Peter Bradrick files for Divorce

[DancingPhalanges]

@PopRox I'm so sorry. Do you have a support network, friends/family? Please talk to someone. Being terrified and vulnerable is understandable. Think about making a plan as a first step. Talk to a trusted person about what's happening. The first step is the hardest but you can do it. Verbal abuse and threats of physical abuse are not okay under any circumstance, it's emotional terrorism.{{hugs}} 

[ChunkyBarbie]

@PopRox big soft hugs. I hope you can be free and happy soon. 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@PopRox, I don't know exactly how bad (or not bad) things are for you right now, but here's some useful information for anyone in a bad domestic situation. If this is more than you need, I'm glad. You could always make a plan for leaving, even if things aren't at a dangerous point.

Spoiler

Packing a few things and finding out phone numbers where you could get help in your area if you need it would be a big help if you needed to leave in a hurry. Best hopes and wishes for you!

(Just as an FYI, I don't carry this card because I'm in a bad domestic situation, but so that I can give it to anyone I meet who might need it. It's called a "shoe card", because a person can hide it in her/his shoe if they need to. The other side of the card has useful phone numbers for my area.)

[ladyamylynn]

@PopRox

Sending positive thoughts your way. Nobody should have to live like that.

[Grimalkin]

6 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

The very idea of family cloth gives me nightmares!

 

Family cloth makes me think of cloth napkins, and the napkin rings I salvaged from my mom's house engraved with the names of family members I never heard of. I guess they all kept their cloth napkin for a week before washing day and used the rings to identify the owner, or they each had their own way of tieing their napkin. A much nicer idea. Even the Nauglers use tp.

Oh @PopRox! Don't worry about derailing a thing! I found talking to anonymous FJ strangers very comforting around this time last year. It was a sensitive subject. I think this ties into the stuff we discuss on FJ perfectly. I will keep you in my thoughts.

[older than allosaurs]

12 minutes ago, Grimalkin said:

Family cloth makes me think of cloth napkins, and the napkin rings I salvaged from my mom's house engraved with the names of family members I never heard of. I guess they all kept their cloth napkin for a week before washing day and used the rings to identify the owner, or they each had their own way of tieing their napkin.

 

That's what we did growing up. I still use cloth napkins but I forgot about the napkin rings. I bet I still have them somewhere....

Poprox,

I wish you strength and clarity, and support.  It took me way too long to realize things were only going to get worse in my first marriage. Emotional abuse chewed away at my self-image until I kind of forgot I actually could look after myself. It took time to get solidly on my feet, but life is so much better now.

[Granwych]

10 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

ROTF laughing and burping (broccoli does that to me, but I devour it anyway!

Brings back memories of caring for people with colostomy bags...broccoli was the worst offender, along with cabbage, of overinflating those things.

I know, I know, TMI for sure.

9 hours ago, older than allosaurs said:

I'm good with this, specifically and in general. I don't like seeing snarks on looks or even fashion choices. But can we still make fun of DPIAT's wide stance?

Why not??  That "wide stance" looks so much like the guy needs to use the bathroom in the worst way (but he thinks he's so cool!)

[MamaJunebug]

7 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

Family cloth makes me think of cloth napkins, and the napkin rings I salvaged from my mom's house engraved with the names of family members I never heard of. I guess they all kept their cloth napkin for a week before washing day and used the rings to identify the owner, or they each had their own way of tieing their napkin. A much nicer idea. Even the Nauglers use tp.

Oh @PopRox! Don't worry about derailing a thing! I found talking to anonymous FJ strangers very comforting around this time last year. It was a sensitive subject. I think this ties into the stuff we discuss on FJ perfectly. I will keep you in my thoughts.

 The Real Housewives Of NYC -- of all things! -- had a tidbit on that. 

The ex-wife of an heir to the JPMorgan fortune still has some of the family's 24"-square  cloth napkins. She explained how they would use the edges of the napkin, a little more at each meal, until after a week the entire edge of the napkin was dirty & was laundered. 

@PopRox, strength & courage & freedom from fear! My prayers for you. 

[Gobsmacked]

13 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

My granny's stories of using the Sears catalog sounds more appealing than a family cloth......ewww.

My Nana hung squares of yesterday's daily mirror in her outside loo during the war ( my mother was about 5 years old). Paper was expensive, every bit had to be put to good use.

