Lori Alexander, 12: Transformed, But We Can't Tell

[Imrlgoddess]

I guess her whole idea of the church taking care of widows and families with less than ideal income is just another example of her uber-sheltered lifestyle.  As a few here have already mentioned, pastors don't always have the means to just run their church.  We rent a sanctuary and offices to a couple who has a decently thriving congregation but they both have regular jobs to make ends meet at home.  I remember when I was married the first go 'round, we were broke, had a new infant, and needed rent money.  I went to the Catholic church that I frequented (there are literally a dozen in town) and was told that the church doesn't pay rent for parishioners.  They gave me $100 and made sure I understood I'd never get another penny.  

If this woman ever did actually leave her house and go out into the world and open her little eyes, she would be shocked.  She stays home, keeps the tv off, and hides anything online that she doesn't want to know about.   I have no use for willful ignorance.  I'm sure there's a verse in the Bible about such a thing...not that Lori pays attention to that part of the book.  

[usmcmom]

Lori also seems to put the responsibility on the woman for the church supporting her. Her attitude conveys that if a widow or single mom is NOT being supported by her church, then it is somehow her fault.  I think she believes if a woman were godly enough, the church would jump at the chance to fully support her. 

[Koala]

The irony here, is that Lori and Ken don't believe in tithing (their bank account isn't under the law, and Lori needs a new e-Shakti dress!).  Lori has even reposted Michael Pearl's rambling about tithing being a sin.

 Without a large and steady stream of regular tithers, how on earth is the church supposed to support widows?

Lori has further stated:

Quote

 I would definitely describe myself as a taker.

Which is great...everyone loves a leach,  but what if the whole church is full of Godly Older Takers?  Where does the money to support the widows come from?

Lori likes to quip that "what God commands, he provides", but I've never know anyone to get a direct deposit from God.  That money has to come from a Giver....a LOT of Givers.

Someone upthread pointed out that Lori (who is supposedly teaching), totally ignores scenarios that don't fit into a very narrow box.  I totally agree.  Here's an example:

A reader remarked that one of the reasons she worked was to prepare for retirement.

Taker Lori's response:

Quote

Your best retirement plan is your children.

Reader:

Quote

 I don't expect my children to provide financially for me in my old age, I expect them to use their money to buy a home and support their children. We need to provide for ourselves otherwise it's so unfair on our children. My mother is in a nursing home but my parents cover the cost with their savings and don't expect us to pay for it.

Lori:

Quote

 Paul speaks about older widows in the Bible and commands family and relatives to care for them. This is biblical.

Umm, the woman just said that her parents (plural) pay for her mother's nursing care.

Lori:

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 I will never mind caring for my precious mother. It is my privilege to do so.

Except that it doesn't appear that Lori is caring for her mother.  She spends oodles of time on the net, and her father was a doctor, so Lori's financial contributions aren't needed.

Reader:

Quote

I live 2,000 km from my mother so caring for her isn't an option except for phone calls and letters. I visit as often as I can but domestic airfares are very expensive. My dad and I catch during the week on the phone. But as to financial support, I couldn't afford to .

Lori:

Quote

Then, according to the a Word, the church is supposed to support widows if the family is unable.

BUT HER MOTHER IS NOT A WIDOW!

Reader:

Quote

 my mother isn't a widow, my dad is very much alive . She is in a nursing home due to her stroke . They didn't attend a formal church, rather a tiny house meeting.

Lori:

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I am sorry. My mom isn't well either.

Total failure to acknowledge that one size does not fit all.  Just "sorry", but more about me. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

It is selfish as well to rely on your own children for your retirement. Is all the talk about having multiple children really just to assure there are caregivers for retirement? Are we suppose to raise children godly not really because of God but because you want dutiful children who will drop everything when you are old and take care of them. 

Lori mentioned her kids use medi share for health insurance. Does anyone know how those christian medical costs sharing ministries really work? It seems too good to be true. 

[kpmom]

As it is the backs of the middle aged middle class are almost breaking between paying bills, caring for kids, saving for retirement and helping aging parents.

And now Lori is telling people don't worry about saving for retirement because your adult children will care for you?

Has she been out of the house to see prices lately?

And seriously, does she and Ken really and truly have no retirement savings other than hoping their kids will care for them?  I don't believe that for a minute.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

From what I've read, the sharing part of Medi-Share is entirely voluntary on the part of the members -- as in no one may agree to help pay your medical bills, plus there are lots of exemptions.

“We do not collect premiums, make promise of payment, or guarantee that your medical bills will be paid,” the Medi-Share website explains. “Sharing of medical bills is completely voluntary.”

