Bates Family Part 10

[season of life]

I would have liked Casey so all the family members names could end in a y. But I must say, considering what Jill and Jessa named their sons, the Bates haven't done too bad. Allie, Carson, and Bradley sound fine.

[Exjw2015deed]

4 hours ago, JasonAldeanMG said:

Yes they do! I didn't even think of that. For people who are close friends having  the same names for two of their kids seems unoriginal and almost copying. 

I also like to think that Kelly Jo named her 2 youngest with J's name to rub in Michelle's face that she couldn't get knocked up anymore. I doubt that's the case, but I they have to be subconsciously petty. 

[punkiepie]

11 hours ago, IrishCarrie said:

My mother believed in raising daughters that were capable of being anything they wanted to be, and her guideline for naming was "Will it sound credible with the phrase Supreme Court Justice before it?...".

So, Judge Caroline Lastname - no problem! I'm good for that job 

Judge Kaci Lynn Bates just don't sound right to me, but maybe I'm being mildly racist because I don't know the naming practises in the part of the USA. It just doesn't sound like a grown up name.

And yeah, yeah, yeah, before you all jump on me, I'm well aware that she'll be raised with marriage and motherhood being the zenith of her ambition so it's not really an issue.

Just sayin... 

Omg, I wonder if our moms are related?!  My mom said the exact same thing before I was born, circa the 80's.  She said that she would imagine the bailiff saying "All rise, Judge Lizzy Lastname presiding."  She thought it was important for a child, especially a girl, to have their given legal name be something that didn't make a woman in authority be taken less seriously because of a girl-like, "cutesy" or trendy name; it would need to stand the test of time. A nickname was fine, (I've been called by mine my whole life, but I don't use it professionally) you just couldn't have a nickname or an abbreviation of a name, be the actual name.

In some ways, I think it stinks that something like a name, which you didn't choose and is actually a reflection of the parent(s) not the person, is so important to how we are perceived or prejudged by others; especially for a woman.  I mean, a rose by any other name...  On the other hand, I'm honestly very happy my mom thought that way and gave me the name she did.  One of the smartest friends I have, a Ph.D. and college professor by the age of 26, was given a name that's frequently associated with night workers by her then,16yr old mom.  She's always telling me that people give her a double take or chuckle or assume she isn't intelligent because of her name.  It bothered her at first, but over time, she came to see her name as a triumph to her mother and to herself.  This 16yr old mom, disowned by her family for getting pregnant and left all alone when her boyfriend died one month before their baby was born, had raised a daughter who graduated from an Ivy League college- Summa Cum Laude, earned her doctorate at 24, and became a university professor at 26.  And now, you couldn't  pay her to change her name. But she would be the first person tell you that it's still a struggle for her to be taken seriously by the faculty and her students. Her kids also have traditionally, well-respected names.  

 

[lisa_m]

Episodes 6 and 8 of BUB are up. The sites say only episode 6 is up, but the video has both episodes compressed together with episode 8 first.

http://thewatchseries.to/episode/bringing_up_bates_s3_e6.html

http://www.primewire.ag/tv-2764168-Bringing-Up-Bates

[roddma]

At the end of they day neither the Bates nor Duggars get a free pass from me. I said they both let their kids be around Gothard, 'totally ' unrelated to Josh. And the Bateses let Josh be around their girls.Yea Gothard didn't live with the Bates nor did josh, but they still are guilty as sin.l

 And furthermore, I doubt either family would associate with 99% of the posters here.

[colors_outside15]

12 hours ago, AnywhereButHere said:

I always thought it was interesting that your name is something that gives the first impression of you to others and defines you  for your entire life, but you have absolutely no say in choosing it. Sure, I guess you can change it legally if you really wind up hating it or feel it doesn’t suit you, but how many people actually go through the bother?

I never liked my name or my nicknames or anything else besides my buddies, really, until I got out.

I have to say, to this day, one of the most fun things I did was pick out my name! I didn't understand the legal paperwork, and I was told if you hold a hearing, people can show up and demand that it not be changed, and I was terrified that could happen ... So, instead, I sat down with a baby name book, read through all the possible nicknames (and all the names associated with my name and all of those nicknames) and chose a name. And how I wanted to spell it, how I wanted to introduce myself, etc.

To this day, I love it, and think it suits me perfectly. And every single time I shake a hand and give my little opener, people always comment and I always smile and usually give myself a little mental pat on the back, but every once in a while my brain says to 'my parents' "HA HA!!!"

