk, getting into cabinets and has just learned to blow kisses. I can't imagine expectin him to help with laundry! This is a bald little baby who can barely get a teething biscuit to his mouth. She must have some really gifted infants if they are doing chores before they are out of diapers. That, or she is just a raging bitch with no understanding of how God made babies.

[jenny_islander]

I've seen that list somewhere before. I still can't read to the end. My stomach hurts too much.

I have a prediction: After they grow up and leave, at least half of those kids will point to her blog on the Wayback Machine (or whatever has replaced it by then) when they explain to their friends and loved ones why they are no longer Christian. Being fed a steady diet of stones tends to do that to a person.

[emmyfair]

The goals are ridiculous. My four year old is supposed to have a servant's heart when she is only just figuring out that other people are people with feelings. So developmentally inappropriate. She is quite helpful when it occurs to her, but I cannot imagine that being an expectation.

The one year old list is ridiculous. My baby will be one year old this Saturday and he is such a precious little guy. He is starting to walk, getting into cabinets and has just learned to blow kisses. I can't imagine expectin him to help with laundry! This is a bald little baby who can barely get a teething biscuit to his mouth. She must have some really gifted infants if they are doing chores before they are out of diapers. That, or she is just a raging bitch with no understanding of how God made babies.

This.

Tomorrow, my youngest child turns one. She can't do laundry, and if I say "no" to her, I'm pretty sure she'll respond to the tone of my voice, and not the actual word. This woman is totally bucking fonkers.

[emmiedahl]

If she sees 'no' as anything other than a challenge, you are doing great! When I tell Eamon no, he grins and does whatever it is with much gusto and flourish. I have started telling him no as I take away the coffee cup or whatever. Ah, the challenge of poorly trained babies :)

[Wolfie]

On my phone, so excuse typos.

Her developmental stuff is out of line- I'm an adult, and I still can't fall asleep when I want to. I did figure out how to read before I was three, my brother too. (he'd also taught himself to divide by 4, but he is not normal in that way.). My mom was a little worried about my sister at first, and had to be assured that she was normal.

I really worry that this woman's mental illness will get worse.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I explained that when I was depressed and struggling with anger and bitterness and deceit and addictions and lusts–the last thing I was going to do was talk honestly with my husband. I didn’t talk to him at all. I was a total clam. I tried to hide all the bad side of me, hide my mistakes, hide my addictions and failures–I only showed him what I considered the best of me, and I still didn’t feel like he loved me. I wasn’t about to talk to him about the real me, my real struggles. I couldn’t deal with them myself. I couldn’t comprehend trying to talk “around†them and have any productive conversation. I didn’t even try. It felt hopeless. I also didn’t talk to him because I didn’t want to. I was angry at him, bitter, defiant, and vengeful in spirit for all the perceived wrongs he had done against me. I felt like I hated him.....

I STILL don’t talk to my husband much–in the way my friend’s husband was asking about. My mental illness has all been healed. I have no more struggles with depression or any of the bondages of the past that nearly ruined me and my marriage. God has healed me, healed our marriage. Over these past several years, the healing has been continual, marvelous, and amazing as He heals me, grows me, and grows my husband.

Ok--that clears that up! She WAS mentally ill--with bipolar/depression (she mentions bipolar elsewhere). But now it's gone. Right. Lady much of the world has this, myself included. Take the meds. Just do it. No bug and herb teas take the CHEMICALS. Better living thru chemistry. Do this for your long-suffering husband. Do it for your kids so they won't totally hate you.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

It's yards and yards long. You can find it (I broke the link) by using the link on page 1 of this thread, with this ending: /mrse/781876/

This list has 77 items on it! Some have multiple bullet points!! It's an advanced degree in being a perfect non-thinking wife.

[jenny_islander]

If she sees 'no' as anything other than a challenge, you are doing great! When I tell Eamon no, he grins and does whatever it is with much gusto and flourish. I have started telling him no as I take away the coffee cup or whatever. Ah, the challenge of poorly trained babies :)

Yup! This is called "making it happen." Tell the child what you want him/her to do, and if it doesn't happen after a reasonable amount of time/repetition of request, get up and make it happen. No ranting about SINNNNnuuh. Just, teaching.

[AnnoDomini]

Ok--that clears that up! She WAS mentally ill--with bipolar/depression (she mentions bipolar elsewhere). But now it's gone. Right. Lady much of the world has this, myself included. Take the meds. Just do it. No bug and herb teas take the CHEMICALS. Better living thru chemistry. Do this for your long-suffering husband. Do it for your kids so they won't totally hate you.

