Where in the World is Doug Phillips (Who is a Tool)? Part 10

[Maxwell]

8 hours ago, AnnaSofia said:

Ding ding ding!

Why am I not surprised that DPIART is at the center of a picture of HIS MOTHER'S birthday party...

[Leftitinmysnood]

11 minutes ago, Maxwell said:

Why am I not surprised that DPIART is at the center of a picture of HIS MOTHER'S birthday party...

It hides the fact he isn't next to Beall.

[VVV]

21 minutes ago, Leftitinmysnood said:

It hides the fact he isn't next to Beall.

Is that Beall seated next to the railing, directly behind a couple of little kids?

[MamaJunebug]

And look at that smug smile on the moustsche-waxed bearded guy — want to bet that’s Brad, whose arrogance resulted in the deaths of dozens of people?

I love that Alessandra has her arm companionably on Be-all’s shoulder. Bless Aless, who’s forgiven her SIL & bro for physically trying to prevent her from living her own opera-singing life. Beall even has bare arms to match Aless’ low-cut sundress. 

Ah, family. 

1 hour ago, Maxwell said:

Why am I not surprised that DPIART is at the center of a picture of HIS MOTHER'S birthday party...

Because another name for him is DPITCU — 

Doug Philips Is The Center of the Universe. 

[Marian the Librarian]

I'm pretty sure the seated man with the beard and 'stache is Sam, DPIAT's/DPITCU's youngest sibling.

I think Brad is standing in the back row, 3rd from the right, next to his mother. Here's a pic I found on FB for comparison.

And yes, that's Beall seated on the right, with Virginia (her youngest) in front of her.

[AnnaSofia]

Yup, Beall is sitting on the steps next to the railing. I think that's Doug's sister Jennifer (the NYC actress) with her arm around Beall, Alessandra is sitting on the other side of Jubilee, next to Providence.

Left to right, that's Jennifer, Amanda, their mother Margaret (Peggy), and Alex/Alessandra.

[thoughtful]

6 hours ago, AnnaSofia said:

From what I remember, Jubilee actually did well with her small role. She came off as fairly natural/unaffected on camera.

She flashes a few natural smiles, and I'm sure she tried her best. But the combination of lousy writing and bad direction (and, I suspect, even more bad direction from Doug) worked against her.

I think she and the older woman in the tent when Barbara is brought there (who may be Lourdes' Mom -- I don't know what she looks like, and her credit just says "Kind Native Woman") are clearly meant to show us how Barbara and Marie's experiences differed -- everyone is kind to Barbara.

Which brings me back to the recap, which I have so badly ignored while I lived my actual life.

In their cozy "ledge sandwich" under the waterfall, Marie tells Barbara that she, Owen and David (remember Owen and David? We haven't seen them since they learned to hunt buffalo) are planning to escape. Barbara argues "It's not possible to escape -- don't you remember Lydia?"

At this point, my Everything's a Song Cue Syndrome kicked in, and my mind started singing at me in Groucho Marx's voice:

Lydia, oh Lydia, don't you recall Lydia,

Oh, Lydia the well-smoked lady!

As the fire and the smoke grew

That brave soul said "I forgive you."

Lydia, oh Lydia, we must recall Lydia,

Like salmon, they smoked her all day!

As she cried out to Jehovah,

"Am I salty, am I nova?

They'll smoke you, like me

If you try to run free!"

You can learn a lot from Lydia!

La, dee, dah . . .

Oh, sorry -- back to the recap. Marie says that burning at the stake would be better than another year with that old woman.

Barbara says:

"The weers (warriors? It took me several tries to even come up with that possibility) can run all day without stopping."  

"Hannah would burn us all." I don't think his name is Hannah, Barb.

"We don't even know where the food is." Huh? The camp is full of food - they work with it all day! Marie was preparing some gross thing for the old woman when she signaled you.

"We must return." Barbara leaves Marie sitting on the ledge. Bummer.

