Peter Bradrick files for Divorce

[RosyDaisy]

Oh Baucham is far, far, worse than the Pearls! Voddie himself bashes the Pearls for falling short in their discipline. Where the Pearls believe in the sin nature, Baucham believes in the reformed theology of total depravity. He believes children are evil and must be controlled and punished. The Pearls believe kid misbehave because they haven't been trained to behave properly. Voddie believes they misbehave because they are inherently evil. Search "vipers in diapers" to get a taste of his child rearing theology. Honestly, when he first adopted I was amazed that they passed the home study. I can't believe so many people have given him children. Shows the desperation of the need for African American adoptive families maybe.

Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”  Christ's own words, Voddie! And it means nothing to you! You're evil...just evil!!!!

[ChunkyBarbie]

1 hour ago, hoipolloi said:

She was working at the HSLDA.

Doug Phillips Is a Tool also worked there before he & Be-all ripped off HSLDA's mailing list, moved to San Antone, and got Jim Leininger to bankroll VFI/VFM.  Don't know if they overlapped at HSLDA.

Thank you.  As always I am amazed by the members here, their knowledge and generosity in sharing it. 

[Georgiana]

WA does not recognize covenant marriage. So even if Jill Duggar Dillard and her extra-covenant marriage got divorced under WA jurisdiction, they would be treated the same as all the other heathens with just regular marriages. Everybody gets the same marriage and the same divorce in WA.

I hope Kelly gets a lawyer. Even east of the mountains, judges in WA are very committed to making sure women who have contributed to the marriage estate by staying home are compensated accordingly.  Now, they aren't crazy about ongoing spousal support, but the court will see she and the children are protected. 

I also hope she stays in WA. More West of the mountains than east, but we have great resources for displaced homemakers.  Kelly would qualify for discount or free tuition at local community colleges. 

Not to knock NC because the Carolinas are on my bucket list to visit, but I think that WA has a lot to offer her in terms of better support and a chance at her OWN life away from her parents. 

[princessmahina]

39 minutes ago, Anonymousguest said:

Oh Baucham is far, far, worse than the Pearls! Voddie himself bashes the Pearls for falling short in their discipline. Where the Pearls believe in the sin nature, Baucham believes in the reformed theology of total depravity. He believes children are evil and must be controlled and punished. The Pearls believe kid misbehave because they haven't been trained to behave properly. Voddie believes they misbehave because they are inherently evil. Search "vipers in diapers" to get a taste of his child rearing theology. Honestly, when he first adopted I was amazed that they passed the home study. I can't believe so many people have given him children. Shows the desperation of the need for African American adoptive families maybe.

I searched "viper in a diaper." Horrifying. 

For anyone who wants to know more about this, I found this particular article/post to be really good (albeit quite long): https://homeschoolersanonymous.org/2015/01/16/the-child-as-viper-how-voddie-bauchams-theology-of-children-promotes-abuse/

[CyborgKin]

17 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Thanks for taking one for the team.  I bet it doesn't prepare men for real life in most ways - let alone failed marriage!

It wasn't my idea, and I didn't have any real choice in the matter.  Anyhow, most of it was pretty general.

Here's my notes for the first couple of sessions.  (The remaining 6 are still only on paper.)

Spoiler

#1. Time Management

Time is precious and important to God, ours is short.  Galatians 4:4, Psalm 39:5-6, Psalm 90:4

All time should be used to glorify God.  We should acqure and declare wisdom, exhort one another.  Hebrews 3:12-13, Psalm 90:12

The concept of 'me time' is wrong.  We cannot spend time any way we want.  We are slaves and prisoners of God.  We should declare the generosity of God giving us time. Exodus 20:9-19.  God wants to control everything you do absolutely.

The dominion mandate.  Producivity is part of Godly culture.  Titus 2:14, John 15:16, 8 about bearing fruit.