[smittykins]

I'd use the cheap TP sold at the convenience store next door before "family cloth"--and I live alone.

[Howl]

Wow, the Chinese were seriously about toilet paper from very early on, with the earliest recorded use dating to 589 A.D.  

Personally, I find wet wipes to be one of the greatest first-world inventions.  After using them to wipe millions of baby bums, someone finally thought,  Whoa! You can use these to wipe adult bums, too!   I'm sure there was a lot of daring off-label use for years, though, before the final breakthrough.  Or, um, the whole point of personal wipes is NO breakthrough. 

Now back to @PopRox and Kelly.  Wishing them the best as they transition away from the difficulties in their married lives.  DH and I have watched NCIS for many years now.  It's become even more painfully formulaic over time, but on this week's show there was a Gibbs quote: "If you're going though hell, keep going."   Truly, the only way out is through. There may be dragons, Rodents of Unusual Size and dangers in the form of rebound relationships,  but there is a way through.  

[Soulhuntress]

@PopRox agree about the safety plan.  1800-656-HOPE is a very useful tool.   Hugs and prayers and support.

[Petronella]

12 minutes ago, Howl said:

Personally, I find wet wipes to be one of the greatest first-world inventions.  After using them to wipe millions of baby bums, someone finally thought,  Whoa! You can use these to wipe adult bums, too!   I'm sure there was a lot of daring off-label use for years, though, before the final breakthrough.  Or, um, the whole point of personal wipes is NO breakthrough. 

Alas, wet wipes can cause serious plumbing blockage. That's the reason this use of them is not really common. Even some brands of *tissues* are not good for flushing! Toilet paper is specifically designed to break down.

[Howl]

15 minutes ago, Petronella said:

Alas, wet wipes can cause serious plumbing blockage. That's the reason this use of them is not really common. Even some brands of *tissues* are not good for flushing! Toilet paper is specifically designed to break down.

Yup, I was shocked to realize the original brand we were using was not flushable. Then we went to a flushable brand, but I put them in the bathroom trash (TMI) just in case.  I have some relatives with septic tanks; they are extremely careful about which TP brand they use. 

[PopRox]

Thank you guys so much. I have a bit of a support system at the ballet-- one of the directors let me stay with her last week when I was too scared to go home-- and my Mom might be able to help me out financially. I so so SO appreciate all your kind words. You have no idea how much I need that right now. THANK YOU . 

[Petronella]

51 minutes ago, Howl said:

Yup, I was shocked to realize the original brand we were using was not flushable. Then we went to a flushable brand, but I put them in the bathroom trash (TMI) just in case.  I have some relatives with septic tanks; they are extremely careful about which TP brand they use. 

Like you, I wouldn't trust a "flushable" wetwipe to actually be flushable. But I don't think I could cope with your trash bin method!! Probably because I'm *really* lazy about how often the bathroom bins get emptied ;-) Carry on with your extremely clean self!

[Chocolatedefrauded]

We have septic and I only get septic safe TP. Also trying to wean certain household members off sometimes using wipes, which are efficient but present a disposal problem. Double bag & immediate disposal is the only way when you live with a dog. Very gross! 

This is a weird threat drift!

[MamaJunebug]

2 hours ago, Petronella said:

Alas, wet wipes can cause serious plumbing blockage. That's the reason this use of them is not really common. Even some brands of *tissues* are not good for flushing! Toilet paper is specifically designed to break down.

Absolutely. I've known since my pupae days not to flush Kleenex (R), etc. It was one of BIg Mama JB's first lessons taught.

Here's a clue from my favorite (?!) plumber about "flushable" wipes. Leave one in a bowl of water, next to a second bowl of water with a couple squares of TP in that. Check the bowls after a few minutes.  If the wipe has disintegrated at the same rate as the TP, it truly is flushable. If not...do not flush.

I have a small waste basket with a foot pedal that lifts the lid. I line it with a plastic bag and drop the used wipe in there. No odors, and if it bothers you to know it's there*, you can use the smallest plastic bags and tie each one shut after use. Otherwise, tie up the liner bag when you want before your regularly scheduled trash pickup day.

*Doesn't bother me after having had cloth-diaper services for my first two juniors! YMMV, of course. :-)

[Black Aliss]

3 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

My Nana hung squares of yesterday's daily mirror in her outside loo during the war ( my mother was about 5 years old). Paper was expensive, every bit had to be put to good use.