[colors_outside15]

11 hours ago, fannomore said:

This is petty but it will bug me how Zach(ary) and Whitney and Bradley all end in "y" and they pick a name that could end in Y as well and they choose an I. 

Why?!

That's actually what I like about the name. Anything that has any sort of "letter theme" has been ruined for me by the Duggars. I don't have an opinion on Kaci Lynn one way or the other. It's fine. It's not my first choice, but it's not Spurgeon. I'm sure it will be a cute baby, who will hopefully grow to be a happy young woman able to make her dreams come true (be them get married and have babies or become an astronaut etc.) Once I heard "Casey" I thought "oh yuck," but when I saw Kaci, I smiled a bit and thought thank god no one else is trying to be Jim Bob/Josh

[HarleyQuinn]

Even if she has a cutesy name, I suppose at least she wasn't named Chad whatever the fourth, then called "Carson." Just name your baby Carson ffs. 

[Peas n carrots]

Zach's aunty, Gil's sister-in-law is called Casey Bates. (I enjoy reading her blog.) I find it a bit weird when kids are given names of (living) family members, even if spelt differently.

Yeah, I am not too fond of it either. My brother is Simon and when he was a teen/early 20s our cousin named her son Simon. We all thought it was weird since it is not a family name and my brother is the only one in the family named Simon. They both have it as their first name and goes by Simon. I can even think it feels weird to name someone a name of a recently dead relative. My husband wants our son to have his dad's name which to me is fine as a second name but I feel that only 4 years after his death it is too soon for another with the same name. 

In the region I grew up the folklore said that if you had a child and lost it the child was not really lost if your next child was of the same sex and you named him/her the same name. In that case it was the same child that had come back. My great grandmother was Anna Maria and she was the second Anna Maria, the first one was born about 1,5 years before her and died at 3-4 months of age. 

Did you grow up in Central Europe or in an area where they settled? My grandpa was named after a brother that died several years before him. I always thought it must have felt weird knowing you were named after a dead brother - and I'm sure grandpa would have seen his brothers grave with his name on it! But as far as I'm aware it never seemed to bother him.

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Even if she has a cutesy name, I suppose at least she wasn't named Chad whatever the fourth, then called "Carson." Just name your baby Carson ffs. 

Actually, both Chad and Carson's official name is Charles- 

Why not just call them their real name... or name them Chad and Carson?

There really is no honor in naming the child X (obviously after relatives, in this case) and then calling them   something completely different.

[Peas n carrots]

My mother believed in raising daughters that were capable of being anything they wanted to be, and her guideline for naming was "Will it sound credible with the phrase Supreme Court Justice before it?...".

So, Judge Caroline Lastname - no problem! I'm good for that job 

Judge Kaci Lynn Bates just don't sound right to me, but maybe I'm being mildly racist because I don't know the naming practises in the part of the USA. It just doesn't sound like a grown up name.

And yeah, yeah, yeah, before you all jump on me, I'm well aware that she'll be raised with marriage and motherhood being the zenith of her ambition so it's not really an issue.

Just sayin... :my_rolleyes:

Omg, I wonder if our moms are related?!  My mom said the exact same thing before I was born, circa the 80's.  She said that she would imagine the bailiff saying "All rise, Judge Lizzy Lastname presiding."  She thought it was important for a child, especially a girl, to have their given legal name be something that didn't make a woman in authority be taken less seriously because of a girl-like, "cutesy" or trendy name; it would need to stand the test of time. A nickname was fine, (I've been called by mine my whole life, but I don't use it professionally) you just couldn't have a nickname or an abbreviation of a name, be the actual name.

In some ways, I think it stinks that something like a name, which you didn't choose and is actually a reflection of the parent(s) not the person, is so important to how we are perceived or prejudged by others; especially for a woman.  I mean, a rose by any other name...  On the other hand, I'm honestly very happy my mom thought that way and gave me the name she did.  One of the smartest friends I have, a Ph.D. and college professor by the age of 26, was given a name that's frequently associated with night workers by her then,16yr old mom.  She's always telling me that people give her a double take or chuckle or assume she isn't intelligent because of her name.  It bothered her at first, but over time, she came to see her name as a triumph to her mother and to herself.  This 16yr old mom, disowned by her family for getting pregnant and left all alone when her boyfriend died one month before their baby was born, had raised a daughter who graduated from an Ivy League college- Summa Cum Laude, earned her doctorate at 24, and became a university professor at 26.  And now, you couldn't  pay her to change her name. But she would be the first person tell you that it's still a struggle for her to be taken seriously by the faculty and her students. Her kids also have traditionally, well-respected names.  