We should sow bountifully to reap bountifully. 2 Cor 9:16

The gospel is linked to time management.  Someone who calls themself a Christian but does not have fruit is not a Christian.  The gospel is fruit-bearing.  Jesus always did things well and never wasted a second. John 5:17 His perfect use of time is laid on us.

Planning is a godly virtue but there are some dangers.  James 4:13-17  Obsession and boasting over our plans is evil.  Proverbs 27:1, Luke 12:20.  We can fail to recongise God's sovereinty to change our direction.  we might miss that God is better at planning than us.

Ephesians 5:14-15. Redeeming the time is buying up time for Godly purposes.  Time in this sense is seaons of life, not seconds and minutes.  E.g. "the time you had cancer".  Esther 4:14 such a time as this.  Ask "what unredeemed time to I have available?".

Proverbs 24:30-34 sluggard

Proverbs 6:9-11 love for sleep, lack of love for getting things done.

The natural rhythms of life were designed for man by God. Psalm 143:8, Mark 1:35

##List of ways to use time well

1. Get good sleep every night
2. Make lists
3. Set goals
4. Plan every hour before the day starts
5. Allocate time for activities
6. Use unallocated moments of time as they happen - carry a book
7. Prepare for projects ahead of time - months
8. Keep routines, keep focus
9. Prioritise - you can't do everything
10. Evaluate how you're doing - ponder progress, effect, result
11. Plan each day the day before
12. Control interruptions - don't have to deal with them immediately
13. Take a few minuts for prayer and thought before important conversations
14. Leverage: 20% of activity leads to 80% of results so determine what the critical things are, know what is important vs. what is merely urgent

##Getting a fast start: snap out of bed knowing where you are going

1. Plan before bed to have a vision for why you are getting up, who you are, how you will glorify God.
2. Put your feet on the floor immediately. Delay is death.
3. Make your soul happy - meet God
4. Wash/shave
5. Drink water, exercise
6. Do the most undesireable project in the first 90 minutes, you'll feel so much better

90 minute segments work well

Habits create your life

Know which things matter!

Yes, you can be too picky about time use.  But being particular about time use is very important because Romans 14:10-12

God promises our times are in His hands Ecc 3:1-13

Time is an unusual resource: it's unrenewable and we don't know how much we have.

#2. Investing

Americans don't save or invest much.

Proverbs 2:20, Matt 25:14-30

Don't use all your resources immediately.

Interest - rate of return

Time value of money

Level of risk vs. reward.  too good to be true = scam

risk tolerance and risk recovery.  Eggs not all in one basket.

3 kinds of spending: appreciating assets, depreciating assets, consumables.  Don't go into debt for consumables.

A car is not a monetary investment but a divestment.  (Though it is a tool.)

Didn't take a lot of notes for this one as it was mostly pretty standard stuff about saving and investing and types of investments and whatnot.  Surprisingly, Scott didn't mention the morality of what sorts of things to invest in at all.  Nor did he articulate how to determine what level of investment risk is appropriate for you.
 

I'm also 2 sessions into a longer course called Kickstart, the beginning of which stars Kevin Swanson, who talks way too fast but repeats himself a lot,  and as usual absolutely cannot keep still.  (My first exposure to Swanson was in person (along with Scottie) and he pretty much marched back and forth across the stage the whole time.)  Those notes I'm typing out directly (adding the assignment tasks from the workbook) so they'll be easier to share 'if anyone is interested'.

14 hours ago, ophelia said:

@Palimpsest I'd love to see an HONEST "where are they now - 10 years later." That would be worth watching.

I was thinking exactly the same thing!

[ophelia]

15 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Ah, yes. Found it!  Jasmine married Phillip Holmes (Desiringgod.org) who was previously Voddie's executive assistant.  Jasmine has written a book, taught 5th grade at a Christian school and has a baby boy.  (Thanks @ophelia)

I cannot stand Voddie Baucham.  He is definitely right up there with the Pearls and is now polluting Zambia with his faux Christianity.