Next comes the best, most natural scene in the whole movie; a fragment of a rather violent game of lacrosse, in which Kelly Leininger looks relaxed while playing. She and Marie grin when she scores, and there is whooping, of course (gotta have whooping!).

But the fun (and natural acting) ends, as the old woman grabs Marie away, saying "No time for for fun! You work now!"

We see a guy who looks like a white man made up to look Native looking angry, and another looking sad for him - we don't know why.

Barbara is now accessorizing with a lovely light blue sash -- if she draped it over one shoulder, she'd be ready for Gwen Shamblin Lara's Weigh Down cult:

Spoiler

 

[Hane]

49 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

My Everything's a Song Cue Syndrome kicked in, and my mind started singing at me in Groucho Marx's voice:

Lydia, oh Lydia, don't you recall Lydia,

Oh, Lydia the well-smoked lady!

As the fire and the smoke grew

That brave soul said "I forgive you."

Lydia, oh Lydia, we must recall Lydia,

Like salmon, they smoked her all day!

As she cried out to Jehovah,

"Am I salty, am I nova?

They'll smoke you, like me

If you try to run free!"

You can learn a lot from Lydia!

  Hide contents

 

 

There was a time I thought I was an absolute genius at song parody, as my skills were sought far and wide among my colleagues at Ma Bell. You, my dear @thoughtful, have thoroughly disabused me of this notion. I bow before your far superior talents.

[thoughtful]

@Hane, you're too good to me. As it happens, I did that one carelessly, and I'm pretty sure I mixed rhythms from various parts of the song. Just couldn't resist the lox jokes.

Now I want lox.

Check out the Bro Gary thread for one I did more carefully, checking the rhythm against the original. He had a post in which he put a gap in the word "some." I read "so me," and Julie Andrews invaded my brain.

Anyway, back to AYNA:

Another beautiful waterfall:

Spoiler

Look at that picture and enjoy the tranquility for a moment. It will help you get through what's coming.

Barbara and Galasko are strolling by the waterfall, looking like any two lovers enjoying Woodstock:

Spoiler

G mentions The Great Spirit, and B asks "what is The Great Spirit?" Really? She's never heard anything about their beliefs in all these years? I guess she slept through every ceremony and prayer, or stuck her fingers in her ears and said "lalalala . . .I'm a Christian . . . .lalalala"

G explains that Great Spirit and Evil Spirit were the sons of Sky Woman. Great Spirit created all of the good stuff, Evil Spirit all of the bad stuff.   They battled, and Evil Spirit was cast out of the heavens, and still roams the forest, making trouble (as he's saying this, he takes of the belt with his knife, and ties it around her waist - no explanation, and she doesn't ask why).

Now, does this sound like the perfect cue for B to explain about her faith including a good God and an evil Satan, who was cast out of heaven? Nope. With a mischievous look, she asks who created Sky Woman, and who fathered her two sons (hmmm. . . sounds like the kind of question an agnostic or atheist would ask). G doesn't know.

B says "My God (it sounds like "my guy," but I will spare you another song parody) created the heavens and the earth, and all living things. He sent his only son, Jesus, to forgive our sins, so that we can know Him."

So I guess he's never heard about her religion, either (more believable, I guess, since he's not living in their community). He seems unconvinced, but the plucked eyebrows, modern makeup, perfect teeth, horrible wig, and Kelly's being from the "wiggle your head back and forth and pause a lot to show sincerity" school of acting instantly converted me to Christianity.

Spoiler

I like the necklace.

G nods solemnly, and says: I do not know this Jesus. The white man's god is strong. White men have good weapons."

This is said with another beautiful backdrop, and, of course, they got there by leaping from rock to rock; gotta have the leaping from rock to rock over water scene -- it's an important cliche for any film that is outdoorsy and old-timey:

Spoiler

Next . . . the proposal! I promise I won't make you wait as long as Jill and Nurthan.