Heck yes! Hey, my family raised me sorta crunchy when it came to Western medicine (big fans of homeopathy here--ever tried aconite after a shock?) but even we never confused spirituality with refusal of medicine. I may not agree with everthing about modern Western medicine but I respect the heck out of those in the medical field, and am thankful every day for the chemical pills that keep my brain in decent balance from the depression so I can continue to function.

[Edit]

[Muffy]

Still reading through the archived posts Oscar found. (Thanks, Oscar! It's your fault that I didn't get much done this afternoon. :D ) Here's another gem I'd forgotten about:

Oct. 21, 2006

Do I Stand Alone?

Sometimes I feel like our family is alone in this world. Our lives are governed by God's laws and principles, yet when we obey, and follow His steps, we are alone. I can think of no one in my church or in my town with whom I can share all that I am in Christ. I cannot speak of the joy I have, or the things we believe in, or the things we do. They do not understand. They get offended. They think I am an absolute kook.

I have reverence for my husband and strive each day to be a crown to him (as well as to the Lord). I am alone. God has restored our marrige to absolute harmony, and wiped clean the mistakes of our past to even restore purity to our marriage bed. I am alone. Through the grace of God, our home has become a testimony, and a sanctuary, void of worldly things and full of Godly things. But I am alone. (I can't believe to what lengths Christian mothers will go to defend Barbie.) My life is peaceful. I have a 12-year-old boy, a 7-year-old girl, and an 18-month-old toddler, and we live in peace and order. God has helped me learn to schedule, to have diligence and orderliness. I am not harried, stressed, tired, or hurried. But I am alone. I live in contentment and gratefulness, but I am alone. I tear down the high places of old pagan things (i.e., we do not celebrate Halloween, and we do not use greenery at Christmas, etc.), but I am so alone. I do not believe in foolishness in the house of God, so when my children don't participate in screaming, rowdy church activities, I am alone. I don't believe others should have the privilege to teach my children the things of God, so when I use caution about who teaches my children--at least without me present, I am alone (why aren't they relieved not to have to be accountable before God for my children?). When I don't allow my 12-year-old son to attend a co-ed youth group that fosters a dating environment, fleshly indulgence, lack of self-control, and encourages rebellion (by not allowing parents at certain events), I am alone. When I make efforts to train my toddler to sit patiently and quietly through a sermon and not run the aisles and distract members of the congregation, not eat snacks or play with toys or dig through my purse in the service--I stand alone (because I also don't believe he belongs in a nursery unless I am with him. I am his mother and he belongs with me). When I require my older children to walk away from foolish behaviors, such as running and screaming in the church, co-ed tag or wrestling, etc., I stand alone. When I choose to live on my husband's budget and do my best not to spend any money without his approval, I am alone. When I am resourceful and plan my menu so that my grocery bill for a family of 5 averages $60 a week (including cleaning products, toiletries, and other small necessities such as socks, or paper, ), I am alone. I pray over my wardrobe and every need in our home, and every purchase. I don't go on aimless shopping trips all over town or at the mall. I stand alone. I don't talk on the phone all day. I don't watch T.V. I don't run around town on silly errands. I am alone. I don't read fiction novels (unless God guides me to--or unless I am reading character or historical stories with my children--by the way, see my "When Queens Ride By" post), and I almost never watch movies (but we did see "Facing the Giants" in theatres now--the most God-honoring film ever made.). We don't own many movies (I just counted--we have 12 Christian films plus the Fox Faith films by Billy Graham). My children don't watch TV or movies except on special occasions approved by Dad. We are soooo alone! When I am the only mother who doesn't tote her children to kid's choir practice because we work at home on songs, skits, scripture recitations, and other ways we can minister to others as a family wherever we go--I stand alone. When I don't let them participate in the church Christmas play because, first of all, the priorities God has shown us, but even then because of its mock rap music, the renditions of Jingle Bells and Deck the Halls, the worldly and irreverent-sounding music, and the goofy, worldy dialogue--I stand alone. When I prayed for God to stretch a too-small pair of shoes to fit me, and He did--who can I tell who would appreciate how big my God is? (see "My Miracle Shoes").

Oh... I could go on and on. Am I alone? I am around here.

Every church is a lukewarm church. It says so in Revelation. Our Pastor himself said from the pulpit that we have a lukewarm church. If our church is lukewarm, and if I adhered and supported everything our church teaches and every activity they provide: What would that make me? That would make me lukewarm for sure! Yes, I love my church and support it in every way that God shows me to do. I can't even imagine going someplace else! We pray over every minute of our involvement and responsibility in that church. But I know that Biblically, if I am to be on fire for God, it only makes sense that I would not be able to be 100% in line with my church. But oh how I love them and am so thankful for them. They have given so much to us!

I just feel so alone!

Am I alone? Is there anyone out there who knows how good my God is?

