What if you do fundie things for non-fundie reasons?

[O Latin]

Reading the "what makes a fundie-lite" thread, I found it interesting that so many people brought up things like dress or what kind of movies kids are allowed to watch, rather than actual religious things. So I'm curious how some of you would classify people who do things commonly associated with fundies (or, apparently, fundie-lites), but for completely different reasons. For example...

--I've been told I "dress Mormon" because I don't wear sleeveless tops, shorts, or skirts above the knee. I mostly dress this way because I don't particularly like summer and therefore don't enjoy buying separate clothes for it, not because of anything to do with modesty.

--Growing up, I knew lots of kids who weren't allowed to watch R rated movies until some certain point. I had one friend who wasn't allowed to watch PG-13 movies until she turned 13. Her parents weren't remotely religious, they were just very overprotective.

--Once upon a time, my family used to hang around with a lot of hippie types who often didn't have TV in their homes or severely limited their children's viewing (although it was usually amount of time spent watching that was regulated, not so much content). None of these people were religious, either, and as far as I can tell this was part of some 90's hippie belief that TV will rot the creative brains of children or something.

I could think of more examples, but homework calls. I'm just curious about this because I found it sort of odd to read all the, "I think fundie-lites dress this way and don't let their kids watch much TV" posts.

[Rosa]

I think it's the reason for it. If you do those things because you prefer it, or you have a theory about how it affects your career or child development or whatever, that's not a religious thing at all.

If you do it because it's what Real Christians do, or because you think it's an outward sign of your inward morals (cf the 'girl with blue hair" a fundie girl might have to be near in college), or because you think the Bible says you have to (headcovering, beating children), then it's a religious thing.

[clibbyjo]

Reading the "what makes a fundie-lite" thread, I found it interesting that so many people brought up things like dress or what kind of movies kids are allowed to watch, rather than actual religious things. So I'm curious how some of you would classify people who do things commonly associated with fundies (or, apparently, fundie-lites), but for completely different reasons. For example...

--I've been told I "dress Mormon" because I don't wear sleeveless tops, shorts, or skirts above the knee. I mostly dress this way because I don't particularly like summer and therefore don't enjoy buying separate clothes for it, not because of anything to do with modesty.

--Growing up, I knew lots of kids who weren't allowed to watch R rated movies until some certain point. I had one friend who wasn't allowed to watch PG-13 movies until she turned 13. Her parents weren't remotely religious, they were just very overprotective.

--Once upon a time, my family used to hang around with a lot of hippie types who often didn't have TV in their homes or severely limited their children's viewing (although it was usually amount of time spent watching that was regulated, not so much content). None of these people were religious, either, and as far as I can tell this was part of some 90's hippie belief that TV will rot the creative brains of children or something.

I could think of more examples, but homework calls. I'm just curious about this because I found it sort of odd to read all the, "I think fundie-lites dress this way and don't let their kids watch much TV" posts.

Damn, I do a lot of the things you mentioned. I have a lot in common with the fundies except

Usually wear skirts or dresses

headcovering(usually berets or cool scarves because my hair is thin) I just like hats and scarves

homeschooling (the opposite of for religious reasons)

natural lifestyle(organic whatever I can afford)

no tv(the kids did watch America's Got Talent during summer, I haven;t watched any tv since last seasons Family Guy)

No movies over PG 13(my oldest is 15) and no M video games

All songs the kids buy must be "radio edit" or "Clean version". Being that they listen to rap, you can see why. My 9 year old won't be singing about" getting some booty" in the near future.

Our co-op however is liberal,non-religious,accepting of all lifestyles and all the moms are educated and wear pants ( I think I am the only one who mostly wears skirts, but that is my style, not because someone tells me I have to)

I only have 3 kids though,I am not a secular fundie am I?

[clibbyjo]

Damn, I do a lot of the things you mentioned. I have a lot in common with the fundies

Usually wear skirts or dresses

headcovering(usually berets or cool scarves because my hair is thin) I just like hats and scarves

homeschooling (the opposite of for religious reasons)

natural lifestyle(organic whatever I can afford)

no tv(the kids did watch America's Got Talent during summer, I haven;t watched any tv since last seasons Family Guy)

No movies over PG 13(my oldest is 15) and no M video games

All songs the kids buy must be "radio edit" or "Clean version". Being that they listen to rap, you can see why. My 9 year old won't be singing about" getting some booty" in the near future.

Our co-op however is liberal,non-religious,accepting of all lifestyles and all the moms are educated and wear pants ( I think I am the only one who mostly wears skirts, but that is my style, not because someone tells me I have to)

I only have 3 kids though,I am not a secular fundie am I?

[desertvixen]

It's not so much doing the things that makes it fundie. It's the whole making everyone else do it, or shaming people because they're not doing it. Acting like your way is the One True Way and everyone else is Doing It Wrong.

