Where in the World is Doug Phillips (Who is a Tool)? Part 10

[thoughtful]

The last of AYNA , as we tumble, ever faster, to the end:

In walks . . . this guy:

Spoiler

Who the hell is this? I think he looks pretty scary, but Fritz looks relieved and lowers the gun. The man asks to come in from the storm, and Mama addresses him as Pastor Muhlenberg. A new character, 10 minutes before the end of the film!

He tells them  "Colonel Armstrong and the Royal Americans have defeated the Indians in Ohio." BTW, he has the same bad German accent as Mama. He says that the Indians must return all of the captives, and that 200 have already arrived at Fort Carlisle. 

He is so happy, his eyes cross!

Spoiler

Near the end of this scene, he asks them all to pray, and we see a child who seems to belong to Barbara and Fritz:

Spoiler

Next scene -- Fort Carlisle (I guess -- there's no title this time). Mama walks around calling Regina's name. Barbara spots a familiar handsome face:

Spoiler

Owen and Barbara hug, and he tells her that David died in The Battle of Bushy Run. He adds "He died in my arms. I can tell you no one took his scalp."  Barbara is sad:

Spoiler

I knew David had to die - it's a movie cliche I learned when I read the Mad Magazine parody of the Sand Pebbles, in 1968:

Spoiler

Barbara reunites Owen with Marie, who has come with her, Mama and Fritz to the fort. Marie and Owen hug.

We look at various people scattered about the fort from Mama's POV, trying to find Regina. That's when we see the two youngest Phillips boys:

Spoiler

Barbara is afraid Regina isn't there, but Mama says "She is here. I can feel her presence. I just don't know vhich von. I don't know vat to do."

They go to Colonel Armstrong to ask about Regina, he looks in his little black book mumbling "Regina, Regina . . . " He asks how old she was when taken, and Mama says, "Nine. She vould be nineteen now."

Hey, we've finally found out how long this all took! Let's do the math - from the time Barbara got home until Fritz proposed, it was three years. When Muhlenberg comes down the the chimney - er, through the door -  on Christmas Eve, we are told it is "years later," and Fritz and Barbara have a toddler. So, about another three years? Subtract six from ten, and they were in captivity for four years. Barb sure matured fast.

OK, back to the fort. Armstrong hasn't found a Regina in his book. He asks if she had any identifying marks, or a pet name. Mama says "my little princess vas perfect" and can't think of a pet name.

Suddenly she says "Songbird. My little Songbird." Barbara says "That's it, Mama!" They wander away from Armstrong, and Mama starts singing the title song, searching as she sings.

We see:

Spoiler

And this young woman starts singing along. Mama and Regina run to one another and hug:

Spoiler

Barbara joins them, then Marie . . . then Fritz . . .then Owen,  as (cliche alert!) the camera circles around and around them, and goes into slow motion and finally freezes.

Kelly always seems to be making the wrong choice between emoting and making sure she still looks pretty -- this is one of the worst moments for that issue:

Spoiler

Now, before I show you the fascinating historical things we learn at the end, I must tell you one thing. Nobody ever called Regina "Little Songbird." Well, I don't know if it was true of the real Regina, but it never happened in the early part of this film.  Oops!  They probably should have put that in a pre-kidnap scene, or just had Mama sing the song at the end, without claiming Regina had a nickname, since what is important is that Regina remembered the song.

Continuity issues, right to the end!

OK, here are the important historical addenda:

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

 

Edited October 1, 2019 by thoughtful
riffle

[MamaJunebug]

MAD Magazine ca. the 1969’s FOREVER!!! 

[mirele]

Ok, I'm at work, so I can't do a deep dive on this, but here's an article published today from the New Yorker involving dinosaur fossils, a congressman, Ken Ham, Answers in Genesis AND...  Doug Phillips. Have fun!

 

https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/mark-meadows-and-the-undisclosed-dinosaur-property

 

[hoipolloi]

@mirele - thank you for this!

Already guffawing:

Quote

A few months after the [home school dinsoaur] dig, Vision Forum, Inc., released a documentary called “Raising the Allosaur: The True Story of a Rare Dinosaur and the Home Schoolers Who Found It.” The film’s voice-over is credited to a Winston MacArthur, who sounds a lot like Phillips.