 

 

[bea]

First: Beall looks great. She looks to have shed about 190lbs of useless (DPIAT), I suspect, though she’ll never admit it.
Second: THANK YOU for bringing up the McDonalds, as I have followed Stacy approximately forever and was waiting until someone mentioned them so I could show you all how James and Stacy are making their money these days.
https://jamesandstacy.com

Shorter story: they had no money and lots of debt and Stacy started her little “side business” pyramid scheme. And it “now generates over $14,000,000 per year in revenue and supports an organization of over 20,000 people! We run this business without having to stock inventory, do bookkeeping, ship products, go to “a job,” or worry about a staff!
In fact, our “business” is more like a glorified referral program.”

So Stacy made it to the top of the pyramid and you - yes, YOU - can train DIRECTLY with James and Stacy. They’ll invest in you! You just have to pay $160 for a starter kit and $100/mo after that. They will PERMIT you to give them your money, because you want to be part of this money-making machine, right?
It boggles my mind that in the Year of our Lord Two Thousand and Goddamn Nineteen, we are still trying to explain to people that pyramid scams only make money for the people at the TOP. Stacy is very sharp and they had a huge network and the chutzpah to pull it off and now they’re at the top of the pyramid, but that requires C O N S T A N T infusions of new people and that dries up.
Anyway I am very amused that Stacy the Perfect Homemaker and Pastor James McSmugf*cker were, in their own words, “in a financial rut, under a mountain of debt, experiencing overwhelming stress, and feeling the weight of the future.” They are quick to say that it’s not that James FAILED to provide, he was a great provider. He always provided. But they had Old Debt and it was hard. [emoji20]
(Old Debt is still debt, BTW. Debt in your name, money that you owe. Old Debt isn’t a person in a black mask that knocks you out and when you wake up, you have financial obligations. Old Debt is a fancy way to say “being called by debt collectors,” usually.)
TLDR: they’re ALL charlatans and grifters.

[Marian the Librarian]

16 minutes ago, bea said:

TLDR: they’re ALL charlatans and grifters.

Preach it, @bea!!

Stacy sightings - her extreme modesty preaching, her articles, her essential oiliness - always made me want to chew a bowl of carpet tacks. It's too bad the "Ladies Against Feminism" website is on hiatus and no longer searchable. I have a distinct memory of one article she posted there - it led with cautionary "for the eyes of married women ONLY, this is NOT for single young ladies because it's about SEX!!!, and included a photo of a ginormous bed topped with luxurious white bath towels twisted into the shapes of kissing swans. Hey, we all KNOW that daily married life is just full of that oily sexual prosperity gospel, amIright??? None of that Mean Old Debt for us...

[MamaJunebug]

“Her essential oiliness” — preach it likewise, @Marian the Librarian!

I wonder if the McShadies have learned their lesson and socked anything away. Or if the >20,000 poor unfortunate souls who support them (to be accurate) are sending money upline to where Jim & Sta squander it away. 

Don’t really care, but moderately fascinated by people who come into a lot of money and how it affects them. Lottery winners who are bankrupt within a few years, et.al.  If JamesAndStacy can’t replenish their 20,000 supporters, what will happen? 

4 hours ago, AnnaSofia said:

Yup, Beall is sitting on the steps next to the railing. I think that's Doug's sister Jennifer (the NYC actress) with her arm around Beall, Alessandra is sitting on the other side of Jubilee, next to Providence.

Left to right, that's Jennifer, Amanda, their mother Margaret (Peggy), and Alex/Alessandra.

I stand corrected! Maybe Aless keeps the gruesome twosome at arm’s length, still! 

[hoipolloi]

1 hour ago, bea said:

I have followed Stacy approximately forever and was waiting until someone mentioned them so I could show you all how James and Stacy are making their money these days.
https://jamesandstacy.com

What a load of fucking lies, as always with James & Stacy McDonald:

Quote

After marriage, Stacy worked at home editing an international Christian magazine that she and her husband owned and operated. 