[libmomj]

Like Rosa posted, I think it comes down to why one does those things and the attitude towards others who make different choices. I have always dressed conservatively and am, by nature, reserved and well...rather prudish. But that's just my personality. I also happen to be a self-proclaimed liberal, atheist and feminist. I don't conduct my life around some religious construct that magically makes me more holy or superior. I do what works for me and my family, and I won't condemn anyone else for not doing the same as me.

I was raised secular, so I think I've always been hypersensitive about those who profess religion as both necessary and sufficient for morality, especially when I would fit their moral code better than most of them. Conversely, I have an issue with religious folk dismissing anyone who holds remotely different values as unworthy or tainted. For if I can portray their vision of purity and morality while holding none of their beliefs, they must be underestimating anyone else with a grittier life or personality.

[JesusFightClub]

It revolves round the "why" and "what is your opinion of people who don't follow your convictions". If the answers to those questions aren't "Because I am a fundie" and "They are scum" you are probably ok ;)

I don't do many fundie style things, but I don't own a TV and like some of the Lina types (and Jews and Muslims) I do not eat pork. However that is due to having worked for an abattoir, not for religious reasons, and I try not to be an arse about it. I went to visit relatives once and they, not knowing, had done roast pork for the main meal...rather than embarrass them and insult their hospitality, I ate some of it (then threw up on the way home, annoyingly).

None of the stuff mentioned sounds super fundy, but I reckon anything would have to be done with fundy intent, er, so to speak.

[annalena]

I was once saw a very non fundy-mom, goth - motorcycle-riding type, who showed up at a disney event at a store where i was working with her 2 kids, 4 and 2 or something like that.

we had a tinkerbell movie running on repeat on a tinkerbell tv (yes , that does exist) and she repeatedly told her kids NOT to even look in that direction cause she hadn't checked the messages the movie contained. (the movie was recommended 3 and up and about tinkerbell making new friends over the summer, so not exactly child-harming material).

[hapamama]

I do censor what my kids watch on TV, the music they listen too, the video games they watch and the movies they watch to a degree, but it's more for age-appropriateness than anything else. I don't want my 5 year old watching rated R movies, or my 9 year old listening to gangsta rap y'know.

I also won't let my daughter (9) walk out the door looking like a hoochie. We do wear pants and shorts, but they're of reasonable length and fit. No low rise skinny jeans or short shorts here.

[YPestis]

My fiance and I are pretty big on paying stuff in cash. I was raised that way and I guess he is just frugal. Neither one of us want to take loans out for cars or electronics or furniture. Actually, part of this may be because we both have significant student debt. We both try to avoid debt except for school and house, neither of which we could avoid (med school is very expensive!).

I also dress conservatively as a personal choice. I don't care how others dress, and typically don't judge unless it's UGLY lol. In college, I was mistaken for a conservative church goer by another student. When I showed my surprise at that revelation, the other person stammered that he based this off of the way I was dressed. I don't care if people think I'm some prude. It's always fun to watch people's reaction as they hear me make dirty jokes, dressed like some Sunday school girl goody two shoe LOL.

[pandora665]

I do censor what my kids watch on TV, the music they listen too, the video games they watch and the movies they watch to a degree, but it's more for age-appropriateness than anything else. I don't want my 5 year old watching rated R movies, or my 9 year old listening to gangsta rap y'know.

I also won't let my daughter (9) walk out the door looking like a hoochie. We do wear pants and shorts, but they're of reasonable length and fit. No low rise skinny jeans or short shorts here.

This. I also won't let her wear short skirts without leggings or shorts underneath, so that she can have freedom of movement without getting embarassed on the playground. She's also not allowed to wear flip-flops or Crocs, b/c they do not give good support for freedom of movement (Duggars, can you hear me?)

My daughter is still wearing rash-guard swimsuits at 5, b/c I don't really think trying to keep a very fair child coated with sunscreen is a smart idea. She's fair with a million freckles already. I feel bad when I read some of the ex-fundies' websites about how they never got to wear a "real" swimsuit, b/c my daughter hasn't. We're the same about spaghetti straps outside for the same reason - shoulders burn too easily. We'd totally get her a tankini or one-piece, though, if we had a vacation at an indoor pool...maybe that's the difference?

[Rosa]

I think the real difference is - if she comes to you in a few years and says Mom! I hate this t-shirty thing, PLEASE can I have a normal swimsuit?

What we say to our son (6) is "if you don't wear the swimming shirt, you have to wear sunscreen. Which do you want to do?"