    

[thoughtful]

Quote

Phillips still works on movies, but he told me that he hadn’t thought much about the allosaur documentary in years. In an e-mail, he explained, “I met Mark Meadows at the dino dig, but don’t remember having any substantive conversations with him, and know little about his personal and political views.”

Aw, c'mon, NYer, would it have been too much to make the word "movies" a link to some of Doug's recent work in the world of burlesque?

Did you know that Doug was single-handedly (well, maybe it was some other appendage, rather than a hand) responsible for ruining that lovely, blameless thing called patriarchy?

Quote

Joe Taylor told me that, as far as politics goes, he’s “on Mark’s side, and Doug Phillips’s side—even though Doug ruined the whole patriarch movement, which I’ve been promoting for years.”

 

[MamaJunebug]

2 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Aw, c'mon, NYer, would it have been too much to make the word "movies" a link to some of Doug's recent work in the world of burlesque?

Did you know that Doug was single-handedly (well, maybe it was some other appendage, rather than a hand) responsible for ruining that lovely, blameless thing called patriarchy?

 

Should someone with a subscription to NYer write them about that? 

[mirele]

17 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

Should someone with a subscription to NYer write them about that? 

I have a sub, but I've never been able to chase down those burlesque links.

[DomWackTroll]

4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Joe Taylor told me that, as far as politics goes, he’s “on Mark’s side, and Doug Phillips’s side—even though Doug ruined the whole patriarch movement, which I’ve been promoting for years.”

God, they're such f*%#ing children! "Mom, Doug took my patriarchy!" 

ETA: Oh, and look who was a source...

 

Edited October 1, 2019 by DomWackTroll

[Howl]

In a bazillionty years I NEVER expected that this would turn up in the...New Yorker! 

Who the hell ever thought this bag of crazy would be exhumed?  And Mark Meadows? My head is about to explode.  

Is it The Gift That Keeps On Giving or the Thing That Wouldn't Die?  For Jen Fishbourne, def the former. 

So "Phillips still works on movies" with an easily found email.  

I feel like I'm having a flashback to a bad LSD trip. 

 

Edited October 2, 2019 by Howl

[hoipolloi]

OMFG. Jen Fishburne is a primary source? My faith in the NYer's fact-checking has plummeted!

Seriously, I also wondered why the NYer didn't track down DPIART's current activities, until I looked at Cinema of Wonder earlier today and found this at that URL: 

Edited October 2, 2019 by hoipolloi

[thoughtful]

3 hours ago, DomWackTroll said:

"Mom, Doug took my patriarchy!" 

   

Boys, if I have to stop this car . . .

[DomWackTroll]

Quote

Anyway, my personal theme for October is: Create More White Space. If you are familiar with layout for any kind of printing job, you know that I mean the actual white space on a page. It gives the words or images room. I want more white space in my life.

Okay, I'm tempted to make a neo-Confederate joke here ('cause you are one, Beall), but... Is this prepping her followers for a big announcement? "Getting out in front of the story," as they say in PR? Has the New Yorker story brought things, finally, to a head? Or is the Frumpered Philosopher just musing about life 'n' stuff again? 

 

 

[Marian the Librarian]

"October...has always been a month of change for us."

Could Beall possibly be referring to Tool O'Ween, October 2013??

[hoipolloi]

59 minutes ago, DomWackTroll said:

Okay, I'm tempted to make a neo-Confederate joke here ('cause you are one, Beall), but... Is this prepping her followers for a big announcement?

That's what I thought.

51 minutes ago, Marian the Librarian said:

Could Beall possibly be referring to Tool O'Ween, October 2013??

Exactly. 

 

 

[FundieGhostWriter]

@mirele, a level eleventy Thank You for spotting this.

On 10/1/2019 at 11:14 PM, MamaJunebug said:

MAD Magazine ca. the 1969’s FOREVER!!! 

A long promised clean up is just underway at my place. Who could have predicted that these two items, thirty years apart as they are, would one day fit perfectly together on the very same page of FJ? Only open the spoiler if you promise: a) not to be jealous (AFAIK it's the only MAD mag I still own), and b) NOT to ask me to take one for the team (like the heroics of @thoughtful with AYNA) and listen to it. After I was given it (at a convention I was working at), I put it on in the car (back when cars had tape players) and my full summary runs thus: blah, blah, the most important man of the last thousand years was John ... Wycliffe (I remember that even after twenty years, because I think he said it to shock listeners that it wasn't John Calvin) blah, blah.