Re: bolded. WHICH marriage, Stacy? Your first one that you like to pretend never happened?

[bea]

Also where is the Old Debt from?
Since James has always been a good provider, you know.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

@bea  just dropped in to say how much I love your avatar!

Edited September 20, 2019 by Don'tlikekoolaid
Stupid spellcheck

[Hane]

@thoughtful, guess what I am eating at this very minute. Well, not exactly the real thing, but some smoked salmon from IKEA on rye with chive cream cheese. (Not buying it again—next time it’s the real deal Nova from Rein’s New York Deli in Vernon, CT, where a venerable gentleman painstakingly slices the lox by hand from whole salmon fillets.)

[Howl]

Please let "Paying off Old Debt" become a post count. 

MLM Ministry has a certain resonant ring to it. 

[DomWackTroll]

23 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

WHICH marriage, Stacy? Your first one that you like to pretend never happened?

Now, now, @hoipolloi... Stacy was actually a widow when she met James, you know. A "grace widow," to be specific. Because she says so. 

I'd link but they're scrubbin' hard, which makes me wonder if Matt Chancey is thinking about getting back into US politics (God forbid!). 

[CyborgKin]

So now I automatically have this in my head:

Spoiler

 

Not complaining.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

18 minutes ago, CyborgKin said:

So now I automatically have this in my head:

  Hide contents

 

Not complaining.

I discovered this one recently:

Spoiler

 

He isn't as cute as Kermit, though. 

[hoipolloi]

1 hour ago, DomWackTroll said:

I'd link but they're scrubbin' hard, which makes me wonder if Matt Chancey is thinking about getting back into US politics (God forbid!). 

God forbid, indeed -- one wonders about this, given Jennie's reinvention of their past:

Quote

I was inspired to have a big family by the book Cheaper by the Dozen, written by the second eldest of 12 children who grew up in the 1920s and 1930s in the States. 

Re: scrubbing. Oh, they all are scrubbing up a storm.

Before posting my snide snark above, I went to look for the lengthy explanation of "grace widows" that Stacy posted on her blog some years ago. Lo and behold -- it had vanished!

[MamaJunebug]

16 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

God forbid, indeed -- one wonders about this, given Jennie's reinvention of their past:

Re: scrubbing. Oh, they all are scrubbing up a storm.

Before posting my snide snark above, I went to look for the lengthy explanation of "grace widows" that Stacy posted on her blog some years ago. Lo and behold -- it had vanished!

Imagine that [drily].

Is The Wsyback Machine no longer useful? It turned up nothing for me when I was loooking for a “The Winton Singers” history. 

Edited September 21, 2019 by MamaJunebug

[hoipolloi]

7 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

Is The Wsyback Machine no longer useful? It turned up nothing got me when I was loooking for a The Winton Singers history. 

Thank you, @MamaJunebug! Had forgotten about this resource.

Fortunately, the Wayback Machine has archived Stacy's rather convoluted explanation of a "grace widow," as seen in the following screen capture.

Haven't checked them all, but it looks all four parts of her explanatory series on "grace widows" as well as a lot of her other drivel is still available through the Wayback Machine.

Enjoy!

[kpmom]

Isn't it funny how when it's convenient fundies will,

1) Come up with a long, convoluted explanation as to why their divorce is A-O.K. , but tell other women there is no acceptable reason for divorce because God hates divorce (even when men are sexually abusing their own children according to Michael Pearl).

2) Borrow something from the otherwise heathen Roman Catholic Church because it sounds good and suits their purpose.

[bea]

Wow, there is a LOT of scrubbing going on!

Hey, remember when the oldest McDonald girl was courting and how it wasn’t DATING it was COURTSHIP and that meant it was SERIOUS.
But then they broke up, the way people sometimes do when they’ve been dating, and allllll the courtship posts got nuked.
Man. Stacy McDonald is a true Queen of Retcon, I swear.