Praise the Lord for my two friends, Lisa and Rashelle. They stand with me. They do not live near me, but they are only a phone call or an email away when I need to sing the praises of the Lord and all that He has done for me.

And I thank God for my mother, 1400 miles away in Denver. She loves the Lord, too, and with her, I am not so alone.

But is there anyone else out there who knows that God's ways are good, and they bring peace, happiness, and abundant joy? Is there anyone out there who thinks I am sane?

I think this post makes it pretty obvious that Mrs. E actually takes a grim pride in her "aloneness" and sees it as validation for the rightness of her isolating decisions.

It's like it never occurs to Mrs. E that maybe what rubs people the wrong way isn't actually that she praises God...but instead is that she keeps praising her lifestyle choices. If she'd only shut up about what they don't do, and how much closer to God she is, she'd probably have had an easier time finding real Christian fellowship in her own neighborhood.

[liltwinstar]

Does she really think she and her two friends are the only real Christians in the world? If so, that's crazy.

Also crazy that God would "stretch" her shoes.

She sounds nuts to me.

[Muffy]

And here's a real doozy about how ADHD is actually "Character Deficit Disorder":

Nov. 9, 2006

Attention Deficit Disorder or Character Deficit Disorder?

Posted in Training Children

The fact is that scientific evidence shows that after birth, not counting physical birth defects, a person’s behavior and environment shapes the neural pathways in the brain. The behavior shapes the brain. The brain does not shape behavior. I watched it once on a documentary. This is true for both children and adults. You change your behavior, you are going to change and rearrange your brain.

When it comes to ADD, the drug companies tell the doctors that Ritalin™ and other related treatment drugs will “correct†the brain malfunctions, implying that the brain malfunction is the cause of the behavior or mood problem. Are they right that there is a problem with the brain? Yes. Do they have a drug that will alter the brain chemicals and therefore alter behavior? Yes.

Are they right that the brain problem existed before the behavior problem and therefore caused the behavior problem?

No. But that is what they imply, and that is what your doctors, and therefore you, assume. You assume that your child has a disease that causes their behavior problem. You assume that he has some sort of genetic disorder or condition that is biologically unalterable. Your child has been diagnosed with a “disease.†This same idea applies to all mood-altering drugs, including Prozac™.

The diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder, or ADD, is something fairly new? We’ve only really heard about it the past 20 years. ADD is a make-believe disease invented by the pharmaceuticals that create the drugs for it? The research doctors created the disease and the drug at the same time—a full marketing package, so to speak. Think about it. Did you ever hear about ADD before you heard there was a drug to treat it? Unlike cancer, or the common cold, or the flu, or arthritis, we haven’t been waiting around for hundreds of years for a cure for ADD. ADD and its treatment drugs magically appeared at the same time.

If ADD is a disease, then why is its ENTIRE symptom list a list of bad character traits addressed in the Bible? Attentiveness itself is a biblical character trait and lack of attentiveness sinful and liable to reap sinful consequences (Hebrews 2:1)? If ADD is a disease that can’t be helped, then why does the Bible command us to be attentive, alert (Mark 14:38), cautious (Proverbs 19:2), decisive (James 1:5), dependable (Psalm 15:4), determined (II Timothy 4:7-8), diligent (Colossians 3:23), gentle (I Thessalonians 2:7), obedient (II Corinthians 10:5), orderly (I Corinthians 14:40), patient (Romans 5:3-4), respectful (Romans 14:21), responsible (Romans 14:12), thorough (Proverbs 18:15), and above all, exercise self-control (Galatians 5:24-25)?

The Bible doesn’t command us to avoid cancer, flu, colds, birth defects… the true diseases that are a result of the curse of sin on the world and a constant reminder of our sinful state. The Bible teaches us to pray for healing, to minister to one another when we are sick, and to take a little medicine for our comfort when needed.

The difference? A true disease does not characterize or cause us to sin in any way. ADD children are often disobedient and disrespectful. SIN. (Children, obey your parents in the Lord, and Honor thy father and thy mother). Sin must be called sin and treated as such to be corrected (confessed, trained). Sickness must be called sickness and treated (rest, medicine, physical care).

The Bible does command us to not sin. And the symptom list of ADD is simply a list of sin that has become so prevalent in today’s world that we’ve come to believe that it simply can’t be helped.

If you are a parent whose child has been diagnosed with ADD and is taking drugs to help both him/her and you cope, do you really want your child to be on those drugs for the rest of his/her life? If you were offered a permanent cure, would you take it?

There is a permanent cure. It’s called Godly Character. Godly Character is made up of all the principles for living that God teaches us in His Word that will enable us to live obedient lives free from sinful behavior and consequences.

Does your child have Attention Deficit Disorder or Character Deficit Disorder?

