Jana 6: What's in Store for 2018?

[finnlassie]

I've had the reverse experience. Went from Big Cities™ to this shithole small city I live in currently. Everyone knows each other's moves. Friends tell me they saw me alone at x y z (why not come and say hello then you asses??), or people looking at me weird if I decide to eat in alone at the local BK, like the fuck she doin' alone hammin' down that crispy chicken for?!. Nothing expect the Walmart equivalent and a couple of petrol stations are open past 18:00/19:00. I mean, I lived the first 10 years of my life in the countryside closest shop being 15 km away, but I was >10, I didn't care about this stuff. But I got to grow up in a metropolitan area with perfect public transportation. And then I move in here to study, right in God's arsehole.

[xenobia]

I have only one thing to say, and I expect Chip&Jo to set this up: 

[Iamtheway]

On 7/30/2018 at 5:25 PM, TZmom said:

I think they'll have her pop out at least one baby before they cancel- maybe it will be twins!

If you are a twin you do have a higher chance (or risk?) of getting twins. I still remember the horrified look on my friends face (she was a twin) when our teacher told us she had one set of twins and her twinsister had two. 

[justmy2cents]

2 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

If you are a twin you do have a higher chance (or risk?) of getting twins. I still remember the horrified look on my friends face (she was a twin) when our teacher told us she had one set of twins and her twinsister had two. 

I think I've said it here before. My friend's husband has fraternal twin sisters. One of them had two sets of fraternal twins in 2 years. 

[KeshetParparNesicha]

@xenobia who is that?

[xenobia]

3 minutes ago, KeshetParparNesicha said:

@xenobia who is that?

It's Jonathan Scott, one of the twin brothers in Property Brothers (and other TV-shows, like Brother vs Brother). He's the builder brother. Drew, the estate agent brother, recently got married. 

He's good looking, works with renovating houses, he's on TV....  

The only problem with the match is that he's (as far as I know) not especially religious at all. 

[KelseyAnn]

18 hours ago, finnlassie said:

I've had the reverse experience. Went from Big Cities™ to this shithole small city I live in currently. Everyone knows each other's moves. Friends tell me they saw me alone at x y z (why not come and say hello then you asses??), or people looking at me weird if I decide to eat in alone at the local BK, like the fuck she doin' alone hammin' down that crispy chicken for?!. Nothing expect the Walmart equivalent and a couple of petrol stations are open past 18:00/19:00. I mean, I lived the first 10 years of my life in the countryside closest shop being 15 km away, but I was >10, I didn't care about this stuff. But I got to grow up in a metropolitan area with perfect public transportation. And then I move in here to study, right in God's arsehole.

I LOATHE small towns. People from my town still hate me because of who my mother was. I could be a cancer-curing doctor and they'd still think I was worthless because of who birthed me. 

I like the anonymity a bigger city gives you. 

21 minutes ago, xenobia said:

It's Jonathan Scott, one of the twin brothers in Property Brothers (and other TV-shows, like Brother vs Brother). He's the builder brother. Drew, the estate agent brother, recently got married. 

He's good looking, works with renovating houses, he's on TV....  

The only problem with the match is that he's (as far as I know) not especially religious at all. 

He was also on dancing with the stars! Unless that's drew I'm thinking of. 

[2manyKidzzz]

33 minutes ago, KelseyAnn said:

I LOATHE small towns. People from my town still hate me because of who my mother was. I could be a cancer-curing doctor and they'd still think I was worthless because of who birthed me. 

I like the anonymity a bigger city gives you. 

He was also on dancing with the stars! Unless that's drew I'm thinking of. 

Drew was on Dancing. The Scott brothers are not overtly religious, but are really, really nice and good guys. They unabashedly love and care for their parents. But not fundy at all. 

[SilverBeach]

On 7/30/2018 at 3:14 PM, AliceInFundyland said:

It’s also what we do here.

It's what some of you all do, particularly in the Duggar threads.

41 minutes ago, KelseyAnn said:

I like the anonymity a bigger city gives you. 

The bigger city can also come with more isolation and loneliness.

[KelseyAnn]

1 hour ago, SilverBeach said:

It's what some of you all do, particularly in the Duggar threads.

The bigger city can also come with more isolation and loneliness.

Meh. I'll isolation over shunning any day. 

[finnlassie]

1 hour ago, KelseyAnn said:

I LOATHE small towns. People from my town still hate me because of who my mother was. I could be a cancer-curing doctor and they'd still think I was worthless because of who birthed me. 

I like the anonymity a bigger city gives you. 