My mother said it was a big deal when she was growing up when peaches came into season (they were grown and packed in Colorado and shipped around the country). My grandmother would buy several crates to can, and each peach was wrapped in a square of purple tissue paper. The peach wrappers went straight to the outhouse "and they were so much softer than the Sears catalog pages we used the rest of the year that we all were careful not to waste them"

[quiversR4hunting]

I am used to TP and bathroom talk is usually reserved for the Naugler thread. I find the thread drift confusing because I have to look if I am reading Nauglers or Bradrick.   A prim and proper (former) family of the VF would be appalled that we are discussing bathroom issues on their thread. .... in that case, care on with the bathroom talk  

 

[Granwych]

3 hours ago, Howl said:

Yup, I was shocked to realize the original brand we were using was not flushable. Then we went to a flushable brand, but I put them in the bathroom trash (TMI) just in case.  I have some relatives with septic tanks; they are extremely careful about which TP brand they use. 

Growing up in a house equipped with a septic tank, I am very leery about what gets flushed.

[refugee]

@PopRox, sending good thoughts in your direction.

The Bye Bye Birdie mention got me thinking...

I'm wondering now, if somehow in all the cosmic craziness of the universe, the fundie courtship-marriage model was taken from the song "One Boy"?

I remember as a little, little kid, being fascinated by that song, and playing it over and over (on a portable record player, as it was a newly released LP--yup, that long ago). My fascination with the song had to do with some quality in the main singer's voice, but with all that listening, I'm sure the words soaked in, to some extent.

And last, I was surprised that no one has yet mentioned the Stepford wives in conjunction with the Botkins' delivery on ROTD. I am not going to watch it again, at present, as just reading about it is triggering. But I watched it when it was "new" and I was brainwashed--though just beginning to question. The women at our church ate that kind of stuff up with a spoon. I couldn't stomach it--it sat rather uneasily with me, but stupidly, I chalked that up to the vestiges of feminism that I had not yet been able to extinguish.

Regarding Tim Bayly: He didn't say a word about homeschooling when he visited our heavily homeschooling (and a number of people being "homeschool-only" and "let's abolish those useless, ungodly public schools") church. What sort of schooling does he espouse?

[ChunkyBarbie]

Stepford Wives, yes!  The scary book or the original movie. I see it, in regards to Fundyland as a whole, and it is chilling @refugee.

[Soulhuntress]

2 minutes ago, refugee said:

@PopRox, sending good thoughts in your direction.

The Bye Bye Birdie mention got me thinking...

I'm wondering now, if somehow in all the cosmic craziness of the universe, the fundie courtship-marriage model was taken from the song "One Boy"?

I remember as a little, little kid, being fascinated by that song, and playing it over and over (on a portable record player, as it was a newly released LP--yup, that long ago). My fascination with the song had to do with some quality in the main singer's voice, but with all that listening, I'm sure the words soaked in, to some extent.

And last, I was surprised that no one has yet mentioned the Stepford wives in conjunction with the Botkins' delivery on ROTD. I am not going to watch it again, at present, as just reading about it is triggering. But I watched it when it was "new" and I was brainwashed--though just beginning to question. The women at our church ate that kind of stuff up with a spoon. I couldn't stomach it--it sat rather uneasily with me, but stupidly, I chalked that up to the vestiges of feminism that I had not yet been able to extinguish.

Regarding Tim Bayly: He didn't say a word about homeschooling when he visited our heavily homeschooling (and a number of people being "homeschool-only" and "let's abolish those useless, ungodly public schools") church. What sort of schooling does he espouse?

He may not espouse any.  No information on google either way.

[refugee]

5 minutes ago, Soulhuntress said:

17 minutes ago, refugee said:

Regarding Tim Bayly: He didn't say a word about homeschooling when he visited our heavily homeschooling (and a number of people being "homeschool-only" and "let's abolish those useless, ungodly public schools") church. What sort of schooling does he espouse?

He may not espouse any.  No information on google either way.

I thought it was on this thread I read a comment about a recent blog post where he blasted homeschooling and family-integrated churches. Which is ironic, since our former church was both, and invited him to do "conferences" several times. (ETA: But I was reading on my phone, earlier, and it's harder to keep track of threads there. Anyhoo, it just struck me funny.)