Need a Bodyguard?

[justlurking]

As I was googling around I came across the following website: iaepa.us/executive-protection-training-student-testimonials that had a number of testimonials from some of our favorite fundies: JT Phillips, Justice Phillips, Ben & Dave Botkin, Taylor Tsantles, and much more.

It appears that they have all taken a course on being an Executive Protection Agent (aka bodyguard). I find this quite interesting as I wonder who they think in their circle would be important enough to need a bodyguard. Doug? Raspbotkin???

JT notes:

Your presentations were great and I learned a lot! This will help me in my work with my father

What the hell kind of work is that? From what I can gather the extent of JT's "work" is writing a blog entry every once in a blue moon on that dying dead horse of a website "Ballantyne the Brave" and working a few nights each week at the VF warehouse.

Could this be part of the para-military Crisis Leadership training they took to be considered "experts" under Bradrick.org? Don't see what Crisis Leadership has to do with being a bodyguard, but then again I don't understand a lot of their reasons behind why they do the silly things they do.

I can picture Dougie eventually requiring his interns to go through such a course so that they can protect him. I can also picture Dougie in that silver outfit with headdress that Whitney Houston wore in the bodyguard, being carried by one of the interns (P. Bradrick, maybe?) and singing "I will always love you". :lol:

[clibbyjo]

Someone needs to make that bodyguard pic an LOL!!!!

I need to hire them to protect me!! I have a murderer on the loose in my neighborhood and it would be right up their alley to use all their pseudo anaconda hunting skillz to find him before the police with their canine units. Actually, Pete's team probably ALREADY have found him, I forgot they have that state of the art communications equipment. :/

[twin2]

So according to their FAQ page, it appears to be a 4-day course. Now, lest you think that 4 days is not enough, rest assured that at the end of the 4-day course they give the newly minted-protective agents a snappy lapel pin to wear.

[clibbyjo]

So according to their FAQ page, it appears to be a 4-day course. Now, lest you think that 4 days is not enough, rest assured that at the end of the 4-day course they give the newly minted-protective agents a snappy lapel pin to wear.

I really need to work on my middle aged man disguise to infiltrate.(monocles are not easy to find you know!) I want to go undercover and get my lapel pin so I can get a job at the Secret Service.I know I would be qualified with this very elite degree(?)certificate at least(?) just a pin(?)

If they don't hire me, I will volunteer to be Alexander Skarsgard bodyguard. :dance:

[justlurking]

Someone needs to make that bodyguard pic an LOL!!!!

I don't have the photo editing capabilities to do so, but here's the image I was talking about:

[clibbyjo]

I don't have the photo editing capabilities to do so, but here's the image I was talking about:

LOL,YES! Kevin C. already looks somewhat like Peter here doesn't he?

[Guest Anonymous]

LOL,YES! Kevin C. already looks somewhat like Peter here doesn't he?

You mean, like this?

[doggie]

little hard to be a body guard if your always looking down because of nike moments.

[MamaJunebug]

You mean, like this?

Dang you! Dang you all!

Between this and the lapel pin, I'm never gonna stop laughing long enough to go to sleep! :D

[Guest Anonymous]

As I was googling around I came across the following website that had a number of testimonials from some of our favorite fundies: JT Phillips, Justice Phillips, Ben & Dave Botkin, Taylor Tsantles, and much more.

It appears that they have all taken a course on being an Executive Protection Agent (aka bodyguard). I find this quite interesting as I wonder who they think in their circle would be important enough to need a bodyguard. Doug? Raspbotkin???

I'm curious - what do you think JT is qualified to protect one from? I suppose he could scamper about with a shopping cart full of frumpers, throwing them over the unsuspecting heads of immodestly dressed maidens, thus saving his father and fellow interns from the disgusting defrauding sight of bare woman skin.

If hired by a fundie father to guard his daughters, JT could protect them from accidently wandering into one of those bastions of sin, a public library.

Other than that, I can't imagine what he'd be good for.

[MamaJunebug]

OMDog, this reminds me of when Curtis Sliwa and his Guardian Angels went to Saint Louis to train kids to be doers of good, as he had done back in NYC.

The training was completed, and the first coterie of security volunteers were dispatched to .... the ritiziest shopping center in the second-highest-income-level zipcode in the metro area!

Not the inner city.

Not the outer areas that were beginning to see increased crime.

Certainly not East Saint Louis, Illinois.

The poshest center in the second-richest area.

Riiiight.....

[MamaJunebug]

I'm curious - what do you think JT is qualified to protect one from? I suppose he could scamper about with a shopping cart full of frumpers, throwing them over the unsuspecting heads of immodestly dressed maidens, thus saving his father and fellow interns from the disgusting defrauding sight of bare woman skin.

If hired by a fundie father to guard his daughters, JT could protect them from accidently wandering into one of those bastions of sin, a public library.

Other than that, I can't imagine what he'd be good for.

If you read Jens Gems, he was pretty good at menacing a housewife (Jen Epstein) outside a VF event in San Antonio one time. She wanted Doug Phillips to come outside the conference hall and meet with her. Peter "Guns" Bradrick wasn't having any of that. IIRC my VF legend and lore, that was when Doug realized what a good friend he had in Peter.

[justlurking]

You mean, like this?

:lol: Love it! Can we get Dougie's head superimposed on Whitney's body (cause he's such a diva like she is).