 

I work with a gal who immigrated to the US from an Asian country. She picked an anglicized name when she moved here and decided to go by the nickname...only it's a nickname commonly associated with strippers (in fact when I read your story I imagined your friend having the same name). I don't know how long it took before someone dropped the bomb on my co-worker that maybe it would be a better idea to at least go by the full name. Needless to say she was horrified lol.

[singsingsing]

I don't get the pearl-clutching re: naming a kid one them and calling them something else. People do it all the time. I don't see the problem with wanting to continue a naming tradition but also wanting to call your kid by another name in day-to-day speech. Many people go exclusively by nicknames or by their middle names. Who cares?

[choralcrusader8613]

22 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Actually, both Chad and Carson's official name is Charles- 

Why not just call them their real name... or name them Chad and Carson?

There really is no honor in naming the child X (obviously after relatives, in this case) and then calling them   something completely different.

I would assume it's because Chad's dad is Charles, and his parents didn't want confusion or didn't want to call him Charlie or another diminutive of Charles (don't know of any other off the top of my head, though). Still weird, though.

[elliha]

16 minutes ago, Peas n carrots said:

 

Did you grow up in Central Europe or in an area where they settled? My grandpa was named after a brother that died several years before him. I always thought it must have felt weird knowing you were named after a dead brother - and I'm sure grandpa would have seen his brothers grave with his name on it! But as far as I'm aware it never seemed to bother him.

Northern Sweden. I think that these ideas died out some time around 1900 but most people have heard of older relatives being named after dead siblings. I have even seen it in a family in modern time who sadly lost a baby about an hour after birth due to a undetected serious heart defect. They named their next kid the male version of the lost daughter's name and they were planning of giving a girl the same name as the daughter that died. I found it very peculiar that they latched on to this old custom in 2014 (as it was when the baby was born). 

There is also the idea that a family can only have a given number of members. If someone passes around the birth of a child it is believed that the person died to give room for the new one. This is something that still surprisingly many people believe. When my father died after my middle brother announced they were having twins (through IVF) I got the very insensitive remark from someone that this was expected since my brother was having twins and they had pushed their luck having two through IVF. It was one of the times I was the closest to hitting someone in my life, I mean the person practically accused my brother and his wife of murdering my dad...

[Emkay]

I was one of the babies that was supposed to go by a different name. Not a huge fan of my name, I think it's kind of plain and non-descript, but it could be worse- most of the people I know by the name I was supposed to have were awful. 

 

Someone up thread mentioned names being 'stolen'- I totally get it. I'm not in the market for having kids, but I half jokingly say my name was 'stolen'- when I was 9. My middle name is a combination of my grandmothers' middle names, and it's one that passes the SCOTUS test, and has lots of options for nicknames. It would be a great name to give to a hypothetical future offspring and a way to honor my grandmothers. The one downside, besides having a British Royal with the same name (no way would I jump on the bandwagon of naming a child after her- and I had to tentatively cross another name off my list because of the influx of Charlottes that may occur within the next few years) is that my uncle and his ex-wife named my cousin  the German (?)version of my middle name. 

[doubleT]

I think Michael asked her mom and sisters to come to Chicago to help her rearrange her furniture.  She wanted their help/opinion. 

Could Brandon have asked Michael to hold off on making a baby until he earns/saves more money?  I could even see him telling her before their engagement that he is willing to get married sooner so long as they hold off on having babies for a year or so. 

I don't think Zach's lateness delayed the start of the ceremony.  I'm sure the recruits/graduates had to be there early and he was late to report. 

I think Kaci Lynn is cute.  But then I'm from a southwestern state. 

I had my first child's name picked out long before I was pregnant.  My boys name changed when I was 8 months pregnant.  My husband and I heard another name one day and fell in love with it and that is what our first born was name. Fits him perfectly. So much better than the first name we had picked out.   He got my husbands middle name, which is a family name on his side.  My second child, also a boy, was named my paternal grandmother's maiden name.    We gave him my husband's middle name too.  I didn't want one son to have something of his fathers and not the other.  So, both my sons have the same middle name which is the same of my husband.  I've never regretted that and my sons (now in their 20's) have never said they didn't like that.    My third child is a girl and she got a random name that my husband loved and her middle name is the middle name of her grandmother on my side and her great grandmother on my husbands side.  My  Dad was a Jr in name and hated that.  He said he would not name any of his kids after anyone, and he didn't.   I always wished I had been, so I gave my kids family names.  I think its interesting that something my dad was against was something I really wanted.   The circle of life. 