He visited germany a few months back and did some sermons and workshops at an evangelical church in Hamburg. Although I don't think he showed just how fundie he is. He was probably just needing the money.

14 hours ago, Mrs. Bean said:

An author of  no longer updated blog called Diary of an Autodidact http://fiddlrts.blogspot.com/2014/02/my-john-thompson-story.html?m=1 credits John Thompson as a co-creator of "the most extreme version of courtship/betrothal" model. He describes how he almost got "betrothed" to one of the daughters  by accident. 

That was an interesting read, thank you.

And can "accidentally betrothed" pleeeeaaaassseeee be a post title??? that would be amazing!

3 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

She was working at the HSLDA.

Doug Phillips Is a Tool also worked there before he & Be-all ripped off HSLDA's mailing list, moved to San Antone, and got Jim Leininger to bankroll VFI/VFM.  Don't know if they overlapped at HSLDA.

Could someone please give me more information on this?

[nelliebelle1197]

21 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

When you watch Return of the Daughters note how much of it is male talking heads.  I really think they should do a follow-up "Where are They Now - 10 years later."    

Let's see (and if anyone can fill in the details, thanks):  

E and A.S. still withering on the vine serving their father.  From choice, because no man has come up to their father's strict standards, or because they are so imprinted on Daddy that no man is good enough for them. 

Katie Valenti married Phillip Bradrick.  Kids?

Melissa Keen married Justin Turley. Still sanctimonious and four kids and counting.

Jasmine Baucham married someone.  Kids?  (And Voddie has doubled in weight.)

Lourdes Torres.  Well we all know what happened there.  Lourdes is now in college.  Go Lourdes!

And Kelly Brown Bradrick.  Six kids and on the brink of divorce.

I wish IngridGrace still blogged.  I always think she nailed Kelly's situation.  A blast from the past: 

http://ingridgraceandaudrey.blogspot.com/2012/06/portrait-of-lady.html

Are Lourdes and Nolan still married? Nolan and I used to chat on Facebook  but I am so far behind and neglectful of my fundies.

19 hours ago, Mrs. Bean said:

An author of  no longer updated blog called Diary of an Autodidact http://fiddlrts.blogspot.com/2014/02/my-john-thompson-story.html?m=1 credits John Thompson as a co-creator of "the most extreme version of courtship/betrothal" model. He describes how he almost got "betrothed" to one of the daughters  by accident. 

I remember this blog. I wonder why it stopped? It seemed to be great therapy for the author.

[gustava]

22 hours ago, Destiny said:

I wonder if we will ever find out the real reason behind the divorce? I think she was tired of Sippy Cup's ears. Imagine waking up to that every damn day? That would give you nightmares.

  Definitely a reason his nickname is Sippy Cup! 

[Palimpsest]

1 hour ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Are Lourdes and Nolan still married? Nolan and I used to chat on Facebook  but I am so far behind and neglectful of my fundies.

No.  They divorced about 18 months ago.  It was not a good match.  They both seem to be doing better apart.  

[smittykins]

@ophelia, here's where you can suggest post count titles(be sure to reference this thread):

 

[Leftitinmysnood]

1 hour ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

 

I remember this blog. I wonder why it stopped? It seemed to be great therapy for the author.

He still writes, but it's mostly book reviews. I think a lot of the formerly fundie blogs have petered out because they are moving on with life, which is  the point of therapy, after all.

[Loveday]

11 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

      I'm trying to keep up here, I watched the Spinster Sister's video last night from my hotel room where I was taking my eldest daughter on a college visit. 

Maybe there is a kind and merciful God looking out for those Botkin  girls because they seem completely oblivious to what they missed out on. I am truly excited and happy for my daughter. There are so many opportunities out there and she is aware of it. She can create her own major- the world is her oyster! Exciting times......that video seemed extra depressing given the circumstances.

