Family Living on Purpose (FLOP?): Erika Shupe pt. 10

[formergothardite]

16 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

So, hang on. If they haven't changed their views on public schools, why are 7 of the kids at one? Even though they've had financial difficulties in the past they still kept them at home, so what the hell happened to force them to send their kids to a public school? I just don't get it.

I wish someone would ask this exact question. Either they changed their views or they are putting their children's eternal life at stake and setting them up to suffer later in life. Refusing to admit she has changed her views just makes her look like a shitty parent. Basically she is saying she still believes public school is of Satan and will ruin her children's lives, but she is sending them here anyway. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

27 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Basically she is saying she still believes public school is of Satan and will ruin her children's lives, but she is sending them here anyway. 

I completely agree and it makes me wonder...could the kids being in public school somehow not be Erika or Bob's choice? I don't know how that could be but It's the only way what they are saying makes sense. 

[Anonymousguest]

2 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I completely agree and it makes me wonder...could the kids being in public school somehow not be Erika or Bob's choice? I don't know how that could be but It's the only way what they are saying makes sense. 

That is what I believe. That it is not their choice to send the kids to school. 

[VaSportsMom]

I completely agree and it makes me wonder...could the kids being in public school somehow not be Erika or Bob's choice? I don't know how that could be but It's the only way what they are saying makes sense. 

It seems obvious that this isn't their choice but I'm struggling to come up with a scenario that would explain how that could be. Do either of them come from a family with money? Is it possible that they are having financial difficulties and family is making properly educating the kids a condition of receiving assistance? Could CPS be forcing their hand by limiting or restricting the amount of time Erika is allowed to spend alone with the youngest kids for some reason?

[formergothardite]

It is so odd because they don't seem to want to put their kids in public school, but I can't think of what would have forced them to do that against their will. If it were finances why isn't Erika working? If it was CPS why is she still allowed to homeschool one child? None of this makes sense and I would love to know the real story. 

[Coy Koi]

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

If it was CPS why is she still allowed to homeschool one child? None of this makes sense and I would love to know the real story. 

I can't think what else it could be other than CPS, but I'm not sure if CPS could even require them to put the kids in school, since Erika seemed to be following the state regulations for homeschooling. Maybe they could anyway though, I just don't know. But as for still being able to homeschool Melanie but not the others, that part doesn't seem surprising to me. School is only compulsory in Washington until age 16, and CPS would give older teens more say in their situation anyway. As badly as poor Melanie wants to get out of the house more (according to her G+ post), I can definitely understand why she wouldn't want to go to school for the first time ever in her senior year and I think that would be a cruel thing to force on someone.

But yeah, Erika either needs to share some actual info or accept that her blogging days are over, because this is just stupid.

[Koala]

Wasn't it rumored that the Shupes were visited by CPS?  When did that happen in relation the "we're completely changing our lives, but our beliefs haven't changed one little bit" debacle of 2016?

Even if they were forced to put them in school, they weren't forced to allow pants instead of skirts,  a job & driving for Karen, and a giant ass tv for all.  Something had to have happened.
I also seem to remember that Erika was taking a lot of solo trips to her parents- to pamper herself, I guess?

Melanie's Google (quoted here) was so sad.  It sounds like Erika's style of parenting has been really detrimental to her.

How Erika has the gall to totally switch gears, and go into "Expert School Mom" mode, I can't imagine. It might actually be time for her to learn from others who've had more successful outcomes.

 

 

 

 

[mango_fandango]

Oh what it would be to be a fly on the wall in that house, and to have been for the past year or so.... *sigh*

[December]

13 hours ago, usmcmom said:

This was all in response to the commenter saying Erika owed her readers an explanation considering how strongly she felt about public school and how harshly she preached against it. 

It's so weird if they didn't anticipate they'd get questions about it, especially as they continue to blog about their lives. (It'd be another story if they'd just shut down LFOP and stopped blogging entirely.) They sure don't owe anyone an explanation, but surely they must understand why people would be curious at their 180s on various topics? 

[Shiny]

I really don't think CPS would be the reason for sending them to school. At least, it's not CPS forcing them. If they took the kids away, sure. But aside from extreme educational neglect I just don't see it happening. 

[Lurky]

What worries me is if they're all "Our views haven't changed AT ALL", then what are they telling the kids about their schools?  I really, really hope they're putting on a front for the kids that school is a good thing, and important, because it's damaging for kids when parents don't support their education, but I can't even imagine what it would be like to have parents who are actively against your schooling.