Spoiler

And how's this for the back cover of the last Mad magazine of the 60s! Who could have envisaged then how the 80s would unfold!

Spoiler

And the liner notes of the cassette - because 'DOUG PHILLIPS WEARS SEVERAL HATS' is clearly one for posterity.

Spoiler

And finally, glancing at another thread:

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32592-botkin-alert-they-are-back-on-the-conference-circuit/?page=7&tab=comments#comment-1826581

our Southern Beall's craving for 'More White Space' has reminded me, @MamaJunebug, that I've been meaning to take you to task for

Quote

Who in their right mind would think an uneducated Yank could arrive in NZ in the 1990s & take right over?  Geoff seems to have solidly missed the fact that New Zealand is not some recently colonized plot of dirt. 

six-fingered banjo-plucking Johnny Rebscholarly Confederate gentleman - if you please, MJB! There, all done now!

[ophelia]

8 hours ago, Marian the Librarian said:

"October...has always been a month of change for us."

Could Beall possibly be referring to Tool O'Ween, October 2013??

How was this 2013?? Wow.. time is running so damn fast. I didn't realize that Tool O'Ween was already SIX (!!) years ago. 

[smittykins]

Didn’t MAD Magazine just cease publication?  I know they eventually reversed policy and started accepting ads a number of years ago.  I had stopped reading it by then.

[MamaJunebug]

2 hours ago, smittykins said:

Didn’t MAD Magazine just cease publication?  I know they eventually reversed policy and started accepting ads a number of years ago.  I had stopped reading it by then.

They needed to. They had become absolutely awful with their contributors. The great Don Martin, he ofvthe people with the hinged shoes, may he RIP, was particularly abused by the publishers, I heard. 

[FundieGhostWriter]

It's only fair to share my fantasy, that Doug had a 'prophetic' dream earlier this year: 'by October, my child, your work will feature in... The New Yorker.' I'd like to think Lucifer's promise kept him going, as he chased fishnet clad eye-trappers through retro festivals, looking fondly forward to his next moment in the sun, only to pay his subscription on 1st October and shriek: 'oh no... it's my Allosaurus again.'

I don't think Charles Bethea dug deep enough (although talking to Jen is really deep - in the bat guano) to pull up anything new. The only thing in the story that I didn't remember was just how much VF was charging 10-year-olds to go bone hunting - $1000 bucks each! - no wonder the poor little tykes are being served Tater Tot Casserole (ew, who knew THAT was a thing?) the rest of the year at home.

I'm also wondering if Bethea's source on AiG might have been - Ken Ham?

Quote

Answers in Genesis, a Christian nonprofit based in Kentucky, which was founded by the Australian creationist Ken Ham.

Hmm... that's not the AiG origins story as I've heard it.

When I started posting on FJ I envisaged doing it a few times, and finding myself forever labelled a bathroom baby. But fundies are the gift that keeps on giving. I enjoy the education the post count titles provide. The meaning of the first was obvious, but with 'bathroom baby' I immediately went to a place of soothing music and scented candles - a spa bath in a luxurious birthing suite...

But, no, that's way too nice! How about, instead, a 14th blessing in a cardboard box stashed beside the toilet. Lovely! And 'tater tot' I thought was an obvious play on words: a very small child in a trailer, fed mostly on potatoes. But, no, I'd never even heard of the fundie casserole 'delicacy'. Is there a point to it? Are we really that fond of freezer food? Sorry if I'm being a terrible food elitist - but do you serve it with mashed French Fries. And for dessert... pancakes and syrup, as a soup...

[Flyinthesoup]

8 hours ago, FundieGhostWriter said:

I'm also wondering if Bethea's source on AiG might have been - Ken Ham?

Hmm... that's not the AiG origins story as I've heard it.

There's so many good things you wrote in this posting, but I am especially curious on this one.  I have heard a different account, too, and I am wondering, would be willing to share what you have heard?  