Aaaaah fuck that triggered a memory. See my family moved into this village/small town right before I was born, and they had lived in the same big city we'd later move to before movin' there. And it was fucking horrible. Shit talkin especially behind my mother's back. Whole families bullied us. Yeah. Whole fuckin families against us. The mothers shit talkin my mother, their kids were in the same grades as me and my siblings (it was pretty normal to have at least 4 kids around there, I had two friends that were only kids and they were sort of... exotic). So we just get bullied for the sake of being from my family. My teacher from 1st to 3rd grade had taught my sister from 1st to 3rd and would always compare us, either dissing me or my sister like hella full on. My sister was left handed and she forced her to learn knitting and everything right handed, idk if I made this memory up in my head but I think she used to forcefully hold her hands teaching her. To me it was shit like, "your sister always sharpened her pencil idk what sort of motoric issues you got" or "it's so good you can sit down silent and follow instructions your sister was horrible at it" (likely referring to my sister being of advanced reading level and reading "too fast" compared to the rest of the class). This bitch was the wife of the principal too. Fuck that shit.

Yeah. Fuck that. Now I remember how much I hated that small ass shitty village. They have the best summer theatre tho and our house was lovely, in the middle of a forest. But apart from two friends, it was all nasty as hell.

I really wish I could be anonymous again. Especially since I downloaded Tinder lol. Did that while I was visiting my mum in Helsinki, ofc I ain't gonna bump into those dudes there, there's like 600k people living in Helsinki. But I continued here in my shithole small city AND OH MY GOD I ALMOST SUPERLIKED THIS ONE REALLY CRUSTY BUS DRIVER BY ACCIDENT. And I fuckin KNOW he seen me on Tinder, it's not difficult to see everyone in your age range that own Tinder. I matched with so many engineer students from my small uni lol. Thankfully my faculty's classes are mostly in a completely different building from theirs lol.
But hey I matched with a guy with a motorcycle that's taking me out tomorrow and he doesn't seem batshit country ass crazy

[SapphireSlytherin]

4 hours ago, KelseyAnn said:

Meh. I'll isolation over shunning any day. 

Can I get an AMEN on this one?

Small towns SUCK. The people SUCK (and if you think they don't, then you're from the "right" side of the tracks).

I love the isolation and anonymity of living in a city. LOVE it. I could easily move to NYC or London and be perfectly happy being a city-hermit:  meaning, I'd be JUST FINE all by myself, surrounded by millions of people I don't know, and - more importantly - who don't know me or MY FAMILY. 

[TatiFish9]

I was reading somewhere (I know this decreases its validity, but for the life of me I can not remember the source), that due to responsibility levels at prime dating aka "Duggar-getting to know" age, eldest SAHDs tend to marry after their younger siblings, in their 30's or never marry at all. I know we can think of cases of this happening in other profile fundie families. Jana may be on track in that regard. She may also be secretly in love or experiencing unrequited love. But it can very much be likely that she simply has not found her Jonathan Scott, yet.

Btw, I could not imagine the man Jana described as her type, fitting what we know to be her personality. However, Jonathan is an excellent choice @xenobia!!! Jonathan is the perfect fit of Jana's description, minus the whole not being fundie part!!!  And that's precisely it. The kind of guy Jana is looking for (assuming she's looking) may never make his way to Fundieville. I think she will need a guy that is equally as famous or more so famous than her. Considering things presented about her personality, he will need to be  fiercely independent (not relying on parents or family for financial support), a doer, significantly good looking, kind and mature. 

Even in secular society, Jana is getting to the age where the average family would start to make hints about her settling down. That does not mean she needs to find someone in that time frame. If she truly wants to marry, I hope it happens for her.  I think her family needs to allow her the opportunity to find the right person for her and not their standards. But who am I kidding. 

 

[finnlassie]

There's also a narrative that sort of makes people think that if another prefers the city, they're all about the central life and so on. I love me a bigger city, but in no way will I EVER live in the centre of it all, ever again (I love ya Glasgow, but never again will I live on High St...). I wanna live in the suburbs. That way I can enjoy some quiet time, but am also near to services with good frequent public transport from that suburb to the hustle and bustle.

[SilverBeach]

11 hours ago, KelseyAnn said:

Meh. I'll isolation over shunning any day. 

To each her own. I grew up in Chicago and still live in the metro area. Chicago is a cold hearted place, and the suburbs are like small towns, lots of pettiness. I probably need a cabin in the woods at this point.

[Shadoewolf]

I HATED small town life. Town of 13,000 in Arkansas, 3-3.5 hours from anything resembling a city. Everyone knew everything about everyone. The medical care and schools were a disgrace.

We now live in a suburb northeast of Detroit and I'm much happier. I love have theaters, sports teams, water parks, laser tag, etc.  right at my fingertips. Hubby just got a new job which is going to land us closer to Ann Arbor (my Michigan fangirl heart is thrilled) but we're looking at houses about 15 miles from the city itself because it being a college town it's just too crowded. 

[church_of_dog]

I do like the anonymity of a big city, but I dislike everything else about being in a city, or actually a town of any size.  In fact, I live in a town of 500 right now, and... ...it's too crowded for me.  I'll end up in a remote cabin as soon as I can arrange it. 

[TeaELSee]

1 hour ago, SilverBeach said:

To each her own. I grew up in Chicago and still live in the metro area. Chicago is a cold hearted place, and the suburbs are like small towns, lots of pettiness. I probably need a cabin in the woods at this point.