I've said before that I've wondered how they explained it to the kids, but I assumed they'd at least tried to put a positive spin on it. I can't even imagine how weird the younger kids' life must be.  And wow, if they're not hiding the fact their views haven't changed etc but they're doing it anyway, how mad that must feel to the older girls.

[Eternalbluepearl]

I remember the Shupes calling them "government schools" and being so negative while at the same time, utilizing school playgrounds for family fun and recommending blog readers do the same. The trying to have it both ways was obnoxious then and continues today with the yes, we send 7 of our kids to school but we still don't like them. It's confusing, complex thoughts only Erika and Bob understand. 

 

[Howl]

I'd assume that many of the kids that go to their church are in public school, so maybe the kids have some church friends at school.  At least, I really hope so.  If there are fellow congregants who use public schools, the transition for the kids would have been easier.  I can't imagine the blow back if their church is home school only.  One nice aspect of PS for the kids is (ironically) probably more exercise on a daily basis because they get recess or P.E.

For those who have left fundy-dom, are most fundy churches a mix of home school and PS?  

Does anyone remember Erika and Bob's church?  I'd be interested in checking out their Web page. 

[mango_fandango]

They've said that sending their kids to public school has been a very good decision for their family. Which is even more confusing!! 

They go to Spring Creek Bible Church in Bellingham, WA.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Has anyone considered that maybe one or two of her kids have special learning needs that Erika couldn't accommodate? I don't follow the Shupes much but that is one thing that came to my mind as a possibility. And if it's true, I would be saddened at the thought of Erika making it clear in the family that they still don't approve of PS and that child would blame themselves for having a special learning need. 

[formergothardite]

If they really think public school is going to ruin their children's lives and is a tool of Satan, would a learning disability be enough for them to send them there? 

Perhaps they(or at least Bob) changed their minds but just don't want to admit it. I don't get the impression Erika is happy about it and maybe she still disapproves. They wouldn't be the first fundies to change their opinion on something but refuse to admit it. Remember when Kristina started wearing pants she claimed she hadn't changed her opinion on pants, despite all her posts condemning pants as being sinful. This could be a situation like that. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I actually have come across a lot of people who think public school is horrible but they send their kids because they don't have much of a choice. Like financial reasons. I can see the Shupes being like that. They probably have made something up in their head as to why they now must put their kids in school and try to make the best of it. It honestly doesn't seem all that weird to me that they still don't approve of PS. She as demonized it for so long it will probably take a few years for her to see PS differently. 

[Howl]

I'm not a psychologist and don't play one on TV, but my money's on Erika going around the bend with OCD and putting the kids in PS was the only option at that point for her getting better.  That's my idle speculation.  But darnit, I wanna know the actual reason! 

I do sincerely hope that the kids have adapted well to PS, and I hope they'll continue next year, but summer is just around the corner, and all the kids will be at home, 24/7. 

 

[elliha]

If Erika's mental health was bad enough public school might have been a must for her to recover. She has indeed been under stress miscarriage of a wanted baby, CPS visit (for an OCD-type person like Erika this must be an even bigger nightmare than for the average person), struggling in homeschooling, possibly menopause and likely some kind of conflict with Karen for more freedom. There was a point where Bob and Karen looked miserable and all of a sudden they looked happy and after this all the change happened so it is almost as they "won". Melanie sounds unhappy but she also sounds more religiously inclined than Karen so perhaps the changes haven't been a "win" for her as much. She might have wanted to stay in homeschooling but not also lose Karen's and the younger kids company. 

[lauraloralara]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Has anyone considered that maybe one or two of her kids have special learning needs that Erika couldn't accommodate? I don't follow the Shupes much but that is one thing that came to my mind as a possibility. And if it's true, I would be saddened at the thought of Erika making it clear in the family that they still don't approve of PS and that child would blame themselves for having a special learning need. 

It has been speculated on FJ that one of the children has an LD or that one of them is special needs. Erika or Bob (can't remember which) spoke definitively on the topic in the FLOP FB group. Not sure how much else I can say about it - I'm on my phone so it's hard to go look up what we can and can't report from private FB groups. 