What fundies say to their little girls is "No! Those things are indecent and immodest and we won't have you looking like one of those WORLDLY girls." or, worse, "God wants you to dress this way, so you have more opportunities to minister to the unGodly at the pool and save them from eternal damnation."

one allows for the child to make reasoned decisions that take their own feelings and experiences into consideration; the other tells them they don't have the right to either have feelings or make decisions (like our bloggers who say "this is what God says so if you have a problem you have a problem with Him").

[titus2_4u]

Even though I grew up in shorts, jeans, pants, I prefer skirts and dresses these days just for fashion reasons. And I talk openly about not having a TV (just personal preference, also Hulu is making it pretty unnecessary).

Also, I have an Amish-y name. I'm always worried people I meet will think I'm a fundie based on these things.

[pandora665]

My low-point from a fashion standpoint was the day we visited the Amish grocery store. I had on a jean skirt, long sleeved black T-shirt, glasses, and hair in a bun. Not my finest outfit, but not too out of the ordinary at the time. 2 different people came up to me assuming I worked there (only the Amish actually worked at this store, so that tells you how "plain" my outfit was). The jean skirt went to the thrift store on the next go-round, and my husband was ecstatic.

[User123456]

I've homeschooled because my kid needed it. I have long hair. It's braided. When I clean or garden, I cover it, because it is fine and thick and no one can cut it properly and I don't have the time to wash it daily. I wear skirts, long skirts, because I've had many abdominal surguries, not all were kinds and pants are uncomfortable. I prefer conservative, shirts that fit well, because I have big boobs and am short waisted. I can't stand Disney. Don't watch TV. Internet is filtered, because there is so much junk out there and I've run out of brain bleach. Have a pair of Crocs, but prefer white anklets with sneakers, because they are washable. My feet sweat. I wear a tankini to swim in if forced to actually go to pool or beach. I really don't want to see other people let it all hang out. I wear legging, bloomers, petticoat and cami over my panty and bra set because my house is cold. I make my own yogurt, ferment my own grains and bake my own bread, because processed food tastes bad to me. My kid has never gone to a PG movie, he'll be 16. He's never asked, we don't see movies at theater either. I prefer to pay cash because it keeps my budget under control. I want my own homestead, because I can't stand my fundy neighbors. I don't eat pork because I don't like it. I sew my some of my own clothes because the stores don't have quality clothing at a price I can afford. I am a SAHM with a scheduled chore system because I am often distracted and need to keep on topic.

All done for reasons other than religion. Most fundy's assume I am one their own and a quite angry when they find the mistake is theirs.

[ADoyle90815]

I also dress relatively conservatively, but when it's hot, I do wear a tank top. One thing I do is when I'm around my Mormon step siblings, I avoid anything sleeveless or above the knee, but that's out of respect for their beliefs about modesty. One other thing I do is that since I'm in earthquake country, I have extra food and supplies on hand, but I don't take it to extremes like some fundies do.

I'm also big about buying stuff with cash, mostly because my ex-husband ruined my credit, and it has taken me years to build it back up again. I do have flip flops, but those are mostly for the beach and the gym for showering or the pool area. If I'm doing anything else, I have appropriate shoes.

[annalena]

My feet sweat.

How's that a fundy thing? :D

[annalena]

I also dress relatively conservatively, but when it's hot, I do wear a tank top. One thing I do is when I'm around my Mormon step siblings, I avoid anything sleeveless or above the knee, but that's out of respect for their beliefs about modesty.

One thing I never really got is this "out of respect" thing. To me it's like saying your standards are higher than mine, so I'll adapt to them for now, but I'm too weak(?) of a person to always do it.

I'm not a lesser person because I choose to dress less (literally spoken)

I want to see the person that goes to a non-fundy placce or a non-muslim country, for example, and normally dresses extremely modest, and dresses less modest out of respect for the other person/culture

[AnnieC 305]

I've homeschooled because my kid needed it. I have long hair. It's braided. When I clean or garden, I cover it, because it is fine and thick and no one can cut it properly and I don't have the time to wash it daily. I wear skirts, long skirts, because I've had many abdominal surguries, not all were kinds and pants are uncomfortable. I prefer conservative, shirts that fit well, because I have big boobs and am short waisted. I can't stand Disney. Don't watch TV. Internet is filtered, because there is so much junk out there and I've run out of brain bleach. Have a pair of Crocs, but prefer white anklets with sneakers, because they are washable. My feet sweat. I wear a tankini to swim in if forced to actually go to pool or beach. I really don't want to see other people let it all hang out. I wear legging, bloomers, petticoat and cami over my panty and bra set because my house is cold. I make my own yogurt, ferment my own grains and bake my own bread, because processed food tastes bad to me. My kid has never gone to a PG movie, he'll be 16. He's never asked, we don't see movies at theater either. I prefer to pay cash because it keeps my budget under control. I want my own homestead, because I can't stand my fundy neighbors. I don't eat pork because I don't like it. I sew my some of my own clothes because the stores don't have quality clothing at a price I can afford. I am a SAHM with a scheduled chore system because I am often distracted and need to keep on topic.