      I may or may not make any sense. The drive home was long and stressful, and I think it turned some of my hair gray. My first gray hairs! Is that possible to get gray hair in a day? I need sleep. Good night FJ. 

The experts generally say not, but I don't believe it. I know I see one sometimes that I SWEAR was not there the day before.  

[fundiefan]

13 hours ago, ChunkyBarbie said:

King College, where she earned a BA in English. I am not familiar with King College, but I will guess it is a Christian college. ETA of course, attending college is evil for other young ladies, but I guess Jennie was an extra speshul pure snowflake and so it was okay for her.  Unless she was like Anna T., who was very resentful that she was attending college when she could have been home folding towels, crocheting doilies and making lentil soup. Smh. 

OMG I hadn't thought of Anna T for so long, this is like a flashback.

She's always been such a delicate flower and life is so hard for her...blah, blah, blah. She made my gut turn so often it was shocking. Her constant attempts to incorporate American Fundie-ness into her perfectly perfect Jewish life was something to behold. She loved to insinuate the Jewish women around her were doing life wrong and she, this enlightened, speshul snowflake, was being persecuted for her special form of Jewishness.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Has she fallen dead yet from the daily stress of living?

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Reading the Voddie B and child beating article PrincessMahina linked to above I find he believes you can beat a child up through the age of 20 or 21.

Thus I think it's entirely possible he literally beat out of his daughter her ambition to go to college in NY and be a screenwriter.

[Lurky]

Those quotes from Bauchum are just chilling - really frightening, and I pity his poor children.  I really hope when he's spending time in Africa, they're home, away from his evil influence

[Gobsmacked]

13 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

      I'm trying to keep up here, I watched the Spinster Sister's video last night from my hotel room where I was taking my eldest daughter on a college visit. 

Maybe there is a kind and merciful God looking out for those Botkin  girls because they seem completely oblivious to what they missed out on. I am truly excited and happy for my daughter. There are so many opportunities out there and she is aware of it. She can create her own major- the world is her oyster! Exciting times......that video seemed extra depressing given the circumstances.

      I may or may not make any sense. The drive home was long and stressful, and I think it turned some of my hair gray. My first gray hairs! Is that possible to get gray hair in a day? I need sleep. Good night FJ. 

Hope your daughter finds  a college  she likes and settles in well.

My son is doing the same thing at present. Not an easy thing for him as he has major anxiety issues.

My hair is developing glitter! Grey hair is defunct! We ladies of a certain age have glitter!!

[Howl]

17 hours ago, Othello said:

Also came out of lurkage to comment—heard that this was happening some weeks ago, but didn't know many specifics. Bradrick! spent many years of his life being an unmitigated asshole to a lot of people, including myself and a lot of other young men who came through his church. Completely crushed my sense of self (what little I had of it as a homeschooled, cloistered teen) and set me back years in the process of finding myself and developing any sort of confidence and identity. Calling out Doug and his open apology for the aforementioned assholery notwithstanding, it's not hard to feel a bit of schadenfreude. Fuck him, at least the Peter I knew, and his ilk. That said, I feel a lot of sympathy for Kelly. From what I understand, it's most likely that they filed together, as she has more reason to leave than he does; rumor has it there was some serious fuckery going on, which I won't disclose, especially as I have a very vague picture of what was going on. Best of luck to Kelly and the kids, and I hope they find their feet quickly; maybe there's a way outsiders can help out somehow. Perhaps Bradrick can find a way to redeem himself down the road, who knows. 

[ETA the apology I mention above was the open letter he posted to facebook acknowledging that he'd been arrogant and mean, not an apology to me or anyone specific that I'm aware of]

Thanks for sharing this first-hand account, and so sad that you had to suffer as a teen.  Glad you found your way through to the other side. 