First off you have to be a Christian to join, and your pastor may have to vouch you're a church member in good standing. Any medical expense come from something non-Christian isn't covered, and prescription drugs , might be covered but only for a 6 month lifetime maximum.

The program doesn't cover routine planned expenses -- like an annual exam, You cannot be obese or have high blood pressure. It doesn't cover pre-existing conditions

The monthly "premium"' is like a gift that goes into an escrow account, but there is no guarantee the account will pay your bill.

Fundies seems to love it because it's not the evil ACA (Obamacare).

Edited to add " Medi-Share’s declaration of faith requires that you and any adult children on your plan sign a statement indicating you believe that

“the Bible is God’s written revelation to man and that it is verbally inspired, authoritative, and without error” and

“that man… because of sin was alienated from God [and can be saved from that alienation] by accepting God’s gift of salvation by grace through faith”

Catholics, Mormons, Jews, Muslims and of course Atheists cannot be members. (http://whitecoatinvestor.com/christian-health-care-sharing-versus-health-insurance/)

There are tons of articles if you Google "Medi-Share review" 

http://www.thepennyhoarder.com/medishare-reviews/

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/01/opinion/sunday/onward-christian-health-care.html?_r=0

http://www.beckershospitalreview.com/payer-issues/how-much-do-health-sharing-ministries-really-help.html

 

 

 

[Hisey]

6 hours ago, Koala said:

A reader remarked that one of the reasons she worked was to prepare for retirement.

Taker Lori's response:

Reader:

Lori:

Umm, the woman just said that her parents (plural) pay for her mother's nursing care.

Lori:

Except that it doesn't appear that Lori is caring for her mother.  She spends oodles of time on the net, and her father was a doctor, so Lori's financial contributions aren't needed.

 

You make some excellent points here, Koala, but I must point out that not all doctors are rich and can handle any medical expense that comes their way. I know a number of docs (primary care, mostly) who struggle to get by and have huge expenses. Docs working for large corporations in high-rent areas like San Diego get paid just a bit more than their colleagues in Kansas, yet have to pay much for living expenses. I don't think we can just assume that her parents are "all set" to pay all her mom's bills without assistance.

OTOH, her dad was a pathologist, I believe, and they do pretty well.

[desertvixen]

It sort of makes sense that Lori is expecting kids to pay for their parents - since she also thinks that parents should help the kids move out before they're ready to support themselves.

But 1000X yes, Lori lives an incredibly incredibly sheltered little life.

[freealljs]

I agree that Lori and Ken have a nest egg set aside for their retirement years. But I have to wonder what would happen, if something were to happen to Ken (as vile as his views on molestation and incest are, I don't wish anything bad on him) and their money (because it's so easy to lose everything), would her kids and church support her to the lifestyle that she is accustomed to?  I doubt it. Maybe that's what needs to happen for Lori, so she can see that things don't always go as planned.

[lilwriter85]

 

4 minutes ago, freealljs said:

I agree that Lori and Ken have a nest egg set aside for their retirement years. But I have to wonder what would happen, if something were to happen to Ken (as vile as his views on molestation and incest are, I don't wish anything bad on him) and their money (because it's so easy to lose everything), would her kids and church support her to the lifestyle that she is accustomed to?  I doubt it. Maybe that's what needs to happen for Lori, so she can see that things don't always go as planned.

I think Lori is one person who needs to see that things don't always go as planned. She is banking too much on her kids stepping up to support her. She doesn't take into account that her children's spouses may be against possibly supporting Lori in the future. I wouldn't be surprised if at least one of Lori's kids turns on her. I have a friend whose paternal grandmother was emotionally abusive towards her kids. My friend's father refuses to give his mother money and has limited contact with her. Most of my friend's aunts and uncles also refuse to give the grandmother money. My friend has said that if her grandmother had not been abusive, her father would be fine with giving assistance.

 

[Granwych]

12 hours ago, freealljs said:

I agree that Lori and Ken have a nest egg set aside for their retirement years. But I have to wonder what would happen, if something were to happen to Ken (as vile as his views on molestation and incest are, I don't wish anything bad on him) and their money (because it's so easy to lose everything), would her kids and church support her to the lifestyle that she is accustomed to?  I doubt it. Maybe that's what needs to happen for Lori, so she can see that things don't always go as planned.

I dunno...if Lori isn't bright enough to figure out how to evacuate her neighborhood because of a fire, I doubt she can do much else that's useful.

[onemama]

I'm against the idea of planning for the kids to take care of you when you grow old.  You don't know what their lives are going to be like, what the economy is going to be like, whether they will even live near you or whether something might happen to them.  It's risky and very unfair.

If you can, you should give serious thought to your retirement. Who plans to become a burden? 