[FundieGhostWriter]

Happy to share, @Flyinthesoup, though I'm tempted to put this under a spoiler with a health warning about adverse outcomes from ROTFL - but I figure FJers have strong constitutions for this stuff.

       The TRUE Origins Story of KEN HAM'S ANSWERS IN GENESIS

The predecessor to AiG was founded in the 70s by an Australian, a genuine MD (not bogus PhD) named Carl Wieland. This group absorbed Ken Ham's operation (Ham was a small-time speaker/book retailer) in the 80s. Twenty-five years later when Dr Carl tried to address Ken's 'issues' (big head, tyranny, salary and expenses, museum folly, fake science) Ham responded with a coup d'état. The affair was headed for court, but before all the juicy stuff could emerge there was a mediation - the result of which was that Ken kept nearly all the toys, and the guys who had supported him for years got - ah, well, the reputational benefit of not being associated with the Kentucky Museum (I hear Ken hopes that when he shuffles off this mortal coil the state will be renamed KenHamtucky - or at least that the motto will change to Porco gratiam habeamus or the nickname to KENtucky, bluegrass eggs and HAM state).

The curtailing of the court process in the 00s was a disappointment to this snarker, but enough dribbled out to confirm the crazy tales that I had previously doubted. John Mackay, Ken's original ministry partner, the man who introduced extreme patriarchy, unfermented-grape-juice exorcisms and witch-hunting to modern Creationism, enthusiastically supported Ken after the coup. This led Dr CW's team to release damning evidence against JM from a battle they had fought in the 80s (to illustrate how lacking in discernment KH was to endorse JM back in the day, and how disgraceful to snuggle up to him again). I don't know if this has been discussed on FJ before, so to keep it brief, John Mackay had tried to take control of AiG in the mid 80s. He had implied that he was one of the two witnesses of the book of Revelation, and after secretly and without authority changing all the locks of Creation central in Australia overnight, had begun sprinkling holy grape juice all over the office space - because Ken Ham's secretary: 1) was the reawakened spirit of Jezebel; 2) had filled the AiG building with demons; 3) after mystically empowering herself by means of necrophilia had tried to destroy him (JM) by sending a 'droopy-eyed' black cat to live in his attic (I'm not making this up); and 4) had taken Satanic possession of John Mackay's own body (and we all know what that means - when an attractive widow somehow invades a patriarch's otherwise perfectly wholesome thoughts - must be demons, right!). JM then held a bonfire of the vanities to destroy things the witch had touched (such as presents the lovely lady, innocent victim of JM's fantasies, had given to the creep's family). I am a creative person, but I'm not sure I could have made this up - and I'm laughing so hard that tears flow as I type. Honestly, the only exaggeration in this post is the Latin and the Dr Seuss. I've left much out. If I detailed just how crazy modern day witch-hunter John Mackay is - Ken Ham's brother-in-arms from way back - you'd struggle to believe me. (Reward me with laughter and love, not WT...s!)

[MamaJunebug]

An otherwise pleasant contractor who just did work on the Bug-nest told me his wife had requested a trip to the creation museum in lieu of their usual jaunt to Colorado (they d had a big expense), and that it would take a person way more than two days to see it all. 

Just my one & only brush with it so far. 

Edited October 7, 2019 by MamaJunebug

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

An otherwise pleasant contractor who just did work on the Bug-nest told me his wife had requested a trip to the creation museum in lieu of their usual jaunt to Colorado (they d had a big expense), and that it would take a person way more than two days to see it all. 

Just my one & only brush with it so far. 

My mother doesn’t actually believe the world is 6,000 years old and all that but she would go to the creation museum with friends if they asked. She is a religious Christian but not fundie and doesn’t think the Bible literal. However she has this ridiculously high respect for fundie bullshit. It just makes me shake my head. Because she doesn’t have that kind of respect for non Christian fundies (Muslim, Jewish, etc).

[DomWackTroll]

In the comments: "Congratulations on your daughter's wedding. I saw pictures. She was a beautiful bride." 

????????????

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, DomWackTroll said:

In the comments: "Congratulations on your daughter's wedding. I saw pictures. She was a beautiful bride." 

????????????

 

No, it was a fundie wedding for someone else. I believe Kayleigh Holt Tull said it was between her brother in law and cousin. So Rob Tull’s brother and one of the cousins of the Holts.