 

 

[SheWhoMustNotBeNamed]

http://www.knoxnews.com/entertainment/pop-culture/bringing-up-bates-star-talks-about-show-married-life-in-chicago-2c750f56-0aab-4a35-e053-0100007fe336-370116301.html

Has anyone seen this? It seems she's going to Roane State to finish up a liberal arts degree with a minor in health science.

[picklepizzas]

and still no baby yet!

[imokit]

That's a proper community college with links to transfer to proper universities for secular 4 year degrees.  Yes she's doing it online instead of going there, but its a better education (and more useful) than crown.

That she's married, continuing her education and working (babysitting is still working) says a lot.  Its interesting that despite she and Brandon seemingly one of the couples most steeped in the koolaid.  A koolaid which I must point out says higher education is bad.  She so far getting the most secular education out of the fundy children (Bates, Duggars etc), unless you count Zach's police graduation (also secular). 

She also confirms that as of the time of interview, she's not pregnant and Alyssa is not known to be pregnant.

[colors_outside15]

13 hours ago, colors_outside15 said:

I never liked my name or my nicknames or anything else besides my buddies, really, until I got out.

I have to say, to this day, one of the most fun things I did was pick out my name! I didn't understand the legal paperwork, and I was told if you hold a hearing, people can show up and demand that it not be changed, and I was terrified that could happen ... So, instead, I sat down with a baby name book, read through all the possible nicknames (and all the names associated with my name and all of those nicknames) and chose a name. And how I wanted to spell it, how I wanted to introduce myself, etc.

To this day, I love it, and think it suits me perfectly. And every single time I shake a hand and give my little opener, people always comment and I always smile and usually give myself a little mental pat on the back, but every once in a while my brain says to 'my parents' "HA HA!!!"

@jcanglin991 - why the fuck would you down vote this? if you have a differing opinion, i'm all ears, but i'm not open to random down voting and negativity especially when they are posts i write that contain information about really important psychological steps i have taken in life to get out of a cult and be healthy. it's not easy to be open anywhere, but typing something like that is terrifying for me, so perhaps you could think about the fact that many people on this forum come from really difficult backgrounds (which is pretty damn clear on my post) and band together, getting support and acceptance. i don't expect you to know my life story nor do i want you to, but you don't get to cut me down without an explanation.

[Pianokeeper]

2 hours ago, doubleT said:

Could Brandon have asked Michael to hold off on making a baby until he earns/saves more money?  I could even see him telling her before their engagement that he is willing to get married sooner so long as they hold off on having babies for a year or so. 

 

Meaning use birth control? That would be extremely surprising to me. The only thing more surprising to me would be abstinence, which I somehow don't see Michael accepting and then keeping up a facade for the family. 

If she's not pregnant, I think it's just biology -- but whether his/her fertility, etc, is beyond my speculation comfort zone. But I'm always curious when people here say they hope/think/wonder a Duggar or Bates is "holding off" or "spacing out" babies. I don't get how they could (intentionally), within their belief system. At all. 

[nausicaa]

Is it new information that Brandon is a videographer for IBLP? I never knew that before. 

22 minutes ago, Pianokeeper said:

But I'm always curious when people here say they hope/think/wonder a Duggar or Bates is "holding off" or "spacing out" babies. I don't get how they could (intentionally), within their belief system. At all. 

Yeah, me too. Using birth control is a foundational no-no, not like wearing pants or listening to country music. How else would they have any control over it other than abstinence?

[vienna]

1 hour ago, imokit said:

That's a proper community college with links to transfer to proper universities for secular 4 year degrees.  Yes she's doing it online instead of going there, but its a better education (and more useful) than crown.

That she's married, continuing her education and working (babysitting is still working) says a lot.  Its interesting that despite she and Brandon seemingly one of the couples most steeped in the koolaid.  A koolaid which I must point out says higher education is bad.  She so far getting the most secular education out of the fundy children (Bates, Duggars etc), unless you count Zach's police graduation (also secular). 

She also confirms that as of the time of interview, she's not pregnant and Alyssa is not known to be pregnant.

I agree and I find those developments also in the lifes of Erine and Alssa ad Zach all very interesting.

[ladyaudley]

36 minutes ago, Pianokeeper said:

I don't get how they could (intentionally), within their belief system. At all. 

Not have sex?

[vienna]

1 minute ago, ladyaudley said:

Not have sex?

As newlyweds who just started to have any (at least guilt free) sexual interaction??