This is not to say that I don't think children should care for their aging parents, especially good parents who made sacrifices to raise them, but it's not something parents should demand of their children. 

[polecat]

2 hours ago, Granwych said:

I dunno...if Lori isn't bright enough to figure out how to evacuate her neighborhood because of a fire, I doubt she can do much else that's useful.

 

Hey, she wrote a viral post once! 

[Granwych]

56 minutes ago, polecat said:

Hey, she wrote a viral post once! 

Well, she says she wrote that post.  Good point, though, Polecat!

[Emilycharlotte]

In today's notebook doodle, she used the misspelling "decieved" FIVE times.  Then to top it off, she added a bible verse graphic which has "deceived" spelled correctly twice.  Does she even try to proofread this stuff? 

Also, where does the Bible say Eve was perfect? I'm pretty sure it doesn't. And it's a strange word to use to describe a person that you also claim was weak, emotional and easily-deceived.

She just gives me such a headache.  I don't know why I do this to myself. 

[onemama]

1 hour ago, Emilycharlotte said:

In today's notebook doodle, she used the misspelling "decieved" FIVE times.  Then to top it off, she added a bible verse graphic which has "deceived" spelled correctly twice.  Does she even try to proofread this stuff? 

Also, where does the Bible say Eve was perfect? I'm pretty sure it doesn't. And it's a strange word to use to describe a person that you also claim was weak, emotional and easily-deceived.

She just gives me such a headache.  I don't know why I do this to myself. 

She gives me a headache too.  I hadn't noticed the misspellings, but then I generally read those doodles very quickly.

Funny how she took to facebook calling women who don't believe they are more easily deceived "foolish" after someone called her out on that misconception over on her blog. 

Perhaps Lori should start focusing a little more on cultivating the character traits that older women should have BEFORE they start teaching the younger ones.

[dairyfreelife]

I never understood that statement. 

How was Adam not deceived? If you read the story it actually seems he was more easily deceived than Eve. It took Eve some convincing to actually take the fruit, but Adam easily took it from Eve without much question. 

Genesis 3:1-6 And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

She tried to reason she was not to eat the fruit of that tree. Adam took it from her and didn't question anything. So, who is more easily deceived again?

Lori implores her read to scripture in context and quotes a couple verses of 1 Timothy 2. I can do that too and give more context. 

1 Timothy 1: 1-2 "Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the commandment of God our Saviour, and Lord Jesus Christ, which is our hope; Unto Timothy, my own son in the faith: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord." 

1 Timothy 1: 7 "Desiring to be teachers of the law; understanding neither what they say, nor whereof they affirm."

Also the verse she left out following her disagreement with commenter Anon...

1 Timothy 2: 15 "Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety." 

Titus 2: 3-10 "The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you. Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again; Not purloining, but shewing all good fidelity; that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things."

You see, I think Lori misunderstands this scripture. She takes it mean she, as an older women, is to actually physically teach/preach to other women. However, in order to do this, she must be holy and teach good things and NOT falsely accuse anyone of things. It seems to be more of an lead-by-example, not straight up telling others to do it this way. But you can't lead by example if it's not what you yourself do. 

Also, she does things highly frowned up constantly like gossiping. 

gos·sip ˈɡäsəp/ noun 1. casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.

Ephesians 4: 29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." 

1 Timothy 5: 13-14 "withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully"

Proverbs 25: 9-10 "Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another: Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, and thine infamy turn not away." or the ESV version "Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another's secret, lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your ill repute have no end." 

There's dozen more verses where that came from so Lori, stop speaking negatively about other people. Stop wandering house to house being a busybody, speaking thing you ought not and don't talk to your chatroom buddies or make posts about your neighbors or friends or anyone else. Your Bible tells you so. 

 

[Koala]

7 hours ago, dairyfreelife said:

 

Also, she does things highly frowned up constantly like gossiping. 

gos·sip ˈɡäsəp/ noun 1. casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.

Ephesians 4: 29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." 

1 Timothy 5: 13-14 "withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully"

Proverbs 25: 9-10 "Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another: Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, and thine infamy turn not away." or the ESV version "Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another's secret, lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your ill repute have no end." 

There's dozen more verses where that came from so Lori, stop speaking negatively about other people. Stop wandering house to house being a busybody, speaking thing you ought not and don't talk to your chatroom buddies or make posts about your neighbors or friends or anyone else. Your Bible tells you so. 

 

She is a shameless gossip, and I think that's why she rarely touches on that topic.  In fact, when she quotes those verses, she usually cuts out the first bit and skips straight to the part about staying home.  She doesn't want her readers pointing out post after post where she's gossiped about everyone from her next door neighbor (Filthy house! Lori's maid said so!), to her friend's daughter who makes thongs (Good thing Lori taught her daughters to be modest!).