Here's my take on the whole thing. I think there has been a seismic shift in the Shupe household. I would totally be on board with their being forced into public schooling except for a few things. We know the blog was pretty much scrubbed on hyper-religious commentary (by "we know" I mean "if I recall correctly," so please correct me if I'm misremembering). That's the big thing for me. I mean, they still go to the same church as far as we know, but Erika's super devotion was part of her brand. This leads me to the next thing: they are no longer skirts-only. Now, I would think that this was just something they were doing to help the kids fit in better in public school, but we have seen pictures recently of the girls in pants, and not just the older girls. As to what has changed their minds, who knows. I personally think Erika is way too stubborn to admit that she was wrong or that she has changed her mind from her previously draconian self-inflicted rules, and she thinks she can just get by without explaining anything. 

Excuse any typos, for some reason autocorrect is being extra nasty for me right now. 

[elliha]

15 minutes ago, lauraloralara said:

It has been speculated on FJ that one of the children has an LD or that one of them is special needs. Erika or Bob (can't remember which) spoke definitively on the topic in the FLOP FB group. Not sure how much else I can say about it - I'm on my phone so it's hard to go look up what we can and can't report from private FB groups. 

Here's my take on the whole thing. I think there has been a seismic shift in the Shupe household. I would totally be on board with their being forced into public schooling except for a few things. We know the blog was pretty much scrubbed on hyper-religious commentary (by "we know" I mean "if I recall correctly," so please correct me if I'm misremembering). That's the big thing for me. I mean, they still go to the same church as far as we know, but Erika's super devotion was part of her brand. This leads me to the next thing: they are no longer skirts-only. Now, I would think that this was just something they were doing to help the kids fit in better in public school, but we have seen pictures recently of the girls in pants, and not just the older girls. As to what has changed their minds, who knows. I personally think Erika is way too stubborn to admit that she was wrong or that she has changed her mind from her previously draconian self-inflicted rules, and she thinks she can just get by without explaining anything. 

Excuse any typos, for some reason autocorrect is being extra nasty for me right now. 

The blog was definitely scrubbed. Erika is my gateway fundie so I have have pretty much read everything she has ever posted on the old and the new blog.

[usmcmom]

So, is Karen the oldest?  I hope I have the names correct. 

Karen likely goes  to work all day, or even part of the day. Perhaps she takes some classes too. The seven younger kids go to school.  That leaves Melanie home alone all day with Erika?  That breaks my heart for her. 

Now that it is May, perhaps Melanie will graduate soon and see the light at the end of the tunnel. With that Google account post that was shared earlier, I think Melanie might move out as quickly as possible and Erika will very rarely see her after that  

On another note, each time a question is posted on the FLOP page, Erika rarely answers. It becomes a discussion amongst the members. Bob seems to chime in more than Erika. 

Regarding the questions people post - geesh - they seem so strange to me. 

"We are so cramped in a 12-passenger van we want to rent for vacation and have no room for luggage. Should we spend the extra $80 upcharge to rent the 15-passenger van?" 

"How do I implement a chore system for my theee children?" 

"We don't believe in spanking. How else can we quickly and effectively discipline our children?"

I mean, come on!!  Are these really questions that require input from 75 strangers?? It reminds me of the time a young mother posted on Facebook "Friends, we need help! What kind of snippy cup should we invest in for our one-year-old?"  

Does anybody raise their kids without going to social media for advice??? 

[mango_fandango]

The blog was absolutely scrubbed. I was the one who realised 

[Howl]

3 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

They go to Spring Creek Bible Church in Bellingham, WA.

Their Web site appears to be pretty much mainstream strict fundy.  How many of these names from their recommended reading list do you recognize?

• John Piper
• Wayne Grudem
• R.C. Sproul
• John MacArthur
• C.J. Mahaney
• Charles Spurgeon
• Mark Dever
• Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort

What I find interesting about the web site for this church is an expectation that congregants will be actively reading from  their extensive list and also completing an Education Plan.  

I can't find it now, but somewhere on the Spring Creek Bible Church Web site, the bible is described as both "winsome" and "radical".  I move that we add "winsome" to the list of fundy buzzwords, also used by Doug Wilson.  The Bible is a lot of things, but winsome is NOT one of the them. 

[Anonymousguest]

It looks like Karen now has Facebook. Trying to stick to the no speculation rule, she has a photo (posted publicly) that, based on my own experience, I find disturbing and sad. 

But I'll admit, it's likely my own experiences are influencing how I feel about it, and what I think it means.