Girl Defined

[ViolaSebastian]

5 hours ago, freethemall said:

I feel like if there's one video I'm okay giving view #s to it's this one.

Ugh. They tell that story like it's cute and adorable, and it is most definitely not. Travis saying "somebody help her," and the dude that's promising to love and care for her forever *at that very moment* does jack diddly. This story is just sad.

I agree that Morgan may have some mental health issues. In this video, she's candid about having severe depression and borderline personality disorder. She throws up from stress and she's been hospitalized. Except that depression is a sinful temptation from Satan. SMDH.

Uh...good news? I guess, is that in December of 2017, she "ripped depression out of [her]." She can't explain how that happened. So...I'm sure it's all good, now. 

 

 

 

 

 

[dripcurl]

Her tattoo HAS to be a coverup. It is so heavy and has such specific placement. 

[Hashtag Blessed]

15 minutes ago, dripcurl said:

Her tattoo HAS to be a coverup. It is so heavy and has such specific placement. 

I think I saw someone on reddit say it is. Supposedly they’d found older photos where you can see what she had there before. If I remember right it was a simple infinity symbol. Why that needed to be covered is anyone’s guess. Is infinity demonic? 

[Beermeet]

That wedding video really says it all. His IG is full of him, you'd never know he has a wife.  This guy is an asshole. 

[JanasTattooParlor]

So I just fell down the GD rabbit hole after seeing that Jana Duggar was listening to an audiobook of Girl Defined on Instagram and HOLY COW! These women are crazy! I haven't watched any of their videos because I don't want to give them views, but their blog and the recaps here just really capture how immature and ignorant they are. I really do agree with everyone who has said that Bethany having a baby could spell the beginning of the end of GD, especially once the baby is actually born and Bethany wants to start talking about how wonderful and Godly being a mother is. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, JanasTattooParlor said:

So I just fell down the GD rabbit hole after seeing that Jana Duggar was listening to an audiobook of Girl Defined on Instagram and HOLY COW! These women are crazy! I haven't watched any of their videos because I don't want to give them views, but their blog and the recaps here just really capture how immature and ignorant they are. I really do agree with everyone who has said that Bethany having a baby could spell the beginning of the end of GD, especially once the baby is actually born and Bethany wants to start talking about how wonderful and Godly being a mother is. 

That’s all she will want to talk about. Maybe she will go solo and start “Mother Defined.” And then one of the three younger sisters will fill Bethsny’s role in Girl Defined.

[Katzchen24]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That’s all she will want to talk about. Maybe she will go solo and start “Mother Defined.” And then one of the three younger sisters will fill Bethsny’s role in Girl Defined.

I can totally see them doing this, but the thought makes me so totally, freaking angry. How old is Kristen? Seriously. I hate the implication that because you're not a parent, you are part of the group called 'girl' like it's not some kind of insulting diminutive. I'm going to quote Terry Pratchett here (from Carpe Jugulum). "It was as if, just because they'd got the label which said "mother", everyone else got a tiny part of the label that said "child"."  

I think that's completely within the mindset of fundy families. Sarah will never escape Maxhell because she's still a girl, and it's looking like Jana Duggar never will either. They will never be treated like grown women because they're a) unmarried and b) childless.

Certainly the current configuration of GD will fail though. Gosh, wouldn't it be amazing if Kristen found something worthwhile to do like having a career instead of patronising young women ?

[raspberrymint]

Is there a reason Kristen doesn't adopt?

[Giraffe]

9 minutes ago, raspberrymint said:

Is there a reason Kristen doesn't adopt?

Adoption is not a simple “hey, we can’t have bio kids, so let’s adopt!” All adoption starts with loss. The child loses their first family and will grieve that loss forever, even if the adoption is the best thing for the first parents and the kid. To automatically make the leap from infertile to adoption leaves out a whole lot of reality and is a private decision that should not be made lightly. 

Idk their thoughts on adoption. I’m just reacting to “just adopt!” because children are not commodities and adoption is not something people should just do if they can’t have bio kids. Yes, perhaps they will adopt someday, but it’s not necessarily an easy or clear-cut decision simply because a couple is infertile. 

[raspberrymint]

I'm just saying that I think it's surprising she hasn't adopted by now unless there's something preventing that, if she really wants to be a mother, her relationship is stable, and she's known she's infertile for 7 years.

[Giraffe]

11 minutes ago, raspberrymint said:

I'm just saying that I think it's surprising she hasn't adopted by now unless there's something preventing that, if she really wants to be a mother, her relationship is stable, and she's known she's infertile for 7 years.

I get where you’re coming from, but the decision to adopt is not that simple for many people. Plus, think of it this way - if they don’t adopt, it’s one less child they indoctrinate. 