 

[MamaJunebug]

16 hours ago, ChunkyBarbie said:

King College, where she earned a BA in English. I am not familiar with King College, but I will guess it is a Christian college. ETA of course, attending college is evil for other young ladies, but I guess Jennie was an extra speshul pure snowflake and so it was okay for her.  Unless she was like Anna T., who was very resentful that she was attending college when she could have been home folding towels, crocheting doilies and making lentil soup. Smh. 

As I recall, @ChunkyBarbie (love the handle!), the same was true of Jennie. She saw no reason to further her e-----ion, but her father -- whom she properly and totally idolized -- insisted and so off she went. 

IIRC she was around 26 and Matt "The Massa" Chancey was maybe 22 when they wed. Just imagine if they'd started any earlier!  I believe they now have 11 children. Think how many it would be.... 

[Palimpsest]

16 hours ago, ChunkyBarbie said:

King College, where she earned a BA in English. I am not familiar with King College, but I will guess it is a Christian college. ETA of course, attending college is evil for other young ladies, but I guess Jennie was an extra speshul pure snowflake and so it was okay for her.

I have a vague memory of a poster here saying that she knew Jennie in college and Jennie was quite normal.  Anyone else remember that?  Jenny was conservative but lived in the dorms and was quite social.  

Then she decided to shit on college educations for every young woman who came after her.  Hypocrisy thy name is Jennie Chancey.

Are the Chanceys still polluting Africa with their presence too?

[ChunkyBarbie]

4 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Has she fallen dead yet from the daily stress of living?

Anna T is still alive and easily overwhelmed. She has three children now. Having two humbled her somewhat, she admitted at least once that it wasn't as easy being a mother as she had once thought. She has written a book, The Holistic Health Pocketbook by Anna Twitto. I haven't read it. Other than that, she is still the same Anna, older and maybe a tad wiser, but still a judgmental fundie and delicate flower at heart. 

ETA I see Anna has written three books all available on Amazon.

ETA Anna T and Jennie Chancey were my gateway fundies. 

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

Are the Chanceys still polluting Africa with their presence too?

I would love to know too. I'll have to do some digging. I don't think she has "published" anything on LAF since 2015. 

[ChunkyBarbie]

I found where Jennie writes about meeting/courting Matt. http://biblicalexaminer.org/cc/MatJennieCourtship.html 

She was a junior with the highest of standards that humbled mere mortals.

[ChunkyBarbie]

Found Jennie now @Palimpsest, she is 44, pregnant with #12, I think and has cut her hair short. I think she is still in Africa. Not sure at all, just guessing.  I'll keep digging. http://sensibility.com/blog/blog/retro-maternity-style/

[ChunkyBarbie]

@Palimpsest, yes, as of December they were still living in Africa. 

[Palimpsest]

6 minutes ago, ChunkyBarbie said:

Found Jennie now @Palimpsest, she is 44, pregnant with #12, I think and has cut her hair short. I think she is still in Africa. Not sure at all, just guessing.  I'll keep digging. http://sensibility.com/blog/blog/retro-maternity-style/

Thanks!  I was going down another track and found Matt.  They moved from Kenya (visa problems) to Capetown, S. Africa a couple of years ago.  He is running an off-shoot of the Persecution Project:  Building Kids, Inc.  Apparently this means redistributing donated Lego to the masses.  Nice work if you can get it.

Jennie was wafting around the UK and visiting York and Bath in 2015 or 2016.  Also hard at work!

[ChunkyBarbie]

1 minute ago, Palimpsest said:

Thanks!  I was going down another track and found Matt.  They moved from Kenya (visa problems) to Capetown, S. Africa a couple of years ago.  He is running an off-shoot of the Persecution Project:  Building Kids, Inc.  Apparently this means redistributing donated Lego to the masses.  Nice work if you can get it.

Jennie was wafting around the UK and visiting York and Bath in 2015 or 2016.  Also hard at work!

I saw that she was given a maternity pattern while in the U.K.  It must be nice to be able to travel wherever and whenever.