 

[dairyfreelife]

Does anyone know what the hell she's trying to say with today's post? Also, I don't think she wrote most of it if she wrote any of it. 

Yesterday she brought her old post on Never Learning

Quote

When I was young, around ten or so, I was at my neighbor's home across the street. She told me her parents had sex a lot. I told her my parents were Christians and only had sex three times! When my sons were young, one of them asked Ken if he had sex with me only four times. Ken looked at them and asked, "Four times this week?"

This is weird to me. Unless her neighbor was much older that's a weird comment. It is weird anyway because do children actually talk about their parents sex lives, especially to other children. I just find it strange that 10 year olds would know how often their parents had sex. I think Lori's response thinking 3 times because her parents had 3 children is the most normal response for a 10 year old. They know that sex is what makes babies so they think their parents had it just to make babies. The concept of sex for pleasure and intimacy in a relationship is not in their mind frame yet because they are kids. It is much weirder for a 10 year old to be aware that their parents have lots of sex. If the sons were still children, that's strange to tell them how often you have sex. If they were well into the teens, it is still strange to be so open about your personal sex life, but being open about sex and it's relation to intimacy in a relationship would be a good idea. However, when I was around 10 I though like Lori, that your parents had sex just to have babies so only a few times. I don't recall my parents ever talking about their sex life unless we asked a specific question. I don't recall them telling me about intimacy and sex much if hardly at all, it was just something picked up with time. But my parents actually seemed to love and respect each other and were equal in the relationship. Still married after 30 years. Dad is sick, mom works now. But they aren't fucked up people like Ken and Lori, so, yeah. They also weren't sheltered and naive. 

If my parents were like Lori and Ken I'd probably have fucked up relationship views too. My dad did spank, but it was rare and he certainly never got any pleasure from it (it was the norm to sometimes spank, but not the go to method like the crazy fundies). The way these people act like it's joyful and seem to like it, that is the creepiest thing. Even most people who who believe spanking is okay think people like the Pearls are sick bastards. They enjoy discipline, they seem to derive pleasure from it, they smack babies, set up situations just to beat their children, hold children down smacking them and hitting them if they dare cry. Even misguided people who think spanking is okay because they were spanked are not sick enough to believe the above is okay. Any decent person would think that is disturbing because it is. And Ken and Lori condone this. Son Ryan is following in the fucked up parenting realm and Cassi seems to be headed the same sadly. I hope Steven and Emily don't. 

[dairyfreelife]

I reread today's post and it I get know that I know it was written by Charles Spurgeon, but I am unsure she even understands it because it uses big words and this is the woman who deferred to Ken because the reader used too many large words. At least she mentioned she didn't write it. Probably because it would have been too obvious. You cannot convince me Lori knows what fain devour, assailed and affray mean among other words used. 

 

[desertvixen]

Yes, I'd be a little taken aback if another kid told my 10 year old that their parents had sex a lot. 

[polecat]

4 hours ago, dairyfreelife said:

I reread today's post and it I get know that I know it was written by Charles Spurgeon, but I am unsure she even understands it because it uses big words and this is the woman who deferred to Ken because the reader used too many large words. At least she mentioned she didn't write it. Probably because it would have been too obvious. You cannot convince me Lori knows what fain devour, assailed and affray mean among other words used. 

 

 

They mean godly stuff, and how dare you question her?! 

Also, godly mentor and viral. Detractor! Hater! Troll! Never even read her book in the first place! 

 

(I kid!)

[TakingBibleClasses]

Ugh. New member of FJ (been lurking for awhile...) and new to Lori Alexander. Horrifying.

I can kinda get her ambivalence about college--even Christian college!--for young women, though. I did my undergrad at the same college as Lori (in Religious Studies, no less) and it turned me into a feminist. Oops.

[teachergirl]

She has replied to Kelly Crawford's report of her husband needing a neck fusion as they should use ice next time. It didn't work for her so OF COURSE it won't work for anyone else. Off topic, having 11 children with a husband who is not only losing his vision but needs neck surgery is why you don't have a million kids all the while selling crap on Etsy your children made.

[VooDooChild]

23 minutes ago, teachergirl said:

She has replied to Kelly Crawford's report of her husband needing a neck fusion as they should use ice next time. It didn't work for her so OF COURSE it won't work for anyone else. Off topic, having 11 children with a husband who is not only losing his vision but needs neck surgery is why you don't have a million kids all the while selling crap on Etsy your children made.

Kelly is such an asshole.  Every time I see her name I remember a pic on her blog where she's sitting on a couch hugely pregnant with  number eleventy and looking quite arrogant.  Makes my skin crawl.