Plus I doubt they would make a point of making sure the kid they adopted was placed for adoption in an ethical manner. I could see them finding out a friend of a friend’s 16 year old is pregnant and said 16 year old being coerced to hand her child over for adoption and being told some sob story of it “being for the best,” all the while the mother wanting desperately to raise her own child but feeing as though she has no choice. 

Edited October 29, 2019 by Giraffe
Still ranting.

[raspberrymint]

My conclusion tends to be that women who actively try to have children but don't become mothers when they have the resources to either don't actually want children or they think children have to come from them biologically in order to be truly theirs.  Nazi ancestor has me leaning towards the latter in Kristen's case, even if it's subconscious for her.  

Responding to your edit, I'm sure it would be some crap like that and I don't expect anything ethical from them.  I'm just speculating.

Edited October 29, 2019 by raspberrymint
Responding

[apandaaries]

It’s much more difficult to adopt than being like, please gimme a baby. There are months of inspections and interviews, and they’re all pretty invasive. 

Private adoption is usually expensive, like tens of thousands of dollars expensive. Going the foster-to-adopt-route means accepting that the baby/toddler/however oldster might return to their bio parents at anytime. That’s a pretty big emotional toll for a lot of prospective parents. 

I know some potential adoptive parents in CA. Some are considering the DIY route because it’s that much easier. Adoption is hard. And if a couple doesn’t want to adopt, don’t pressure them to do so. It definitely doesn’t benefit the potentially adopted child. It’s a decision that involves a lot of reflection, consideration, cultural awareness, and discussion. People need support for these momentous occasions, and education. 

I wouldn’t be excited to see either of these blondies adopting any baby. I don’t think they have they emotional, empathetic capacity to adopt. That’d require considering someone outside themselves, and they don’t seem that emotionally mature.

Adoptive babies deserve so much better.  They need serious, loving, devoted care following the separation from their birth parents. Please don’t wish them upon those pompous idiots. It’s not fair to the babies.

Evangelicals were encouraged to adopt in large numbers earlier. It was only to the detriment of the adoptees. There’s a lot more info out there about them, but here’s one of many articles about horrifically fucked up adoptions by evangelicals: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2013/04/christian-evangelical-adoption-liberia/

 

Edited October 29, 2019 by apandaaries

[Giraffe]

@apandaaries, you said it much better than I. Yes, if she were to adopt I worry it would be very much a “we get to bless this poor, abandoned infant!” ?

Edited October 29, 2019 by Giraffe
Riffle

[Katzchen24]

5 hours ago, raspberrymint said:

My conclusion tends to be that women who actively try to have children but don't become mothers when they have the resources to either don't actually want children or they think children have to come from them biologically in order to be truly theirs. 

I have to strongly but respectfully disagree with your conclusion. Women can find themselves in a whole range of circumstances that preclude them from having children regardless of their personal resources or their opinion of adoption.

I find GD totally repellant in ideology but can imagine what Kristen is going through. Adoption isn't necessarily a solution for everyone - and frankly I agree that the fewer children born into this fluffy blonde shitshow the better. 

[Topaz]

11 hours ago, raspberrymint said:

My conclusion tends to be that women who actively try to have children but don't become mothers when they have the resources to either don't actually want children or they think children have to come from them biologically in order to be truly theirs.  Nazi ancestor has me leaning towards the latter in Kristen's case, even if it's subconscious for her.  

Responding to your edit, I'm sure it would be some crap like that and I don't expect anything ethical from them.  I'm just speculating.

What are you basing that conclusion on?

 There are many reasons why a family might not go down the path of adoption. There might be something in their background that makes them ineligible. 
 

They might not feel they can deal with the unknowns. No baby comes with an instruction manual but with a biological child you probably have a good idea of any physical or mental illnesses that run in the family, you know what the baby was exposed to in utero. You don’t have the risk of a birth parent changing their mind or parental rights not being terminated.

They might not feel equipped to deal with the trauma of adoption.

 You don’t have to have Nazi leanings to not be sure if you can parent a child that’s not biologically yours, and the time to find out that this is a real issue is not when a child who has already lost one family (potentially more if they’ve been in the foster care system) is already in your home.

Most of the children needing families are not healthy white infants. They might not feel capable of parenting a child with special needs or starting out with an older child. And you don’t have to have Nazi leanings to feel unequipped to parent a child of a different race.

Sorry for the essay, the idea that everyone can or should adopt is one I feel strongly about.

[theotherelise]

This woman is a great follow if you're interested in learning more about the childfree-not-by-choice experience & community: https://www.instagram.com/mstiagendusa/?hl=en

We have no idea what Kristen and her husband have decided or tried regarding non-biological family building. We do know that she has had two miscarriages in seven years, one pretty recently. I only recently started following this thread and only watch their videos through other YouTubers, so I can't speak to her whole infertility journey. But I can imagine it might be difficult to close the door on biological family building if you've gotten pregnant before. Add the warped God-issues they've got and they probably think this is all a lesson and the recent pregnancy is a test or something. I've seen this before among my infertility groups where people who have had a pregnancy and loss following a lower intervention (medication or IUI usually), they are more hesitant to move to more aggressive treatments than those who have only gotten negative results.