I live in a western suburb of Chicago. Maybe I’m just lucky but no drama or pettiness around me. Nice neighbors, we all pretty much keep to ourselves.  I love going into the city and have considered retiring there. 

I also lived in a small town of 4K for 7 years. That was quite a culture shock. I did not care for the lack of privacy.

 

 

[zee_four]

51 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

To each her own. I grew up in Chicago and still live in the metro area. Chicago is a cold hearted place, and the suburbs are like small towns, lots of pettiness. I probably need a cabin in the woods at this point.

Ha ha my boyfriend is the ultimate mountain man. He thought our small former mining now one of multiple bedroom towns for a ski area if 1,000 was too crowded and bought like 2p acres 3 hours NW near Utah/Wyoming and has been working all summer  (well on his weekends) building a cabin by hand. 

 

I grew up in said area when it was about a 1/4 of the size and have nothing but happy memories until I was a teen. I struggled hard with mental illness which led to addiction that I mostly covered up. I had a lot of potential I bombed academically, athletically and potential career wise but squeaked by. I was the perky special needs preschool and adaptive ski school instructor everyone knew and in a town of mostly men not to sound narcissistic but was pretty well loved. Finally my mistakes compounded in a huge legal mess that happened because of small town corruption mixed with resort town money.

I had been the victim of a brutal rape and assault after I was roofied at a bar. I started talking when the cops didnt do shit and I learned our high level hospital the only in the county didnt provide rape kits and silently kicked you out sans treatment with no assistance to go 60  away to the closest hospital that does. I got louder and nastier when the paper and everyone else silenced me. Instead i got charged with a major crime I wasn't guilty of multiple high felonies saying I was a major drug dealer selling killer product  when i was only guilty of being an addict who saw a friend last before he died (of multiple drug intoxication due to long term drug abuse but the cops lied and said he ODed off one killer drug. I saw him to drop off a pair of pants for a job interview i got him the next day i didnt see him use drugs and he died lomg after i left i didnt even go inside his apartment) My local paper printed so many articles about me the AP picked it up and in one morning I lost 99% of my "friends" i started getting death threats that go on 5 years later, i lost all my jobs and was turned away from every job i later applied to solely because of the press. My uncle hasnt spoken to me since even when i worked 100 yards down the hall in the same building as his office all because he was afraid of people judging him for being my family. Its a big reason i stayed with my abusive boyfriend then fiance and father of my son because i thought i was unlovable and its one of the main reasons he dumped me a week before our wedding because he was told as my husband he'd lose his jobs and other horrible things people would accuse him of. Its why when he broke my arm he said I wouldnt call the cops because the small town corrupt cops (well he just said cops) would arrest me not him and i knew he was right

I went back to the city a few years back to help my mom and go back to school and get my life together. I hated it even more in some ways despite everything i went through. It was so crowded, i didnt know anyone. I was so lonely. I still had a small group of good friends back home. In the city i was so anonymous which i thought i wanted but at heart before all the BS i never liked.

 

Theres pros and cons of both and it comes down to your personality that determines your preference  IMO.

[CarrotCake]

9 hours ago, Shadoewolf said:

I HATED small town life. Town of 13,000 in Arkansas, 3-3.5 hours from anything resembling a city. Everyone knew everything about everyone. The medical care and schools were a disgrace.

I always love reading these things.

You could get from anywhere in our country to any other place in the country within 4 hours. 

Athough I would not consider 13.000 people a small town here, being 3h away from anything is so weird to me. When Americans ask me if I am from near Amsterdam I always 'yes, its only an hour away'. If Europeans ask me if I am from near Amsterdam I say: 'No, I live in the South' 

[SapphireSlytherin]

10 hours ago, Shadoewolf said:

Town of 13,000 in Arkansas, 3-3.5 hours from anything resembling a city.

El Dorado? De Queen? lol  

[Shadoewolf]

Mountain Home. 

[MargaretElliott]

I'm moving to the big city from a small town in two months () and I'm mostly excited to be able to walk to all different places. I'm a cocktail snob, and if I want to go out for a drink where I live now, I have to drive- therefore, no cocktails for me! Also, living in walking distance from a grocery store? To museums? Public transportation? All different kinds of restaurants? So excited. Sure, there are downsides, but I also lived in the kind of town where the neighbor would tell my mother if I was at the park with a boy, so it'll be a nice change.

I'm also moving in with my SO to live in sin, so significantly not Duggar-approved. However, I am grateful for the fact that I can move out of my parent's house to live with a man to see if we're actually compatible as housemates, instead of just being committed forever after less than a year of dating. They really set these kids up for failure by not allowing them any independence until marriage.

[SapphireSlytherin]

I love Mountain Home. So beautiful. Too bad about the shit people there, though!

[Rachel333]

I know several people from Mountain Home, and that description matches what I've heard of it before!