Have you always trained your child to be attentive and have self-control? Or, when you faced those first few difficult situations of hyperactivity, did you just assume it was the way their brain was formed because you had heard that some kids are just that way?

When you train the behavior, you will train the brain. The neural pathways will actually forge new connections in the brain.

Don’t throw up your hands and say, “My child is just this way.†Train obedience with consistent discipline. Train attentiveness with consistent discipline. Train alertness, self-control, diligence, thoroughness, patience, responsibility, determination, gentleness, orderliness, caution, alertness, dependability, and respectfulness.

If God expects these things of all people, then so should you. You should expect them of your children, and it is your job to train them up in this way.

When my daughter started kindergarten, she hated practicing her handwriting. After about one minute of drawing neat letters, she would begin to wiggle, whine, and complain. She would get up from her desk repeatedly. She would stare all around the room, or watch her brother work at his desk, and it could take her 30 minutes or more to be coaxed to finish one simple line of letters. I could have just come to the conclusion that she had an attention deficit problem that couldn’t be helped. But I came to the conclusion that she had an attention deficit problem because she hadn’t been fully trained in attentiveness, self-control, and diligence.

Beginning with the second week of school, I sat down with her and clearly explained to her that I expected her to finish one whole line of letters in five minutes without talking, whining, getting up from her chair, or looking around. I explained how God commands us to be attentive (concentrate), diligent (do our best work), and have self-control (sit still and focus on the important task at hand). I explained to her that as her mother, it was my job to make sure she learned how to be all these things that God commanded her to be. I set five minutes on the timer, and told her I expected her to obey and complete the row of letters in five minutes, doing her best work. I told her that if she didn’t complete the row of letters in five minutes, she would be corrected with a spank for disobeying. (Click here to see exactly what I mean by a "spank" so that your imagination doesn't run away with you!)

My daughter completed the row of letters in five minutes. She completed every row of letters that week in five minutes, except for once, and she was promptly and lovingly corrected with a spank.

The next week, I commanded her to complete two rows of letters in seven minutes. She did. The week after that, she was commanded to complete her entire worksheet in ten minutes. And instead of my full speech on attentiveness, diligence, and self-control, I found myself only needing to occasionally remind her in one sentence to be attentive, diligent, and have self-control. She had been officially trained in those traits.

My children were not born with Attention Deficit Disorder. They were born with Character Deficit Disorder. We all are. As adults we are responsible in seeking to build Godly character in ourselves and each other. We are responsible to model Godly character to our children. But most importantly, we are called to train Godly character in our children. Not medicate it!

Now, of course, I realize I have not met all the children in the world, nor all the parents in the world. I am not a doctor, although I have read doctor’s opinions on the matter and studied extensively in psychology. I know for a fact that some readers are instantly going to get very angry by this article and be outraged that I would dare speak against their poor, sick, helpless child. I could have chosen to disallow comments on this post, but I did not. I welcome and accept all responses. But, to those of you who are infuriated and ready to fight to the death for your pills, before you post your angry comment, maybe you should examine why you have such a huge chip on your shoulder--why you are so defensive? If you really believe in your diagnosis and your pills, then my blogsite is not the place for you. Go to where you get the answers that make you happy, and stay happy. I am nobody, and I am nothing. What are you so worried about? My only wish is that this journal of mine points to God, and the truth of His Word. Maybe you are here because God is trying to get your attention or even answer your prayers so that you can get real help and real healing. He really does have the answer to complete healing for all of us.

In light of her denial about ADHD, I'm pretty sure Mrs. E would reject the notion of prescription medication for her own mental issues.

[jenny_islander]

I think this is one of the worst aspects of fundamentalist punitive parenting: ascribing inconvenient things children do to flaws in their character. It's perilously close to blasphemy: parents are encouraged to feel sinned against--and then they are told to punish in order to make their children right with God!

My toddler son just made an awful mess with breadcrumbs and soup because he's a toddler who is just learning how to eat with a spoon, and because his little fingers twiddle whatever is put into them. I just now, literally just this moment, noticed that he wasn't eating at his little table (we don't do high chairs--they scare me silly!). He has been told before that he only eats at his table, but he's a toddler; he forgets. I sent him back to his table and he went. Even if he hadn't gone, he still would not have been sinning by testing my willingness to enforce what I say. Figuring out what "no" means is part of his job, because he's a toddler. Toddlers twiddle, spill, wander off, get distracted, and often behave like stubborn little burros. Fundamentalists look at this completely innocent behavior and start "chastising." They treat their own kids like enemy prisoners out to climb the fence!

And when their kids turn their backs on Christianity entirely, they never look at their own endless picking, hitting, accusing, fulminating, shaming, lecturing, and blaming blaming blaming; they blame the kids for sin. Again.