It is also very important for an adoption journey that you are able to mentally grieve the biological family and prepare for a different parenting experience. As much as regular people want to tell you stories about someone they knew who got pregnant as soon as they adopted, it's not something you should go into hoping to trick the system into getting you the bio baby you really want.

The movie Private Life on netflix is also worth a watch if you'd like to understand the stress: 

 

[raspberrymint]

Again, I'm not wishing anyone be raised by these people.  My best friend of several years was adopted by terrible Christians.  I grew up wishing I were older and that I could have adopted her instead.  I was just speculating.  I've known I wanted to adopt when able to ever since I was a child, thanks in no small part to witnessing the aftermath of bad adoptions, so I made a number of sacrifices to get to that point (which is a lot harder for an adult in poverty than it is for whatever class the women from Girl Defined are). 

I sacrificed relationships (can't be with someone who used to be an alcoholic and has a record) and lived with other situations I don't want to get into that made my life harder for years so I would have the right background.  I still don't have a big enough house.  My house is two bedrooms and I'm trying to get (and stay) pregnant, but my partner and I are working towards a larger house.  We know we likely won't be approved to adopt for a few more years.  If I had been with this person for 7+ years and had financial security during that time, we would have our family by now.  That's me personally, and again, I'm just speculating and not wishing anyone be raised by GD.

Edited October 29, 2019 by raspberrymint
More details. I'm not as ignorant as has been implied. I'm editing the edit so I can say that people should not have to puke out their personal life stories just to avoid getting dog piled on.

[Marmion]

On 10/8/2019 at 11:06 AM, Exchange Atheist said:

I just came here to post the same Reddit comment. I‘m torn between facepalming, utter horror and an apathetic shrug. Like, yes, this is what happens when people are sheltered and homeschooled by parents with questionable beliefs, so why am I even surprised? Of course they’re not descendants of Austrian refugees, or we’d have never heard the end of it. Of course they have no idea what actually happened in Nazi Austria. Of course they’d take smiling selfies in front of Nazi sites. Of course they’d never think of educating themselves about anything their parents told them, including their family history. 

But still. The nerve!!!

The two of them sort of remind me of the Gaede twins  .  And on a less serious note , I am reminded of this comedy sketch .  

 

[theotherelise]

@raspberrymint I don't think you're getting dogpiled on. You clearly have your own story, just like everyone else in the world, so it would be nice if you could appreciate that your experience isn't the only way to feel. Your comments were not specific snark or judgment about Kristen's beliefs, they were general judgments about women with infertility who do not pursue adoption.

I hope you take this opportunity to learn about why that type of thinking is hurtful. You just cannot say that women with trouble conceiving who don't pursue adoption when they have the financial means to do so means they "don't actually want children." Please understand that you are placing blame on women with those comments. You were making broad statements about these kinds of women. Please take the responses as opportunities to see that while you might not now (or ever) understand why someone would not make the choice that you would make, it is a valid choice and does not deserve our judgement. 

A family can decide not to pursue adoption for many many reasons. That's their business. It's never our right to say that it's because they just didn't actually want children enough. There is already so much pressure on women to have uncomplicated dreams of motherhood when many of us come to decisions of parenthood with many complications. Let's not add in personal litmus tests requiring people prove how much they actually want it.

Edited October 30, 2019 by theotherelise
removed redundant word

[freethemall]

Switching topics....has anyone watched the GD Halloween video? Mr Atheist did a response video to it. The usual - stay pure and don't give in to Satan.

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, freethemall said:

Switching topics....has anyone watched the GD Halloween video? Mr Atheist did a response video to it. The usual - stay pure and don't give in to Satan.

Is Satan hiding in snickers fun size candy bars now? He’s getting so sneaky!

[Hane]

I was a bit disappointed that Mr. Atheist didn’t zing their inane comment about “no Halloween in the Bible” by pointing out that, in Christian tradition, “Halloween” means “the eve of All Saints’ (hallowed) Day,” a religious holiday revering the holy dead. 
 

These twits irritate me. They’ve never uttered a single original syllable. It’s blatantly obvious that everything they say comes from what their church’s brand of pre-packaged Christianism has told them to think.

[Laura2730]

Is anyone aware of Girl Defined's strong ties to Doug Phillips' former Vision Forum?

[scoutsadie]

On 11/12/2019 at 8:59 AM, Laura2730 said:

Is anyone aware of Girl Defined's strong ties to Doug Phillips' former Vision Forum?

I'm posting the link to the related thread you created, in case anyone missed it!

So folks, when is Bethany due?

Edited November 26, 2019 by scoutsadie
riffles