All done for reasons other than religion. Most fundy's assume I am one their own and a quite angry when they find the mistake is theirs.

Amen, sister! I do much of the same.

-We plan to homeschool because odds are the child we adopt will do better with that system, at least in the short term.

- I have long hair, curly no less (natural, not a Duggar perm), and I wear hats/covers all the time because it's thinning on top.

- I wear skirts and dresses and yes jumpers exclusively because they're more comfortable for medical reasons.

- While the husband and I will watch just about anything in the privacy of our own home and no amount of bleach will ever clean our minds we don't plan to have our children watch TV and plan to monitor their internet usage and we are VERY careful not to share our less than mainstream tastes wherever children or those who might be offended could overhear. (Yes, I am much MUCH more careful than even the most religious people I know, it's that ingrained.)

- I wear orthopedic shoes/sneakers all the time and very conservative swimsuits and bike shorts under my skirts for medical reasons.

- We make all our own baked goods, our own yogurt and ice cream, cook at home and shop the farmer's markets/health food co-op because I cannot tolerate HFCS and we've found it tastes better that way.

- We don't go to see movies at the theater because it's too blinking loud

- I sew a lot of my own clothes and have even started to sew some of the husbands

- We want a small homestead

- The husband likes to exercise his Second Amendment rights.

- I am a very organized SAHW, complete with a Homemaker's Binder and a Homemaker's basket I carry around the house with me.

- I knit, quit, sew, embroider, cook, bake, and can

- I have a collection of Vintage Victoria magazines which I love

- My sewing room is decorated with chintz and lace (Lady Lydia would love this room)

And....(drumroll please)

- The husband wears a white straw hat with a black band in the summer, just like Dougie (It looks fabulous on him) He even carries a Military Murse.

From the outside, with the exception of the infertility/no kids problem, we look like the ideal "Fundie" couple. All we need is to adopt the flock of children and move to the homestead and we'd be done.

Except we're die hard Atheists. :D

The "fundies" get so cranky when they figure that out.

[Deleted02]

I don't wear any revealing clothing. The most revealing thing I own is a tank top. The reason I don't show a lot of skin is because I have serious tan lines.

[User123456]

How's that a fundy thing? :D

Sorry, I should have been clearer.

"I" Have a pair of Crocs, but prefer white anklets with sneakers, because they are washable. "Not for fundy fashion reasons, but" My feet sweat.

[Guest Anonymous]

The only "fundie like" thing that I am is that I am a housewife/stay at home mom. I hate to wear dresses but I will wear a skirt sometimes. Right now it's about 100 miserable degrees outside during the day so my wardrobe consists of shorts and tank tops. Same goes for my 10yr old daughter. She has really long legs and most shorts out there for girls her age are really short so when I find cute bermuda shorts for her I snatch up several pairs for summer. My daughter has a laptop that she must keep in a common room of our house so I can always see what she is doing on it. Same goes for her Ipod touch, which she can access the internet on. My daughter is sorta modest about her clothes all on her own though. She likes to wear one piece swimsuits (which is fine by me) but I wouldn't mind a tankini. She has a few skirts that are a little too short by my standards and her school dress code so she will wear leggings underneath them.

I wouldn't say my husband and I are overly strict about certain things and we know that at school it is hard to control what she hears from other kids about sex or whatever. We just "check in" with her often to see how she is feeling about things she hears at school.

[Guest Anonymous]

hmmmm.....I wear skirts because I find them more comfortable....keep my kids away from age inappropriate stuff because they don't need to see killing or sex at an early age (heck, I don't need to see them either)....I wear a scarf over my hair because it's a mess....

[Kitty]

I don't watch TV. that's pretty much it. It's not for fundie reasons, but rather because I can never find anything interesting to watch. I also don't wear short skirts and low-cut tops... not for fundie reasons but because they make me feel uncomfortable.

[annalena]

Was thinking about myself...

I love to cook from scratch. (although I wonder if that's really a "fundy thing")?

I pay almost everything in cash or by debit card. I didnt even own a credit card until half a year ago

I'm not in debt, thank God

try to live frugal and make money on the side, coupon as far as possible over here, try (!) to make meal plans

actually think entrepreneurship is great , may it even be a homebased business selling paper dolls

hate tv cause it's just SO DUMB 90% of the time

am way to dependent on my parents, not that i'm proud of it and working on changing it. but as fundy parents, they love to say "WE as a family" (whatever they've decided)

other than that...no.

Wear "revealing" clothing, do not plan on homeschooling (it's illegal here anyway), have higher education as a woman, plan on working and already do, live together before marriage, had sex before marriage, had several boyfriends, etc.